Shoulda Sorted That!
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BBC Radio 1. Radio 1's All Day Breakfast. With Greg James. Hello and welcome to Friday's Radio 1 All Day Breakfast podcast. Susanna. Hello. Amy. Hi. Henry. Good day. Good day, Henry. And Billy. Hello. Billy's new. Billy's new. Yeah, welcome, welcome, Billy. Yay! Thank you very much. Thank you.

Is it a one day special? Hopefully not, but... No, I mean, for now, for now. No, that wasn't me giving you a review. That was one day special, I hope. Billy is very welcome on today's breakfast show until... And actually, I'm going to save this for the grievances. You've got a grievance? It's Friday. I've got a grievance. You've never had one.

Billy's made an impression. Not going to tell you whether it's good or bad, although it is going to fall under the grievances section. But anyway, so today's breakfast show, we've got yesterday's quiz. We've got all the latest things. We've got wrong-uns with one of our favourite callers of the week. We started the hunt for Britain's tallest mum. And we also celebrated things in your house that you should have sorted out.

And if a stranger came over or a friend just saw how you lived, they'd go, why do you live like this? In fact, I think we should start there. Let's begin. Hi, it's Hope from Birmingham here. And we've got a plant growing behind our fridge that's coming in from the outside. That's the thing. Is it weirdly comforting? Sort of quite, it's quite beautiful. There's a bit of, what do they say? There's a bit of the outside in.

I've got a unit for the telly, Greg. Every time I open the front door, it falls off. It's been like it for five years, says Jason. This is it. It's normal to you. But if someone came round and said, I'm just going to put the telly on, it falls off in their hand, they go, yeah, you probably actually should fix that. Greg, we bought two houseplants while we were in Cardiff, transported them both to London. They were dead at the time. Kept them in London, still dead.

brought them back to Cardiff, still dead. And they're in our house, just in the foyer there. Millie, good morning! Morning! Can you relate? I'm good, thank you. Can you relate to these things?

I can. We have a toilet that we now have to flush with a pair of tweezers. Great. This is exactly the sort of thing. You look at it, actually. If someone in the cold light of day came to your house and they went to the toilet, they would come out to you and they'd go, why haven't you sorted this? But maybe you've become accustomed to the tweezers and that's just part of your routine now.

Yeah, it very much is. And it's definitely something we have to pre-warn people about. And can I just ask the technicals here? What do you mean by that? So basically, I was cleaning the toilet and as I was flushing it, I think my nail must have like got underneath the flusher and it's knocked it into the toilet and flushed it down. So now we have to use a pair of tweezers and we have to angle it to hit the right spot.

piece of plastic I don't really know how it works well thanks for using the technical terminology what you've got to do there is you've got to angle it to hit the right bit of piece of plastic and the yeah so it sounds like a very dainty operation this yeah yeah do you feel like you're doing sort of brain surgery when you do it

No. Well, when you go to other toilets, I imagine that you feel, oh, I wish there were some tweezers nearby. I feel a bit weird about this. That's good. Millie, thank you for your one. Sophie's next. Hi, Sophie. Hi, Greg. Go on then. What about you? What's the thing that you look at and you go, why haven't we sorted this out?

Mm.

Yeah, when I've got people coming round, I feel really embarrassed. But when it's just me and my fiancé, I'm just like, oh, this is our hallway, this is how we live now. Yeah, the cutting in bit is the tough bit, isn't it? It's rewarding when you do it well, but you need real skill to do that and actually you need a lot of time. Yeah, I feel like we need indoor scaffolding and I just haven't got the time for that.

Who can be bothered? Life's too busy for that. So similarly, Anna in Manchester has sent me an absolutely wild photo of her stairwell where she's just got, and I'm counting them now, I'd say 20 to 25 empty picture frames.

Empty. So she's obviously measured them out to make sure they all fit, but she's just used the thing that you get when you buy the picture frame, which is just like a little bit of black and white bit of paper. And that's on her actual house. Yeah, I keep saying to my fiancé that we need to put some pictures up, but I don't know if it'll make it better or worse. Yeah, the pictures are strangely quite near the ceiling join. Yeah.

