Grandad Things!
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This BBC podcast is supported by ads outside the UK. Hello, I'm Robin Ince. And I'm Brian Cox. And we would like to tell you about the new series of The Infinite Monkey Cage. We're going to have a planet off. Jupiter! Jupiter!

versus Saturn! It was very well done, that, because in the script it does say wrestling voice. After all of that, it's going to kind of chill out a bit and talk about ice. And also in this series we're discussing history of music, recording with Brian Eno, and looking at nature's shapes. So, listen wherever you get your podcasts.

Hello and welcome to Tuesday's Radio 1 All Day Breakfast podcast. This is Greg James. What a fun show. We think, by our reckoning, we had 39 different listener voices on today's breakfast show. 39!

I would be amazed if any other breakfast show in the land had more than 39 listener voices in the morning. Well, aren't we brilliant? The best. Yeah, the best. Sorry, the listeners are the best. But like 39 willing people to be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll talk on the radio before 10.30 in the morning. I take my hat off to you. Actually, I can actually take my hat off because I'm wearing a hat. So there you go. Not just any hat.

The hat I'm wearing is my Feathers McGraw hat. You know Feathers McGraw off Wallace and Gromit? Anyway, so today's show then. Let's get into it. Richard Hawley's just walking past. That's cool, isn't it? He's about to go and do a session in the live lounge for Lauren Laverne. Six. Six Music. Very, very cool man. I'm going to tell you how much I love Cole's Corner. It's a lovely song, that. Lovely album.

But I won't do that because that would be weird. Today's show then, we had all the latest things. We had yesterday's quiz, another person from the McLaren team. Plus, we celebrated grandad things. We also had a Pancake Day special edition of Thursday, which was Pancake Way. And there was one other bit as well, wasn't there? What was the other bit? It's not for that. It's not for that. In fact, let's start with the very start of today's show because it was egg-based. Fry.

Poached, boiled, battered. Egg chat, it's just egg chat. Oh, egg chat, it's just egg chat. It's egg chat day and it's a big day for eggs. It's pancake day.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. I wondered where that was going for a couple of seconds. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That's why I said batter. Oh, right. Yes. Very good. My heart is racing. We shouldn't be doing this sort of thing at 7am. No human should be.

But I feel it. Love Pancake Day. I do love Pancake Day. And it's a huge day for eggs. Yeah. If you're that way inclined. We were talking about the vegan alternative with producer Tom and it is, I think we just basically said he just has a fajita with courgettes in it. Is that what it was, basically? Basically. Yeah, that's probably the safest option. But for the rest of us... It's not quite the same, is it? Big day.

You need to get practising your flipping now, so you don't give your partner the ick later. You can't just attack it without any practice. In what other bit of your life does that work? Yeah, it's a bit dangerous just to go straight in there, isn't it? You've got to practise. If you're there in the kitchen going, I can't do it, that's because you haven't practised. Take Pancake Day seriously, please.

Later on today, I think we might do... You know we do Thursday? We might do Pancake Way. Okay. And we get people to shout out what they're going to have in their pancakes and who they're having them with. Would that be good? I think it's nice, isn't it? Yeah, I like some suggestions for that. Because you kind of get stuck in your ways with that, don't you, with the pancake toppings? You do. You need to broaden your horizons. Yeah. All right, so welcome to The Breakfast Show. I wanted to get your attention to start with, and I think that's been achieved. We'll come back to the pancakes a bit later on. And now...

let's talk about things you use in your house that you really shouldn't be using them for. This next game started because producer Amy's husband had been using the saucepan to make super candles. Where he'd been melting them. It really tickled me, this. He melts the ends of candles to make one giant candle. I don't know what he then does with it. Does he sell them? I don't know. I never asked.

Now, Amy didn't know about this and ended up eating waxy noodles when she next used the pan and basically shouted out in the kitchen, it's not for that. That's not, it's not for your super candles. So we started a round of it's not for that, for God's sake. Stop using the things wrong. Ellie, good morning. Good morning, Greg. Welcome to The Breakfast Show and welcome to It's Not For That. What have you got for me?

So from time to time, when I fake tan, I use my hockey stick as a mitt. But that's quite, I guess, yeah, I guess you can sort of get down. I'm just trying to do it. So I'm just trying to imagine. Because hockey sticks are quite long, aren't they? Yeah, it's like an over-the-shoulder kind of job thing. Oh, I see, over your back, like a loofer. Oh, no, no, no.

