Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
After one year in COVID, I started doing a lot of... Have you changed a lot? I've definitely changed a lot. Probably, yeah. We haven't talked in like, what, a year and a half at this point? Yeah, and we don't talk, talk. This is like, we're trying to talk when we think of talking, which is different. Oh, okay. I mean, it's like in general, right? Because I don't really text people. I prefer to just meet up or call.
Because texting is just hard. I don't like texting people either. I don't really text any of my friends to keep in touch. There are some people, of course, that talk to and text to on a regular basis. But it's because we have a continuous conversation going on the whole time.
I feel like you're putting out a really serious podcasting vibe right now. Really? Yeah. Why? You sound like you're on an agenda and you're trying to convey some ideas. That's how I usually talk. Yeah, okay. Maybe you can slow down a little bit. Okay, sure, sure. I will slow down. Are you relaxed? I am relaxed. This is actually my first ever in-person episode. Yeah, you told me that. I did? Okay. So, you listened to Bill's episode. Yeah, it was still pretty funny.
Yeah, I enjoyed it. It was very interesting to listen to it. I mean, it's like, congrats on putting yourself out there. Thank you. Wow, that sounds so formal. So how's your dating life? Oh, God. I mean, the quarantine's been a rollercoaster. What's your favorite dating app? I've seen you on Tinder, right? Oh, yeah. Okay, Tinder is like...
the bottom tier like it's the worst one ever because okay you know like i all of my friends like tell me about horror stories from cinder but the thing is cinder is the only app that i know the guys also have horror stories of okay yeah so i think that's like the worst one i would say okay honestly if you are um just want to talk to people and you're bored and quarantined or whatever it's i would say either bumble for you just talk about your experience bumble or hinge
Probably. I like Hinge. Yeah. Bumble is kind of complicated. How so? Like you have to... There's a time frame you have to text and then the guy has to reply to keep the chat alive. It's just so much... So complicated. So unnecessary. Yeah, but it's one of their policies to gamify it. The best experience I've had was probably Bumble. Because in Hinge I just like talk to people. Okay. Hinge was recommended to me by a friend. He said Hinge is the best one because you can see who liked you.
Yeah, but like with Bumble, I guess you have the... you can't really see unless you pair up. I actually like Hinge because I think Hinge is better for more mature daters. Tinder, it's like you want to like the person but without seeming like you like them first. But then Hinge is if you like someone, you just send a like and then you start a message. Would you usually ask a girl out from dating apps? After a little bit of texting?
Okay, not gonna lie, the two dates I went out for, like, online one. Two in total? Yeah. I don't, I didn't really want to date. So why are you on the app? Okay, it's just, I was really bored. In my mind, the goal is not to ask the girl out. Why not? I just don't have any goal in my mind. I just have, like, oh, let's just talk. Let's just talk. So I don't have a specific, oh, yeah, we talked for two days. Let's ask her out. That kind of thing.
Then you would be one of the really annoying guys I match with on dating apps. Yes, exactly. That's why I'm telling you I'm not made for dating apps. Yeah, but you're just having fun. Yeah, exactly. I mean, it's... Okay.
I'll bring back to the other point, but basically the first and the other one, they first said, "Hey, do you want to meet up?" And I was like, "Oh, okay." And that basically made it obvious. So basically they asked, so you agree? Yeah. And then we just planned out a couple of things to meet up. Do you pay?
Yes and no. It's like, okay, honestly, most of the girls that I've dated, well not really dated, but I've been on dates, the first one, yeah, I usually try to pay. But then very often they're just like, "Oh no, you got it last time, I'll pay this time." That's on the second date then? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's about it. But yeah, the other thing is, I feel like honestly my experience on dating apps is way better than some guys.
Like unfortunately, I know someone with friends who are a little shorter than six feet. So their experience is very different than mine. Yeah. I can imagine. You have such like high privilege. Yeah, like I didn't realize that was a privilege. Do you put that in your bio? I don't really put it. Sometimes when they, you know, when you make an account, they ask you. I just like put whatever information like.