What about this one? I've got a voice note. Morning, Greg. We've got a cupboard in our kitchen. The kitchen's fairly new as well. It's got no screws in the hinge, but it kind of clicks on. So every time you open the kitchen cupboard door, the door falls off in your hand and we just seem to just push it back on. Yeah, the thing, maybe it's this. Maybe it's a mess, but it's our mess. Maybe there's something in that, Sophie. Yeah, I agree.

It's sort of weirdly comforting. Yeah. Have a good weekend. Thanks for being on. Thank you. Bye. Fun bit. And I feel like that might come back again because we've got basically a well of stuff to sort of dip the bucket into. So that is going to come back at some point. Next up, let's do all the latest things. And first up, some Paul Meskell news. Well, sort of. It's Paul Meskell calendar news. Tegan on TikTok.

Posted a video of her monthly tradition in her house where they all gather round and turn the page on the Paul Mescal calendar. I imagine sort of when my nan was sort of 20-odd, she'd have done the same thing with a Cliff Richard calendar. So maybe Paul Mescal's the Cliff Richard of the modern day. So there's a Paul Mescal calendar and this is the reveal. Here we go. February's big reveal. What are you doing?

He's just there in a tight white T-shirt and it gets that noise. That noise sounds a little bit like a few things. A deflating balloon. It sounds like a bird call, actually. It sounds like the Malabar whistling thrush. Yeah, quite piercing. And it also sounds a little bit like Ariana Grande's whistle. There you go, Teague. We'll look forward to next month.

And let's move on to Jonathan Bailey now. Jonathan Bailey sat down with Vogue magazine to be their resident, well, expert on something. I really like this. I think this is a good role for him. My name's Jonathan Bailey and it's my turn to be your agony uncle. He's the agony uncle now. So he's sorting out people's dilemmas. My husband keeps leaving his dirty pants on the bedroom floor. What shall I do? What's his resolution?

Put them on your head, wear them to a dinner party and look at him and say, you did this to me. So he did that one as a joke one. And then the actual one is lovely and wholesome. I'd say maybe ask him, what do I do that really annoys you? Can you think of anything? And you can just say, so when you leave the pants on the floor, that's the same as when I do that to you. Yeah, nice. A very gentle man, a diplomat.

And finally, we go to Noah Khan, who has posted a track called Orbiter. The track references him not winning at the Golden Globes, which is quite sad, but it's very on brand for Noah Khan because he's a sad boy. It's not my first time bitter, drunk on a red car. My first time losing. I don't want to be my ass. You said ignore it.

Blimey. It reminds me of when he did Bleak Mornings for us. Do you remember this? Oh, well, Mama told me it's insane At the end of the day, you were the winner You should never complain

About a second dinner. Yeah, he's a nice man. I'm sure he's fine. And with that, you're up to date with all the latest things. And now the quiz final. Captain Jordan, welcome back. Hi, Greg. How are you feeling about your place in the final not being safe just yet?

Well, nervous. Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm really nervous. Because you brought your team along. It's a team of P teachers and you were on Monday. You got 15 points, which is very good. Then Sarah. Welcome back, Sarah. Hi. Hi.

Hi, everybody. She came back on Tuesday and got 15. And we're like, that's really good. And then what's going to happen on Wednesday? My God, then Alex turned up. The cold, the sort of ice, the veins full of ice turned up as the cold killer and got 16 points. Amazing. Morning all. Yeah, well done, Al. Well done, mate. Yeah, good work. Do you think that's genuine, that, Alex? Or is Jordan slightly annoyed with you? Yeah, no, no, that's not genuine at all.

I was about to say definitely not. What's the chat in the staff room been like? Has it made it to the staff room, yesterday's quiz? Yeah, it's definitely made it to the staff room. It was chaos yesterday. What's the mood amongst your colleagues with yesterday's quiz? Who are they supporting?

soup question. Soup question. That's where we're losing it. Yeah, people aren't happy with that and also Greg was a bit bitter yesterday because he felt like he should have got more bonus points. That's ridiculous. I gave that man about seven bonus points. There was no way he deserved any more than that. No way. He didn't deserve... He got 14, which is mad. Anyway. Can I award Greg a bonus point for laughing about Arsenal and then get him in the final as well? No. No.

So what we need to do, because it will ruin my format today, I'm afraid. So otherwise I would. But we need to do a qualifying question. So Alex, you're through. OK, you're through to the final. But Jordan and Sarah, we've got one spot available. So here we go with your qualifying question to get into today's yesterday's quiz final. Jordan and Sarah.

