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cover of episode I'm Still Traumatized by My Sister's Cancer

I'm Still Traumatized by My Sister's Cancer

2025/4/14
logo of podcast Dr. Laura Call of the Day

Dr. Laura Call of the Day

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Emma: 我姐姐患癌康复后,我仍然感到悲伤和情绪化,经常想起一些可怕的画面,想找到更好的应对方法而不是哭泣。姐姐生病期间,最令我痛苦的记忆是姐姐发高烧需要去医院,而我当时感到被抛弃,独自一人在家中,非常害怕和无助。即使现在姐姐已经康复,每当在学校里谈到艰难经历或癌症,我都会情绪失控,感到非常难过。 Dr. Laura: Emma 沉浸在过去的恐惧和创伤中,需要学会从积极的角度看待姐姐康复的事实。她应该积极地与姐姐互动,表达喜悦和感激之情,从而改变负面情绪的习惯。Emma的情绪反应源于她当时感受到的被抛弃感,这对于一个孩子来说是很可怕的。她需要的是父母能够理解并倾听她的感受,让她表达自己的恐惧和不安,而不是一味地关注生病的孩子的状况。Emma不需要专业的心理治疗,她需要的是父母能够理解并倾听她的感受,让她表达自己的恐惧和不安。 Mom: 我理解Emma的感受,我们作为父母,往往会把注意力都放在生病的孩子身上,忽略了其他孩子的感受。我会更加关注Emma的情绪,和她进行更多的沟通,让她知道我们都在关心她。 supporting_evidences Dr. Laura: 'In other words, instead of dwelling on the flip side of the negativity, the fear, the trauma...' Emma: 'Like, there was, like, one night where, like, she, like, because one of the side effects of the medicine is, like, you get frequent fevers...' Dr. Laura: 'That was very helpful. Mom, did you understand what that meant? Yes, that she felt abandoned...' Mom: 'Yes, that she felt abandoned. That's, and I don't, I want this to be taken in a very positive way...'

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Thanks for downloading my Call of the Day podcast. You too can participate in my live radio program heard weekdays from 2 to 5 p.m. Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Emma and Mom, welcome to the program. Hi, Dr. Laura. Thank you so much for taking our call today. You're welcome. Emma, hi. How old are you? Hi, I'm 14. And what grade does that put you in? 8th grade.

Okay, what can I help you with? What is the problem you're having, Emma? So when I was 10 years old, my sister got cancer, and she was, like, a baby. And she was my little sister. And she's a lot better now, thank God. Like, she stopped her medication, like, one year ago. But, like, sometimes, like, I still, like, remember some of, like, the stuff that I, like, they're just, like, these, like,

pictures that come into my head and then like it makes me really sad and emotional and I want to feel like a better way to like cope my feelings than crying because I just cry so like I want to know if there's like a better way to like handle my emotions rather than crying yes if she's in the house or around you you go up to her and give her a big hug I'm so happy you're my sister and I'm so happy you're okay

In other words, instead of dwelling on the flip side of the negativity, the fear, the trauma, some of the anger, there are all kinds of things that were going through your head. If I had more time and a private office, we could go through some of it, but I'm going to just give you an overall. You're dwelling on what was scary. She could die. You could get cancer.

She's in the hospital. You don't know what to do with yourself. There are all kinds of things that go on in the older child of somebody, the older child where there is some illness. So look at a picture and say, kiss, kiss, hug, hug. I'm glad you're here. I'm glad that's behind us. I'm glad we're both okay. And do it in person with her every time.

And you will get into the habit of not embracing. You will get into the habit of not embracing. It's a habit. A habit you have. And we're going to give you a different habit. Habit requires frequency. As I said, pull the picture out and say it to the picture. Mappy, you didn't die. It was all very scary. You're good now. I don't have cancer. Everything is good.

I think there are other issues that I choose not, Mom, to bring up on air. Okay. But I do believe... Is that something I should call back at a later time? To be more exploring.

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Is it English, math? No. No, it's like, it's not in a specific class. You said it happens at school. I'm just wondering when in school. Okay, you can't talk while I'm talking, Emma, because then I can't hear you and you can't hear me. So if you hear my voice, stop talking, please, just for a moment. So I'm curious as to where and when at school this sometimes happens.

Like, if someone, like, just, like, brings up, like, yesterday we were talking about, like, how everybody goes through hard times. Like, yesterday my teacher came to me and said, like, we know you went through a very hard time. And, like, that got me really emotional. And I, like, a couple, like, weeks ago, my other teacher was also, like, not the same teacher, a different teacher, was talking about how, like, her sister just got cancer also. So, like, that also made me emotional. It's not in a specific class. It's just, like, whenever the subject comes up. Okay. Okay.

What's the part of the memory that's the worst for you? Name one. Like...

Like, there was, like, one night where, like, she, like, because one of the side effects of the medicine is, like, you get frequent fevers, like, high fevers, and you have to go to the hospital. And I remember one night, like, they were going to the hospital, and I didn't really want them to leave. So I, like, started crying, and then I was, like, running after the car so they wouldn't leave. But, like, that's one. And then, like, there's just, like, other ones. But...

Okay, Emma, Emma, take a breath. Emma, Emma, take a breath. That was very helpful. Mom, did you understand what that meant? Yes, that she felt abandoned. That's, and I don't, I want this to be taken in a very positive way. When children are little, every child's concern is for themselves, in addition to like a sibling or a parent. But it's very worrisome for a child.

When they're sort of out of the picture, that's very scary. And it's probably for a kid, the worst kind of feeling. And Emma has a good heart for her sister. And in addition, she's somewhat traumatized as all non-ill kids get. All of them get traumatized with they're sort of put at the back of the bus. They have to be. Got to take care of the sick child. Right.

So I would urge more conversation with Emma about her feelings for herself, not just for her sister. That's very sweet, but that's not the whole story. Okay. Do you think that she would benefit from some therapy or should I just talk to her myself and dad? I think her mommy, she needs her mommy to explain all of this because we tend to focus everything on getting another child well.

That's just what happens. No, I don't think she needs therapy. I think she needs to air these feelings because they're scary and embarrassing and frightful to air because it makes you sound like you're selfish or something, you know, and you're not. You're just a kid and this is normal. Right. Emma, are you okay with what I just said? Yes. Okay, sweetheart. Hugs to both of you. My number, 1-800-375-

2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

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