No, no, yeah. So over the back, the hard, difficult places to reach, I use the hockey stick. So you can, over your back, you can get your bum? Yeah, exactly. And then your lower... But are you also using it to get your lower ankle as well, around the front and all that? Are you doing that? I kind of bring my ankle up and do that. I feel like I can stand on one leg just enough. It's an artistic display, this is. Yeah, I bet it is. Do you live with anyone? No.

Say that again? Do you live with anybody? No, well, so this was mainly when I used to fake tan. It was in first year of uni.

And I feel like that's not the time you ask them to help them fake tan your back. No, no, no, no. Fair enough. I was just wondering if your friends knew that you were running off into your bedroom with a hockey stick. They're like, oh, she's tanning. She's doing it again. Yeah, she's off again. And was it successful? Was it sort of patch free? Yeah, the best coverage I think I've ever got. I highly recommend this method. That's really good. So you're putting the mitt, are you securing the mitt to the end of the hockey stick?

Yeah, so the mitt I have is a perfect fit for the end of the hockey stick. It's really good. It's a great, it's not for that. And was there, there weren't any, I guess if it tanned the stick, then it just looked like it was just, you know, it was a bit of wood stain.

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. It looked like a little bit of rustic edge to the hockey stick. Yeah, really nice. Almost like I'm a seasoned player. Yeah, it's the perfect crime, Ellie. This is an amazing one. Do you know what? I do think there will be people this morning thinking, that's actually a great idea. Because you could do it with a broom handle. I guess there's all sorts of things you could do. There will be lots of methods that people use to fake tan. Ellie, thank you for being on. Do you want to stick around and have a listen to Sophie? Hi, Sophie. Hi.

Hi, Greg. You OK? Very good, thanks. Have you ever faked hand using a hockey stick? I have not, no, but it sounds like it's a good idea. It does sound quite good, doesn't it? I think it works. So what about you then? It's not for that. My weird thing is my husband went to get a drink of water and apparently a pint glass or anything wasn't big enough. So he used a flower vase as a drinking vessel. I get it.

it I totally get it I'm with him there aren't glasses big enough for the amount of water I need in my life so exactly I mean I get it it was just like it was a very wide open top so it just looked like if he took tipped it too far it would just go down himself

How big are we talking? Are we talking like this would be a lovely sort of ornament in the living room that people would go, oh, that's a nice vase. Is it like proper? Yeah, like in the middle of the manor. Is it undeniably a vase? A bunch of flowers in it, kind of big. So is he taking the flowers out, leaving them on the side and then having a drink? Oh no, it was all clean and there were no flowers in them. So he's got that bedside. Yeah.

I mean, I completely get it. If you don't want to get up and refill a drink all the time, if you're in the middle of doing something like watching a film or like an F1 race or something and you don't want to mix. But it was just very bizarre. It's so lazy. It's very Homer Simpson, isn't it? Yeah, very. So in the night, you raise an interesting point, which is the lip of the vase would be quite difficult to manage while it's dark. So have you heard sort of clanking and that sort of thing next to you as he's tried to manoeuvre the vase whilst he's half asleep?

No, but I envision it as a kind of thing where if he'd be laying down or something, where he'd take a drink and I'd just hear a big slosh and he'd go over and... A slosh and a smash and yeah. Yeah. Well, I really like it. It's a great... It's not for that. Sam has posed an interesting one to me. He says it might actually be an unpopular opinion this, Greg, but I think it is a it's not for that. Using scissors to cut pizza. I feel really weird about it.

I've only recently started using scissors to cut pizza. And I must confess, it is the most efficient way to do it. It's brilliant. It works. It's amazing. But it feels illegal. I feel dirty. I feel weird when I'm doing it. I know it's best, but it doesn't feel right. But yes, as I'm doing it, I'm going, it's not for that. It's for wrapping paper. James, what have you got for me?

Morning. Morning. Where are you? I'm in Watford. Lovely Watford. What's going on? What's your... What would you like to say? It's not for that, too. So I've just come back from holiday on Tenerife and some lad I was with, he had a paint roller to apply sunscreen to his back. Pfft.

