Ange's attacking tactics gift Liverpool an early Christmas present
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Whether you're looking to sell your car right now or just whenever feels right, go to Carvana.com and sell your car the convenient way. Terms and conditions apply. Hello everybody and happy Christmas. Ian and Chris here for your final It's All Kicking Off. Or should I say the first It's All Kicking Off of the festive season. Christmas doesn't start for me, Chris, until we get to Christmas Eve and that, so I think we're here now. And I'm

Anyone who's watching this on the socials will notice that we've got some friends with us. Chris has got his Christmas jumper on. I've got my elves hugging my microphone. That's my nod to the festive season. Brilliant football yesterday, Chris. I know you're under the weather. I know you've got a bit of man fluke.

So I know that your enthusiasm levels might be slightly less. Yes, I'm enthusiastic. Oh, you work enough. You say brilliant football. I was at Tanner Dice for Dundee United nil, Celtic nil in Gale Force wins. Yeah, but I bet the atmosphere was good.

But then on the way back, I did watch the Tottenham-Liverpool game. What a game. What entertainment. What a shambles. That's what I will say, but we'll get on to that. Anyway, yes, but entertainment, absolutely. What's that stat that I was saving up? I might as well get it out there now. Last three Tottenham games at home, 23-0.

Sadly, Franz Bostekoglu and his team, too many of them in the wrong net. But we'll get to that in a minute. I was at that game. Liverpool absolutely rampant. Still waiting for that blip that I predicted a while ago. Yes, yes.

Anyway, Chris, glad to see you smiling now. When we logged on this morning, I did worry for you a little bit. You spent the first 10 minutes of our preamble with your head in your hands, but you've got yourself off the canvas and you can give us 45 minutes of your best before you go and get a Lemsip and maybe have a lie down. Yeah, great weekend of football. The most amazing score of the weekend, Chris, was 25 to 7. Any idea what I'm talking about?

Oh, you've thrown me there. 25 to 7. Well, that sounds like a rugby match. No, that's the aggregate score of away goals against home goals in the Premier League this weekend. Wow. 25 to 7. Who told you that? I worked it all out yesterday before kick-off at the Tottenham Stadium, at which point it was 19-4.

Only one home win in the Premier League this weekend. Aston Villa, of course, beating Pep Guardiola's beleaguered Manchester City. So there you go. Away goals versus home goals in the Premier League. 25 against 7. I would love to know if that's a record. Maybe somebody out there can let

as no. One of those big away wins was Bournemouth winning at Man Utd 3-0, just like they did last year. Some people say that's not a surprise. I still think so. When a Man Utd team lose at home, it's always newsworthy, and we'll get to that in a while. Two new managers making a mark in the Premier League over the weekend. Chris at Southampton, the Croat Ivan Durek

slid into place almost unnoticed and got a clean sheet at Fulham without even leaving the director's box. That was nil-nil, but that was also only Southampton's second clean sheet since winning the playoff final in the championship last May. And the Wolves manager I was slagging off last week, Vita Pereira, has started with a 3-0 win.

At Leicester. Mind you, we did get it right about Ruud van Nistelrooy and his dodgy Leicester defence. How about this for a stat? Leicester have conceded 82 shots in four games under Ruud van Nistelrooy. And yesterday at the King Power, the home fans were lampooning the Leicester goalkeeper, Danny Ward. Sarcastic cheers won't help him, said van Nistelrooy. And he's absolutely right, mate.

Oh, yeah, absolutely. I wasn't aware that Danny Ward was in goal, actually. Yeah, he put him in. Yeah, he changed his keeper and put him in. He had a bit of a nightmare. Yeah, but nothing surprises me with Leicester because they're one of those, you know, I always say promoted teams, it's always difficult to get a foothold in the Premier League. And looking at them defensively, I think that that's been an issue all season.

They're too heavily reliant on Jamie Vardy. But the whole unsavoury change of manager and Steve Cooper and the Leicester fans wanted him out and they want a change. That didn't sit right with me. And I think that they're in a bit of bother, Leicester.

Yeah, the thing is, when you get a new manager in, it's not easy. A new manager arrives normally 90% of the time because the other guy's got sacked. And if the other guy's got sacked, that means there's a problem. So no, it's never easy for a new manager. But equally, I think you look at Ruben Ambrin, who we'll get to in a little bit, and Man United. I mean...

look, their results aren't exactly fabulous, but you do see a little more organisation under Amram than you did under Eric Ten Hag. All that chaos of Ten Hag has gone. So you do expect a bit of a change. And you watched Leicester play yesterday against a Wolves side who were second bottom at the start of the day. And they looked utterly disorganised. Utterly disorganised defensively, arguing with each other. The crowd were on their backs.

