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cover of episode How to Get On the Same Team: Relationship Mailbag

How to Get On the Same Team: Relationship Mailbag

2025/3/31
logo of podcast Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

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Forrest Hansen
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Rick Hansen
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Rick Hansen: 我认为,有效处理关系问题需要设身处地地理解双方的感受,并结合主观感受和客观事实进行分析。在表达不满时,应避免直接指责,而应描述自身感受和由此产生的影响,并提出具体的请求。同时,要认识到文化背景对行为判断的影响,并尝试用非暴力沟通的方式进行交流。处理关系问题的关键在于双方是否同心协力,将问题视为共同挑战而非个人问题。批评他人时,应注意语气、必要性以及行为与人格的分离。 面对批评,应理性分析其有效性,并将其转化为自我改进的动力。在处理因情绪处理速度差异导致的冲突时,关键在于设定合理的‘暂停时间’,并尝试理解对方的视角和感受,共同解决问题。处理关系问题,应优先考虑双方共同成长和改变的可能性,而非轻易放弃。关系问题多源于‘不愿改变’而非‘无法改变’,通过努力和改进,很多问题都能得到解决。评估伴侣改变的速度,决定是否继续维持关系,并尝试加速其改变。设定界限与愤怒无关,可以源于自爱、对伴侣的关爱或自我保护。设定界限是为了保护自己,避免受到伤害,这与保持开放的心态并不矛盾。 Forrest Hansen: 解决关系问题关键在于双方是否同心协力,将问题视为共同挑战而非个人问题。面对批评,应理性分析其有效性,并将其转化为自我改进的动力。在处理因情绪处理速度差异导致的冲突时,应尝试理解对方的视角和感受,共同解决问题。处理关系问题时,要判断伴侣改变的速度,并尝试加速其改变。设定界限与愤怒无关,可以源于自爱、对伴侣的关爱或自我保护。设定界限是为了保护自己,避免受到伤害,这与保持开放的心态并不矛盾。子女是否会复制父母的负面行为模式,取决于多种因素,包括个人动机和社会支持。

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Dr. Rick and Forrest answer questions focused on navigating common relationship conflicts, focusing on situations where people need to find a middle path between different needs. The discussion covers balancing sensitivity with directness, bridging differences in emotional processing speeds, setting healthy boundaries without anger, and understanding how childhood patterns influence adult relationships. Throughout, they explore how couples can move from seeing issues as "me problems" to "we problems," emphasizing the importance of being on the same team and strengthening connection.

You can watch this episode on YouTube).

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:50: How do I know if I’m being too sensitive or my partner’s being too harsh?

13:30: I need space to process; my partner wants to resolve things immediately. How do we bridge the gap?

20:55: How do I determine whether or not a relationship problem is a dealbreaker?

33:00: How can I discern between rumination and useful anxiety?

41:40: How can I honor my need for self-protection while maintaining my naturally open heart?

49:15: If parents have certain problematic traits, are their children more likely to develop those traits as well?

56:00: Recap

Rumination Course: Rick’s 5-week online course Breaking Out of Rumination starts on March 29th. Rumination is a big pain point for many people, and this course will help you learn how to break repetitive patterns of thought. Learn more at RickHanson.com/ruminating), and use coupon code BeingWell25 to receive a 25% discount.

**Support the Podcast: **We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.)

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