The Art of Talking Money in Any Relationship
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Today, we are talking about how money affects relationships and getting into some of the dilemmas. And this is not the romantic kind. This is just money and relationships. Handling money differently than your in-laws. All right, next category, co-workers. The group gift one kind of, it bothers me a little bit. Hey guys, I'm Rachel Cruz. I'm George Campbell. And this is Smart Money Happy Hour. Cheers.

This is the show where two friends who happen to be money experts talk about what you're talking about. Everything from pop culture, current events, and money. We are sipping on a sparkling pink mocktail, which just sounds like the description of the drink doesn't tell you a lot about it. But it is all of those things, and it's very good. So stick around until the end. We're going to give you the rating and reveal the cost per glass. Beautiful. All right.

Here's how we got here. We came across an article about a husband and wife with an extra large wage gap who shared their story on a financial podcast recently. Here's the story. Gina earns $555,000 a year as a New York City attorney. James, her husband, earns $60,000 as a freelance musician. The couple uses Gina's salary to travel throughout the year and invest 14%, but they're starting to struggle with this wide income gap. Here's the quotes. Gina said...

And I quote, James said,

How would you coach them? If they called into the Ramsey show, we're sitting there, what would you say to Gina and James? Yeah, to me, it's less about the income gap. It's more about where do you guys want to be as a family? So, yeah, you can get used to living on what they're making. And in New York City, right, it doesn't go as far as other places. Yeah.

But I would decide, okay, what do we need to make to enjoy our life and not feel this like weird pressure, right? Because I mean, I do think there could be a point that she's able to step away and do something else, not making as much, or maybe she has more flexibility, more time, and she doesn't feel this pressure on her, right? So that would be what I would get to is more of, hey, what do you have to make as a household to run peacefully and enjoy life? But also whoever brings in the money

I don't know. It's just never been a thing. And Winston and I have been through different seasons. I mean, honestly, like we kind of can flip-flop years. Like he makes more some years, I make more. Like it...

And it's never like a big thing, but maybe it's because we're so close. If it was so spread out, maybe I would feel different, but I don't. Well, if she's making 10 times what he's making, he just feels, I think there's a societal pressure of, well, the man needs to be the provider and there shouldn't be this giant gap or she's the breadwinner. I think times have changed. And now you can be a woman in New York City making 600 grand. Oh, totally. And so I would celebrate that. Can I ask this though? Do you think there's anything in a dude...

that's like, man, like you do want to produce. Like is there something wired? Yeah, like there's like a thing there. I think so. Because I think for like Winston, like if I quit, I know he would like landscape yards if he had. Like he would just, he's just a workhorse. Like he would just work. He would figure out a way to make money and be like, yeah, I'll take it. Like I don't feel this pressure that I have to in that sense because whatever he does,

Does that make sense? I don't know. But he has that wired in him. Well, there's also a piece of, I think you need to be a healthy person. And if you're an unhealthy person who's always comparing and you need to keep up and stack up, you're always going to feel like you're not enough. And so I don't know. I think they're always going to have a discrepancy.

I don't know that a freelance musician in New York City at his level is going to make 600 grand anytime soon. So I wouldn't plan for that. I would just celebrate the fact that she makes a great income. Let's use it to our advantage, live on less than we make, stack away money, so that one day if she wanted to take a step back or let's say stay home with kids one day, if that was her dream, she could do that and they'd be okay. Yes, for sure. No, that's a good point. Yeah, and I think the resentment of the...

being done that he's not helping with. That was the other piece. Yeah, and I mean, that to me is like... Has she communicated these unseen tasks? I was gonna say 101 communication and making that much. I'm like, do you go on care.com and hire someone for four hours a week to come to? You know what I mean? Like there's a point that you're like, do you have the ability to outsource if neither of you are like, have the time? I mean, who knows what his schedule is even though he's not making a ton. It doesn't mean he's just sitting around. I mean, I don't know. But that has to,

If I was her, I'd sit down with him and have a calm conversation, not an emotionally charged, like, I'm always doing all this stuff and you never... Yeah, it's a never you. It's a hey. Here's what I'm experiencing. I'm getting home. I'm doing all these things. What's a good solution? Could we get someone to help out at the house? Yes. Maybe do the house cleaning, wherever the chores are that feel like they're weighing on her to alleviate him from feeling this weird...