I can, but sometimes, maybe sometimes I don't, but people ask me and I'm like, oh yeah, I'm like 6'1", 6'2", or something. And the conversation continues. But at the same time, I don't, like, I don't. If it's not that, it wouldn't continue. Yeah, exactly. Just like. I know, I've done that many times. You've done that? Of course. Like, you wouldn't date someone who's shorter than you? Back in my old, immature ages. What do you mean? I've definitely changed. Like, my bar has definitely gone from,
5'11" down to 5'7" 8" Does it mean your bar went lower? Yes, my bar went lower. Oh god. Yeah, I guess height is such a restricting factor. Here's the thing though, the way you described it is that the shorter guys have to have
have more in other ways in order to get. Which is okay, you know, it's... What about height for you? I don't really mind it. As long as, okay, here's the thing though. With the, like, I'm 6'2", right? Oh, you are 6'2"? Yeah, I'm 6'2". I thought you were 6 feet. No, I'm 6'2". Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. I'm like 185. What's 6'2 in centimeters? Like 185, 187? No. 185 is 6'1". Okay, yeah. I think I'm closer to 6'2 now. Okay. Yeah, which is... Good for you. I...
freaking Bill said that I was skinny right on the podcast uh yes yes I was that's why that's why I texted him I was like I'm not skinny anymore and I had to like send him the picture of the scale and I'm like I actually gained muscle this year so you know that part then yeah
Yeah, we can talk about that. Oh yeah, yeah. So how do you feel about me talking about having a crush on you in my life? Oh, I kind of knew. Yeah, of course. I'd be surprised if you don't. I mean, it's like, I kind of knew, but it's, you know, I feel like in that situation, there's nothing I can do or say. So, I mean, like, what should I say? What should I do? That type of thing. Right? Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Like again, uh, cause people told me and I mean, everyone knew. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. But like people told me and tried to make me make a mobile. Like I was just like, okay, it's not really my place to do any action. But the thing is, I think I was so inexperienced in this kind of things like dating overall. I've definitely grown a lot since COVID actually. Cause I started using dating app last year. Oh really? And I,
I had like all my dating experiences from dating apps. Oh wow. Yeah. I mean, you, you keep yourself busy. Yeah. Yeah. It's fun. Yeah. I guess like some people find it fun. And I learned a lot. Yeah.
Oh god, okay sure. Just stay safe. That's the main thing. Whenever my friends, especially female friends, are going out on a date, I'm just like, share your occasion. Share your location. With you? Yeah, like share your location, let me know where the hell are you. I mean it's like, okay honestly, sometimes it's just scary. Because you don't like, the guy could be just some random person, right?
Yeah. And I know so many of my friends that they're telling me, yeah, like the guy would always like push me to go to his place after the first day. And I'm like, oh God, don't, don't, don't do it. What if he's just looking at us? Yeah, I wouldn't go to the guy's place on the first day. Yeah. Like imagine you come in and there's just like bodies everywhere. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's why I'm just like, yeah, be careful. Yeah. My rice charity score went down to like 92, from 92 to 60 something.
Oh, that's not bad. Yeah, you were 60-something, right? I was 69, like, first year. Yeah. Did it have to change a lot? I think it's, like, went down by, I don't know, low 50s, maybe? Oh, really? High 40s? Yeah. I mean, it's... I feel like... Okay, honestly, if you are...
Were you a virgin in first year? Oh, God. Do you really want to talk about this? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. And are you still a virgin? No. No? Do you want to talk about it? Let's just say one night stands, one night stands, one night stands. Same. Oh, God. Yeah.
Okay, sure. Okay. I do have like one. During COVID or second year? Third year? I was during COVID, yeah. Yeah, same. I mean. Good for you on losing your virginity during COVID.
Cut the blind. Are you happy? It was like a whatever situation. I mean, for me, it wasn't like I was looking for it. Okay, it just happened. It just happened, yeah. Yeah, whatever. Whatever happened, happened. But, yeah, just...
went downhill. How's it like now? Do you look for hookups on dating apps or? I don't really look for hookups anymore. Do you look for anything on dating apps? I don't. It depends. Usually, like, I don't know. I'm pretty straightforward.
Yeah, so like if I do want like if I would say we are on a whatever date and we're just like I really like her I'll just say hey I think we do you want to start dating like officially? That's what most girls want. I just learned to adjust my expectations. Oh god. Yeah. Is it? It's kind of sad. What? No, no, no. It's not about that. It's just that all of my female friends tell me that
the expectations for guys are just like on the floor yeah I just like keep dropping and dropping and that's why when a guy shows up to treat me nice I'm like wow is he trying to like scam me or something yeah which is like just that's why it's sad to me yeah it's sad yeah because one time I was with a girl and she was like wow you're so nice but what do you mean like
what did I do? And she's like, oh yeah, then she explained to me and I'm like, oh. Sometimes I talk about things that I really appreciated from a date or a guy and then I think to myself, aren't these like basic human decency? Yeah, like, so a girl once took an Uber to my place, right? So she paid for the Uber herself to my place, right? But then when she was going out, like, hey, I will pay for your Uber because like we use our MySpace this time around. And she's like, oh wow. And I'm like,
what do you mean like isn't it just like just there and then she's like oh okay but yeah it's it's sad so sad it is sad it is sad that's why I'm like oh god do you like being a guy in this way you just have to do so many months to stand out I mean it's like it's not I'm not doing it for a girl I just you're doing it for your human decency yeah I'm doing it for my human decency
Honestly, just paying for an Uber, if it's fair. So what's your, like, when you spend money on dates, how does it work for you? It depends, like, where we're going. So, for example, let's say we're going for a happy hour, and then we go for, I don't know, desserts and everything else.
