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cover of episode Rewind: Career Vs. Love

Rewind: Career Vs. Love

2025/6/21
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Dear Sugars
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C
Cheryl Strayed
L
Leslie Bell
S
Steve Almond
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Steve Almond: 我认为很多女性来信者都面临着事业和爱情之间的冲突。她们在一段幸福的恋爱关系中，但同时也有着特定的事业目标，这些目标在她们自己和外界看来，都使这段关系变得复杂和危险。我常常在想，为什么女性总是认为她们的职业目标不如恋爱关系重要？这种零和博弈的框架表明她们对是否能同时拥有事业和爱情感到矛盾。 Cheryl Strayed: 在我和Brian的关系中，我并没有遇到过事业和爱情的冲突，因为我们都是自由职业艺术家。但是，当我要去读研究生时，我必须问他是否愿意和我一起去。我很庆幸我没有被迫在事业和爱情之间做出选择。我认为“去或不去”的选择不一定是二元对立的。重要的是确定你们是否适合异地恋。无论做出什么决定，你们都必须一起做出，并且都必须对这个决定负责。重要的是，你们两个人要共同决定你们的关系。 Leslie Bell: 我认为在掌握所有信息之前做出决定是很困难的。人们对异地恋的经历各不相同。感觉好像只有女性需要独自做出决定。女性在处理恋爱关系时，常常感到好像一切都取决于她们自己。我希望她们清楚自己做出决定的原因，并尽可能清楚地了解情况和可能性。为什么要认为他的事业比你的更重要？为什么要优先考虑自己？

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This episode was originally released on April 13th, 2017.

You love your partner, you love your career... but they're pulling you in different directions. What do you do? Is it foolish to put your career on hold for the sake of your relationship? Or is it more foolish to give up a great relationship for the sake of your career? Or, is there a way to have both?

The Sugars discuss two letters from women in relatively new relationships who are having trouble deciding what to prioritize. They have help from psychotherapist and sociologist Leslie Bell, author of Hard to Get: 20-Something Women and the Paradox of Sexual Freedom.