I'm just trying to imagine it. That works, doesn't it? That works really well. Maybe not the big one for the walls, but maybe the skirting board one. Maybe the little one, the little roller you might use for the radiators. Oh my God, that's amazing. I can't believe I haven't thought of it. That's of course, that's good. Did you, did you paint his back?

He can do it himself. He doesn't need any help. Didn't need it. Yeah, yeah. But if your friend asked you to paint his back with a little roller, would you do it? Yeah, of course. Yeah, I'd do that. I think it'd be quite fun. Just the cracks around and the... The hard does it get, this. Yeah, exactly. The contours as well of the spine and all the rest of it. And yeah, it's funny, isn't it? Because there's a weird thing. It does feel...

Even if you've been best mates with someone for ages, it does feel weirdly intimate to put cream on the lower bit of the back with your hands because it's skin on skin. I happily do it, but I'm a bit like, I'm very aware that I'm sort of touching your love handles here. So actually with a little roller, that really does ease the awkwardness a bit. Yeah, there's no asking or just do it yourself. It looks a bit strange, but it works. There's nothing...

Yeah, there's nothing too overly sort of sensual about it. I love it. I really love that, James. We'll file that next to Ellie who puts fake tan on with a hockey stick. I really like it. Voice notes now. James, have a good day. Thanks for that. What do you do for a living, by the way, James? I'm a mechanic. Are you now? Yeah. Well, I guess you've got loads of tools in there that you could... Have you ever scratched your back with a wrench? Silence speaks volumes.

And next one. - I was at my aunt's house a little while back. She opened the dishwasher, which you'd expect to be full of dishes, plates, cutlery, your pan here or there. But no, there was a toilet brush. - Oh dear, oh dear. I think that's one of those ones where you go, that should not be anywhere near the kitchen. - My dad used to create sledges out of baby baths. It was a snow day.

and he couldn't find a sledge and he made it out of a baby bath. Yeah, really enterprising. I like it. My it's not for that is telling my clients that they can use a ladle to catch their dog's urine to bring a nice sample in if they can't get down far enough. If they can't get down far enough.

The story just got progressively more bleak, didn't it, that one? Hi, Greg. I sent my son to scout camp at the weekend with two dog collars holding his roll mat in place. Excellent. Some really, really good. It's not for that on this morning's breakfast show. We've had so many sent in. We have to do this again. Next up on The Breakfast Show podcast, it's time for Grandad Things. Ruby, good morning. Welcome to The Breakfast Show. Give us a grandad thing then. What have you got?

Yeah, that generation. Really, really well-dressed. Really well-dressed. Was it ever a tie?

Yeah, occasionally a tie. So he used to be a flight engineer and used to fly sort of all over the world. And we've got pictures of him in Egypt in front of the pyramids in a shirt and tie. He just refused to wear shorts and a T-shirt.

I bet he looked amazing. Yeah, he was quite dapper, but even as he got older, he'd be up before anyone else, made sure he was wearing his nicely pressed shirt, eating his cornflakes, but we all would be in our pyjamas still. We just never, ever saw him wearing anything but a shirt. I do like it. I do really like it. Well, what about when he was doing sort of, because you said he was a flight engineer, when he was at work, I guess he was in overalls and stuff, but when he was like pottering around the house doing, you know, housework or cooking or gardening, was he also in full sort of...

Formal wear. My granddad was very proud of his garden. He won Barnstable Small Garden of the Year one year and spent a lot of time out there and still was very much wearing his nice outfit. I don't think he ever owned anything that was that casual. So yeah, he was always wearing his nice shirt and trousers. Yeah, I always remember my granddad sort of really well turned out. It's that generation. So are we talking about Harold in the past tense here? Is he no longer around? We are.

Well, Harold left us ten years ago, but he's still very much in our hearts. Yeah, and on the radio. I mean, his legend lives on. So how old was Harold? Harold?

He was in his 80s when he passed, but he was still very much doing everything right up until the end. He was very active, very DIY heavy. He just couldn't sit still. I think it's that generation, because my granddad would have been a similar age, I think. And so I think it's that formal wear, lovely, lovely trousers, like really nicely made, like lovely shoes. And it was always pristine. There was never a stiff upper lip and all of that, I think. You know, it's a bit of that, isn't it?