And you kind of look at it and think, blimey, you might as well have stuck with Steve Cooper. Absolutely. They think they're better than what they actually are. And that's Leicester's issue. Yeah, there's a smell of it. I'm going to Leicester actually on... Let me get this right. I'm going to Leicester on Boxing Day. They're at home to Manchester City, so I'll have a look at them then. But yeah, there is a bit of a bad smell about that club at the moment in lots of different ways. So, without a doubt, the big...

Big result of the weekend. I mean, Liverpool 6, Tottenham 3. That should be the other way around. Tottenham 3, Liverpool 6. Yeah, I was there. And I've got to say, I mean, at 5-1, after 60 minutes, I'm sitting there thinking,

this could be 7-8-9 and that sounds silly because you never get 9 in the Premier League or hardly ever a couple of times it's happened but I'm sitting there thinking blimey this could be 7-8-9 didn't happen Tottenham are Tottenham it's like Tottenham must be the only team in the world who can play like that

essentially get a hiding, but still have their fans believing in the last five minutes when all of a sudden they get two goals out of nowhere. Anyway, just sum it up for me, Chris. I think first of all, we should maybe give a nod to Arne Slott's Liverpool. I mean, what a performance, what a first half of the season. You've mentioned the scoreline. It could have been double figures. That's the truth. And had Liverpool been really clinical players,

then, I mean, blimey, the score could have been anything. But, you know, I've defended Ange Postakoglu a lot, but yesterday, I've got to say it...

It surprised me, the fact that he wanted to go toe-to-toe with Liverpool with a depleted team, which it was. And, you know, he made the point after the game that he had key players missing. And I take all those points. But then is that not where you sort of have to adapt a bit? And, you know, you can...

maybe uh um sort of sit a little bit deeper in a in a low block and shove your two central midfielders screening the two center halves dragoosin um and and gray and you know crazy young boy dragoosin was um uh you know he's an aggressive center half but some of his decision making was you know was terrible but postacoglu won't compromise and you know he's stubborn uh and he says he'll carry on um

But, you know, going toe-to-toe with the Liverpool team in that form and the form they've been in this season, it wasn't a great surprise to me that Liverpool tore them to shreds. And I don't know whether that was a surprise to you with the nature of the Tottenham team, even had they had their strongest XI out. Yeah, I mean, there are mitigating circumstances for Tottenham. I think Postacoglu panicked.

parrots that line too often um other players have injuries manchester city have a lot of injuries but we're still getting stuck into pep guardiola it's rare to get to this time of the year without problems i did feel sorry for archie gray a teenage midfield player who can play at fullback he's been asked to play at center half and he's got to play against that forward line i do feel sorry for him jed spence up against mo seller actually did okay on the hole but

but it's not okay to do okay against most salaries in that kind of form. You've got to be elite. And Jess Spence has hardly played a minute of Premier League football since she arrived at the club 18 months or so ago. So it's very, very difficult. I did think that...

After half an hour, when Liverpool scored their second goal, I did turn to my colleague Adam Mattel and say, I think that's the best half an hour I've seen Liverpool have this season. You know, however open and vulnerable the opposition are, you've still got to play. You're still away from home. It's Christmas. Everybody's coming off the back of a lot of fixtures. They were so, and I hate saying this because it's a bit cheap,

and we've got to move on. But there was a lot of Jurgen Klopp about that performance. There was the energy from the players. At Tottenham, at the press box, you sit quite low down. Not as low down as you used to sit at the old White Hart Lane when you used to feel like you were almost on the field. But you do sit quite low down at the Tottenham Stadium. You get an idea of the energy and of the cut and thrust of a game. And Liverpool were at

Absolutely at it. Every time Tottenham had the ball, they were pressed and pressed and pressed to within an inch of their lives. And it got to the point where Tottenham just looked stressed. And I'm talking about after half an hour, Tottenham looked stressed. They looked under pressure. They looked anxious. And that was partly because of their run of form and results, but it's largely because of the way that Liverpool made games.

them feel Salah looks like he's 22 and not 32 seriously what a performance get the contract done Zobazlai powerful didn't he he's running yeah just looked like he could go forever and the hunger in a player like that was fabulous Trent Alexander-Arnold there's lots awful lot of chat about him

looked as though he was playing for a new contract rather than playing what we all feel might be the last six months of his time at Liverpool. Joe Gomez, a player who's had problems at the start of the season, probably fourth choice centre-half between Van Dijk, Canarte and Kwanzaa. Canarte is now injured. Gomez has got himself ahead of Kwanzaa. I could go on. It was a

a perfect team performance until they shipped those two late goals. And I was quite glad to see that Arnish Lott was a bit grumpy about that, accusing him of stopping running in the last five minutes. Sorry, I've talked for a long time there, but there was a lot more to say about Liverpool. You like the sound of your own voice. I think Liverpool looked really down.