Like, oh gosh, I never even knew that you were upset about this. Or maybe he steps up and says, oh gosh, I didn't realize that. For sure, I can, you know, X, Y, and Z. So, I mean, communication is, that's gonna be a theme here, people. It's a little foreshadowing for you. You are right though. It is more than ever that we're seeing women out earn men. Yes. That is happening within a relationship. I mean, that is becoming more and more common. So I do think it's something that you do have to be, have a level of security, but also a nod to like, yeah, he may still wanna like,

Make money and produce, right? Where some guys may not feel that. I don't know. If you're a woman, I would say don't hold that over their head like they're lesser than because they don't make as much as you. And men, don't feel so insecure that you're like, oh, I got to keep up or else I'm not enough. Totally. Go to therapy and deal with the underlying issues. And find what gives you life and what kind of scratches that is. It may not equal dollar amount, but at least you're feeling productive. Yes. Because I do think that's important. And celebrate the fact that one of you is making bank. That's right. That's a wonderful thing. Amen. Hello.

No shame in that. All right, let's go into some money and relationships, George. Category number one is family. And when you get into inheritances, properties, if parents pass away, your adult kids are now dealing with the money situation and all of it. Wills, who was in the will, who's getting what, who should get what. And if it's not clear, that's where a lot of the...

kind of family conflict starts to arise. The question and the tension, yeah. Yeah, it's either conflict or it's just completely stressful because no one knows where anything is, right? So I do think there is something to be said to sit down and have a conversation with your family about this. It's a really loving thing to do, right? I'm like, and I know people watching this are either like the adult children. Maybe they're not at the age where they're gonna do this. Maybe you are, I don't know. But yeah,

Just being able to say, yeah, here's what's going to be going on in the family. That's a very kind thing for parents to do, age appropriately. But once your kids hit adult age... Have open conversations about this. Don't let it be a surprise. And then a few checkpoints. Make sure that you have a will in place.

If you're an adult, you need a will. Regardless of who you are, what your income, any of that, you need a will saying, here's my wishes. I know it's not fun. Get it done. You can do it online. Number two, you need term life insurance if you have someone that relies on your income, which would be spouse or kids. Yes. Get that in place and make it very clear on who's getting what. We've had calls in the Ramsey show where they're like, hey, there's a property, it's a cabin and it's split between my family.

Five, my dad and his four siblings. And when they pass it to us, it's gonna go to like the 20 cousins. And I'm like, don't overcomplicate things. Make it simple and you get to do what you want. If one of your kids has terrible habits and you don't wanna give money to them, you don't have an obligation to give money to them. Right. And if you wanna split it evenly amongst all the kids, great. If you wanna give it all to charity and give nothing to your kids, you can do that too. Yeah, but communicate it is the key there.

Okay, next, handling money differently than your in-laws. We get this call on the Ramsey Show a lot. And I think the rub is, because to me, I'm like, we're always gonna do things differently than all of our, even like my parents, right? Like not just the money, but the way you raise your kids, what you let them do or don't do, how you discipline. I'm like, your life decisions are going to be different than your parents and your in-laws, period, right? So I think we all need to be comfortable with that. I think it's when they're not respectful of you

said decisions. Boundaries or decisions. Yeah, and a lot of it what we hear on The Ramsey Show is even like trips. Like, hey, we're trying to get out of debt and our in-laws are guilting us into going on this trip and they're not paying for it. We have to pay for it, but we don't have the money right now. Like, it's this whole like tension, right? I think that's where I see it the most is like in-laws are wanting to do something. Or the, you know, like the daughter...

Like the mom told the daughter, hey, here's what you should do. But the husband disagrees. And now it's like mother-in-law versus husband. You know what they call that? Triangling. Triangling. Is that a therapy term? Yes, yep. Don't triangle. Don't triangle. And it gets messy. So what do we usually tell them? Here's what I would say is this is between the daughter and the mom.

The husband, the in-law son, should not get involved and be like, hey, mother-in-law, here's what... In what? What are you talking about? In the conversation about boundaries. About what? The vacation? Oh, boundaries. About whatever the boundary is. Oh, yes. Oh, yeah, yeah. When you're having the boundary conversation, yes. Yes.