Yes. Love that he won Barnstable Small Garden of the Year, by the way. What an honour. He did. He was very proud. That's really cool. Well, love to you and the family. And big up, Harold. And that has kicked off Grandad Things in a brilliant way. Phil's in Wakefield and says, Greg, very northern grandad thing for you. Everything was related back to Pitt. If you were ill, it would always be, well, if I felt like that down Pitt, we'd just keep going.

He says top points if you can put on a thick Yorkshire accent for his quotes. We could never have been let to pit in shift. We'd have been given away, etc. What else we got? Brad says, Grandad thing, absolutely no talking during the news or the tennis. Otherwise, you'd be told to leave the room. Tasha, good morning. Welcome to Grandad things. What have you got for me?

So my grandad Tony, he would chew chewing gum every day and if he was going to have a cup of tea or some food, he'd just pop it behind his ear for later.

Very common. Very common thing to do. You know, it's that generation of waste not, want not, you know? And he would have it for the whole day then? Yeah, probably live through the war. We didn't have chewing gum in my day and all that sort of stuff. It's like, don't waste it. So he would use the same bit all day, would he? All day. Lovely little waxy bit of gum. Lovely. And you could see it behind his ear whilst he was driving as well. Whilst he was driving? What, because he couldn't concentrate with gum in?

I don't know. It just always used to have one behind it. Put one behind your ear for later. Yeah. Have you inherited this? Do you do that as well? I do not. I'm imagining you talking to me now with a bit of gum behind your ear. Oh. Have you ever put gum behind your ear? I have not. Why not?

I think it put me off watching him do it, to be honest. I think you should do it today. If it's good enough for your grandad, if it's good enough for Tony, it's good enough for you. Give it a go. I'm going to pass. I don't think I've ever done it. I'm going to try it today. Has anyone got any gum? Have you got some? Suzanne, give us some gum. I'll chew some during the 10-minute takeover. Tasha, thank you. That's okay. All right, have a good day. Lovely grandad thing. Have we got Penny? Penny?

Hiya. Hi Penny, how you doing? Yeah, not bad, thanks. I don't know why I was suspicious of your name, but I was a little bit. But you are called Penny, aren't you? I am called Penny, genuinely. Genuinely. What's your... Penny's got a grandad thing, isn't it? Like, oh, I've got to find a penny. What's your grandad thing?

My granddad's thing is that he used to be an engineer and when he retired, we went round for lunch on one Mother's Day and he was in the kitchen helping my gran and he had spirit level out while he was measuring the biscuit base for a cheesecake. Well, if a job's worth doing, it's worth doing properly, isn't it? It was brilliant. That's really, really good. The precision. Yeah, I had a very precise granddad as well. It was very orderly. Maybe that's just a war thing. Maybe it is.

Maybe. He used to go around folding all the tea towels like exactly into eighths as well, which would infuriate my grandma. I should go around the kitchen trying to dry up. Yeah, he was, what was my granddad think? He was very, like he just, my overrunning memory of him is that we played a lot of darts. Like he loved darts so much. I think he saw it as a way of teaching me maths as well. It was like, it's a fun game, but also this is maths, it's adding and subtracting and it's important.

Yeah, engineer brain. Yeah, well, he was. He was, what's the word? He was an estimator. That's what he did as a job, which I'm not quite sure what that is, but yeah. He was sort of electrical things. But yeah, so was he also, was your grandad dressed very well? Was he immaculate?

Like, he wasn't quite as much as wearing a tie every day, but it was a shirt, it was trousers, and it was shoes. Yeah. Like, and then if it was like, even if it was like 80 degrees towards the end, he was always cold. It's like a massive zip-up fleece over the top as well. It's good. I think I need to change. Maybe my summer wardrobe is going to be granddad chic.

I think maybe I need to smarten up. Like Bill Nighy, this thing, you know, because he always looks immaculate. So I'm going to take after both my granddads. Big up Morris, big up Don. I think they were both immaculately dressed. How about these then, Penny? What do you think of these lot? My great granddad was known for his random sayings. For example, we'd used to go and see him and we'd say, hi, granddad, how are you doing? And he'd either reply with, oh, you know, licorice all sorts or everything's bright and beautiful when you paint it with Dulux.

