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cover of episode My Daughter's Dad Is in Jail

My Daughter's Dad Is in Jail

2025/4/28
logo of podcast Dr. Laura Call of the Day

Dr. Laura Call of the Day

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Thanks for listening to my call of the day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5 p.m. Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Lisa, welcome to the program. Hello. How are you? Hi.

Good. What can I help you with? So I am 59 years old. I am a single mom, divorced, and I have a 19-year-old daughter. And we just found out about six months ago that her dad has been incarcerated for the use of drugs. And I know that there's nothing that I can do about it.

to fix it but i'm wondering emotionally what the best route would be for me why do you think you have to do something why she's struggling with what embarrassment anger what is she struggling with give me her words give me her words give me her words not your guess

Her words are, why doesn't my dad call me from jail? Why hasn't my dad talked to me for my entire life? Why is my dad? I have the answer. I have the answers. Okay. The answer. Why has this guy never talked to me my whole life? You say because I, your mother, made a really dumb choice in a man. That's the answer.

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Order now. Welcome to your Walmart. Subject to availability restrictions and fees apply. Now that was a helpful commercial. Okay. It's the truth. And you have to tell her the truth. It's not your fault. It's not because you're not lovable. It's because I made a mistake and hired a and married a horrible guy. I made a atrocious mistake and I apologize. And the reason he's not calling you from prison is because he's an ass.

There's nothing to be gained for him by calling you. He's not getting extra cookies. That's it. I married a jerk and I'm sorry. It was a terrible decision. I don't know how I can make it up to you except be here as your mother and apologize that I put a jerk in your life. Sorry. That will help her immensely. Okay.

Well, I was looking more, I guess, I mean, when you see a 19-year-old or a 16-year-old or a 14-year-old crying. Madam, madam, that's what you say to your 19-year-old crying. You're crying because I made a foolish choice. I picked a jerk to be your dad, and this is the price. You pay because I made this mistake. That's what you say to a 19-year-old crying girl. You own it.

Well, I've owned it before with her. No, you said you didn't know what. Okay, since you've done everything right, then she's just crazy or on drugs or has a brain tumor. However, I think you haven't done that. I think you put your arms around her and say, this is all my fault, not yours, mine. Because of the decisions I made, you're crying. So let's talk about that.

I hope at some point you will forgive me. Forgiving you releases some of her rage and hurt and confusion. Okay, so holding her and hugging her and admitting all that is how I would support her then? Yes. Okay, that's what I wanted to know. You get back to just living. Go to dinner, watch a movie, look at her homework. You get back to being normal.

As long as she gets the message, this ain't about her. Because if she thinks it's about her, then she's going to find an equal jerk in her life. Okay. Well, she definitely knows it's not her. If she knew it wasn't her, deep down in her heart, she wouldn't be crying. My number, 1-800-375-2800.

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