Sometimes, I would pay for the happy hour, for the drinks and then for the food. So it would be like, I don't know, like what, $50-$70? And then we would go for desserts and every something else that would be also around the same price. Because we do some activities afterwards too, right? So girls pay for that? Yeah, so it's kind of even. But usually the girls are just like, "Hey, you paid for it, let me pay for that."
At least that's the girls I've met so far.
But I'm guessing, like, there are others in the world that are... Yeah. It's like a... Wait. I have a question. When you see a guy... You should ask all your dating questions to me right now. Oh, sure. Yeah. Seize the opportunity. Oh, sure. Why not? Yeah. I mean, like, I don't have that many questions. Okay. You're just doing so well. Excelling. No, I'm not excelling. I'm just, like, I'm not doing anything in my dating life, to be fair. Like, I'm usually in my dating life, like, I'm just...
floating or whatever happens. I'm just like... Going with the flow. Yeah, going with the flow. Oh, God. But yeah, no, like, let's say you're on a date, right? You're going on a date and you saw the guy's pictures. But then you see the guy in person and he looks way worse. So on the picture, she's like 7 out of 10, right? Yeah, it happens. In person, it's like 5 out of 10. So what's your, like, reaction usually? I definitely wouldn't act anything out. Like, in the past, I would still...
just go along with the date maybe for like two, three hours and then I go back and I regret having spent so much time even though I didn't like him from the first um, site and now so the latest one actually so there's this guy um,
I matched on Hinge and he looks kind of cute in the picture but then in person I just he's not that far different from the picture but I just don't find attracted to him and so like we just really spend 10 20 minutes talking and I said I need to go home and he's like what I'm so confused I thought you want to hang out I was like yeah but it's too hot I want to go home and then
And he was like, is this something with me? Like, I don't look like my picture. I was like, oh, no, it's not you. But I just don't feel attracted. There's no physical chemistry and stuff. Oh, that's raw. It is. That's so raw. I feel so bad for the guy. Yeah.
So why are you asking? Did that happen to you? No. No. Usually what happens, thank god, it happens like opposite. I see a girl and I was like, "Oh, she looks better in person than on the pictures." Which is kind of bad, because that means she does not know how to take pictures. But it's good to undersell. It depends. It depends. Not on the dating apps, I feel like. It's better to slightly undersell. I guess for girls though, right?
Yeah, because guys are not picky. Yeah, it depends. Most guys are not that picky. Yeah, I'm hella picky. I'm like, I have a very specific taste. Yeah? Yeah, and then I have a very specific taste when it comes to communication too. So, it's like... I see. Yeah. I've been trained to lower my bar and widen my taste. Oh god. Yeah.
I mean, this is the thing. Are you looking for anything, though? Eventually, a relationship that I'm not pushing for anything. Whenever girls talk to me, like, yo, I like this guy, but he's not answering my texts. Why are there so many girls complaining their dating problems to you? Because I am just like... Why are you so popular? I'm not popular. Just like people, no. They always ask other guys, like, how do I get his attention so he can ask me out? And I'm like, how does this logic make sense?
Why can't you just... Yeah, why don't you just ask him out? Yeah, but they're like, I don't wanna because it's awkward. And I'm like, God, sorry. That sounds so frustrating. Like, any guy would say yes if you're just...
be a decent person without skinning them out like honestly most okay so most girls think that most of the guys are dense and don't understand yeah no most of the time what happens is that they pretend to not understand yes because if we like assume that's just worse right it's worse if i assume that oh yeah this girl likes me i'm gonna ask her out but what if she doesn't
And if you like her, you can still ask her out. Yeah, but what if you don't like her? And you know that she likes you, but this whole, I guess, dynamic is awkward. So you just want to do the...
the whole action for her, I guess. Do everything yourself. But again, it would be weird, right? If the girl actually didn't like you. So in that case... Is it easy for you to tell if the girl likes you? I mean, for me, it depends on the girl. I've met some that are like, I'm not sure what they're thinking. I've met some that are like, okay, yeah, I see. I see what you're doing. But you got to actually say it to me in person. Like,
Is that what happened with me? I mean, I was just like, I didn't really do anything. I feel so, like, looking back at, like, first year, I was pretty awkward, to be honest. I mean, I was also, what, I was, uh...