powerful and that was a real noticeable difference and Ange Postekoglu will point to the fact they've had a lot of games and you've mentioned that they have a lot of injuries Liverpool able to make seven changes from their League Cup victory against Southampton but that shows strength and depth but it was just I mean they absolutely obliterated

Tottenham and it was it really was one of the biggest mismatches I think I have seen in a long time I did think that when I saw the teams and like you say quite rightly Liverpool make seven changes from their League Cup team Tottenham can't make Anfields he can't make any

And you know what, mate? Those energy levels, the difference in energy levels were absolutely apparent right from the start. Do you know, just quickly, do you know what I thought was the biggest moment in the game? Tottenham get back to 2-1. Madison, good finish. It didn't deserve it. It could have been 4-5, whatever, at that stage.

But then to not see it through to halftime at 2-1, I think Dragoosin again went in to win ahead, got it horribly wrong. You cannot defend like that. You cannot take that risk unless you're 100% certain you're going to win the header. And then that did for them.

them so they're you know they're in they're in a situation where uh you know they get themselves back it back in a little bit uh undeservedly so really and you think blimey you know they'll go in halftime boyd and then that that lapse i mean that was that was suicidal it really was

They do look like an anxious team. Fraser Forster, of course, the goalkeeper who had those two dreadful moments against United in the Cowboy Cup, started the game yesterday by passing the ball straight to Mo Salah. And I was watching it again, got away with it as it happened, but I was watching it again on Matchday last night. And you actually see Forster's shoulders slump as soon as he does it. Instead of thinking, oh, I've made a mistake. I need to be on my toes.

his shoulders slump as soon as he's done it, almost as though he was expecting it. And I get a little feeling that that kind of, that sense of worry and lack of confidence is running through that Spurs team. And the fixtures are, well, it could be easier, Forest away, high-flying Forest away, their next game, and then Wolves and Newcastle at home in the Premier League before they go to Arsenal.

I mean, goodness, you feel like they need to get something out of the Wolves in Newcastle game. So there we go. It was, look, and as Pastor Coghley said after the game against United last Thursday, were you not entertained? Well, we were entertained that night and we were entertained again yesterday off the Seven Sisters Road. But Tottenham can't keep playing that way. Liverpool will hope not.

that they can. We mentioned it at the top of the show, the only home win of the weekend came at Villa Park, the first game of the weekend, Saturday lunchtime, Villa beat Manchester City 2-1. Manchester City are getting worse. There is no doubt about that. One winning 12 now for Pep Guardiola's team. Their title race is absolutely done.

done some shocking signs and we talk about brewing signs in the Tottenham team those similar signs exist at City as strange as it is to say far too easy to play through good players nowhere near it other good players on the bench not trusted by the manager that to me looks like a problem that's going to get worse before it gets better but what I want to talk about Chris is

City, you know, Villa had many good players on the day, but Morgan Rogers definitely stood out. The Villa midfield player, England capped now, of course, and

A City old boy, Rodgers, one of many players knocking about in the Premier League who either started their careers at City or passed through. Rodgers is one of them. He was 17 when he joined them. He's actually from West Brom. It's West Brom who found him, came through their ranks. 17 when he joined them. And he left without playing. He left 18 months ago and now looks at the age of 22 like an absolute superstar.

Yeah, he's been brilliant this season, hasn't he, for Aston Villa. And, I mean, you could say he came back to haunt his old club. But, you know, it is interesting and there will be those out there who, you know, see that, you know, he was once of Manchester City. He's in the form that he's in. Look at the decline that Manchester City are in and thinking, well...

Why didn't they hang on to him? But he's one of many, and Cole Palmer being the one that everybody talks about. And Manchester City fans, they're quite stubborn with this. I've had many a debate with a Manchester City fan about

You know, they've got egg on the face over Cole Palmer, but they'll say, no, Pep was right to let him go to Chelsea. And I understand hindsight, you know, it's a wonderful thing. And, you know, it's after the event. But when you look at the decline of the Manchester City team,

The age or the ageing players within that team, people can't tell me that Cole Palmer letting him go to Chelsea wasn't a mistake. It absolutely was. I think we will accept that. I don't think there's really a cogent argument that could be presented for

for an alternative view. It was a mistake. It felt like a mistake last season. It really feels like a mistake this season. I don't really think there's any point getting deep into that one. But this is interesting. So our producer, Henry, got his finger out on Sunday and put together a Manchester City, well, put together a 1-11 of players who were doing well in Europe

who have either began their time as Man City Academy players or at least passed through the club and were sold on. And very quickly, this is our team. This is Henry's team. In goal, James Trafford of Burnley. Burnley's in Europe, yep. Yeah.

