My Son Is off Track
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How's it going, Dr. Lohr? Good. What can I help you with? So I've got a 15-year-old freshman in high school. He has always been a pretty decent kid, not always the best student. This last week, we had parent-teacher conferences and come to find out he's failing three classes due to missing assignments.

When we spoke with him about it, he had kind of a rough early spring January. We missed some days of school for hockey and then he missed a couple other days here and there and he just never caught up. And so we're in the process of catching up. Today, however, he was caught at school with a vape pen and

which is very concerning. And I'm trying to gather myself when I approach him. I want to know, he has things that he does that he loves, like his love in life is fishing, being outdoors, and then like he shoots archery competitively like two nights a week. And I don't know, like I'm struggling with taking those as punishment from him or do we go ahead and do that?

Because in some ways, I think those are the good positive outlets. I'm afraid that if we take away those things, they'd be there. And so I'm just trying to get a plan together for how we address and move forward. You know how my father made sure I never went on drugs when I was going off to college at the State University of New York at Stony Brook, which became kind of the Berkeley of the East. And I woke up one morning to black-helmeted police coming through doing drug raids everywhere.

and I'm standing in the hall going, what the hell is going on? You know how he kept me from doing that? My dad, I will admit, I was afraid of him. He wasn't going to beat me or kill me or anything, but he was a stern dude, right? And when he got mad, I didn't want him to be mad at me, and I didn't want him to disrespect me. So he sat there one time, stared at me deeply into my face, and said, only lowlifes use drugs.

That ricocheted around my head, and I went through four years of college, and if I sniffed marijuana, it was only because I walked by somebody smoking. Never touch this stuff, because I didn't want to disappoint my dad, and it didn't want to be his definition of a low life. It was very effective. What I'm finding these days is kids are not scared of their dads in particular. They've never been scared of their moms, but they're not scared of their dads. They don't necessarily care about impressing you.

or living up to standards so you'll be proud of them. So these are the kinds of discussions you need to have in your own head as to how you create that, how you sit with him and say, you're vaping. You're a good athlete. You do this, that, and the other thing, and you're screwing it up with freaking great vaping. And I so disrespect you doing that. I so admire you doing these other things. And then you do something this lowlife, this stupid. Perfect.

So you fit in with your buddies or you feel good at the moment. That's not how you become a man. This is the kind of discussion I'd want you to have with him, not taking away the things that he may be doing for the rest of his life, even for a career. Amazon One Medical presents Painful Thoughts. Do they ever actually clean the ball pit at these kids play gyms? Or is my kid just swimming in a vat of bacteria, catching whatever cootie of the day is breeding in there?

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Okay. And then, so with spring break coming up... Oh, no, he's not having a spring break. No. He's going to sit and you're going to get assignments from his teachers and he's going to spend the entire spring break, four hours a day, doing math or science or reading or writing. No spring break. Okay. He's going to get back into the notion...

And you don't argue. You just say, this is what you're doing. The rest of the time, we can go fishing. You can shoot some arrows. But right now, I need you to focus in on school. That's it. Not I need you. Don't say I need you. I blew that. You will focus more on school. Not I need you. Oh, I just, bad host, bad host. Okay.

I think we can. OK, you got me. He needs to look up at you and not want to disappoint you. Yep. That's what boys need in their relation. That's what boys need in their relationships with their fathers. That works. So go build it. I can do that. Good. Yep. That's it. All right. Thank you, Dr. Larkin.

You're very welcome. My number, 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform. Spring is in full bloom at the Home Depot. So what are you working on?

If you're digging into your garden, come into the Home Depot's Garden Center, where we can help you pick out the best plants for your space. Then make sure you give your plants the proper soil and support they need to thrive, like Miracle-Gro 25-quart potting mix on special buy two bags for only $15. It's formulated to help your plants grow and keep them fed for up to six months. Shop spring savings happening now at the Home Depot.