How changing your story can change your life (w/ Lori Gottlieb) (re-release)
How to Be a Better Human
Deep Dive
Why are we all unreliable narrators of our own lives?
We are unreliable narrators because our stories are shaped by our subjective perspectives. We emphasize certain details, minimize others, and leave out parts that we may not want to acknowledge, even to ourselves. This selective storytelling influences how we perceive and live our lives.
What is the difference between 'idiot compassion' and 'wise compassion' in therapy?
Idiot compassion involves supporting a friend's version of a story without challenging it, often reinforcing their perspective. Wise compassion, on the other hand, involves helping individuals see their role in a situation and encouraging self-awareness, even if it means holding up a mirror to uncomfortable truths.
How does changing your behavior influence others in relationships?
Changing your behavior can influence others to alter their own actions. If you change your 'dance steps' in a relationship, the other person may either adapt to the new dynamic or choose not to engage. This shift can lead to healthier interactions or reveal incompatibilities.
What are the stages of change in therapy?
The stages of change include pre-contemplation (not considering change), contemplation (thinking about change), preparation (planning for change), action (implementing change), and maintenance (sustaining change). Maintenance is crucial as it involves ongoing effort to prevent relapse and solidify new habits.
Why is self-compassion important in the process of change?
Self-compassion is essential because it helps individuals recover from setbacks without self-flagellation. It encourages accountability while fostering kindness towards oneself, which is more effective in the long term than harsh self-criticism.
How should someone approach finding the right therapist?
The most critical factor in finding the right therapist is the connection you feel with them. After the first session, ask yourself if you felt understood and if the therapist offered a new perspective. It’s also acceptable to consult with multiple therapists to find the best fit.
Why is it important to address both the content and process in therapy?
Addressing both content (the story being told) and process (the underlying dynamics) is crucial because insight alone is not enough. Therapy aims to help individuals make tangible changes in their lives, not just understand their behaviors or patterns.
What should someone consider when deciding to end therapy?
When considering ending therapy, it’s important to assess whether you’ve developed the skills and resources to manage on your own. A good therapist will support your decision and encourage you to return if needed, as their goal is to help you become self-sufficient.
- Many people talk about the benefits of therapy, but few understand how it actually works.
- We are all unreliable narrators of our own lives; our perspectives are subjective and shape our stories.
- The way we narrate our lives shapes what they become.
Shownotes Transcript