We're sunsetting PodQuest on 2025-07-28. Thank you for your support!
Export Podcast Subscriptions
cover of episode Bonus Episode - The Science of Attraction: Why You’ve Not Met Someone - Matthew Hussey

Bonus Episode - The Science of Attraction: Why You’ve Not Met Someone - Matthew Hussey

2023/6/8
logo of podcast Deep Dive with Ali Abdaal

Deep Dive with Ali Abdaal

AI Deep Dive AI Chapters Transcript
People
A
Ali Abdaal
M
Matthew Hussey
Topics
Ali Abdaal: 本期节目探讨了现代约会环境的复杂性,人们越来越难以在现实生活中找到伴侣,更多地依赖线上约会平台,这带来了诸多挑战,例如如何在有限的屏幕空间中展现自我,以及如何避免与社交媒体上完美伴侣的比较而产生的不安全感。节目还将讨论吸引力、约会中的常见错误、实用的约会建议以及维持持久欲望的秘诀。 Matthew Hussey: 持久吸引力由四个阶段组成:化学反应、感知价值、感知挑战和连接。化学反应虽然难以捉摸,但可以通过个人形象和举止进行部分控制。感知价值包含性格、技能、生活方式等,但如果没有感知挑战,感知价值会下降。感知挑战并非指'难以得到',而是指价值需要被赢得,而不是轻易获得。约会中常见的错误是过分关注对方的表面条件,而忽略了对方的性格和价值观。一段关系需要四个阶段:欣赏、连接、承诺和兼容性。在约会中,如果只关注某个阶段而忽略其他阶段的重要性,就会失去价值。做真实的自己并不意味着固守所有缺点和坏习惯。忽视吸引力的四个阶段会导致痛苦的后果。吸引力在一定程度上是选择,可以通过培养好奇心和探索不同类型的人来改变。应该重视长久的平静感,而不是短暂的兴奋感。吸引力需要多样性,不能只有一种特质。一个人应该像一张专辑,而不是一首热门歌曲。 Ali Abdaal: 现代约会需要应对与过去不同的挑战,不应该将男性是否主动联系作为衡量其兴趣的唯一标准。约会应用在一定程度上解决了男性不敢主动搭讪的问题。'手帕'比喻是指女性可以主动创造机会,即使看起来像是男性在主动。现代的'手帕'策略包括请求微小的帮助,以打破僵局并开启对话。'两击理论'是指先进行小的互动,再进行更深入的交流。长期关系中,需要平衡爱和欲望。欲望存在于空间和神秘感中,而爱则建立在彼此了解的基础上。长期关系中,需要维持一种平衡,既要安全感,也要保持神秘感和新鲜感。在长期关系中,要关注伴侣的需求,而不是只关注自己的需求。蜜月期是关系中一个重要的阶段,需要关注如何保持欲望。关系的健康不仅仅取决于付出的数量,更在于了解伴侣的需求。

Deep Dive

Chapters
The episode discusses the complexities of modern dating compared to past generations, highlighting the decline of organic meetings and the rise of dating apps and social media, which introduce new challenges and comparisons.

Shownotes Transcript

💌 Sign up to LifeNotes here 👉 https://go.aliabdaal.com/lifenotes/podcast)

Navigating the world of modern dating and romance is hard. Back in our parents’ and grandparents’ days, it was common for people to meet through family or mutual friends. Nowadays, things are a little more complicated. We’re much less likely to meet our potential partners organically. It’s pretty rare for people to meet through sports clubs, events, or just by hanging out with people who live in your local area. The rise of dating apps and websites means that our first encounter with our potential partners is likely to be through a screen - which comes with a lot of complexities. On top of that, the rise of social media encourages us compare our relationship with the seemingly perfect couples on Instagram - which often creates unrealistic expectations. So, how do we navigate this new landscape and find those meaningful connections that we crave and that add value to our lives? In this episode of deep dive, I spoke to renowned dating coach Matthew Hussey. Matthew Hussey has helped millions of people find love and build strong relationships for over a decade. His YouTube channel has nearly 3 million subscribers and his book, ‘Get the Guy’, is a New York Times bestseller. In the episode you'll learn about:

00:00 Navigating the world of dating03:19 The 4 stages of attraction17:53 Mistakes we make when dating28:23 Practical dating advice 44:26 The secret to long-lasting desire

Enjoy!

📚Check out my New York Times Bestselling book Feel-Good ProductivityAmazon) Website)

🔗 CONNECT WITH MATTHEW

🎥 YouTube Channel)💻 Website)📸  Instagram)🐦  Twitter)💌 Find Your Dating Solution Here)💪 Discover How To Move On After Heartbreak)

🔗 CONNECT WITH ALI

📲 Join My Telegram Community - https://t.me/+bH5gLHty5kBiOGZk)🎥 YouTube Channel - https://www.youtube.com/c/aliabdaal)🐦 Twitter - https://twitter.com/aliabdaal)📸 Instagram - https://instagram.com/aliabdaal)💻 Website - https://aliabdaal.com)👥 Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/ali-abdaal/)

🎙 ABOUT THE PODCAST

Deep Dive is the podcast that delves into the minds of entrepreneurs, creators and other inspiring people to uncover the philosophies, strategies and tools that help us live happier, healthier and more productive lives.

Want to start your own podcast? We use Transistor! https://go.aliabdaal.com/transistor)

If you enjoy listening to the podcast, please do leave a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts) - even one line helps! You can also Tweet @AliAbdaal) with any feedback, thoughts from the lessons you've learnt from the episodes and we can thank you personally for tuning in 🙏

Check out the episode on the Deep Dive YouTube Channel).

See privacy policy at https://transistor.fm/privacy)

Creators & Guests

  • Amber Baxter-Clarke - Producer

  • Ali Abdaal - Host