I'll let you answer this one first, Jordan, as you are the captain. OK. Archaeologists discovered the world's largest collection of ancient beads. But to the closest thousand, how old were the ancient beads? 5,000. OK. Sarah? Oh, I'm going to go 6,000. Alex, unbelievably... No, not Alex. Jordan, unbelievably...

It's 5,000. Oh, my God. He knows his ancient beads. Wow. Well played, George. Well done, George. Thank you, sir. There you go. That's a thing you never knew you knew. But there you go. I was going to say 5,000 as well. I was going to say that. Well, you were going to say 5,000. Yeah, sure. Sarah, thanks for being on this week. Have a good weekend. Thank you so much. Go well. Cheers.

So you're a tail ender as well. What a great team. So it's Jordan versus Alex on the final of yesterday's quiz. Alex, if you win today, you get to play Greenlight by Pitbull. Great song. I will lift the ban temporarily to play Pitbull and Flo Rida. And your one, Jordan, what are we going for? Luke Combs, Fast Car. Nice. Okay. Here we go. It's first to five on the final of yesterday's quiz. There's some dingers.

And here we go with Alex first, because you're in the lead. Alex, Leo Woodall was on The Breakfast Show, but what big movie was he promoting? Bridget Jones. Yes, Bridget Jones' Man About the Boy. Jordan, the trailer for the next Jurassic Park film was released, but what animals feature in that film? Dinosaurs. Yes, he knows his beats, he knows his dinosaurs. Same sort of realm. Not at all, actually. It's a nerve.

Alex, scientists revealed the best way to boil an egg. Name me something that lays an egg. Chicken? Yeah. Jordan, a mayor in Croatia was detained on suspicion of buying 1.5 tonnes of sausages with public funds. Name me a type of sausage. A frankfurter. Oh, yeah, lovely. It's quite a good way to go, though, isn't it, that? LAUGHTER

That's why I should get sacked. I've been spending the licence fee on sausages. Alex, it was revealed a zoo in America will send a video of an elephant laying a turd to your ex on Valentine's Day. Give me your best impression of a relieved elephant. Yeah, pretty good. Jordan, a tiger and a wild boar had to be rescued from a well in India. Give me your best impression of a wild boar stuck in a well with a tiger.

Good. Was that the tiger at the end there? It was. Yeah, I liked it. Three all. No one's blinked yet. Alex. Liverpool played Spurs in the Carabao Cup yesterday, but who won? Liverpool. They did. Jordan. Arsenal played Man City in the Women's League Cup. Who won that game? Man City. They did. This, Alex, for the win.

It was Gabby Allen's birthday yesterday. Happy birthday, Gabby. But what ITV2 dating show is she currently on? Love Island. It is Love Island, Alex. Love Island all-stars, to be precise. We like to be precise with Love Island. But you smashed it. Well done, Al. Thank you very much. Alex, really good. The winning track will be Pitbull and Flo Rida, Green Light. I'm not going to play it now because...

It's too long and it will crash into the news. And I don't want to cut Pitbull in half, OK? Because he's got a lot to say and we need to hear every single word of it. So instead, I'll play something else a bit shorter. And then we'll play it after 7.30, straight after the news, OK? OK, yeah, that's great. Thank you. A great win on yesterday's quiz. The winning song coming soon. Time now for wrong-uns and here's Rachel. Wrong answers only on a Friday.

60 seconds on the clock and are you ready for your questions? I am ready. No passing, no swearing and the answer has to be related to the question, please. Here we go. Okay. Your time starts now. What's your name? Long Boy. How are you today? Miserable. Very. Oh, so you are miserable. We'll dig into that later. What strange thing have you swallowed recently? A spanner. What do you normally put on toast?

Tulips. What's Beyonce doing this year? She is swimming the channel. Who was in the live lounge yesterday? The Maccabees. What sound does a kangaroo make? What does BBC stand for? Badly burnt crumpets. What do you normally use a sieve for?

Tightening the nuts on your car wheel. Okay. And what's my name? Your name is Jack Saunders. Okay. I wish. Let's go. It's time to drop a big one. It's Jack Saunders up in the game here. Rungans was fantastic.

OK, I think you did very well. Sometimes this happens on wrong ends. You feel like you can hear someone's brain. I felt like I could hear your brain actually moving. Yeah, yeah. And it's just going, no, don't say that. It was moving. I got stuck.

