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cover of episode How to Change Your Personality with Olga Khazan

How to Change Your Personality with Olga Khazan

2025/4/28
logo of podcast Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

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Forrest Hansen
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Olga Khazan
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Olga Khazan: 我相信人格是可变的,可以通过持续的行动和改变日常行为来改变。我通过改变行为来改变自己的性格,例如为了外向性而积极社交,为了减少神经质而冥想,为了提高宜人性而参加愤怒管理课程和志愿活动等。在改变行为的过程中,我的自我认知也会随之更新。例如,参加即兴表演课后,我更新了自己对表演能力的认知。改变人格的关键是尝试成为你想要成为的人,即使一开始是“假装”,最终也能成为那样的人。减少神经质可以通过内在的练习,例如感恩日记、积极思考和正念冥想等。“双箭理论”帮助我认识到,对负面事件的过度自责会加剧痛苦,而自我同情和接纳才是更好的应对方式。活在当下,珍惜当下每一刻的快乐,而不是等待未来的幸福。接纳承诺疗法(ACT)提供了一个平衡改变与保持积极自我的框架,帮助应对改变过程中出现的负面情绪。我意识到很多自我认知是基于他人评价,而非自身真实感受,这促使我重新审视自我。即使遗传因素影响人格,我们仍然可以改变自己,专注于可控因素,并从父母身上继承积极品质。成为母亲后,我的神经质程度进一步降低,因为为人父母让我对生活有了新的视角,并体验到持续的快乐。 Forrest Hansen: 我们讨论了人格的可变性,以及如何通过改变行为来改变人格。自我认知会影响行为,改变行为可以改变自我认知。培养自信和自我效能感是人格改变的关键。接纳自我与改变自我并非对立,接纳可以促进改变。在改变的过程中,我们需要平衡接纳和改变,并应对可能出现的负面情绪。

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Shownotes Transcript

Can we really change our personalities? In this episode, Forrest is joined by someone who’s actually tried most of the things we talk about on the podcast: journalist and author Olga Khazan. Olga shares the personal experiments that led to her becoming more extroverted and agreeable, and less neurotic. They discuss the Big Five personality traits, how behavior shapes identity, the role of self-concept, authenticity, and some of the common challenges people face when trying to change a core aspect of who they are.

**About Our Guest: **Olga Khazan is a writer at The Atlantic, where she covers health, culture, and the complexities of human behavior. She's the author of Weird: The Power of Being an Outsider in an Insider World and her new book Me, But Better: The Science and Promise of Personality Change.

You can__ watch this episode on YouTube__).

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:15: Olga’s personal background with personality change

5:20: Age, extroversion, self-concept, and Olga’s improv classes

10:10: Unconditional positive regard, meditation, and mindfulness

20:55: Trying on different traits, and acceptance vs. change

24:25: Conscientiousness, openness, agreeableness, and individualism

36:20: Changing at the ‘trait level’, and the changes Olga has embraced most

43:50: Psychedelics, non-self, and identifying what’s really true

53:50: Nature vs. nurture and the aspects we can’t change

56:30: Parenting and personality change

1:02:05: Recap

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