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cover of episode 我只打过一次小孩,非常后悔

我只打过一次小孩,非常后悔

2025/1/6
logo of podcast 王路在隐身

王路在隐身

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猫宁
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猫宁:我的成长经历充满了与母亲的冲突和矛盾。从小的物质和精神需求得不到满足,母亲的控制欲和强势性格让我感到窒息。例如,母亲强迫我购买昂贵的金项链,让我在公共场合感到极度尴尬和羞耻,这种事情不断发生,让我对母亲的控制和干涉感到厌烦和无奈。 母亲对我的婚姻也极度干涉,她看中我丈夫的高收入,却对丈夫的为人处世方式不满,甚至干涉我们的财务,认为丈夫的钱应该归她所有。这种观念让我感到无奈和痛苦,也直接导致了我和丈夫与母亲之间多次激烈的冲突。 母亲的性格极端,情绪难以控制,经常无缘无故地发脾气,甚至对丈夫进行人身攻击,导致丈夫离家出走。她还干涉丈夫的家庭事务,反对丈夫帮助其兄嫂在县城做生意,多次到丈夫住处大吵大闹,甚至导致自己受伤。 母亲的行为模式让我感到疲惫和无奈,我尝试过沟通和解释,但收效甚微。她的行为已经严重影响到我的生活和婚姻,我感到身心俱疲。 此外,母亲还患有严重的心理问题,表现为中度焦虑、轻度抑郁和中度精神疾病,但她本人并不承认,拒绝接受治疗。这使得我难以处理与母亲的关系,也让我对未来感到担忧。 我意识到自己过去的行为也存在问题,我是一个‘巨婴’,依赖父母,却无法满足母亲过高的需求。而母亲的原生家庭创伤和性格缺陷,也加剧了家庭矛盾。 现在,我与母亲的关系处于一种表面平静的状态,我们尽量避免冲突,但潜在的矛盾依然存在。我正在努力寻找平衡点,既要照顾父母,又要保护自己的生活和婚姻。

Deep Dive

Key Insights

Why did the speaker feel embarrassed while shopping for a gold necklace with her mother?

The speaker felt embarrassed because she was overweight (140 pounds at 5'5"), making her neck short and thick, which she believed made the necklace look unattractive. Additionally, she sensed the salespeople's judgmental looks, which heightened her discomfort.

What caused tension between the speaker's mother and her husband?

Tension arose because the mother believed her husband should share his finances with her daughter, and by extension, with her. She was dissatisfied when he refused to let her manage his money, leading to frequent conflicts and accusations of him being uncooperative.

How did the speaker's mother react when her husband's brother and sister-in-law moved to their town?

The mother was upset and demanded that the speaker force her husband's brother and sister-in-law to leave, believing they were taking advantage of her daughter's resources. She even went to the husband's workplace to accuse them of stealing business opportunities.

What incident led to the speaker's mother being hospitalized?

The mother was hospitalized after a physical altercation with the speaker's husband. She claimed he hit her, but he explained that she had tried to push him down the stairs and accidentally hit her head on a stair edge. The incident resulted in her needing stitches.

Why did the speaker's mother refuse to take prescribed medication?

The mother refused to take medication because she did not believe she had any mental health issues. Despite being diagnosed with moderate anxiety and depression, she dismissed the diagnosis and resisted treatment, often stopping her blood pressure medication as well.

What was the speaker's experience with her parents' frequent conflicts?

The speaker grew up witnessing frequent violent fights between her parents, which often left her scared and emotionally scarred. She recalled instances where her mother would physically attack her father, and neither parent seemed concerned about the impact on her.

How did the speaker's husband demonstrate care for her family during her father's hospitalization?

The speaker's husband showed care by preparing nutritious meals, such as turtle soup, for her father during his hospitalization. This thoughtful gesture highlighted his attentiveness and support, contrasting with the speaker's self-described lack of initiative in caregiving.

What was the speaker's mother's attitude toward financial matters and investments?

The mother had a risky attitude toward finances, often lending money to unreliable acquaintances in hopes of high returns. This behavior led to significant financial losses, as she frequently lost both the principal and interest on these loans.

Chapters
讲述了作者20多岁时,母亲强迫她戴金项链参加公务员面试的经历,以及由此引发的矛盾和尴尬。突出了母亲不体谅作者感受,以及作者内心的无奈和痛苦。
  • 母亲强迫作者戴金项链参加公务员面试
  • 作者因母亲的要求感到尴尬和丢脸
  • 母女俩因金项链发生争吵

Shownotes Transcript

嘉宾:猫宁

猫宁聊了和父母尤其是妈妈的故事。她能够健康地成长到现在非常不容易。

08:00 我一接电话,听到我老公是哭着的,我就吓一跳

18:00 我爸现在70多岁了,我妈也快70了

28:00 不住一起我也没法天天盯着她吃药

39:00 我爸话特别多,他感受不到我妈情绪的临界点

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我从一起录播客的嘉宾朋友们身上看到了很多闪光的品质,这是俗世生活的极大安慰。

本播客持续招募嘉宾。如果您有兴趣讲述自己的故事,请发邮件到[email protected],内容包括简短的自我介绍和对故事的一两句概括。