cover of episode Why You've Not Met Your Person - Matthew Hussey

Why You've Not Met Your Person - Matthew Hussey

2024/4/18
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Deep Dive with Ali Abdaal

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Matthew Hussey: 本书《Love Life》旨在帮助读者提升择偶标准,找到合适的人,并获得幸福。书中探讨了男女在寻找爱情中面临的不同挑战,例如男性需要重新评估自身价值来源,女性需要重新评估择偶标准。作者认为,虽然进化心理学有一定的道理,但我们并非完全无法选择自己被谁吸引,价值观和目标会影响我们的选择。人们对爱情和关系的看法可能分为两个阶段:追求刺激和追求稳定。作者强调,在关系中,需要考虑伴侣感受,但也要维护个人界限,并寻求理解和沟通。当伴侣和父母的期望相冲突时,需要自我同情,并尝试设定健康的界限。作者还探讨了如何克服讨好型人格,设定个人界限,以及如何处理责任与义务的关系。作者认为,真正的自爱不是一种感觉,而是一种责任,即照顾好自己,满足自身需求。我们不应为他人感受完全负责,但我们应对自己的行为负责,并努力创造条件让对方感到快乐。 Ali Abdaal: 与Matthew Hussey的对话中,探讨了在一段关系中,如何平衡个人自主、界限和妥协;当伴侣和父母的期望相冲突时,如何处理;以及如何克服讨好型人格,设定个人界限等问题。Ali Abdaal分享了自己的困惑和经历,并与Matthew Hussey就进化心理学、男性和女性能量、以及责任与义务等话题进行了深入探讨。

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Matthew Hussey discusses the differing challenges men and women face in finding love, including societal expectations and personal values.

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Matthew Hussey is one of the world's leading dating experts and a New York Times Bestselling author who has helped over 10 million people get the love life of their dreams.

In this interview turned coaching session we'll discuss his new book, "Love Life", the challenges of finding love, how to handle other people’s emotional responses and the importance of setting boundaries. 

(00:00) Intro

(1:15) Welcome, Matthew

(4:05) Do men and women have the same challenges when looking for love?

(10:15) Can you choose who to be attracted to?

(17:06) “Life mountains”

(26:35) Question your instincts

(30:20) Masculine vs feminine energy

(37:40) Boundaries 

(46:00) Parents vs partner

(1:00:17) Duty and obligation to parents

(1:11:40) Putting my needs first

(1:23:30) Being responsible for someone else’s feelings

(1:28:00) About finding love 

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🔗 CONNECT WITH ALI

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📚 RESOURCES MENTIONEDThe Second Mountain: The Quest for a Moral Life - David Brooks )

📄SHOW NOTES & TRANSCRIPT

Visit the website for the transcript and highlights from the conversation - https://aliabdaal.com/podcast/)

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