I wasn't really looking for anything to first year. It was just like for fun. Um, sure. But no, I mean, what I'm saying is that, uh, it's, you don't need to give me any like excuses. No, I'm not, I'm not giving you excuses. I'm just saying like in terms of, um, like when I'm in this situation, like again, like what would you, what would you like the guy to do?
Definitely now I'm different than before. Yeah, but now what would you like the guy to do? Now I would ask the guy out. Yeah, but let's say you're giving the advice to, I guess...
to yourself in the past so you would just say oh yeah ask him out no I don't think I would be able to do that because I had zero dating experience so I think it's just it's just it's just part of me before I learned more about stuff and yeah it's just uh it's different it's just that it's gonna happen to any guy I liked and it just happened to be you
Yeah, yeah. Not the best choice, but... What do you mean? 99 red flags? Yeah, definitely red flags. I don't think that many, but I guess like since... You know your red flags.
I know most of them. I know most of them. Like, do you want me to list them all off? Yes, go ahead. Oh, God. Just give a few. Oh, commitment issues. Oh, okay. Vulnerability issues. Okay. I do not like to, like, just basically emotional unavailability. Oh, like...
I guess workaholic is not really to the extent of like, "Oh yeah." I see, I see. We basically covered everything. Yeah, a couple more. Yeah, I know. Yeah, but no, I mean those are very general. So like commitment issues, you mean like you want to be able to see other girls? No, not that. It's just that like... Too much emotional investment?
You have to talk too much? Or... Oh, no, no. What do you mean? It's more like... Okay, so here's the thing. I get scared off very easily when you introduce me to your parents. Oh, okay. That's true. Okay. I can see that. But I would love to be introduced to the guy's parents. Because that means you are getting serious. Yeah. It's different. I mean, you wouldn't say no. You can communicate your feelings like a mature adult. No, you don't say no to that.
You can talk about your feelings, why does that make you scared and why is that bad for the relationship? To be honest, I don't feel like we would be compatible in a relationship. Not the first one to say that. I get that a lot. And how do you feel about that comment? I mean, it's because I know all my red flags. Honestly, so many girls think that guys are horny as fuck. Yes.
I don't, okay, no, no. Most of my friends are not, though, at least. Or maybe I'm just, my friends are not like that. Because I have, like, some friends who are, for example, like, super Christian and are not going to do it, are not going to do it until marriage. So I have those kind of friends. So you're thinking of the consequences and then that would hold you off.
That actually makes a lot of sense. Yeah, it's... Yeah, I mean, but also... I've learned. Yeah, but also, if you're, like, dating someone, right? I'm not dating them because of the sexual attraction. Like, there is some... But of course, there is. There is some. It's important. There is some, but it's not the most important thing. Hmm. Interesting. Yeah.
What do you mean? For me, sexual attraction is only part of men hooking up with girls. That's true. That's also true for me. Yeah. But like, there needs to be at least, there has to be like 50% sexual attraction. For you to date? Yeah. That's just different preferences. Different people have different preferences. Like for some people, sex is quite important in their lives. For some, it's not. And yadda yadda yadda. I think sex is not just sex, but it's also...
it makes you closer. I feel like it's just an intimate thing on a spiritual level, you know? It's not just physical. Spiritual level. Yeah, sex connects you emotionally. I guess, I don't know, like, have you had sex in a relationship, though? I've never been in a relationship. Oh, okay, yeah, so, I don't know, like, I don't know about the spiritual part, but for me, it's just that usually a hookup is just, you know,
like a one night stand I feel like after a couple of times it just gets boring oh really? because I mean there's like okay there's like sexual attraction but then what do you mean it gets boring? I mean it's just there's sexual attraction but then yeah sex is sex but then it's just like it's just sex and neither did I in terms of like any relationship so interesting you didn't either yeah so I don't that's interesting that you haven't had sex in your two relationships I mean yeah sure it's just it's different like for me it's
There is a meaning of sex of like I guess in relationship. Yeah, it's very different. That's true. It's very very different That's why I'm just like I don't really mind it So when girls sometimes tell me like oh, yeah Like I don't want to do it on the first day or like for me again. So like very much later. Yeah, make sense. Mm-hmm
Because for some guys, I know it's a deal breaker. A girl can't be that off, right? What's going to happen with a girl? Like, what's the worst that can happen with a girl? I, you know, some girls are just bad. Like, at sex? Yeah. Yeah, but like, their genitals are not that different. But in guys, there's a huge difference. I mean, like, let me tell you that sometimes I just like, the girl was that bad, I was like,
But are you that good at sex? I think I'm okay, but the girl is just like... You don't have that much experience, right? Like, you're definitely still learning. Yeah, I'm definitely still learning, but I'm just like, even then, I can still like, know. Yeah, actually, going back to earlier, where you were saying sex in a relationship is important, like an important step. But then, for me, it would be like, what if you date for so long and you find out that sex doesn't work? They're bad.