Across the defence, Jeremy Fringpong of Leverkusen, Tosin Adebayaro of Chelsea, Taylor Harwood-Bellis, Southampton and England central defender, Angelino, very talented left-back playing at Roma. In the midfield, Romeo Lavia of Chelsea, Cole Palmer of Chelsea, Jamie Gittins, who's tearing it up at Dortmund, Morgan Rodgers, who we've mentioned at Villa, Jadon Sancho,

Chelsea and up front of course a player who's risen to prominence this season Liam de Lappe of Ipswich. According to the transfer market website which tends to be quite accurate with these things that 1-11 has a current approximate market value of 360 million pounds. Without a doubt City could do with a couple of those players right now. Does that mean

that they've buggered this up? Yes, absolutely. It doesn't matter how much they cost. It's about their value. Well, it probably does, but...

But you look at the Manchester City team and they do seem to be a team in decline and need of a bit of a spark and maybe a bit of youthful energy. And some of the players in there, I mean, most of the players in there are super, super talented. I suppose you can question...

you know, Manchester City's planning. But, you know, on the flip side of that, the fact that they have been so successful in previous seasons, four Premier Leagues on the spin, winning a Champions League and players, you know, at the very top of the game, Gundogan, De Bruyne, Bernardo Silva, winning the big trophies. But, you know, these are, I think that they're four players

I mentioned, I think that they are coming to the end and these are young players, the list you reeled off, young outstanding players who are just starting off. So I think, you know, even Pep would look at that and think, blimey, we could do with a fair few of them at this moment in time. Well, I

I think there are two separate points here. Given the City's current situation, yes, without a doubt, they probably could do with a couple of those players. But I don't think that means that City have messed this up. I actually don't. I think this is proof of the academy system at work.

and this is the way that it should work, the academy system in this country, the development and the identification and development of very, very good players who either go on to play for the club who put the work and time and money into them or don't quite make that level and go on and serve the pyramid so

somewhere else and that is exactly what has happened here there will always be mistakes okay there will always be mistakes we identify too many there though we identify that cole palmer is a mistake okay

Let's look at another. Let's look at Romero Lavia, okay, just as an example. I looked at this last night. Again, he wasn't one of City's or Izzy. He joined them at 16, I think from Anderlecht. Joined them at 16 and left at the age of 18 for £13 million with a 20% sell-on. He went to Southampton where he played in a relegation team.

they went down and he was sold to Chelsea Liverpool were interested as well for 53 million pounds so City by my maths would get 10 million pounds of that as well as the 13 million that they got when they sold him in the first place so there's 23 million pounds so that's profit

on a kid of around about £25 million, which is more than they paid for a player like Manuel Akanji, a central defender, who went on to win a treble for them. So to City, that would be a way of...

turning round and the fact is that if Lavia was allowed to go at 18 and he went to Southampton okay didn't go to Chelsea straight away or to Liverpool he went to Southampton played in the team that went down what's the City supposed to do at that point he's not getting in their team okay because they've got this holding midfield player called Rodri who now happens to be the yeah he's quite good yeah

So what are they expected to do with a player like Lavia? Just tell him to sit around on his backside for two years and wait, send him out on endless loans or think to themselves, we're not quite sure that he's going to make it

at the level that we want, which is the elite level, to win things like a treble. So we're going to sell him. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. And the fact that he subsequently matured and developed and turned into a very, very good player. Let's not get carried away. He's not won anything yet with Chelsea. The fact he's gone on and turned into a very good player

I don't think there's anything, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. But they are judgment calls, aren't they? So I do understand what you say, but you're reading some of the names off that list, Palmer being one,

You know, Lavia being another, Sancho, you know. Morgan Rodgers. Morgan Rodgers. And I do think it is fair, though, on the flip side of what you said. And I understand what you say. On the flip side of what you say, just to think, well, maybe they just let them go a little bit.

Too early. But you can't keep them forever, Chris. Because A, you've got to make a decision. No, you have to make a decision. But on the other side of that, these things can always come back to haunt you. And these are judgment calls. But the nature of how Palmer Rogers have developed...

At this moment in time, Manchester City would have to hold their hands up and say, well, we probably got those wrong. But how do you keep them while they develop? They kept Foden. They kept Phil Foden. Yeah, so you can keep some. So that's what you do. And Palmer was a mistake. They should have kept Palmer. You try and keep the two or three that you are convinced are the ones. I'm not saying it's easy. Of course it's not easy, especially when you're winning titles.

