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cover of episode Vol.97 工作可以Gap,但生活不能

Vol.97 工作可以Gap,但生活不能

2024/12/22
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自由人Libero

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加七:我选择Gap是为了休息,摆脱之前高强度工作带来的身心疲惫和创作瓶颈。在北京的快节奏都市生活中,我感到缺乏想象力和新的灵感,因此选择去泸沽湖和摩梭村落,体验不同文化和生活方式,并以此为契机重新审视自我,寻找新的方向。Gap期间,我面临着经济压力、未来职业规划的焦虑以及远离熟悉人际关系的恐惧。然而,在泸沽湖的三个月完全放松,让我得以重新积蓄能量,并最终适应了摩梭村落慢节奏的生活。在摩梭村落,我观察到母系氏族与父权制社会的不同,并对女性在社会中的地位和处境有了更深刻的理解。我逐渐克服了对休息和经济来源的羞耻感,并学会了与家人坦诚沟通,获得他们的支持。在摩梭村落,我体会到真正的“被看见”并非来自成就和才华,而是来自真诚的互动和对他人付出的行动。我逐渐接受了自己的有限性,不再执着于改变世界或青史留名,而是更关注身边的人和事,并从中获得满足感。 佳琪:我理解加七在Gap期间的感受,并肯定了她所做的尝试和努力。我们过去的工作方式和生活节奏都非常紧凑,在团队解散后,我同样经历了孤独和迷茫。然而,加七在Gap期间的经历和感悟,也让我对生活有了新的思考。我看到了她对自我认知的提升,以及对不同生活方式的探索。我也意识到,都市生活对边界感的过度强调,可能会阻碍人与人之间的真正连接。加七在摩梭村落的生活,让我对“we work”有了新的理解,也让我对女性之间的“sisterhood”以及它在面对痛苦时的重要性有了更深刻的认识。加七的经历,也让我对电影《好东西》有了新的解读,它所展现的女性友好的环境和对未来的希望,是我目前非常需要的。最后,我想给想要Gap的朋友一些建议:诚实面对自己,做好经济准备,给自己足够的时间休息和思考,并接受生活中的不确定性和挑战。

Deep Dive

Key Insights

Why did Jiaqi choose to go to Lugu Lake for her gap year?

Jiaqi chose Lugu Lake primarily to rest and recharge after three years of intense podcasting, where her output exceeded her input. She felt a need to step away from the routine of her life in Beijing and explore a different way of living.

What are some of the psychological barriers Jiaqi faced during her gap year?

Jiaqi faced several psychological barriers, including the shame associated with not working, especially as a woman. She also struggled with the fear of financial instability and the societal stigma of taking a break from her career, which is often viewed negatively in professional settings.

How does the matriarchal society of the Mosuo people differ from patriarchal societies?

In Mosuo society, the family lineage and inheritance are traced through the mother's side, and children belong to the mother's family. Men visit women at night in a practice known as 'walking marriage,' but the children are raised by the mother's family, and the father has no formal role in the child's upbringing.

What challenges did Jiaqi face in adapting to the Mosuo community?

Jiaqi faced challenges such as language barriers, cultural differences, and the need to rebuild her social support system from scratch. She also experienced loneliness and had to navigate her way into the community, which required patience and understanding of local customs.

How did Jiaqi handle instances of sexual harassment during her stay?

Jiaqi handled instances of sexual harassment by setting clear boundaries. With locals, she addressed the issue directly in the presence of others to ensure her safety and to make her stance known. For non-locals, she simply blocked them to avoid further interaction.

What insights did Jiaqi gain about herself during her gap year?

During her gap year, Jiaqi gained a deeper understanding of her own preferences and passions, realizing she is more drawn to artistic and creative pursuits rather than commercial or financial endeavors. She also became more comfortable with her limitations and learned to accept her vulnerabilities.

Chapters
加七在工作五年后选择去泸沽湖Gap,主要原因是想休息、摆脱北京的快节奏生活,并寻找新的生活灵感。在泸沽湖的三个月,她过着自然醒、写作、休闲的生活,为之后在摩梭村落的生活积蓄能量。
  • 工作五年后选择Gap休息
  • 摆脱北京快节奏生活,寻找新的生活灵感
  • 在泸沽湖三个月,过着自然醒、写作、休闲的生活

Shownotes Transcript

「和一百个女孩对话系列」长期开放投稿,联系方式:[email protected]

自由人团队解散之后,每个人都有了新的生活,而我们身边的很多人在这一年中也都陆续离职或在做着非全日制的工作。不上班真的很快乐,但Gap之后也有各不相同的痛苦、焦虑和迷茫。加七在今年四月去了泸沽湖,之后又来到摩梭人母系氏族的村落,在这大半年的时间里,她对生活有了更多思考和认知,那个带着赤诚和炙热曾想要改变世界的女孩,如今更臣服于生命,但她依然在用她的方式改变着些什么...

| 本期飞行主播 |

加七宋:正在摩梭母系家庭探索的自由人

小红书:加七宋

| 内容导览 |

00:02:47 加七为什么会选择去泸沽湖Gap

00:08:23 Gap之后的现实以及心理障碍

00:13:31 被性骚扰的经历以及怎样处理

00:17:20 Gap之后的两次心理重建

00:18:19 母系氏族下的生活与父权制的不同

00:21:31 女性对于Gap的耻感

00:30:29 加七母亲付姐目前的生活和变化

00:33:34 母女关系与课题分离

00:37:16 要面对真实的自己,要对自己诚实

00:43:07 重新思考什么是真正的被看到

00:45:30 是否远离都市的Gap生活有很大不同

00:50:25 过去我们是否过分强调边界感了

00:56:21 在泸沽湖实现真正的we work

00:59:10 Gap后的孤独与迷茫

01:05:50 有些东西被永远地剥夺了

01:10:59 生命需要确定和仪式

01:14:08 附近性的实践

01:16:59 《好东西》的鼓舞和启发

01:21:36 记录历史的重要性

01:23:54 给要Gap的朋友一点小建议

| 本期提及书影音|

书籍:《脏活》

电影:《好东西》

| 本期音乐 |

片头曲:李星宇作品,感谢支持

片尾曲:快乐-坏特

背景音乐歌单)

| 制作团队 |

本期主播、剪辑:

马一萌 微博@马一萌yimeng)、小红书:一萌):环游世界的前电影制片,京城食神,双语主持人

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