Shownotes Transcript
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Thanks for listening to my call of the day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5 p.m. Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Tina, welcome to the program. Well, thank you. Thank you. How can I help? Oh, I was calling in because you were recommended by an employee of Kaiser Hospital out here in California that I should talk to Dr. Laura. Oh, cool.
I went online, found the 800 number and here you are. And I'm wow. Thank you. Very cool. It's like, wow, cause and effect. Okay. So my question was, is, will my husband ever be able to stand up for me? And we've been married for 30 plus years and he
He is the oldest of eight, four boys. Well, wait, wait, wait, Tina, Tina. Yeah. In all the years you've been married, have you ever asked him that question? When are you ever going to stand up for me? I have. And he just. And his answer and his answer. Well, that verbally he cannot, he cannot do it. That's his blind spot. No, no, no. I'm asking you when you commented to him multiple times over the years, what's his answer been?
He doesn't answer. He just stares at you like he went into a coma? Yes. Well, that's your answer, dear. He's not going to stand up for you. So now what? Well, he went in the hospital one week in December. And I said to my family, this is a dress rehearsal. We're going to find out how it plays out, his four sisters and him in the hospital. And
It did not go well because they don't talk to me. Tina, Tina, Tina, what's your next question for me? The first one was answered. Okay. The next question, I went legally then to an attorney for both of us to get our trust and our will in place.
So that I have power of attorney and medical when such a happening won't happen in the future. Okay. Should I just reach out to the firstborn sister, the oldest one who is in charge? What for? Well, what for? She was in the hospital room early that day. Tina.
Tina, what is it in a person's being that has them spend 30, more than 35 years watching people's consistent behavior, still thinking something ought to change it? What's in a person's makeup that leads them not to accept reality? Right, right. No, I'm not right or wrong. That's a question. I hear it. I hear it. And it has been consistent behavior.
He wants me to be with him. Doesn't matter what he wants. Okay.
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I mean, you do understand this is the United States of America, not Pakistan. True. You can demand a certain kind of behavior or you could eliminate people from your presence. You've turned control for 35 years over to him, which has hurt the marriage and hurt your psyche and hasn't made anything better. So between now and anybody's death, you ought to stand up for yourself for a change. I think you'd feel much better about life if you did.
Because you're as gutless as he is. You two are the same person. He's not standing up for you, and honey, either do you. Stand up for you. So you and he are twins. Okay. So stop complaining about him. You're no better at it. Ooh. Ouch. No, no. I hear you. And I wonder myself. So I'm speaking...
therapy as we speak that was the reason well i think you're wasting a lot of money in your therapy oh okay so what is it in my psyche that going back to my father who never stood up for me is that the link it doesn't matter what the link is it doesn't matter if we found you at the side of the road when you were three days old and brought you up on another planet none of that matters
What matters is here you are at 75 still being mistreated and permitting it. It doesn't matter what came before. You have the opportunity every day you're not dead to ensure respect. Okay. You're expecting him to take a leap for you. You won't take a leap for you. And we don't get permission to be unkind to ourselves or others because of something in our childhood. Wow.
So I'd like you to start fantasizing before you all get together again on how you're going to stand there and what you're going to say. And your husband is telling you to eat it so he doesn't have to deal with it. Sorry. Yeah. Let's role play. You be one of those people. I will be you. So you start it off. Go ahead. I don't like you and I don't want to talk to you. God bless it. I don't have to hear you.
Okay. I don't give a flying F. A flying or soaring or swimming or diving F. You can put anything you want in front of the F word. Why should you care? I don't care about the opinions of anybody unless I respect them. If I respect somebody and they have a criticism, I listen to it. I don't tolerate abuse, though.
I don't like you and I'm not going to talk to you. Well, go away then. Jeez. You know? Stand up for yourself. I don't care what your father did or didn't do. Okay. Your mother did or didn't do what your mother and father did to each other. None of that matters. What matters is that between now and dead is not a huge amount of years, sweetheart. And you're going to go out never having stood up for yourself. Okay. True. Don't do that. Mm-hmm.
I don't want to be in their presence. I don't want to go. Then don't. Then don't. Either get them out of the hell out of there or you're the hell out of there. Don't waste your time. Do you realize every moment is precious that you're alive? Don't waste them. Don't waste them. Don't waste them.
I'm Dr. Laura Schlesinger. My number 1-800-375-2872. You're just a click away from some terrific deals being offered by companies that get the Dr. Laura stamp of approval. Visit drlaura.com. Click on sponsors to take advantage of the special discounts available to Dr. Laura listeners like you.
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