Nah, not quite. What's up? Sell my car in Carvana. It's just not quite the right time. Crazy coincidence. I just sold my car to Carvana. What? I told you about it two days ago. When you know, you know. You know? I'm even dropping it off at one of those sweet car vending machines and getting paid today. That's a good deal. Great deal. Come on. What's your heart saying? You're right. When you know, you know.

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We have had a couple of interesting comments, Chris. Actually, we've got one here from Christian Tonnies on Spotify who says, great pod as always, chaps. Ian, it's about time you get onto blue sky and leave X alone. Nice to see Krista already take the hint, Ian. That's from a Forest fan. Christian must be absolutely on top of the mood. You stick to X, whereas a bit nastier.

I keep meaning to get over to blue sky. It's on a long list of things that I need to do, mate. But sadly, you've got a secretary, haven't you? It's nowhere near the top. Charlie 67 on Spotify says, I will give Chris a money on the quiz. So here we are. I've been putting it off all week. I'm trying not to think about it. I said, it wasn't going to do it, but the end of the day, I'm not in charge of this podcast as much as you might think. I am Chris Henry's in charge of,

and he wants to do a quiz. So here we go. Let's do our Christmas quiz. Very exciting. Come on, get on with it. Come on, Ian. Ian, you've got to be better than that. We did this in the Euros and you started off in the same manner, but in the end you ended up loving it, didn't you? Chris, the one thing that is making me smile about this, I'm now really, really happy that at last everyone can just hear how posh

Henry actually is the poshest Arsenal fan since now trying to think of a posh Arsenal fan there must be one out there I don't think there is one Colin Firth maybe Colin Firth he does fever pitch he could count maybe

Maybe Keir Starmer. He loves getting political in this podcast. It's great. Let's crack on with these bollocks. Come on. Right then. Right then. Just to give everyone an idea of how it's going to work. We've got 12 questions because of the 12 days of Christmas. So six questions each. Half of them are going to be about Christmas Premier League slash football at Christmastime.

and the other half's going to be about Christmas itself. If you get it wrong, the other person has the chance to steal it. If you're giving Chris the heads up on this, Chris, does he know all the questions? He does, doesn't he? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Completely neutral. There's no way in the world you are going to allow former Premier League winner, Golden Boot winner, blah, all kinds of useless... He's just one of life's winners. Pots and pans from Celtic winner come out second to some jobbing journalist from Wigan. Well, why do you say it sounds like you're nervous?

Sounds like you're nervous. Let's just get on with it. Come on.

I feel like I should be doing my ring walk now.

Right then, okay, the first question is going to go to Chris. In the 1992-93 season, which team was top of the Premier League at Christmas? I think that that's Norwich City. Do you? Is that your final answer? Henry, yes, final answer.

It's correct. Excellent answer. Well done. That is a brilliant answer. Okay, you've got to ask me those questions about rugby league, though. Right then. Norwich City. Little Norwich City. Lucky little Norwich City. Right then. Ian. Just give him the points. Who scored England's first goal in the 2022 World Cup on November 21st just as Christmas celebrations were starting to kick off?

I was at that game and I'm going to say, and this isn't right, but I'm going to say Harry Kane. It's not right, so Chris, you can steal this. Jude Bellingham. Correct. Well done. I'm just taking a... Hang on a minute. Just let your elves answer. Yeah, it's Jude Bellingham. Sack of school, the next two. I can't remember who they were playing.

Iran. Right then. Rocky Santa Cruz shares his name with Father Christmas, but which manager signed him for Manchester City in 2009? I know this. He's piling the pressure on there. He's piling the pressure on there. You can actually work it out, Chris. I can't work it out. Will you shut up? I do actually know this. Can I answer now?

You can't, yeah. I'll give Chris another 10 seconds. 2009. Would that have been... Five seconds. It wouldn't have been Mangini, would it? No, wrong. Ian? He was signed, erroneously as it happens, by his former Blackburn manager, Mark Hughes.

Correct. Which is why you could have worked it out. Well done, Ian. Well done. You a bit happier now? Ian. Hello. In which decade was a Christmas Day game last played in England? That's a good question.

That's a good question. And I'm going to guess because I haven't got a clue. But it certainly hasn't been in my lifetime. I'm going to say in the 1950s. Oh, close. 1960s. Get that right up you, lady man. Get it right up you.

Was it 1960s, 1965 was it? Yeah, it was. That's brilliant knowledge. Hang on a minute. Why do you keep looking down? I'm not looking down. Why do you keep looking down? I've not sent him anything. I've not sent him anything. Chris Hyde. How do you know that? Because I heard it the other week. I mean, because, you know, I've watched the news. Yeah, from Henry. Come on.

