Shownotes Transcript
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#1 ----文稿---- I had two roommates that kept eating all of my food. Although classes haven't started, I had already moved into my dorm. One day, I made myself a peanut butter sandwich. I put my sandwich on the table, and ten minutes later, it was gone. My roommate ate it. About a week later, I decided to make myself another peanut butter sandwich. I opened my cupboard and saw that my roommates left an empty jar in my cupboard. I flipped out because who eats a whole jar of peanut butter, without introducing themselves? These girls would scarf down all my food, and complain if they thought anyone was touching their food. So I started buying really fattening food such as doughnuts, pies, cakes. I was trying to teach them self-restraint, but these girls would go through these boxes within two days. So I kept buying doughnuts and desserts. And then one day they started complaining about how they couldn't fit their jeans. Success. I also put laxatives in my peanut butter.
----單字---- dorm 宿舍 cupboard 櫃子 flipped out 暴怒 scarf down 狼吞虎嚥 fattening 增肥 restraint 節制 laxatives 瀉藥
#2 ----文稿---- My roommate freshman year got completely hammered, came back to the room around 1 in the morning, and accused me of stealing the pudding in her fridge that she had ate an hour before she went out. She waited until I fell asleep and then stabbed me in the arm with one of those clicky pencils…I had to go to the hospital to get it cleaned/stitched. She got kicked out.
----單字---- freshman year 大一 hammered 嚴重酒醉 accused 指控 had ate 其實是錯的，應該是 had eaten。你有抓到嗎？XD stabbed 捅
#3 ----文稿---- I got absolutely hammered and pissed all over my roommates desk the night before the end of the year. I woke up to him hanging up his money to dry out. Years later he ended up as my boss and ended up giving me a significant promotion. I guess he doesn't hold grudges.
----單字---- pissed 尿尿 ended up 變成 significant 大、有份量的 promotion 升遷 hold a grudge 記仇
#4 ----文稿---- It was move out day and my roommate was working on a paper last minute. I was packing my stuff. His parents walked in and were absolutely pissed that he wasn't packed yet. They immediately started scolding him while I was still in the room, but thankfully I had a final to go to and figured I'd dodge the storm. I said my goodbyes, assuming they'd be gone by the time I got back from my two hour final and went on my way. As it happens, my final only took twenty minutes so I got back much sooner than they'd have expected. I opened the door, saw my roommate bent over his bed with his bare ass showing just as his mom wound up for a spank. I quickly closed the door and went over to a friend's dorm until I felt safe enough to return. I never brought it up to him after that.
----單字---- paper 這裡是指報告 scolding 責罵 dodge the storm 避風頭 assuming 假設、預設 bare 沒穿衣服的、光溜溜 wound up 準備做某個動作 spank 打巴掌 bring something up 提及某事
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