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cover of episode Moving Apart or Moving Together?

Moving Apart or Moving Together?

2025/1/31
logo of podcast Dr. Laura Call of the Day

Dr. Laura Call of the Day

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D
Dr. Laura
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John
一位专注于跨境资本市场、并购和公司治理的资深律师。
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John: 我面临一个艰难的抉择。我的妻子想要搬到离我们三岁的自闭症孙子更近的地方,这样她可以更好地照顾他。目前,她每周都要往返于我们居住的农场和孙子家之间,这让她非常疲惫。然而,这片190英亩的农场对我们家族意义重大,是我祖祖辈辈留下的遗产,我非常不愿意放弃。我既想多陪伴孙子,又不想放弃这片承载着家族记忆的土地,我感到非常矛盾和纠结。我爱我的妻子,也爱我的孙子,更爱我的农场,我不知道该如何平衡这些重要的关系。 我理解妻子的想法,她希望能够更好地照顾孙子,减少奔波的劳累。但是,离开农场对我来说意味着失去一段重要的历史和情感连接。这不仅仅是一块土地,更是我们家族历史的象征,我很难割舍。我尝试过说服自己接受妻子的想法,但内心深处始终无法平静。我渴望找到一个两全其美的方案,既能满足妻子的愿望,又能保留我们家族的珍贵遗产。 Dr. Laura: John,你面临的困境是许多家庭都会遇到的两难选择。首先,你需要明确自己对这片农场的感情和态度。这片土地对你来说意味着什么?是单纯的财产,还是承载着家族历史和情感的宝贵遗产?你需要认真思考这个问题,并做出一个独立的决定,不要被妻子的愿望或其他因素所左右。 一旦你对农场的态度有了明确的答案,我们才能进一步探讨其他的解决方案。如果决定保留农场,那么我们可以帮助你的妻子更好地适应目前的状况,例如建议她多休息、午睡、散步,并服用一些放松的补充剂,以减轻她的疲劳感。同时,我们也可以考虑让你的女儿女婿搬到农场附近居住,或者调整妻子的行程安排,减少她往返奔波的次数。 如果决定搬家,那么你需要和妻子一起规划未来的生活,包括如何处理农场、如何适应新的环境等等。重要的是,你需要和妻子进行坦诚的沟通,互相理解和尊重彼此的需求和愿望,共同找到一个双方都能接受的解决方案。记住,一个成功的婚姻需要双方共同努力,互相支持和理解。

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Sometimes the most painful part of getting sick is the getting better part. Waiting on hold for an appointment, sitting in crowded waiting rooms, standing in line at the pharmacy. That's painful. Amazon One Medical and Amazon Pharmacy remove these painful parts of getting better with things like 24-7 virtual visits and prescriptions delivered to your door. Thanks to Amazon One Medical and Amazon Pharmacy, healthcare just got less painful.

Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5 p.m. Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. John, welcome to the program. How are you this morning? Good. What's up? Got a little dilemma here that I have. Maybe wanted to kind of get your insight. I

We have an autistic three-year-old grandson and my daughter and her husband live basically in the same neighborhood.

basically four hours from where we live. We have 190 acres of family farm and basically the last people alive from our family for this place. And my wife wants to, of course, move where my grandson is. And currently she's staying there during the week to pick him up from

uh baby school and uh during the weeks and then she comes home on the weekends and of course it's wearing her out and so she's wanting to move there and of course i'm not wanting to leave what we have and well then she's got to get some more rest during the week so the ride back and forth won't tire her out anymore tell her to take more naps quite a bit earlier do some exercise

I mean, if you're not leaving the farm and she's determined to do this, then we have to help her do it better. Okay. That sounded too easy. So help her do it better. Right. Give her some advice and suggestions about naps and walks and having C-A-L-M, calm, which is basically magnesium. And put that in her tea at night and water and rest, get more rest.

Because you're not leaving the farm. I got that. You two have different. And that's the only way I can see you to work it out. Right. And of course, I didn't say that I'm not leaving the farm. I just didn't want to. Oh, well, as long as you don't want to, you won't probably.

Right. And I had just about assigned myself to the fact that I was probably going to have to or because I, too, want to be around my grandson. I just hate to leave where we're at. You know, you can't look to anybody else for an answer. Oh, absolutely. Right. You can't.

You have to decide. You could always ask them to move closer to you. Maybe they can live on the farm. It's enough acres. So you could talk to them about living on the farm. Right. If you don't want to give it up, don't give up. I don't want you to go to your deathbed really pissed off that you gave that up when it's been in the family forever. If that's not acceptable, don't let yourself be intimidated, frankly. Right. So maybe the kids will move up.

Maybe she'll learn how to make the travel. Maybe she'll stay only four days and then drive and have three days back on the farm. So first thing you have to do is be true to yourself. Don't feel manipulated or threatened or ultimatumed.

Decide. This has been in the family forever. Are you really willing to give it up? That's going to be the first question. Sir, that's going to be the, you don't have to answer to me now. It's not my business, but I'm just telling you how I think you ought to go about it. First, make that decision separate from everything else, because once we eliminate that as an option, then we look at her spending less time over there or them moving or her learning how to get more rest.

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Right. Okay. And we have a very good marriage. I didn't ask you that. I'm sure you did. Do. Whatever. That's not relevant. How to make this decision is the important part.

Right. No, the only reason I said that was because when you were talking about the manipulation and that type thing and being pressured and that type thing, that's the only reason I said that. Well, you could have a very good marriage and have a woman who really wants what she wants. Oh, absolutely. Which is the case. Right. So I didn't say she was a bad woman, bad wife, bad marriage. She wants what she wants.

And if you don't want the same thing, then you've got to find some alternative conclusion. Right. Okay. Okay. Well, I appreciate your insight. And that's what I had called for. I appreciate that. You're welcome. The first thing is be true to what you want with the farm. That's the first decision. And keep that separate from everything else. Then we can work on negotiations and alternatives.

But if we're just going to keep all the balls in the air, then it just gets sloppy. My number, 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

Sometimes the most painful part of getting sick is the getting better part. Waiting on hold for an appointment, sitting in crowded waiting rooms, standing in line at the pharmacy. That's painful. Amazon One Medical and Amazon Pharmacy remove these painful parts of getting better with things like 24-7 virtual visits and prescriptions delivered to your door. Thanks to Amazon One Medical and Amazon Pharmacy, healthcare just got less painful.