Refresher: How can Leslie stop feeling so resentful towards her family?
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Hi, Dr. Laura. I'm sorry to waste your time. You just answered all my questions, but I've come up with a new one. Okay. So I am like the other caller. I do way too much for my husband and my family, and I don't mean way too much in a disrespectful way. I just think that they have come to take advantage of me, and I have built up resentment. And I do not know. I've listened to your show, and I'm like... Okay, but that's not what the last call was about.

I know, but the ending of it spoke for us. It was ultimately about communication. Yes. If you want to be Wonder Woman, go for it. But if you stop being the girly girl who has needs and feelings and desires and then get resentful, it's not fair. Absolutely. And I am such like the caregiver and the alpha girl. That's nice. That's fine.

There's nothing to hate. I am very competent. I don't stop being a girly girl. I don't stop saying this is what I... I try. Okay. I feel I need a hug. I need to hear that this was spectacular for you. Very simple. It's not complicated. I know. I say, be his girlfriend, be his girlfriend. And I'm like, but wait, how do I be his girlfriend? Because I'm too busy taking care of everything. And I feel like I shut him down and it's not fair. What am I supposed to do with a grown woman who is not stupid...

who knows exactly what she needs to do and won't do it, and then complains about it. Yes, I know exactly. No, you tell me what I'm supposed to do with that, because I don't know. Curling up on the couch for a movie is one of my favorite ways to end the day. Lily's always right there with me, and we have a new addition to our movie nights, the fluffiest...

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Go to quince.com slash doctor for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash doctor to get free shipping and 365 day returns. quince.com slash doctor. See, I'm here to help clarify things, but when you're already clarified and just damn well won't do it, then it tells me that how you look is more important than how you love.

You're absolutely right. And I love them with all my heart. No, you don't. No, you're not showing love. You're not doing all of that out of love. You're doing all of that out of ego and control. You think so? I know so. I rarely bother wasting time thinking. Oh, so I'm a jerk then. No, you're a jerk. I would have called you that. See, I think it's like on the tip of my fingertips of like, because I love to do everything for them. No, that's love has nothing to do with it.

Those are not displays of love. That's a fib. That's your flypaper. That's your fly... Stop telling me I'm right. Stop telling me I'm right. It's very manipulative. Stop it. Stop it. Stop telling me I'm right. Please. And listen carefully. You're not doing it because you love. You're doing it as flypaper to get love. And it isn't working. Because nobody's going to love you simply because you're Superwoman. Yes. You're absolutely right. Don't tell me I'm absolutely right. No.

You're right. I'm sorry. I just said it again. But that's it. That is it. I'm doing it. So I love that. Yeah, it doesn't work that way. How do I turn that around? I don't, I'm like... You need to go into counseling and learn how to be lovable in your own mind. And love myself, basically. No, that's a phrase that makes me want to vomit. Okay. I do not love myself. I respect that crap out of myself, and I don't love myself.

I think anybody who does has a serious problem. Right. I don't love myself either. No, you're not supposed to love yourself. You're supposed to see yourself as lovable. Okay. And you don't. I don't. So you become a worker bee. Work will set me free. Yes. I need to work on that. No, see? You just turn it all into work. Oh, man. I need you to cry.

I need you to sit with your husband and bawl your eyes out and say, I've been spending all this time doing all this shit and getting resentful for it because I thought if I did all this shit, then everybody would love me. I need you to cry. I need you to talk about your mother and father and how you got to feel unlovable. I need you to sob all over his lap. Okay. That is what you need to do. Be vulnerable. That's letting go. Tell him the truth. Tell him the truth. Pour your guts out. Tell him the truth.

Okay, and I bet you can't believe I'm afraid to do that, but I want to do it. I believe you're terrified to do that. Very. So what? You're my Leslie, and I'm going to reward you in advance, okay? Okay.

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