Nobody knew what he was saying half the time. Oh, God. I mean, you could have asked him. You could have... OK, Grandad, whatever you say. Talking about Dulux, God knows. Next one. Our Grandad has a whole cupboard that has nothing but marmite in it.

Yeah, that's actually me. That's my house. Maybe I'm on the way to being a grandad. My grandad once answered a FaceTime call and put it up to his ear. So all we got was a lovely view of my grandad's ear.

This is good. That also works with a mum thing and a dad thing and a grandad thing and a nan thing, is that when you do a FaceTime with them, I don't know if you've had this, Penny, but you always get, it's always the most unflattering angle. It's underneath, you can basically see all the chins up the nose and you can see they're always like that. It's like, mum, just lift it, just lift it a bit higher. You're doing yourself no favours here.

And actually, I think we accidentally called Tasha on FaceTime video earlier. So Tasha, if you're still there, we apologise for that. We didn't mean to give you a jump scare early doors of seeing us all in the flesh. Tasha, thank you. Penny, thank you. And thanks for all your amazing granddad things. Have a great day, Penny. Bye. Oh, 10 minute takeover. Let me take out my chewing gum. Pop that behind me here for later. It's going to get caught on my headphones or my hair. There was no need for me to actually have chewing gum.

I just want that to be made clear that I will always dedicate myself to this show. I'll never pretend. But I do regret that, that dedication to it, because the chewing gum is now very badly in my hair. It's a cut-out job. Susanna, can you come and cut it? Yeah. I've tried to sort of peel it out of the back of my hair. It does need a cut. It's very long at the minute. But that needs to go. Come this side. All right.

How bad is that? Feels bad. Hang on, hang on. Feels bad. It's so sticky. All right. Careful. I'm sorry.

Here we go. You did that quite nicely done. Thanks. It does need a little chop at the back. Grandad things. My grandad was a hairdresser. Good one. There you go. Because I guess in the old days, grandads don't tend to have short back and sides. It's not going to catch the hair, is it? Or they're bald. Or they're bald. Or they're bald. Yeesh. Difficult, that.

We did have some more excellent Grandad Things though with Ricky and Melvin. Morning Greg! Good morning! We were celebrating grandads today on Grandad Things. My grandad always wore a suit. Yeah, it's always looking amazing. Shirt, tie. He just began to Tesco, but he'd be wearing a suit. I love that. I really love it. I think it's something that maybe I should bring into my life. It's just like, be more...

Be more Don. Be more Morris. They were so immaculately dressed. Yeah, they were. Really, really nice. What else do we have? Have you got any things to add? Yeah, so I actually only met my granddad physically during one family holiday because he lived in Ghana, right? And when I arrived at his house, he was sitting on the porch.

And I was like, that's such a granddad thing to do. And then he sat me down. He was like, Melvin, listen, you need to look after your mum because she's my favourite. But then I spoke to my cousin. I think he said the same thing to all of his kids. Of course, they're clever. They've been around the block a few times. Also, that's a nice thing. Just they've got time. They've got time to sit on the porch, just watching the world go by, just thinking. That's nice. My granddad, Greg, used to just, he was the first person that I ever saw smoking pipes.

Every Sunday, he'd smoke a pipe and he'd just read the paper and he'd just fall asleep to reading the paper and smoking his pipe. It's a vibe, isn't it? Absolute vibe. Just also, again, dressed immaculately. But asleep in the chair with a pipe. Dangerous as well because that chair could go up. So maybe I should... Because I feel like looking at people like Bill Nighy, for example...

He always looks amazing. Yeah, he does. Every day, just on a Tuesday, he's got a meeting in town, he's wearing a full suit and he's always carrying an umbrella. And it's a great vibe, isn't it? It's true. You're taking that guy seriously. Do you know what, though? I've got to say...

knowing Melvin from when we were 18 Melvin's always been the friend that will like wear a suit to a club like even when we were really young he'd wear a suit to a club we were like what are you doing he's like I just like the feel of it I just like to dress up I like good tailoring I really get it I used to wear them until one time I went to a club and someone said you look like the toilet attendant and I stopped I stopped doing it

Time now to do yesterday's quiz. This week we're chatting to the McLaren Formula One team before it all kicks off in a couple of weeks time. First Grand Prix of the season in Australia and today we've got Jude. Hi Jude. Hi, how you doing? Good morning and welcome. I hope you appreciate that I didn't say hey Jude. That's the first thing. And yesterday, did you hear Fraser yesterday? What was your take on his performance?