I think skill-wise, you can work on it together. Yeah. But if it's the hardware... Oh, the hardware? No, I mean, like, the girls I see that I'm pretty sure it's fine. Yeah.
Again, like, there's, it's hard to screw that up. Yeah, because the girl's hardware can't really be that far off. Yeah, and I don't know. I'm okay. I'm not self, like, super self-confident, but I'm like, I think I'm okay. I never had a, like, because usually... Very decent. Yeah, but also, like, the girl that I've slept with were, like, very much, it was, like, all about sex. So, like,
They would tell me if something was... Because they would tell me, like, hey, I came, like, can we do this later? Like, can we change that or something? So they actually could try to communicate. Yeah, that's good. So I think so far no one really complained about the size, so... If they keep seeing you, then it's good. Yeah, I mean, yeah. If everything is just one night stand, then maybe there's a problem. No, it's like, for me, the rule is, like, three times, and then you have to change. Oh, really? Because, I mean, it's...
Like, what's the point of going more than three times? To be honest, I kind of believe that relationship moves forward or dies. So, like, if you keep sleeping with a guy and if you just keep sleeping and sleeping together, it's going to end or it's going to go further. Yeah, but also you have, like, other things in your life. Like, I usually, for me, it's, again, like, I have, I guess, like, a period when I go out.
for like hookups and stuff and then but then like i'm busy so i don't have time because also that whole like process of talking to people takes a lot of time and effort it doesn't really take that much time but just takes a lot of effort and i don't have that after like working and then coming home and then doing some other stuff and i'm just like at 9 p.m i'm just like i could talk to this girl or i could go to sleep
I'd rather go to sleep. So yeah, it's just that again, like that's why the three, three, I guess, like three times rules, not even like a rule. It's a lot of effort to get to meet new girls and then dispose them after three sex. Yeah. It has more work than if you just have like one stable. But like you can't do it for long, long. Why not?
like for very long yeah like an actual friend with benefits oh but the thing is you both are going to be like in a different point and like in your relationships because maybe oh yeah okay yeah you're friends with this right now but then maybe like two months later or something you or she might have like a guy that they're saying seeing right and i'm not really into the idea of
hooking up with a girl who's hooking up with other people right now just because of um that's a lot to ask for STDs yeah of course no no okay like you're a condom no no no no I mean like not as in you've had sex with other girls I know I currently not currently concurrently right like if a girl is like having sex with like three different guys at the same time like like okay like are you wearing condom cool like are you blah blah so like do you do have you got checked
Do you guys have it regularly? Yeah, ever? Regularly? I never had it. I never had to. Like, I didn't. I don't think I have any. But it's a good idea that you wouldn't have to worry about. True. And there's so many things that girls need to worry about, to be honest. I feel like guys are pretty safe on this one because there's things that girls can get infected with and guys can just be caring and not.
True. Like UTI. Do you know UTI? Do hygiene. Do proper hygiene, guys. Yeah, condoms are a great invention. Yes, it is. Especially since I hate kids. Yeah, no one wants kids at 20 years old. Okay, next question. Let's see. Wait, I have a question. Oh, yeah. So you wouldn't have sex on the first date? Why is that? It depends. You're not an object to it.
I'm not objective. What would you feel if a girl suggests that? Would you be a little overwhelmed? Not really. I would probably ask, what do you want from this? Because again, I usually go on the first date with no expectations. That's what every guy says. Yeah, because why would you have any expectations?