Badly burnt crumpets is one of my favourite answers you've ever had for the UC question. Badly burnt crumpets is great. Because the thing is with a crumpet, you've got to take it all the way up to just about being burnt. You absolutely do. In fact, double. Yeah, you've got to double dunk, definitely. Double dunk. But also, you've just got to be on the cusp of someone going, oh, you've burnt it. Just before. Exactly right. Just before. It's a real game of chicken. So true.

Yeah. What else do we have? Tulips on toast. Mmm, delicious. Something about tightening nuts. Yeah, good. Kangaroo barking. Swallowed a spanner. Oh, yeah. How were you today? And you said... Yeah, I got it wrong. You were very happy. Are you okay? I am happy. I am okay. Thank you. Thank you.

Rachel, we've loved having you on this week. Thanks for being so fun and so up for it. It has been fun. Thank you. And you've now got a legacy in The Breakfast Show. Yeah, yeah. Thanks for the safe space. There's only a few of them. The one that pops into my head that I always think about was

was producer Will, who's no longer on the show, sadly. He's still with us. He's still very much a friend of mine. But he famously admitted that him and his wife share a toothbrush. I remember that. I think this is one of those ones that will stay long in our memory. So thank you for it. Yes, I think it is, unfortunately. Okay. Speak to you soon. Stay out of trouble. Okay, try. I'll try. Keep those rings secured. And we'll catch up with you soon.

Okay. Cheers. Bye, bye, bye. So Monday, we're doing something a little different and we were getting excited about it today. As it's a Monday in February, we make them mega and we make them massive. And we just like to give you something big to look forward to on a Sunday when you're like, oh God, I've got to go back to work tomorrow. Oh God, school again. It's gone so quickly. So we do something stupid on a Monday throughout February. Mega, massive Monday. Although Monday's one is going to be...

Mega, massive mum. And I was told yesterday via a letter from management that we could interpret that any way we want. And so I immediately thought, well, if we're mummifying things, then get a mummy involved. That, by the way, was a news article from years ago where they worked out what a mummy would sound like. We could also do mother. I've got some good thoughts about what we can do on Monday.

I would quite like to, I mentioned it yesterday, I would quite like to find the UK's tallest mum. Tallest mum listening to the radio at that moment would be good. I found the tallest duck in the UK. This will be a walk in the park. So 03700100100, maybe you could submit your mum, forward your mum on to me.

then we'll see what's going on. 03700100100. Ideally, photos next to... No, not in that way. But photos next to a tape measure would be good.

That's what we need. Or, you know, like in a police line-up, they have the heights of the potential criminals. That's what we want. So loads of stupid stuff will happen on Monday. I can guarantee you that. One of those things will be me trying to find the tallest mum that's currently listening. OK? Erin's in Scotland.

A bit hard to whip out the tape measure when I'm in the car, but my mum is 177 centimetres. I'll take that. It's a good start. Strong start. Dale says, oh, my mum's 5'11". Is that tall enough? What's 177, Amy? 5'8". No. Not interested in that. Not interested, sorry. My dog's taller than that. Thanks, though. Thanks for getting involved in the show. A valued customer.

Dale says, yeah, mum's 5'11". That's good. 5'11", that's good. What else we got? We'll start at 5'11". We've got 5'11", start at 5'11". Benny, advance on 5'11". Anyone 6'0"? 6'0"? We've got a 6'0", mum. 6'0", mum. Where she do have a 6'0", mum. 6'0", who's this? I can't measure myself at the moment as I've broken my finger, but I am a mum and I'm 183.5cm. That's 6'0". And a half and half an inch. That's pretty good. That's very good.

Jason's in Cottingham and does make a very valid point and says, you found the tallest duck, Greg, but look what happened to him. This doesn't bode well for the mum search. I don't think, yeah, it's a good reminder. I'll be careful with that. Yeah, Tom, is that Tom the Young Farmer? Tom the Young Farmer, his mum's been featured on the show a bit. I wonder how tall Val is. Tom, if you're listening, is your mum, how tall is your mum?

And Lauren's been on and says, my mum's called Marjorie. Can we get her on Mega Massive Mum Marjorie Day? As she's ageing, she is shrinking, so you've got to hurry up. All of that from Monday on Mega Massive Mum Day. It's going to be stupid, but look.