I did, yeah. I was just driving back from the airport when he was on. I loved his old lady name and his lizard noise. Yeah, Fraser was really good yesterday. So we're talking to different people from the team this week because it's not just the drivers, obviously, and it's not just the people that work on the cars. Jude, tell us about your job.

So I am trackside operations. So I look after the hospitality unit within the paddock and also all of our commercial and comms travel. It's very varied. It's good fun. Trackside operations is a very cool title for a job. So this is like a vital part of it. So you're sort of in charge of all the stuff in the paddock as well. So that means over the years, you must have invited and entertained loads of mad guests who have been the maddest on that guest list.

Yeah, we get good guests coming in. We've had yourself and Christian Huell, which has been good fun. Some quite famous people as well as that, though. Yes, we've been lucky enough to have the likes of John Legend in the garage and Adele's been coming in as well to the garage. Big.

And how's it all looking for Melbourne? That's going to be a busy one, isn't it? Because it's Oscar Piastri's home race. It's going to be very, very busy. Good start with Oscar and having his home race there. But it does mean we've got lots of guests, which will be good fun. Good fun. So you've been in Bahrain for a bit, then you're home for a bit, and then straight off to Melbourne. Your life on the road is kind of mad, isn't it, Jude?

It is. It's very intense, but it's good fun and we're all in it together. It's a good family team. Yeah, Fraser was saying a similar thing yesterday because obviously in the moment you're doing that very high pressure job. He's on the front jack of Lando's car. But then obviously everyone, the team is only as good as its weakest link and you're all pretty unified, aren't you?

Yeah, we definitely are all on the same page, which is great. And let's see how, but this week you're up against each other on yesterday's quiz. We have 90 seconds on the clock. Have you been revising Jude?

I've had a little look. It didn't seem like much went on yesterday, so we'll find out. You're right, actually, because it was Oscar stuff the night before, but yesterday everyone had a day off, really. Let's see how you do. Do we have some dingers, though? That is a crucial part of the quiz. Yes, we do. Yesterday's score was 12. I think you could do quite well here, Jude. Here we go with question number one. Which singer of Abracadabra and Poker Face said she's confident about her new album Mayhem, which comes out on Friday?

Lady Gaga. It is Lady Gaga. Nottingham Forest played Ipswich Town in the FA Cup, but who won on penalties? Nottingham Forest. Forest did, yes. It was reported that Adrian Brodie set the world record for what? The longest Oscars speech ever or the most hot dogs eaten in 30 seconds? Longest Oscars speech ever. Correct. It was World Wildlife Day yesterday. Please make a noise like a wild animal celebrating the day. Oh, it's two points for that. Which singer of Messy responded to criticism saying that she looked grumpy at the Brits this weekend?

Absolutely no idea. It's Lola Young. Ali Plum was on the show yesterday to chat to me about which awards show that happened at the weekend. The BAFTAs. No, it was the Oscars. James Anderson, a.k.a. Jimmy Anderson, made himself available for the 100 draft this year. But what sport is that in? Cricket. Yes, it is. Which singer of Havana and Señorita turned 28?

Absolutely no idea. Camila Cabello. Harry Styles was seen doing what in Tokyo? Running a marathon or playing with a claw machine? Playing with a claw machine. No, he's in the marathon! Which singer of Water released the music video for her song Push to Start with Sean Paul yesterday? No idea. Oh, it's Tyler. Andrew Garfield and Jesse Eisenberg, who starred in the movie The Social Network, reunited at an Oscars afterparty. What app was The Social Network about?

Facebook. Correct. What kind of sandwich were we all enjoying on the breakfast show yesterday? Was it a cheese sandwich or a jam sandwich? It was a jam sandwich. It was a jam sandwich. There was speculation in the papers about some I'm a Celebrity cast members. But can you name one of the Radio 1 DJs who was on last season's I'm a Celebrity? Sadly not. That's because you were busy. Busy doing car things.