Well, I usually have very low expectations so that reality can succeed. I think it's different for guys. It's like having no expectation means like, hey, I'm going on a date. It could be like something romantic. It could be a hookup. It could be something different. But like whatever it is,
I'll just go with it, right? So if a girl asks me, hey, okay, so let's talk about what do you want? Because I just want to make sure, hey, is this a hookup for you? Is this just like...
what you want from your relationship in general or just in general, just to make sure that we're on the same page. I feel like that's the most important thing to me. So I have another question for you. What are you looking for then? If you're just going with the flow, you don't really mind what comes out of it. So what's the meaning for this kind of dating experience for you? Is it for experience or just for...
for fun? I mean, like, I just like meeting people. I guess. I feel like as a girl it would be strange to me, like,
friends from here. I don't need more friends, especially guy friends. Wow, wow, wow. Because guys don't make great friends. Excuse me? I think you are pretty good. Excuse me? I think you are a good friend material, but I don't think... Material? Friend material. Wow. Again, this is a... He's a good boyfriend material, but in practice, nah. I don't think
Do you think you're a boyfriend material? Depends on what are your expectations. Yeah, okay. Right? Because some girls have expectations of boyfriends specifically. To be more, how to say, spontaneous. To be more, I guess, aggressive. I'm not really into that. Like proactive? Yeah, I'm not really into that. You like to lead.
I'm okay with dating, but I have life that I want to focus on. So the girlfriend will never be the priority? Usually not. Wow. I don't think so. It's just hard. You have to hide this episode from every girl you date from now on. I usually say that, though. I mean, it makes sense, though. With girls that I've dated before, it's always made sense for them, too, because...
we always had something else on their life to be like number one like right now it's you know I gotta finish my degree gotta get the job experience gotta do that and that and then like yes it would be nice to have another relationship but since I don't have enough time to like do everything together I would rather sacrifice that part
And if a girl is fine with that, because she might also be working really hard on her degree, on her work or something, it might work out. Here's the thing. So, you've never been in a relationship, right? No. Yeah. So, how do you think it will work with... My future relationship? Yeah. Yeah.
Just in general. Because again, you have pretty much a path, right? In the relationship. You're going to be on a date with this guy. You're most likely going to have sex on the first date. You are going to go out... Not that likely. Like either first or second or third. If it's longer than that, it's too much. Yeah, but like it's in the first three. Pretty soon. Yeah, pretty soon, right? Then you will go out for a couple of more times. Aren't you afraid that it's going to get boring?
with the same guy over and over? I don't think it would get boring but the thing I'm worried about is like if they're not looking for anything serious or if they're pretending to be and then I get hurt. I don't think I'll get bored but I think I'll get sad. So you would be okay? Okay, so you actually are okay. I don't think I get tired of a guy I like that easily. Okay. Yeah.
Have you ever had that experience? Maybe like in one year or maybe in three months, I'm tired of it. Oh, okay. Well, yeah, three months is not that short, to be fair. Actually, no, it's freaking, three months is not, it's short now for me. God. I don't know. I feel like if I like a guy, then I'd be able to, I wouldn't be tired of him. Yeah, so, yeah, okay. I'm asking like, the way you describe it sounds like you don't like anyone that way. Yeah.
to not get tired of them. I have a... What? What? I mean, like, you're putting in a very bad image. Yes. I'm just putting out a very honest image. No, no, no. I'm just asking. I'm just asking. It's like a general question. Anyway, so... Okay, so you have the path, right? So...
I haven't really gone that far in any relationship path, so I don't really know. Everything is pretty new. In terms of percentage, how would you say you're invested right now into serious relationship?
Compared to what? Just like, let's say 0%, you just want to hook up. That's it. 100%, you're like, okay, we got to get married. My mentality is that if I go on a date with a guy, if I really like them as a person and I feel like it's compatible, like our paths are kind of in the same direction, then I'd usually want something more than just a hookup. But then...
If I find them extremely attractive, then I don't mind just having a hookup or, like, a couple hookups. If they're not looking for a relationship, then I'm fine with hookups. But if they're looking for a relationship, then I could... Like, as you said, the sexual attraction isn't as necessary. Yeah. Like, it still has to be there, but, like, it's not... It doesn't have to be that strong. Okay, so I, like... You're, like...
I feel like you're closer to 60-70% in terms of how the message would be in a serious relationship. You're like, "Yeah, I would like it." I don't even know what you mean by this percentage. I can visualize it. 60% would be like, "I would like to have that." Like, "I'm ready, but I also don't mind." Yeah, "I would settle for less." "I'm ready." "Settle for less." Oh god, that sounds so sad.
