cover of episode The Difference Between Healthy and Toxic Relationships

The Difference Between Healthy and Toxic Relationships

2024/2/22
logo of podcast Deep Dive with Ali Abdaal

Deep Dive with Ali Abdaal

AI Deep Dive AI Chapters Transcript
People
A
Ali Abdaal
H
Hannah Witton
J
John Gottman
J
Julie Gottman
L
Logan Ury
M
Matthew Hussey
Topics
Ali Abdaal: 本期节目邀请多位关系专家探讨如何建立健康、有意义的爱情关系,涵盖约会建议、长期关系中的冲突处理以及独处时间的重要性。节目嘉宾包括Matthew Hussey、Logan Ury、Gottman夫妇和Hannah Witton等。 Matthew Hussey: 深度持久的吸引力不仅在于化学反应,还包括感知价值、感知挑战和连接。感知挑战并非指'难追',而是指你的价值需要被对方通过付出和尊重来获得。过早地给予对方过高的评价,忽视了了解对方真正价值的必要性。一段成功的长期关系需要四个阶段:欣赏、连接、承诺和兼容性。过分强调其中一个阶段(例如,仅仅注重化学反应)会降低自身价值。 Logan Ury: 约会应区分'舞会约会'(注重外貌和刺激)和'人生伴侣'(注重成长心态、情商和沟通能力)。在约会初期,可以通过提问来了解对方的深层品质。约会应像科学实验一样,提出假设、进行测试并分析数据。'约会后八问'是一种帮助人们关注约会中真正重要因素的方法。建议总是进行第二次约会,因为第一次约会可能无法准确反映一个人的真实品质。 John Gottman & Julie Gottman: 处理令人遗憾的事件(例如严重的争吵)有助于修复关系。这个过程包括:表达感受、陈述观点、验证对方感受、探讨触发因素和制定改进措施。处理令人遗憾的事件不应在情绪激动时进行,而应在双方冷静下来之后。 Hannah Witton: 即使沟通不完美,也要积极沟通,避免负面情绪积累。选择合适的沟通方式(例如书信、电话)比沟通方式本身更重要。定期进行关系评估有助于维护健康的关系。定期进行关系评估(例如一年一次),在轻松愉快的氛围中回顾关系中的亮点和低谷,并讨论改进措施。在表达负面感受时,使用'我'语句,避免指责对方。

Deep Dive

Chapters
This chapter discusses the components of deep and lasting attraction, including chemistry, perceived value, perceived challenge, and connection, and how miscalculating these can lead to losing one's value in a relationship.

Shownotes Transcript

In today's episode, we're going to be hearing from a group of relationship experts to find out about how we can make our love lives more fulfilling and meaningful. From dating advice to how to handle conflict in long-term relationships, these conversations should give you everything you need to not only find a partner, but maintain a healthy relationship, too. I learned so much from these guests - Matthew Hussey and Logan Ury's advice on compatibility and going on second dates is brilliant, and hearing from the Gottmans and Hannah Witton about positive communication has really improved and strengthened my own relationship. And I even discuss the importance of alone time with Francesca Specter, so we can all remember that it's important to take care of ourselves as well. This episode should have something for everyone - I hope this helps you in your quest for long-lasting love. Enjoy x

(00:00) Intro (01:21) Understanding your value (14:10) Prom date vs. life partner (25:48) Healthy conflict resolution(31:55) The power of purposeful communication (42:53) Together-alone time

📚Check Out My New York Times Bestselling Book Feel-Good Productivity 👉Amazon)Website)

Use my free Relationship Review template to check in with your partner and build a strong and healthy relationship 💖👉 https://play.aliabdaal.com/relationship-review-template)

🔗FULL EPISODES Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Attracting True Love That Lasts) How to Not Die Alone - A Dating Expert's Guide) The Science Behind Why Relationships Last Or Fail - Drs John & Julie Gottman) Sex, Relationships and Everything in Between - Hannah Witton) Alonement: How To Be Alone And Happy - Francesca Specter)

🔗 CONNECT WITH ALI 📲 Join My Telegram Community) 🎥 YouTube Channel) 🐦 Twitter) 📸 Instagram) 💻 Website) 👥 Linkedin)

📚 RESOURCES MENTIONEDHow To Not Die Alone by Logan Ury) Nonviolent Communication by Marshall B. Rosenberg)

📄SHOW NOTES & TRANSCRIPT

Visit the website for the transcript and highlights from the conversation - https://aliabdaal.com/podcast/)

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Deep Dive is the podcast that delves into the minds of entrepreneurs, creators and other inspiring people to uncover the philosophies, strategies and tools that help us live happier, healthier and more productive lives.

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