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Why We Struggle With Commitment

2025/5/20
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Sex With Emily
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Dr. Emily Morse
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Dr. Scott Lyons
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Dr. Emily Morse: 我在恋爱关系中尝试过承诺，但我更倾向于可以重新评估的间歇性承诺。对我来说，传统的承诺方式，比如融合、合二为一，会让我感到被束缚，失去自由。我从小就觉得必须掌控一切，不能依赖他人，这可能影响了我对承诺的看法。我认为，承诺不应该意味着失去自我，而应该是在保持个人空间和自由的前提下，与伴侣建立清晰、明确的关系。 Dr. Scott Lyons: 我认为承诺的本质是团结和放手，是走到一起然后释放彼此。对我来说，承诺能减少我的焦虑，让我感到安全和亲近。但是，我也理解承诺可能给人带来被困住的感觉。重要的是，我们要重新定义承诺，让它不再是限制，而是促进彼此成长和释放的途径。同时，我也认为过度承诺也是一种承诺问题，需要我们关注。

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Chapters
This chapter explores the concept of commitment, examining its traditional connotations of restriction versus its potential for release and freedom. It introduces the contrasting perspectives of commitment phobia versus the desire for intimacy and security.
  • The Latin root of commitment suggests both togetherness and release.
  • Commitment is often perceived as a trap or prison, rather than a path to growth.
  • The pressure of merging into one entity in a relationship can be overwhelming for some.

Shownotes Transcript

In this episode of the Sex with Emily podcast, we dive into the complexities of commitment by exploring our contrasting perspectives—one of us grappling with a fear of merging in relationships, the other reflecting on a tendency to overcommit. We unpack how childhood experiences, parental relationship models, and societal pressures shape our views on intimacy, boundaries, and compatibility. From the gamification of dating culture to generational differences in approaching relationships, we examine the challenges Gen X and Gen Z face in defining commitment. We also discuss the emotional weight of erectile dysfunction and the unrealistic expectations placed on male sexuality. Through honest conversation, we question traditional norms and explore the idea that commitment doesn’t have to be one-size-fits-all—sometimes, a redefined or intermittent approach may lead to healthier, more fulfilling connections.

Show Notes:

00:00:00 - Commitment Phobia

00:02:21 - Commitment & Relationship Anxiety

04:40 - Commitment & Childhood Trauma

07:39 - Commitment Phobia & Dynamics

10:25 - Commitment, Casual Sex & Polyamory

13:10 - Commitment Issues & Attachment

15:14 - Avoidant Attachment & Dynamics

17:41 - Commitment vs. Incompatibility

20:00 - Commitment & "Perfect" Partners

22:20 - Dating Exhaustion & Sex Drought

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