Navigating Life as a Teen
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Thanks for listening to my call of the day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5 p.m. Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Dad and Felicity, welcome to the program. Hi, thank you. You're welcome, Felicity. How old are you? I'm 17. Are you a junior, senior? What are you?

That's a little bit complicated, right? She's a C. Okay. Weird school stuff happening. Uncomplicated for me. Basically, it looks like my school's going to shut down, but the only thing that I need to do to get to properly graduate is to have one more science credit, which means that if I can take an extra class this year, I'll be graduating. Oh, good. Excellent. What are your subsequent plans?

I'm going, since I don't really know what to do, I'm not going to be spending the money to go to college yet. I'm going to take time to learn, do internships, take jobs, just try to figure out what I want to do. I like you already. If your dad doesn't feed you regularly, I'll adopt you. How's that? Sounds good. I already called him. You like that. What can I help you with, Felicity? So, let's see.

I realized pretty recently that I have a, like, poor relationship with myself, with God, and, like, as an actual extension of that was the people around me. So I started figuring that stuff out. That means I'm spending a lot of time, like, studying and reflecting on myself. And I think it might be healthier for me to separate from my boyfriend while I do this.

My question is, you know, whether I should, and if so, what exactly that separation would entail. Should I break up with him completely? Can we still talk? Is it more like a soldier going to war kind of situation? I'm going to ask you kind of a stupid sounding question, but it just hit me what to ask you. And I do think it's pithy, P-I-T-H-Y, not pissy. At 17, what do you need a boyfriend for?

you're not getting married well i am i am dating with like the eventual consideration of marriage but the knowledge that it won't happen for quite a while i refuse okay stop for a second you actually think that a boyfriend you have at 17 is highly likely going to be the man in your life the father of your 84 children for the rest of your life the next 80 years

You think that your taste and understanding and your preferences are not going to change in the next 10 years? Because they do dramatically. Truth is, I don't think you have any need for a boyfriend at 17. And it is distracting from you learning about yourself, as you just mentioned, and from participating in life to learn more about life and yourself to be a better judge of what you want. I don't think teenagers, even somebody as intelligent and deep as you,

have any clue as to what would be the best choice in a man. All right.

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Well, it's not that I'm not necessarily right with God. It's that I don't. So, um. Finish the sentence. I don't. And then realized I was kind of just, sorry, what? Start all over again. You did say several times, twice, not right with God. I want to know what that means. Okay. I mean that I realized that until recently I didn't actually believe in a God so much as follow the habit of acting like I did.

That's not being not right with God. That's a religious journey. You know, your biggest problem, you're going to get a laugh. Well, your dad will get a laugh out of this. You won't. But here's the thing. You're 17. What the hell do you think you know by now? You're a kid. You're a teenager. You've been under the influence of parents and other adults. And it's going to take you through your 20s. And that's primarily what your 20s are for, to learn more and make decisions. You're only 17.

You're not unright with God. You're beginning your religious journey. That's not equivalent. Thank you. I mean, think about it. You can ask all the adults you know, are you right with God? And they're all going to look at you and go, oh,

Well, I don't do everything I think I'm supposed to do by virtue of the Ten Commandments. And I sometimes use God's name in vain. And I sometimes, and I sometimes, and sometimes I don't believe because something bad happens to me and I just don't think God would do that to me. Everybody goes through all that stuff. So everybody has periods where they just don't feel right with God, not in God's determination, but in their own. That's a process that you will do forever.

So please be kinder to yourself right now about this. All right. Thank you. You're just beginning to enter the world, sweetheart. That's why I don't really want you to bother with a boyfriend right now. You don't need one.

You need to do these interning jobs and travel a little bit and read a lot more and participate in activities and hobbies. You need to develop your full self. And that's really hard to do when you're 17 with a boyfriend. They're very demanding. Yes, ma'am.

And I know young women in particular get a little nervous about not having a boyfriend because maybe they're not adequate, maybe they're not pretty enough, smart enough. Why can't they have a guy who cares about them? There's a certain amount of security to your self-image that comes with having a boyfriend. But that's not the way I'd like you to develop your self-image. Not with respect to another teenager who likes you. He's a boy. He's not a man.

His needs are going to be the needs of a boy. His ability to take care of you is beyond the realm of a boy. I mean, look at the difference between him and your dad. Be nice. Okay, fine. Very good, Dad. Thank you. You got miles to go. You got miles to go. Don't rush it. Miles to go. Your decision not to go to college, I think, is so unbelievably smart, and

I, that's part. That's why you don't need a boyfriend. You don't need college. You're still finding out who you are and what you want to be and do. And college doesn't provide that for you. So if you need that ticket someday because you want to be a dentist and you need that ticket to go to dental school, then that makes sense. But just to go to college to say I'm in college is a waste of money and time, especially these days. I agree. Take your time.

I feel like you think something huge has to happen quickly. All right. Thank you. I appreciate it. Are you okay? Yes. Okay. You can always call me back. You know that, right? Yes. You've got lots to think about, but I'm just asking you, slow it all down. I will. Everything from God to life, slow it all down. Okay. Okay. Thank you.

Thank you, Felicity. Bye, Dad. I'm sure she thinks you're a wonderful dad. Thank you very much, Dr. Lauren. I'm sure of it. Okay, you're welcome. My number, 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars.

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