And one final question for you, Jude. Beaver fans rejoiced as new plans were made to reintroduce them into the wild in Shrewsbury. But what would you say if you saw a lovely beaver in the wild? I'd say, hey, do you want to come for a walk? Great. What a lovely image. Hand in hand with a beaver, like hand in hand with Paddington.

Nine points, Jude. You passed on a lot of them. So you got through a lot of questions, but there were a lot of passes. No nonsense with you, Jude. It was just like, nah, don't know it. Next. Yeah, I'm not sure music is my forte. And I would agree with you on that one. But Jude, nice to chat to you. Thanks for being on the quiz. Nine points is not a disgrace. And I hope it all goes well in Melbourne. And oh my God, it's your day off today and we've made you do work stuff.

It's all good. I've loved it. Have a good rest and enjoy Melbourne and we'll catch up with you soon. Thank you, Speak Tater. And let's get you up to date with all the latest things. We start with Elton John and Chapel Roan. So Elton John has a very famous Oscars party just after the Oscars, the after party. And Elton John joined Chapel Roan on stage to perform Pink Pony Club. This feels lovely. It was really nice.

It feels like Elton John really invented the Pink Pony Club for everyone else to play in. And actually, Chad Paul gave Elton a pink fringed cowboy hat to wear while they sang the song. And she thanked him for doing so much for the queer community. And she said, you made it so I could be the artist I can be. So I thank you so much. Nice moment. Pink Pony Club.

Next up, an unexpected interaction between Radio 1's Jeremiah Asiyama and the Mayor of London, Sadiq Khan. This is an amazing bit. So BBC Asian Network has a podcast called Not Even Water, where they talk about Ramadan. It's hosted by Fatiha El Ghouri. And this week, she had Sadiq Khan on. Big booking, big guest.

Jerry, as in one half of Matt and Jerry currently in the afternoons on Radio 1, got involved by sending in this question about Ramadan. Although I am a Christian, I have fasted before and my friend, his name is Abdullah and I thought I'd, you know, join him in his fast during Ramadan last year for about a good five to six days. Nice thing to do.

He had this question. What would you say is the hardest part about, you know, not only fasting, but also being motivated? Because when you're fasting, you can't really listen to music. You can't, of course, eat, drink. So how do you challenge that? And, you know, how do you get through it? Now, you might be expecting a sort of worthy mayoral answer. Well, a number of things. Firstly, Jeremiah, you're lightweight.

I'm sorry to say this to you, brother, but you're a lightweight. Calls him a lightweight twice. Just straight in. So that was the first bit of the answer. There was also another bit of the answer. It is hard. Let's not pretend it's not hard. And it's supposed to be hard. I mean, if it was easy, it wouldn't be a sacrifice. It wouldn't be a challenge. If you want to listen to that full podcast, it's on the BBC Sounds app right now. And it's called Not Even Water. Not Even Water.

It's funny, isn't it? We always say, get involved in the conversations, guys. Text the radio show. Send in a question. You might get to speak to the mayor. Then the mayor might call you a lightweight. Jerry was wounded by this. He's like, oh, my God, man. I've just been cussed by the mayor. And finally, some great news from Haim. There's new music and we've got some actual clips of it. I hear a voice in my head and it keeps asking why. I'm listening to you and I explain it.

So far, we've just had them farting around doing memes and stuff. But it's nice to finally get a little bit of the music. That must be coming very soon. And with that, you're up to date with all the latest things. Also today, we had another round of the investigation into the Beeston Banana Bandit. We've been following this mystery quite closely. At the beginning of the year, I was notified that something was going down in Beeston.

In Nottingham. And this was the thing. Who is leaving a plate of peeled bananas on a street in Nottinghamshire every month? Every month. First Saturday of the month. Who is doing this? The mysterious plate has appeared on the second day of every month in the same spot in Beeston for more than a year now. Sorry, yeah, second day of the month, not the first Saturday. Second day of the month. People have been flummoxed. The people of Beeston...

We roped in BBC Nottingham reporter Harry to go undercover, do some interviews in the area and discover who the beast and banana bandit was. I spoke to someone who had delayed the day they normally go shopping just to get a glimpse of them. So they normally go shopping on a Friday. They decided on this particular day to go on Sunday morning to try and see the bananas. They didn't see them, sadly.