Move on. Right. Good answer. Which player... So this question is for Chris. Which player scored the most goals on Boxing Day in the Premier League? Oh, that's ridiculous. Whatever. In the Premier League. Most Boxing Day goals. Who has the most Boxing Day goals in the Premier League? Whatever. The Premier League era. That's a very loose question, isn't it? It's not. It's a number. The player and then a number. No. Alan Shearer.

No. Harry Kane with 10. Oh, I was going to say Harry Kane. Come on, guys. You are better than that. I'm disappointed with that one. All right, Ian. Chris didn't have time to get to his Google to do that one like he did with his 1965 one. Which team was the last team to avoid relegation despite being bottom of the league at Christmas? These questions are darn good. No. Chris?

Wow. Which team? Say that again. Which team? Which team was the last team to avoid relegation despite being bottom of the league at Christmas? West Ham. No, it's Wolves. Do I get half a point because it began with a W? Right, we've finished the football ones. Now we're moving on to the normal questions. How did I get one?

Right, so the scores of the doors are one, two, three to Chris, two to Ian. One, three, one. Two. No, hang on. No, three, one, three, one. Sorry, three, one. Did you notice my innate honesty coming through there? I respect that. As soon as he said two, I said, no, I've only got one. I know I've got one. I'm very happy to have one. Okay, Ian. Hello. Which popular Christmas song begins with the lyrics, you better watch out, you better not cry?

Santa Claus is coming to town. I've got a five-year-old. I've been singing it every day since the start of October. Right, that's a brilliant answer. Right, Chris, in the movie Home Alone, where are the McAllisters going on holiday when they leave their son Kevin behind? I'll tell you what, what you see the other day, they're going to Paris, Henry. They are going to Paris. That's where the McAllisters are going, Henry. They are going to Paris. They're going to Paris, Paris. Did anybody...

Did anybody hear Glenn Murray's McAllister reference on Matchday 2 on Sunday night? Absolutely fabulous. He said of Alexis McAllister as he scored the goal, the second Liverpool goal, he's not the only McAllister to have been left alone at Christmas. It was a brilliant line. Very good. A brilliant line. And unlike you, Chris, I think it was spontaneous. I don't think he had it written down. Anyway.

Right then. So this is for you, Ian. A bit of a change in tone for this one. According to the Bible, which king tried to kill baby Jesus? Oh, come on. That's easy. I know, but I think I'm going to get it wrong. Herod. Herod.

Correct. I was going to say Heron. That's not a question for a five-year-old to let him back in. I was going to say Heron, but then I suddenly had images of him being taken away by a giant bird. What run now, by the way? What's the scores now? 4-3. I'll tally them all up at the end. You can't do two things at once.

You don't know the score? I've got them, I'm just focusing on the next question. Give us a second. Don't challenge the quiz master. Chris, in the 2006 movie The Holiday, which two actresses swap homes for Christmas? Oh my God, I know it. Chris, you better get this or I know it. I don't know. I've not seen the film. That is Kate Winslet. I'm going to go Kate Winslet. Hang on a minute. You said you didn't know it. No, but I was going to have a guess at Kate Winslet.

Well, it doesn't matter the other one. I don't know the other one. You don't know either of them. No, Kate Winslet. So, Henry, I'm going to have a guess at Kate Winslet. I don't know the other one. I don't know the other one, but Kate Winslet. Okay, so that is wrong then because you haven't got any two for the right answer. Yeah, Ian gets that. I've watched that about nine times and on none of those nine occasions has it been my choice. Okay, this is the... What's the score? It's a good film. 4-4.

Jude Law, Jack White. Anyone else? Do I get bonus points? Jack Black, not Jack White. Let me count the scores, two seconds. Four, four. Oh, he loves it now. Look at the little elves. It is four, four. Private school education doesn't involve mathematics, clearly. No, just count them. Chris, you're feeling nervous now. This is incredible. Right, Ian. How many questions left? Two.

- What, one each? - One each. - One each? Oh my God, this is it. - Look how nervous he looks. - He's shitting himself. - Ian, which country is Lap landing? - Oh, he went last year. - That's why I've asked you, Ian. - Greenland. - He went last year. - What an absolute clown. What an absolute clown. Oh my God.

