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cover of episode Beyond Resilience — How to Become Shatterproof

Beyond Resilience — How to Become Shatterproof

2025/4/1
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The Art of Manliness

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Brett McKay
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Tasha Urich
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Brett McKay: 本期节目讨论了韧性的局限性,以及如何通过培养‘防碎性’来应对生活中的持续压力和挑战。韧性虽然在短期内有效,但它是一种有限的资源,在长期压力下会枯竭。而‘防碎性’则是一种更可持续的应对策略,它帮助我们积极地利用困境来成长,而不是简单地反弹。 我们探讨了韧性上限的概念,以及如何识别自己是否达到了韧性上限。当我们感到精疲力尽、小事变大、常用的应对策略失效时,就可能达到了韧性上限。 为了变得更‘防碎’,我们需要进行思维转变,从被动应对转向主动拥抱挑战,从简单反弹转向积极成长。我们需要利用自我决定理论来指导我们的行动,满足自身在胜任感、自主性和归属感等方面的心理需求。 节目中还介绍了一些基于研究的工具,例如‘反思最佳自我练习’和‘10%缓冲区’方法来增强自信;‘真实性检查’和‘2-2-2方法’来增强行动自主感;以及增加积极的社交互动和培养深厚的关系来增强归属感。 Tasha Urich: 我分享了我个人经历的健康问题,以及韧性策略在应对长期慢性压力时失效的经历。我被诊断出患有埃勒斯-丹洛斯综合征(EDS),这是一种罕见的遗传性结缔组织疾病。在疾病期间,我尝试了各种韧性策略,例如感恩、寻求社会支持、保持乐观等,但这些策略并不能帮助我克服长期慢性疼痛和疾病带来的身心痛苦。 我开始研究如何超越韧性,最终形成了‘防碎性’的概念。‘防碎性’是指积极地利用困境来成长,而不是简单地反弹。它强调的是利用自身经历的挑战和挫折来获得洞见,并以此为动力去重塑自我,从而更好地适应和应对生活中的挑战。 自我决定理论是理解‘防碎性’的关键。该理论指出,胜任感、自主性和归属感是人类的三种基本心理需求。当这些需求得到满足时,我们就能发挥出最佳状态。而当这些需求受挫时,我们可能会追求‘影子目标’,即快速获得自我价值、权力或认可的捷径,这些目标并不能真正满足我们的需求。 为了变得更‘防碎’,我们需要设定‘防碎型’目标,即那些能满足我们基本心理需求的目标。节目中,我介绍了‘防碎六法’,即提升自我、蓬勃发展、建立联系、给予、原谅和反思。 此外,我还分享了一些基于研究的工具,例如‘反思最佳自我练习’来增强自信;‘10%缓冲区’方法来避免完美主义;‘真实性检查’和‘2-2-2方法’来增强行动自主感;以及关注积极的社交互动和深厚的关系来增强归属感。

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Resilience is often touted as the end all, be all of coping with life's challenges and setbacks. But my guest knows from her studies, executive coaching, and her own life that sometimes resilience just isn't enough. You need an even more durable source of strength.

Dr. Tasha Eurich is an organizational psychologist and researcher and the author of Shatterproof: How to Thrive in a World of Constant Chaos). Today on the show, Tasha explains why the concept of resilience rose to prominence in the 2010s, how resilience can be improved a little as a skill, but is largely an exhaustible capacity, and how you know when you're hitting your "resilience ceiling." We then talk about the more sustainable skillset and strength of becoming shatterproof. We discuss the potential to grow forward instead of simply bouncing back, the psychological needs that have to be met to become shatterproof, and research-backed tools for thriving in life instead of just surviving.

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