If the bosses give us something like that to play with, we are going to be stupid with it. Henry, if you're playing buzz again, I'm going to kill you. Why is the buzz so loud? Save it for the grievances. No, it's not that his buzz is just so loud. It's from you. It's from you. It's from you. It's from you. Why do you have notifications on? Guys, the grievances haven't started, although we are leaving that one in. That's an early grievance. Sorry, everyone.

That's a great exchange. It's from you. It's from you. It should be my text to let that, shouldn't it? All right, let's do Friday grievances. We've had that one from Amy. I think it was resolved because actually it was your fault. Susanna, any grievance? I'm all right today. Are you sure? I may think of something as you guys discuss. You're buzzing because you're going away. I know, I'm off. No grievances over there. She's off to Thailand. Woo!

You'll be going to Thailand as we're watching the new series of The White Lotus, which is about Thailand. I did that on purpose. Yeah. Billy, welcome. Please take the mic. There is a grievance. I don't know if the rest of the team know about this grievance. The grievance is that first day on The Breakfast Show, I walked out to go and get a coffee from downstairs, and I walked back, and there you were, frolicking. Frolicking with Asian Network.

You were in there, laughing around, telling anecdotes, giving people hugs. And I felt incredibly left out. I felt wronged. Well, Nikita Kanda has taken me up on the matcha tea. So she saw it in my hand and, you know, wanted to give it to me. And she's off to Birmingham, so she wanted to say hi and bye, I think. Yeah, she can't go soon enough. She is.

She is a vixen. She really is. So basically I grabbed Billy. I was really overdramatic. I went, you're not allowed to fraternise with them. You're working with me today, Billy. And then I brought him back to the studio and he was like, I was actually on the way to making a tea. So I was doing this awful bit, but I was actually moving him out of the way he wanted to. So actually, well, it should be, you should start agreements about me because actually that was monstrous behaviour on my part. And I am sorry.

That is the end of today's Breakfast Show podcast. Any other business? Are you happy? Are you still happy, Susanna? I, for once, feel fine. Jake's on the buttons out in the live lounge. Jake Peach, get your peach in here. LAUGHTER

Get in here and give us your grievance. Real name, Jake Peach. Imagine your name's Jake Peach. Don't talk about my peaches like that. Grab that mic. How's your life being a peach? Is it great? It's great. You get the whole like Roald Dahl, is your name James? Jake and the giant peach, yeah. All of that. We call you the Jake Meister. We've had the Justin Peep. Sorry, we call you the Peach Meister. Peach Meister 3000 general. Yeah, that's good. The Peach Meister 3000 is pretty good. That's just like an AI robot. Yeah.

We get the whole Justin Bieber, peaches out in Georgia thing as well. And I'm getting married later this year, so someone else is going to become a peach. Mr and Mrs Peach. Obviously. Because that's what happens. So you're going to turn her into a peach? Yeah. Is that the right phrase? Yeah. What is she at the moment? She's a Meryl. Meryl? A feral Meryl at the moment. Can you say that in a way, please?

You call your wife-to-be Feral Meryl? Yeah. Right. Sometimes. Sometimes. Okay. That's her surname. Good surname. Yeah. Meryl. I think she's a bit low-key gutted that we're going to Peach, actually. Couldn't she not be Meryl Peach? Oh, yeah.

We have talked about the double barrel situation. You could have a double barrel, Peach. Yeah. I think that'd be great. It sort of works. I think she should be double barreled. You should be Jake Merrill Peach as well. You should take the double barreled as well. I think. Yeah. No, I like Jake Peach. Don't mess with it. Don't mess with the peach. Don't mess with the peach. There's two syllables. It's nice and easy, isn't it? Jake Peach. Yeah. Jake Peach.

Do you have any grievances? Maybe this conversation? Yes, my whole life is now out in the world. Anything we could do better? No, pretty satisfied. This is feedback really for us. Yeah, it's great. If I think of anything, I'll let you know. I'll send you a DM. There you go. Send me a DM.

We don't let the newcomers have my number. It's probably findable. We've got about 35 WhatsApp groups for The Breakfast Show. Anyway, Jake, have a great weekend. And listeners, have a great weekend as well. I'll be back on Monday with Mega Massive Monday. Goodbye.