Should I Take a Stand or Take a Hike?
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Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5 p.m. Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Erin, welcome to the program. Hi, Dr. Laura. Hi.

How can I help? Actually, I just received a call from Dan after sending you what I thought would be a quickie. And he notified me. It was a little long to be a quickie. I did read it and I thought better we talk it through. Some quickies are quickies. Others require a little more attention. So I thought yours did. So tell me about it again now.

Fair enough. I have been married for, I'll just regurgitate it. I've been married for 24 years to a man I've known for 28. We have two teenage sons together, both in high school. And I've been a stay-at-home mom since they were born, which equates to about 17 and a half years.

I have thought I've had a very good marriage, a very, what would be considered a traditional marriage, and have been very faithful and loyal as a result. I have...

prioritize my husband and boys given that I'm at home and that has proven really beneficial for all three of them in that in terms of what I can see you know like I had mentioned for example you know just my voice

success, my husband's success. And on my part, I just really focused on my own self-improvement. So that means education, fitness, health, things like that. And it's been a good model. What presented itself as an issue first was in roughly, well, 2023.

My husband had been asked to manage my mom's finances, and he did invest them. I'm sorry, who asked him to take care of mom's finances? My mom. Okay, and has he helped anybody else in the family with finances before? Did he have a track record? Yes.

Yes, that's his line of business. And so, yes, he plays that role in his own family with his own father. He did that with his mom, and then he was asked by my mom. And he did invest my mom's money very conservatively, and there wasn't any apparent issue.

until my mom passed a few years later and that was the first time I ever had looked into it because I had asked him continuously or is everything going okay how are things going and he just continuously assured me everything was fine and

And but as the executor, I was required to like settle all of her assets. And so I looked into the accounts and that's when I was able to see that he had he had invested her money really conservatively. But as a consequence of not managing it, he had never logged in again. It's been two years by then and he had just never. OK, two out of how many years?

Did he not manage it? Two. Oh, so he signed up and then never managed it. He invested it and then just did not manage it. And what was his explanation for this? He didn't have one. Yes, he had one. Everybody has an explanation for why they do or don't do something. Well, ultimately, he apologized and said he was scared.

And that was the only explanation. Scared of what? Ma'am, scared of what? Because it was declining. It lost about 20%. How would he know that if he didn't log in?

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What do you subscribe to? I subscribe to Multiverse Madness. Hey, Morty. Hey, Rick. I subscribe to Carrie's Catchphrases. Hello, lovers.

On Prime Video, I subscribe to whatever I choose. All the channels I love in one app. I subscribe to Max. I subscribe to Paramount+. Anime on Crunchyroll. Bosses on BET+. I added on Build My World. I control my school. Because I choose what I subscribe to and where I do it. On Prime Video. Rick and Morty and Just Like That, available on Max.

Well, I think being in the business, he was aware, but in my view, that would have been his first responsibility to manage it. And he didn't have a further explanation than that. And with that, I...

chose to just move forward because, like I said, I have minor children. But it was that same year that I also removed myself from a social situation that we had been apart in for years. Are these things related, your mother's money and a social situation? Is that related?

No, they were just congruent. They were just happening at the same time. And what was the problem with the social situation? Well, unfortunately for me, there was no problem with my husband and sons. They have had a lot of fun. Tell me what the problem was with the social situation, not what it wasn't. Tell me what it was.

There was a specific woman that just did not like me at all. And so there were several incidences where that was just really made apparent. And I had... Can you give me one example of that so I understand better?

One of the best is I was on a thread with several other moms. She was one of them. And it was an invite for all of the boys, you know, to go to a water park in a couple weeks and for everyone to agree on a date. So everyone did.

And then I didn't hear anything. So it was a couple days before the event. And meanwhile, of course, I had told my boys, you know, you guys are going to go and this is exciting. But I chimed back into that thread and just followed up because I hadn't heard anything. And one of the women said, oh, we already went. So.

Then I knew I, I mean, it was, like I said, totally unprovoked. We wouldn't have been any the wiser, but for whatever reason, we were excluded. And, and I didn't even respond good, good, bad or indifferent. I just, I saw that happen and I didn't respond. I just, at that point, I really just opted to disengage from. And what is this social thing? This is a woman's club.

What is this? No, it's families related to sports, like school sports. So you were not close to any other families who were going because nobody talked to you about it. So you're not friends with anybody. Wow. No. How did that come about? Because I was always friendly, but I didn't ever really become very close with any of these ladies. Got it. Okay. So you don't want to be involved in that anymore. Right.

Right. And how is this a problem?

Well, that was in 2023. And at that point, I just disengaged. And my husband and sons got very upset with me for doing that, regardless of knowing. I just want to make sure that your husband and sons knew that you and the sons were squeezed out of the event. Did they both know that? Yes, totally aware. And that was one of the many. So why are your sons okay with that?

I don't get it. I don't either. And it's more my husband is what my concern centers around because it's his behavior. So where in this, let's just jump to how I might help you.

Okay. Well, I have continuously tabled the sense of not being prioritized. How about ask me a question? How about that? So I know I have something to do here. Okay. I guess at this point, I'm just considering separation because I feel like

By continually turning the other cheek, I'm perpetuating this behavior. And I've been reluctant, like very obviously very reluctant, given the circumstances. Okay, I don't really understand why you think you need a separation from your family. I understand that you're annoyed, but I don't see where that rises to, I should get the hell out of there. I think it does rise to giving them all the riot act.

I've been tolerating bullshit and being mistreated so that you guys would have this social arena, you know, and I'm not doing it anymore. So you have to figure out how to invest yourself in this or some other social arena without me. So take a stand. Don't take a hike. Take a stand tonight. Don't take a hike. That's not worth destroying a family for. My number 1-800-375-2800.

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