Family on family. Do family on family. Yes, family on family. I don't think that like as the son-in-law, I should get involved. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's fair. I think it's cleaner. Yes. If you go to your... But it's tough because you're pinning two people. Paternal, maternal parent. Who do you listen to? Mom, who I love and trust, or husband, who I'm doing life with. And you have to go, all right, we disagree on this as a couple, so therefore we need to be aligned. Yes. The couple needs to be aligned first. Yes.

100%. And so it can get awkward. Tricky. But we say like, just set boundaries. It's a really difficult conversation to have with someone who's not ready to hear that or will not understand that or take that to heart. Yes, 100%. Because they then have to respect the boundary. And if they don't, you then have to distance and go, okay, they don't respect the boundary. We can't do this. Keep going down this road because it's not gonna be good. I know, that's hard. It's so hard. All right, next, aging parents or aging single relatives. Yes.

So again, you're having to maybe take care of what is happening with the aging parents, but they could be reluctant. Like you want to help and they go, no, no, no, no, no, I'm fine. I'll deal with it. Yep. And at that point, you can't control them. So it's like, all right, we're going to have to deal with it. Yeah. And a lot of times it's out of a good place. They don't want to be a burden.

But if you're really wanting to help and you have the ability to help, whether that's with your time, your resources, your money, then do it. Do it as a gift. Do it out of the kindness of your heart. No ulterior motives. But we get this call a lot where they go, my parents haven't saved a dime for retirement. They're broke and I'm worried it's going to become my problem. Yes. What do we do? Yes. So step one is you need to have this conversation with them and say...

Do you realize where you're at financially? Here's what I'm seeing. And not out of place of judgment, out of place of I love you as my parents. I want to see you guys be able to retire with dignity and have the best life possible. Here's what I'm thinking. Yep. And they have to be open to it. You can't force them. No, not at all. And at the end of the day, they have to make decisions. And I think if there's a willingness there to say, oh yeah, let's try to do something differently and you're able to help, stepping in and guiding that is,

But then after a while, it is like, oh my gosh, they're just going to blow the money. Like, what do we do? Right? So I think that's a hard thing. That's a hard conversation and responsibility that you feel as a kid, right? When you're watching your parents making harmful decisions for themselves. But yeah, it's tough. That's a tough one. All right, next category, co-workers. So co-workers hanging out outside of work or everyone's like, let's go get lunch out.

This is you and me. But some people are like, let's get all the appetizers, George. Rachel wants to go to the fancy restaurant, get all the apps, get desserts, YOLO. But, you know, a lot of people that we talk to that are doing the Ramsey plan, they're getting out of debt. They'll talk about this at all their coworkers go out to lunch all the time. And they're like, I'm just not spending money going out to lunch every day. Like, I'm going to- And how do you say no without being the fuddy-duddy? I know. And you're like, no, I'm good.

They're like, come on, just come out. We'll cover it. You're like, no, I'm good. Do you say yes? We'll cover it? What if they say they'll cover it? Sure. Thanks. Absolutely. Rachel's taking her friend to meal. No, I do think after a while, though, if you build a relationship and know enough of like, oh, yeah, they're getting out of debt. There's a purpose why. Yeah. You know, usually. Or maybe you just don't like your coworkers.

And you can share that. It could be a great way to share like, hey, I'm doing this plan and right now I'm trying this no spend month. Yes. And they're like, what? Tell me more. Yeah. I'm trying to get out of debt. But it is hard. I do know friends that have been in the same type of environment and one just keeps getting promoted, right? And then it is this like, oh my gosh, difference in salary too, even within the company. Your budget's different on how much you can spend eating out compared to the other person. How about obligatory gifts? Yes.

for co-workers or leaders at work yeah meal trains that's a big one yes i do love a meal train i try to do it i'm not always a great at following through but i think it is one of the biggest blessings to do for someone did our meal train when we had mia you came by and brought us a great meal you brought a great gift so thank you for that you're so welcome george the group gift one kind of it bothers me a little bit you know what i learned i think on this show

We did like a manners episode or something. Did we not? And you're not supposed to technically get a gift for your leader. But is it weird to give a gift to your team members than if you get one for everyone? No, you know what? Or else it's favoritism. I get them for the girls. I don't do this every year. Again, I have such good intention. We're leaving out the guys now? I have such good intention. But there's been a few years I'll go and get like a bunch of like earrings or something, you know.

