Relationship Titles & Societal Expectations Ft. Joli Hamilton
Girl Stop Talking
Deep Dive
What is Dr. Joli Hamilton's specialty in psychology?
Dr. Joli Hamilton specializes in jealousy and helps people transition from monogamous relationships to non-monogamy or polyamory.
Why did Dr. Joli Hamilton transition from monogamy to polyamory?
She transitioned after falling in love with someone outside her marriage who was in an open relationship, which led her to explore non-monogamy and eventually become a relationship coach.
What challenges do people face when opening their relationships?
People often face challenges like jealousy, lack of communication, and mismatched pacing between partners, where one is eager to explore while the other is reluctant.
What is the 'imaginal third' in the context of open relationships?
The 'imaginal third' refers to inviting a fantasy or imaginary third person into the bedroom to explore desires and boundaries without physical involvement, helping couples identify what works for them.
What is a 'fidelity agreement' in relationships?
A fidelity agreement is a clear, mutually understood set of rules or boundaries that define what constitutes cheating or acceptable behavior in a relationship, helping partners align their expectations.
What is the 'relationship escalator' concept?
The 'relationship escalator' refers to the societal expectation that relationships must follow a linear progression (dating, engagement, marriage, kids) without deviation, which can limit personal autonomy and creativity in relationships.
How does Dr. Joli Hamilton describe jealousy in relationships?
Jealousy is described as a warning system that signals a perceived threat to a valued connection. It can be healthy if used to reflect on trust and agreements, but becomes problematic when it leads to control or manipulation.
What is the difference between healthy and pathological jealousy?
Healthy jealousy prompts self-reflection and communication about relationship boundaries, while pathological jealousy stems from deep-seated trust issues, often leading to controlling or abusive behavior.
What advice does Dr. Joli Hamilton give for managing jealousy in relationships?
She advises learning to sit with jealousy, understanding its root causes, and negotiating with partners to create agreements that address underlying insecurities without restricting autonomy.
What is Dr. Joli Hamilton's approach to reconnecting after exploring non-monogamous experiences?
She recommends a two-part system: first, reconnecting through eye contact, communication, or physical intimacy to reaffirm the relationship, followed by a debrief to discuss what worked, what didn't, and whether to repeat the experience.
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