To Be or Not to Be a SAHM
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Hi, Dr. Laura. Oh my gosh, this is so exciting. Thank you. Thank you for being a pillar as a mother-in-law, grandmother, mother, a female icon, and we all appreciate you. So I want to know what I can say to my husband to be

have him at least sit down and listen to me in regard to why I want to be a temporary stay-at-home mom and take care of the kids and their family. Take care of the kids and their family. So you're not talking about little kids that are yours. You're talking about somebody else's children? I'm talking about us, my family, us, my husband and my two kids. How old are your two kids?

The oldest is four, going to be five in January, and the other kiddo just turned 12 months. And who's taking care of the kids now? My mother and my mother-in-law is taking care of the baby. And I know you're going to cringe when you hear this, but my oldest is in daycare. Could you turn your kid over to an institutionalized situation where he's not loved all day? Yeah.

I agree. How do you manage to do that? Don't tell me you agree. I'm asking you how you do that. How do you justify it in your own head? Yeah, kicking and screaming. So I'm kind of done with it. I'm having a really hard time, and I'm tired of doing this. Okay. Are you working a full-time job? Yes, but I know that if I can...

Get a couple hours a day at home. I can do something to supplement that where I don't need to be in a job nine to five. I can be home. Can you live on his salary? Curling up on the couch for a movie is one of my favorite ways to end the day. Lily's always right there with me. And we have a new addition to our movie nights, the fluffiest.

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I think he'll have a very hard time seeing that because I can just see right now he's comfortable. And I don't really give a crap about what he thinks. Okay, what do you think has priority? Making sure your kids are in your arms and that you're raising them because you're the mother or him being pissy for a while? Which has priority? Right. Well, clearly the mother component. Okay. Then the best way to do that is to spend this week

Put in your notice starting Monday. And this week, pencil and paper. Work out the money that he brings home, what the take-home is, and what your bills are. Work it all out. I mean, if you have seven different television stations that you pay for, put it down to just Netflix and give it a day. See where you can easily budget instead of going to a fancy grocery store.

There are co-op kind of places all over the place, and their prices are unbelievably much better, and the stuff is the same, which impresses me. So work it out. Give your notice. Sunday, tell him, here's the paperwork. I'm going to raise your children so they know they're loved, they get educated, they are influenced by what matters to you and me.

And I'll have because I won't be feeling guilty and missing my kids and working a full time job. I'm going to feel a lot sexier more of the time. Be sure you add that in. Be sure you make that happen, because I don't see what those burdens on you, how you feel like getting it on. So that's part of where I'm also having trouble with us. I mean, I'm not going down the road of another conversation, but yes, exactly. I don't understand what you just said. Yes, you are.

But let him know the benefits to him. You'll have a happier wife when you come home. Your kids will be happier because they'll be loved up by me-us. And I'm going to feel much more sexy, adorable. And here I worked out how the budget's going to happen. And I gave my notice. Because your kids, every day, they grow every day. I know. You can't wait for this to work out. I think you've just got to handle it.

And if you're going to tell me now that if I do what you've recommended, he's going to divorce me and you married the wrong man to start out with. What can I say about that? Correct. Nope. Because no real man is going to object to that. He's going to go, ah, shit, I don't have the money to go skiing, to go fishing. Yeah, we will, but we'll just have to every month save up and then you can do that. Yeah. Okay. Okay.

I'm worried. I feel like I need more ammo. But you're right. I mean, the bill, I, yeah, correct. Your ammo is that you're the mother, you're his wife, you love him, you love the children, and you made the decision as a mother. This is what you're going to do. Right. And as long as you can show him on paper that we can subsist on his income, we're not going to have frivolities, but we can exist on his income. Men like numbers.

I know. If you go to them vaguely, don't worry. It'll work out. It freaks men out. It freaks me out, but it has to happen. It has to happen. So there's really no other alternative, and you make it work. That's how it goes. Do talk about the cute and feeling sexy if you leave that out. Yeah.

it won't go as well. I'm Dr. Laura Schlesinger, my number 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

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