It is not, it is not Greenland. That's unfair. He went last year. It's not unfair. It's not unfair, Chris. It's Finland, Henry. It is Finland. Well played, well played. So, so his first question that he gets is an answer, is an answer about Norwich City. And then he gets one about...

i asked you about a game that you were i asked you about a game that you were at in uh in 2022 you should have got that right games i've been through in my career anyway anyway have you been to greenland i'm just disappointed with the nature of the questions chris chris and the final question if you get this right you win if you get it wrong we're gonna have to find something where i'm doing a penalty shootout in the 12 days of christmas

How many pipers are piping? Nobody knows all this stuff. How long have I been on? We'll give you seven seconds. I do know it. Eleven pipers piping. Eleven. Eleven pipers piping. Eleven pipers piping. Eleven pipers piping. Eleven pipers piping.

Is that your final answer? That's my final answer. That is not your final answer. That's my final answer. Chris, you're the winner of the quiz this year. Congratulations. Well played. He's so happy. So happy. So you gave him a Norwich question. You gave him a Panto question. I gave you the Lapland question. I'm sorry. Knowing that I've never been there and knowing that he has been there. I didn't know. Well played, everyone. Well done. Well done. Well played, me.

Henry, I think the lesson to be learned from that quiz is next year, let's just do the Christmas questions and not the football questions. Right, let's get back to the podcast. Chris, I'm absolutely delighted for you that you've won that. That's the first thing you've won since you lifted the Bloomingley Cup in a two-horse race in Scotland back in... Oh.

Oh, wow. Anyway, well done. I'm delighted for you, as you can tell. And let's talk quickly now because that quiz took quite a bit longer than we thought. But let's face it, I enjoyed it more than I thought as well. Well done, Henry. See you again next year. And just make sure you send me the questions in advance next time round. Look, another team who don't look like they're going to win much this season, Manchester United. Chris, let's whip into this quickly. I was in the...

press room at Tottenham on Sunday when the score from United was feeding through. My colleague, Adam Patel, walked in much younger than me, much, much younger than me, and I told him the score. He just shrugged and said, well, I wouldn't have expected anything else. That's the way that it is these days. And I was like, that's really interesting because to me, when my United lose at home, it's still a really big deal. But for people who've been kind of growing up watching them struggle, it's not.

I'm sort of terrible at my predictions, Ian. But I was at Old Trafford last season when Bournemouth beat them three last season at Old Trafford. Bournemouth have improved this season. Manchester United have regressed. That's not on Ruben Amorim. So going into this game, Bournemouth are a team, they create a hell of a lot of chances. So probably the nature of the result, 3-0, I didn't think it would be that many. I think I went for a 2-1.

But I don't think that's any great surprise that Manchester United are in a struggle. And it's going to be no surprise to me that, you know, for the rest of the season, Manchester United will struggle. Ruben Amram needs time, patience and windows and the ability to bring his own players in. That's it.

Seven points from his six league games. Ruben Amarin now, which is pretty similar average to the one that saw Eric Ten Hag get the touch. What did you expect? No, no, no. I'm just making the comparison. I'm not suggesting that there's anything much to read into that. But there hasn't been much of a bounce under Amarin. As I said at the top of the show, I think there's a bit more organisation about them. But they still cannot score goals against...

Their top scorers, United, Bruno Fernandes and Marcus Rashford, have four each in the Premier League. Brentford sit just a place above them. They've got players on 10 and 9. United have scored 21 goals in the Premier League. Wolves have scored 27. West Ham have scored more. And Leicester have scored the same. That tells you to a degree where the problems lie.

Rashford's on his way out, wasn't in the matchday squad again yesterday. Probably don't need to go into that. But I don't know where he gets the answer. Xerxe has looked slightly livelier since he arrived. Hoyland, slightly livelier since he arrived. But I don't see the answer. I don't see that out of that squad we're going to get to May and all of a sudden realise that one of them scored...

15 Premier League goals. I don't see that happening. And they haven't got an awful lot of money to spend. It's a real, I'm sure they'd like to spend in January, but I don't know where or how.

No, as I said, it's going to be a struggle and he chops and changes. Why does he chop and change? Because he's striving to find his best team and the best fit of players. Hoyland has never in his career been prolific. I always feel there's a player in there because he's a slightly different player.

But no, I think that as far as Manchester United are concerned, it's going to be a long season for them. And we can't jammer him until he brings his own players in. But if you're telling me there's not a lot of money to spend, then they're going to have to do some manoeuvring in the transfer market, aren't they?

aren't they? Right, Chris, let's get into our moments of the weekend. Do you want to go first or do you want me to do it? Yeah, well, I mean, you normally have eight, so I'll go first. Just Nottingham Forest, their whole story. What a start to the season, my boyhood club. We've got the whole world.

in our hands remember that can you remember that was that European Cup winning team 79-80 you sang that one yes Shilton, O'Neill Robertson and Gemmel and Frank Clark and all the rest of them on we go what a team what a team great to see my team

back doing well and I mean they could end up in a Champions League spot Ian at the end of the season I kind of refuse to believe it but they are in their best league position since 1987 back to the days of 1987 of Brian Clough and Claudia Schiffer was in the crowd as they beat Brentford what? I know as they beat Brentford

on Saturday in West London. Claudia Schiffer was in the crowd. I haven't seen an explanation as to why she was in the crowd. Oh, she's watching the football. Well, maybe she just heard, because we keep saying that Brentford is the most entertaining place in the country to go if you want to be entertained. Maybe she wanted a piece of that. So Claudia Schiffer was in the crowd, didn't go Brentford's way on this occasion. Yeah.

