cover of episode High Performance Psychologist: The Secret To Happiness Is Vulnerability

High Performance Psychologist: The Secret To Happiness Is Vulnerability

2024/3/21
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Deep Dive with Ali Abdaal

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Ali: 本期节目中,Ali 与高绩效心理学家 Dr. Aria 讨论了他在表达脆弱性方面的挣扎,以及他如何逐渐克服恐惧,学会真诚地表达情感。他分享了他与伴侣 Jane 的关系中,如何克服对被误解为肤浅或只关注外表的恐惧,学会真诚地表达赞美。他还谈到了他与母亲的关系,以及他如何努力克服童年经历带来的障碍,学会向母亲表达爱意。在与 Dr. Aria 的对话中,Ali 逐渐意识到,他过去常常用理性思维掩盖直觉,并试图通过理性化来解释自己的行为。他开始学习区分理性思维和直觉,并尝试从内心的真实感受出发,而不是被外界的期望所左右。他意识到,他过去常常将“应该”作为一种价值判断,这会带来痛苦,而他应该关注的是内心的真实感受和渴望。 Dr. Aria: Dr. Aria 是一位高绩效心理学家和正念专家,她帮助 Ali 探索了他内心深处的情感世界,并引导他认识到恐惧和爱的力量。她指出,恐惧总是存在,重要的是我们在恐惧面前怎么做。她帮助 Ali 区分了快乐和喜悦,并指出,真正的幸福源于内心的平静和喜悦,而不是外界的物质和成就。她鼓励 Ali 关注内心的感受,学会区分来自思维的快感和来自内心的喜悦,并从爱出发,而不是从恐惧出发。她还强调了直觉的重要性,并指出,直觉会随着时间和环境的变化而改变,我们要保持开放和清醒的头脑,才能对直觉做出更敏感的回应。她帮助 Ali 认识到,人生的唯一任务是认识自己的真相并按此行动,而不要被外界的期望所左右。

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Ali discusses his core value of sharing without fear and how it applies to expressing love and compliments, particularly in his relationship with Jane.

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We’ve all experienced moments when we want to express vulnerability, but our mind holds us back. I often find myself in this situation, and in this candid conversation with Dr. Aria, I delve into my inner thoughts on the matter. Dr Aria is a high-performance psychologist and mindfulness specialist who developed a science-based method called Focused Insight Training to help people stay mentally and physically fit for life. Enjoy! 

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(00:00) Intro(03:35) The struggle with being vulnerable(22:40) Intuition vs rationalisation(26:20) Intuition evolves into change(31:25) Fear as a core value(35:30) When reality clashes with expectation(42:30) Pleasure vs joy(52:45) The mind thinks, the heart knows(56:20) How to know your truth(59:33) Sharing in the face of fear

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