Yeah, I don't get... A girl gift. I don't know if I ever got stuff for the guys. Just cash would be nice. Sorry, y'all. Cash would be nice. Come on. It's all dudes here except Kelly. Do you get gifts for the team? I have years past. You have, I know. To more like key team members. I know there's a woman in the back. We love you, Eboo. Great drink, by the way. Makes a mean drink. A woman in the back.

I think something small. I don't think like it feels weird to do something outrageous unless they really like. Sure. You know, but I think it's a nice thing to do. I agree. I know. I prefer. I'm just, I'm terrible. It's not my love language. I'm really terrible at. You know what your experience is over gifts. I'd rather do like a fun end of year party or something for the team. I thought that. Should we throw one together for this team?

I think we have to now. I think you just threw it out there. I genuinely thought that sounds so much more fun. And like bring a significant other and we'll like, yeah. Yes. We have recently done happy hours for the team. Not smart money happy hour, but a happy hour for the smart money happy hour team. Yes, that's right. So we're sort of doing those, which is fun. Thanks, Kelly, for heading that up. Thanks, Kelly. You're the best. We didn't head that up. Kelly did. But you showed up. It's funny. It's like we're such a

You both came. We're such givers. Yeah, we did not plan this party. We did not pay for this party. We had no thought to start it, but we came. Gosh darn it.

We showed up and we blessed everyone with a present, which is the true gift. Oh my gosh. A lot of blurred lines with these, Rachel. I know. You know what else has some blurred lines? What's that? The internet. I see what you did there. And our personal info that is all over the internet. It is amazing in our world today how often we are filling out forms, we are buying stuff online, and a lot of these companies then will sell your data, your email address, your address, your phone number, to you.

to data broker websites and then they sell your data again. It just goes through and it's terrible. That's why we love and use Delete Me. Yes, they'll find and remove your data from all of these sites like creepypeoplefinder.com and you're like, why does it know my agent address and I don't want that out there. And then that's how you get all these scam, you know, fraud texts that you may or may not fall for. USBs.

So it reduces all of that spam you're getting. It reduces the risk of fraud. And so for that, it is totally, totally worth it. It's super affordable. And they're giving our listeners and viewers an extra deal. So you can get 20% off any of the plans if you go to joindelete.me.com slash smartmoney or click the link in the show notes. Yep, check it out. All right, next is roommates. So splitting up costs fairly.

for everyone or does it depend on what you make? Like, what's the situation? Well, there's the like, well, you have the bigger room with the bathroom attached. Okay. Therefore, you pay more. I do think that is true. I would make them pay more. I think you should pay more. Garages, the people use the garage. I think you pay more for that. Oh, I didn't think about that one. Mm-hmm.

Wow. What about decor? Like who's bringing the furniture? Who's going to make it look nice? This gets very testy because usually there's one person who cares and wants to, who wants it to be clean. One person who wants it to look nice. Usually the same person. Yes. And there's the other who could give a rip. And so you're like, well, do you make them pay for half of the decor? Or because I feel like you shouldn't because that's something you care about, not them. Yeah, but you are going to be enjoying it. Versus a necessity for the house.

and live in the common space, right? So I would think I would ask for a small amount, like let's agree on a budget. And then if that person wants to go above and beyond, that's up to them. Yeah. And I think like if you bought the couch, but they bought the dining table, you don't have to like cherry pick and just let it go. You know what we did in college? I had four roommates and we had like a jar and at the very beginning of the year, we all put like $50 in. Okay. And anytime paper towels or dish soap, like stuff that we all use, you just take it out of that jar. Yeah.

and buy it with that. Wow. It was very smart. It felt very efficient. I didn't think about that. Yeah. When was the last time you had a roommate? College. Because I got married right out of college. Yeah, 08. It's been a long time. Simpler times. Now it's Winston. Do you ever miss it? Well, I'm such an extrovert. You're like, woo! People are at the house. I loved college, though. College was like my prime. I think I've gone downhill since.