Why would you say that? Don't settle for less. Settle for hookups as long as they're attractive. Never settle. Okay, I'm sure. I'm kidding. I think I'm ready for a relationship, but
But I also don't want to force working out with anyone if they're not. That's good, that's good, yeah. Like, one big mistake I've ever done is, like, going into a relationship without actually thinking, am I ready? You've only had two relationships, which one are you referring to? Oh. Okay. I don't think I was ready for either one. I just think, like, I was... I thought I was ready, but I don't think I was. You don't look like a relationship person now, based on what you said. I'm not. Yeah. I'm not.
I'm not, but it just doesn't work. But I think now though, I mean, it sounds like you guys usually just want to fuck around until like 25. Oh yeah. Yeah. But my plan is to freaking like be the bachelor uncle until like I'm 60 or something and then die on an island full of cocaine and burps. That's the plan. That's life. That's the dream.
But no, I'm just saying right now, I don't think I was ready looking back, but I feel like now I would be... I think I've matured enough to understand the different perspectives.
when it comes to going to see me. Like the professional girl? Yeah, yeah, for sure. And then just like understand like, hey, okay, if she wants to, again, like I feel like in the future now, if she wants me to meet the parents, for example, and I'll feel like, oh yeah, it's going really fast, I'll actually like let her know now. Or for example, if the girl wants to, I don't know, like,
basically do not have sex until the very end. But if I really like her, I'll be like, you know what, fine. Whatever, it's fine. So what would be your ideal timeline now if you're... Like now? But you're saying you're not looking for anything serious. I'm not really, really, not really. But if the girl wants it serious... If the girl wants it serious and I actually like her, and I'm like, hey, I can kind of see us together.
I would be down. Yeah. I just have a, I just got a, like a psychic feeling that you're not going to be in a long-term relationship in the next few years. I mean,
I hate to see you break up with a gay dude. Sorry to jinx your... Maybe that's a blessing. It makes sense. I can see that too. I don't even take it as a, like, you know... Insult. It's a blessing. Is it really a blessing? I think... Is it? Ask yourself. I don't mind it. I don't really care. I don't care enough about it. I think it's good though because I'm very picky.
So maybe it's good that in that way. So yeah, I'm very picky with girls so maybe it is good that most of them will dump me after six months. I can kind of see that it's gonna be like me. The pattern of your life? Yeah, the pattern like the honestly the pattern is... Do you feel like you would be the one that's kind of trying to slow down? Uh not really I feel like I mean
I would definitely try to make sure we are on the same level of
Where we are does that answer your question? What was I asking? I don't remember. The timeline. You asked for my timeline. Yeah, I guess. Yeah. I don't have a... Yeah, it's very vague. Yeah. Yeah, but you also answered it yourself. You said like the timeline. I'll just get... Yeah. I'll get dumped in six months or something. That's the timeline. It's not like you're getting dumped. It's like you are passively aggressively trying to get dumped. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know. Like I know how to...
Whatever. Yeah. Okay, you know what? I don't have the... Okay, I'll admit, I don't have the balls to dump a girl. Yeah, you don't want to be the bad guy. It's not even... No, I feel like even if I get dumped, I will be the bad guy. Okay. Yeah. Like, I know for the fact, because I'm, like, dragging it.
Yeah, you're just dragging it out, right? Yeah, I'm just dragging it out. It's just like the whole process. That's awful. Yeah, yeah. So immature. I know, I know, I know. I do. Yeah, it's just me, just me. I know I need to work on that, but it's fine, it's fine.
Based on what we talked about, it doesn't seem like you're looking for anything for the long term. Yeah, but also I feel like most of the guys are like that. Yeah, that's true. That's what I expect too. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You're also a guy now in the heart, like deep in the heart. Yeah. I have become more guy-minded. Yeah. Okay. That is true. Are you happy?
Yeah, I think so. In general. Mostly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It sucks that I have to be, but like, I feel like it's the best place for me to be. So you feel like you have to be. Yes. Because guys are not aggressive enough for you.
No, I mean, I have to adjust my expectations and think in the same mentality. Yeah, like 99%. Oh god, man of trash is such a meme. I'm not saying that, you said it. No, no, no, I said it. Yeah, I know I said it. I like man of trash, man of trash, and I'm one of them. I don't think man of trash, but...
I think guys my age are just immature. It's the same thing. So you know what? Just like adjust your dating apps. Age. I do. Oh, you do? Yeah. Is it always older?