I have to say there was some brilliant goalkeeping in that game from Flecken and from the Forest to keep a match sales. And we haven't got time to get into this, but I do think the standard of goalkeeping in the Premier League at the moment is absolutely off the scale. There was a say... You gave Fraser Forster a kicking earlier.

It doesn't mean that people don't make mistakes. There was a fabulous save by Stefan Ortega in the City-Villa game as well. I do think Ortega should stay in now for City, by the way. I think Edison's performance in the Manchester derby probably made that decision for Pep Guardiola. But yeah, some entertainment at Brentford as usual. The game at...

I always get it wrong. London Stadium, West Ham Stadium. What do we call it these days? Yeah. Why don't I know? It's a good point. Anyway, West Ham. The game at West Ham, probably not quite as entertaining, but that won all against Brighton. That did...

contain my moment of the weekend. Mohamed Kouda scoring the goal for his team, for West Ham. What a celebration. We know that he's known now for kind of going and sitting down when he scores a goal. He sat on the hoardings before. He even sat down on the football. This time he managed to produce a stool, a little wooden stool that had a carved elephant. I can't believe I'm saying this. That had a carved elephant as its,

as its base. It turns out it's his own. And this is how he explained it. Where I come from, Ghana, that where I come from, the chiefs and the kings, they sit on stools. I thought it would be nice to share a little bit of culture from where I

I am from. So that's what it's all about. But there are still many questions left unanswered here. Where did it come from? Did he get it's best he made? Where does it live? What does he do before kickoff? Does he take it? Who looks after it? Does he take it down one end and say to a ball boy, look after my stool in case of score. And for the second half, I need you to take it

up the other end in case you score up there what happens if he doesn't score for a couple of months does he keep doing it does the ball boy think oh come on who knows this is getting embarrassing now for god's sake you're never going to score you know i can't keep looking after this bit of this precious bit of wood for you it's chucking it down when we're going to put it those are questions that need answering um footballers used to celebrate goals by shaking hands then they used to do training ground celebrations and now they're bringing carved

carved niceties from Africa to sit on when they score a goal. But I loved it. And I thought it was not just a moment of the weekend, but the photograph of the weekend. Very nice. Is that it? What are you going to say about that? Very nice. Very nice. From a bloke who scored many, many goals throughout his career, that's all you've got to say about that. I need a wee. You look like you wondered what was going on. You go banging on about a stool. I need a toilet. You go.

You've been moving around on that chair for the last four minutes. I did wonder what was coming up. You keep saying questions, how many questions? You're banging on all these questions. Yeah, come on. Talking of wheeze, when we went out for lunch last week in London, you must have gone to Loo about 15 times. Never seen a grown man like it. Right, you look incredibly uncomfortable and I'm going to let you go. I was going to do a nice extended happy Christmas message

for everybody but Chris needs a wee so he's going to go so I'll leave it for you Chris to say goodbye this time what have you got to say to all our listeners ahead of their Christmas celebrations we wish you a Merry Christmas we wish you a Merry Christmas we wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

Chris has left the building. He's off to one of his many bathrooms. It's all that's left for me to say is thank you for being with us again. I hope you enjoyed the quiz. Let us know if anybody got four marks. Let us know if anybody beat Chris. I couldn't manage to do it. I'm sure somebody out there did. Let us know. And also, we've covered a few things as usual. Give us your thoughts. Manchester United, City's Academy, Leicester,

Tottenham, Liverpool, et cetera, et cetera. Find us on the socials. As you know, I'm the one with the silly name and Chris is the one with the famous name. Hit us up on the email address. You know it. And when you go to Spotify or Apple, whoever it is, you get this podcast. Make sure you leave a rating in the review and hit that follow button.

Happy Christmas, everybody. We'll be back on Friday, I believe. No point doing a podcast on Thursday. There's too much football being played. It'd be out of date. It'd be out of date almost by the time we'd finished talking. But we'll be back this week. It will be Friday. We'll see you then. This has been It's All Kicking Off.