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cover of episode What to Do When Your Worst Fears Come True: Mailbag

What to Do When Your Worst Fears Come True: Mailbag

2025/2/17
logo of podcast Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

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Forrest Hansen
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Rick Hansen
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Rick Hansen: 当我们最害怕的事情发生时,我们可以通过"接纳、放下、融入"三个步骤来应对痛苦。首先,接纳并觉察自己的感受,区分事件本身的痛苦(第一支箭)和我们对事件的放大和扭曲(第二支箭)。然后,放下那些我们自己添加的负面情绪和想法,特别是那些加剧痛苦的"第二支箭"。最后,用积极的感受来取代负面的感受,例如用"我是个好人"来取代"我是个坏人"。我们可以将自己视为"生命中的探险家",积极面对挫折,并从中学习。将生活视为自己的"游戏",积极利用经验来实现目标。 Forrest Hansen: 在处理他人反馈时,我们可以放慢速度,明确自己的目标,并尝试从改进自身表现的角度来看待反馈,而不是将其视为对个人能力的否定。我们可以将反馈视为信息,并从中学习改进。 Rick Hansen: "融入美好"的时间没有确切的标准,但一般建议至少保持一两个呼吸的时间,甚至更长。我们可以通过增加冥想对象的刺激性,例如行走冥想,来提高冥想效果。 Rick Hansen: 在社交场合应对社交焦虑,可以在非社交场合进行心理练习,例如通过想象来模拟社交场景,并练习应对焦虑的技巧。 Rick Hansen: 在支持伴侣应对焦虑时,应该从"加入"而非"建议"的角度出发,尝试理解伴侣的感受,并从同理心的角度提供支持。在支持伴侣的同时,也要照顾好自己的需求。 Rick Hansen: 冥想中的焦虑可能是因为缺乏刺激或触及到未处理的情绪。可以尝试缩短冥想时间、增加刺激(例如行走冥想)、或选择更具吸引力的冥想对象(例如感恩或爱)。将冥想视为"回家"的过程,而非痛苦的任务。

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Dr. Rick and Forrest open up the mailbag and answer questions from listeners, many of which focused on anxiety experiences. They start by discussing “dreaded experiences,” and how we can respond when our worst fears come true. Rick then shares how we can respond effectively to feedback, before answering a short question about taking in the good. Forrest and Rick then answer three questions related to different kinds of anxiety: social anxiety, managing different levels of concern in a relationship, and anxiety brought on by slowing down. 

You can watch this episode on YouTube).

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:00: How do you handle situations where you really fear something, and then it actually happens?

10:45: How can I become more receptive to feedback, and respond with less defensiveness?

19:00: How long do I need to “take in the good” for?

22:55: How can I work with my anxious parts when navigating social anxiety?

29:20: How can I support a partner who experiences a lot of anxiety?

40:40: Why am I struggling so hard with mindfulness meditation?

48:00: Recap

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