Most of the time. Sometimes I unselect, is this a deal breaker? Oh, God. First year versus fourth year is a big difference. Yeah, like, I don't... Yeah, like, I feel like if you're dating, like, a first year as a fourth year, you're literally babysitting. But, again, I can see why no senior girl would ever date me. Because, no, I was not, like, a baby, but I was definitely way more immature, like, to the
very alarming degree oh god looking back just cringing yeah I do cringe so much at your first year itself yeah I mean yeah you definitely did mature quite a lot since the last time I saw you but yeah oh thank you yeah
I didn't say it's good. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I don't need you to tell me if it's good. Wow, self-confidence! I like it! I do like it, wow. But yeah, I am very happy for you that you're at least so happy. And for you, I don't know if I see a difference. Really? I don't know. Wow. Yeah.
Wow. Am I not mental? We never really talk like this anyways. I think I matured just like, you know, a tiny bit. Like I went from a four-year-old to a six-year-old. I guess you did. I'm like, I don't want to. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that you matured a little bit. We'll see. We'll see. I think I definitely matured enough that I'll be, I'll not be a
a douchebag and actually end it next time. Yeah. It's kind of sad that I actually say, like, next time as it will definitely be a next time. I think it's good because I definitely think, like, how you act and how you, like,
For example, I would be very turned off if a guy is very immature in ways they end things or just very generally, even just like a few days and stuff. You can't really tell that if they're there yet mentally. Yeah. And so what you act like will attract people of the same maturity level. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sure. Yeah. So you're doing yourself a favor or not. Yeah. Yeah.
Oh god, it was just like, oh, you remind me of the girl that told me like... What? Because, yeah. Told you what? I met a couple of girls who were a little older than me, and they were the same age. Like, oh, yeah, you're so mature. I'm not saying you're immature, I'm just saying... No, no, the way they described it. They didn't say you're immature, but they're like implicitly making it obvious. Yeah. Um...
Am I saying you're immature? Wow. Running short of time, do you have any other questions? No, I'm good. How was the episode? I'll see. I have a question for you, though. Oh, one more? Yeah. I actually wanted to ask you about back in first year. Oh, sure. Um...
Did you find me attractive or did you stop finding me attractive? What do you mean stop finding you attractive? Because I heard from Bill and Josh...
about that and that I feel like that really made me like you a lot more because yeah okay yeah so I heard from that and I feel like that just like pumped me up a lot you're welcome you're welcome no no no I mean not that way I don't mean that I mean like it really gave me
Thoughts that like I would like you more Because of that Oh So it's not necessarily A good thing I'm just saying Sorry sorry sorry I thought you meant like Oh yeah it gave me self confidence To approach you I guess No okay Yeah I think I found you attractive But again it's like I don't
In terms of dating, for example, I thought... It's not just that... Yeah, for me, it's like, okay, I guess, like, looks are important, but I will not find... But definitely, I only have, like, very narrow perspective of, like, dating relationship and stuff. Yeah, for sure. Like, I'm just in general, like, for me, at least. Mm-hmm.
Looks are important, but then I wouldn't ask a person out just based on their looks. That's why I think the freaking dating apps are bad for me. Because it's very hard for me. I don't text very well. And on top of that, the only thing I can see is just their pictures, right? Yeah.
So for me, usually it's like I have to actually get to know a person a little bit before I can actually start dating them. Yeah, but anyways, I found you extremely attractive. Yeah, I have a huge crush on you. Oh, thank you. It really flatters me. Thank you so very much. It's good to tell you. Yeah, yeah. Actually, like...
Sorry, just like as a side story. Yeah, don't go too much off. Don't tell another long story. Just like... Yeah, I'll just... Be brief. Two minutes. So this girl liked me in high school. And she told me like a year later too about it. And then I was on a call with her and she was with her cousin. And...
And the cousin was looking at the picture that this girl was, like, at the guy that she was looking, that she liked currently. So, like, another guy, the next guy. And he was very similar to me, like, very similar. I never liked anyone like you before. No, but the thing is, she was, like, saying how I look better. And I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm OG. And I'm just like, fucking, oh, yeah. Ugh.
Okay. She found a knockoff. Yes, exactly. I guess, maybe. Wow, okay. Thank you so much for not hyping me up or trying to
So do you find me attractive now? Now? Yeah, for sure. Like, I think... Thank you. Your character definitely changed a little. A lot. Yeah, and it's different. But it's as long as I feel like... As you're happy, and you actually know what you want. That's what you said at the very start. As long as you're happy. Oh!
No, no, no, no, not in that sense. Not in that sense. In the sense that it's more attractive for anyone when they are, like when a person actually is confident in themselves, know what they want and are happy with who they are. So those three things, that's very attractive as a personality trait. And I'm very happy that you have them now. Thank you. Wow, what a positive ending. Yeah, positive note. I'll stop the recording for now. Thank you.
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