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cover of episode What's With This Behavior?

What's With This Behavior?

2025/2/21
logo of podcast Dr. Laura Call of the Day

Dr. Laura Call of the Day

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Dr. Laura
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Michelle
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Michelle: 我有一个九岁的女儿,她总是为任何事情道歉,即使只是简单的请求或指令。例如,如果我让她把碗碟放到水槽里,或者准备好她的衣服,她都会说对不起。这让我很困扰,我不知道该如何帮助她改掉这个习惯。我不希望她养成这种过度道歉的习惯,因为它会让她缺乏自信,并且容易被他人利用。我也观察到,我的丈夫和家人并没有这种习惯,只有我女儿和我在一定程度上会有这种行为。我尝试过和她沟通,但收效甚微。 Dr. Laura: 你的女儿的过度道歉行为可能源于她早期的行为模式。你需要让她明白,道歉应该伴随着对错误行为的承认。简单的说一句“对不起”是没有意义的,真正的道歉需要表达悔恨和承担责任。每一次她无缘无故道歉的时候,你应该问她:‘你做错了什么?’让她意识到道歉的真正含义。与其让她说‘对不起’,不如让她说‘我爱你’,这能让她更积极地表达情感。同时,你也要以身作则,在适当的时候道歉,并解释道歉的原因。这样,她才能更好地理解道歉的意义和价值。 Dr. Laura: 此外,我将在明天的节目中分享一本由听众撰写的儿童读物,这本书讲述了关于道歉的四个R原则,或许可以帮助你更好地引导你的女儿。

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Thanks for listening to my call of the day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5 p.m. Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Michelle, welcome to the program. Hello, how are you? Good. What's happening?

Hi, so I have a nine-year-old daughter, and I would love your thoughts on how I can help her stop apologizing for everything. And when I say she apologizes for everything, it could be, I could say, honey, I'm sorry.

Please don't forget to take your dishes over to the sink. Okay, Mom, I'm sorry. Or, Honey, I laid your clothes out on the bed. I've got everything ready for you. Let's get moving. Okay, Mom, I'm sorry. So this happens. Who else in the family tends to get apologetic?

It's definitely not my husband. You're clear about that. Very crystal. And do you argue about him not saying sorry? No, ma'am. Really? No, ma'am. I do. I couldn't resist that. If he never said he was sorry, I'd be all over him. Come on. You're going to tell me you never brought it up? Come on. No. Give me a shovel. No.

In cases, yes, I have brought it up and I'm very big on manners. Men and women should have manners and treat each other with kindness and respect and, you know,

So, yes, I have brought that up because I need her to know that daddy can apologize, too, when when it's definitely needed and appropriate. And I'm the same way. I I'm not overly apologetic by any means, you know, unless I've I've done something wrong or I am at fault. Yeah.

but you ask who else in the family is very apologetic, I can honestly say overly apologetic, no one. Okay. How about you drop the word overly? Okay. If I drop the word overly, or excuse me, if I drop the word overly, I would say me. Well, then this is the 11-year-old version of you. Okay.

Oh, if you ask my mom, if you say, if you ask my mom that she would have said, no, no, Dr. Laura, Michelle was a terror was not it was was a little bit of a terror at nine. Yes, but that was then this is now. Right. Okay, this is actually simply done. Okay. Every time your daughter does that you go, what did you do wrong?

I appreciate an apology for something you've done wrong. Could you tell me what you've done wrong? Because basically when a person apologizes, they're supposed to say, I kicked the door in and I'm sorry. So you have to mention what you did wrong and then say sorry. Otherwise, when I ask you to get the towel, say, okay, mom, love you. Okay. And I think all of you should be running around saying love you all the time. I agree. So let's change sorry to love you.

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So you'll have to explain to her that I'm sorry follows an admission of the wrong deed, wrongdoing. Okay? Great idea. I can do that. That way she'll understand because just plain apologies don't mean anything either. I mean, when you say sorry that flippantly, it has no meaning. And we want that to have remorse to have a meeting. Meaning, not a meeting. Meaning.

Yes, I agree with you 1 million percent. And I have been unsuccessfully able to convey that to her. So you're on a roll. You know what to do. You got it now. You're ready to roll, mom. Yes, ma'am. Thank you so much. You have a great day. Appreciate you. Thank you. Thank you very much. Bye bye. My number 1-800-375-2872.

A person, I'm going to open the program tomorrow with a children's book written by a listener who was at the VIP section of the celebration of my 50 years on radio after the show. She wrote a children's book and it's on, sorry, I'm going to read it at the opening tomorrow. And she dedicated it to me. It's a published book. And she does the four R's. She even added another R.

I was okay with that. I'll read that on air tomorrow. I have to find out where it's sold so you guys can get it. But that'll be tomorrow. My number, 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars.

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Okay, we've got Katie's projects, Dan's bake sale, Emma has a test tomorrow? Uh, sweetie, I'm out of my blood pressure, man. Managing the house while Mama's gone is not easy. But did you know that now, Walmart Pharmacy has prescription delivery straight to your door? Wait, what? Really? Yep, just upload your prescription to the Walmart app and keep doing your thing. We'll bring your groceries and prescriptions all in one bag and straight to your door. Thanks. Dad, when does Mom come back? In 38 hours and 47 minutes. Huh.

Now, your pharmacy comes to you. Welcome to your Walmart. Delivery not available for all prescriptions. Exclusions apply.