We even asked him to do a stakeout overnight last month. He didn't quite manage it. I don't think anyone was there literally the whole night. Harry, Harry, Harry. Promises haven't been kept in the investigation. Out of my control, Greg, I'm afraid. So we didn't even see who put the plate down? No, we didn't. So that was where we left it in February. But look, hey, it's March.

And a few of you have been asking this morning, what is the latest from Beeston? Harry is on the scene. Good morning again, Harry. Good morning, Greg. Welcome back to the investigation. Now, I was worried that you were going to bring it into disrepute last time, but there have been some developments, haven't there?

Yeah, sort of. I mean, the development is that there were no bananas left this month. I was there for a few hours on Saturday evening with a colleague of mine, Alex, from the social media team. And yeah, there was no bananas left. But you did do a stakeout. Yeah, we did. We sat in my car, the two of us, watching about probably 20 metres opposite the place where the bananas were.

Okay, so this happens sometimes in investigations is that they don't go your way. It's one of the perils of being a high ranking officer that you, you know, you put in the hard work and just sometimes those criminals slip through your fingers, Harry. That's how it works. That's, in my experience, that's policing. So you were there for ages and nothing happened.

Yeah, we were there for about three and a half hours and the sun came down. A couple of people joined us. Someone was dressed in a banana costume. There was also some YouTubers who have called themselves the banana hunters and they were there too. And yeah, maybe the person got spooked. I don't know, but no bananas were left. And my colleague went back in the morning, had a check, none at all. So it goes on, I guess. Yeah.

It does. You took the words right out of my mouth. What's happened here is the people, the banana bandits have been spooked. That's exactly what's happened. And look, this does tend to happen with big, serious cases that people want to take matters into their own hands. And, you know, I'm all for the banana hunters having a nice time, but...

their presence and the presence of someone in a banana costume has made the person think again about laying down. I think so. So you do have to leave this investigation to the professionals. And I'm talking about you and me, Harry. So we need to be, you've got to give us proper time. Don't, don't try and solve this case on your own because this is, this is something that only professionals can deal with. So please don't, please don't interfere with police investigations is what I'm saying to the nation. Let us do it. Um,

Harry, hopefully we have better luck next month and thank you for your time. It wasn't a waste. There's no wasted time in these sorts of situations. No, thank you, Greg. Will you be going back again at the start of April? I think maybe. I don't know. I don't think we've talked about it yet, but I'll keep you posted. Yeah, what I think you need is you need a hiding place. This is the thing. You need a hiding place. You need to get away from the people in the banana costumes. Separate yourself from them. They're amateurs. You are a professional, Harry.

Okay, I'll dress up as a bush and then hide. Perfect, that's good. Don't dress as a banana, that's too obvious. Dress as a bush, correct, correct. Okay, I've been told. I don't know what to do about this investigation. I feel like everyone's become a bit too aware. The whole thing's been blown wide open. I realise that having a national radio show has not helped proceedings, that we have broadcast it to a lot of people, but I feel like they've wised up.

I'm not sure what to do. I guess, you know, let's wait until the second day of April and take a view. How about that? I think that's the end of today's podcast. Unless anyone's got any, no grievances, but anything else to add? If I'm happy? Sorry for making you cut my hair. Oh, I enjoyed it. Oh, did you? Yeah. Okay. Actually, it's just nice to have Susanna back. It is nice to have Susanna back. It's lovely to have you back. Yeah.

Looking very well rested. Yeah, I got loads of sleep. And tanned. You look it. Thanks, yeah, I was in the sun. Yeah. I was in the sea. I was eating noodles. It looks like you've been doing all those things. Yeah. And on that note, we'll finish today's Breakfast Show podcast. Thanks for listening. I'll be back tomorrow with a very special guest. Joe is going to be on. We love Joe. Joe Keery, a.k.a. Steve from Stranger Things. He's on talking about music and doing unpopular opinion. Bye-bye. Radio One's All Day Breakfast. With Greg James.

Hello, I'm Robin Ince. And I'm Brian Cox. And we would like to tell you about the new series of The Infinite Monkey Cage. We're going to have a planet off. Jupiter versus Saturn! It's very well done that, because in the script it does say wrestling voice. After all of that, it's going to kind of chill out a bit and talk about ice. And also in this series, we're discussing history of music, recording with Brian Eno, and looking at nature's shapes. So listen wherever you get your podcasts.