It was so fun. So like one year, yeah, I lived with three of my friends. I was talking about, and then the next year I got married in December. So I had half of a semester. So Kelsey and Carly, shout out, they were living in a two bedroom and Kelsey let me get a mattress on the floor. I shared a room with her for four months. That's special. From August to December. And it was so fun.

I love living with people. Let me pull... Now, I say that as like a 20-year-old. Now, I'm old. As an adult. And you never live with like dudes. Gross. You know what I mean? Gross. Winston's roommates... I had four roommates in college. It was five of us. It was awful. Disgusting. Disgusting. And my spot... Their bathroom... Like, think about this. My section of the room was so well... Like, I would be vacuuming my little... What was it? A house? What did you live in? It was a...

Sorry, I'm getting emotional. It was like a cottage.

Well, it's very like the holiday of you, George. It was not fancy. An English cottage? So me and one guy were on one side of the dorm and then the other guys were on the other side with three bunks stacked to the ceiling. Wait, what? So three bunks stacked, there's three guys in there, then two of us. Do you have a bunk on yours? We did like, we separated them out. Oh, so this was like part of the school? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, it's not like an off-campus cottage? No, I did do that as well when I had one roommate off-campus. I got you, I got you. It was, you know. They wouldn't turn on their heat? No.

They all slept in sleeping bags. They didn't like flush the toilet. Like there was certain things they just like, it was so, it was, it was just, you walked in and you're just like. There was like a communal bucket of popcorn that would just sit out for the week. And they would just come by, grab some. I was like, how old is this popcorn? This is disgusting. I, yeah, I can't do it. I can't do it. I think I wore flip flops in the shower. That's how disgusting this was.

Totally. Not okay. And then the other one is roommates that make more than you, but they don't want to pitch in for, you know, maintenance or the upgrade or the thing. That can be frustrating. Yeah, that's stupid. But I think, again, clear communication up front. I think splitting as evenly as possible on things that are even is ideal. What if one person takes 30-minute showers and you split the water? No, don't penny pinch. Just live alone if that's you. Don't do that. Figure it out. Okay, next category. The next one is divorce. Divorce.

Great. We're really just on a roll here, Rachel. This has been a fun episode. Thanks for playing. I know, but this is happening. It is weird getting to the age where you know people that got married at the same time as you and people are getting divorced. Is there a theory around that? Like it's like, hey, if you've been married seven years at the seven-year mark. The seven-year itch is a good thing. A 14-year mark. That's what they say.

Yeah, they claim that. I don't know. I don't know. I feel like it would have been shortened because of our attention span in life. I feel like everything's just shortened. I don't know. But I do think what happens if you're like, especially as like a couple, right? You go on trips together, whatever, whatever, whatever. And then the divorce happens. Not only is the relationship sticky at that point, but then one of them was like, oh yeah, I have one income now. It's going to look different. Oh, yeah.

Well, one was a stay-at-home parent and now they've never, you know, they haven't worked. Yeah. And now they have to go figure it out. Or either way, like you split, right? And it's like, oh yeah, it's a single income now when they're used to living on a dual and...

Now they're trying to be like, oh yeah, I can't afford that. You know, the change, it does happen within like a friend group can be a thing for sure. Well, if there's kids involved, that's where it gets really difficult. Like I've had friends who have like five kids and they split and it's really difficult in the kids. So I feel like it should be your priority

To make sure the kids are okay. Yes, for sure. You know, make sure they don't feel the brunt of the financial challenges or whatever's going on. Yeah. To shield them from that, especially if they're younger. Yeah, for sure. Next is friends. This one's more fun. So vacations, yeah. Have you vacationed with friends a lot? Yeah, we do. We have like...

We have four families that we feel real good traveling with. Okay. And are you all on a similar level as far as travel? Like, I know you want to go to the resort. Are they like, oh gosh, that's not in the budget. You guys talk about it? No. Three for sure are spenders. That's why I think I enjoy vacation. You're like, great. We chose well. And then our other friends are more budget conscious, for sure. Do you try to like be aware of that when you plan the trip? Or is it like, here's where we're going. Do you want to join? No.

here's what it might cost. Or they figure that out on their own. Yeah. I mean, so let me say this. When we vacation with people...

all of them are like intact, like we see them on a regular basis. So I don't feel this obligation to be like, oh my gosh, we have to see you on vacation. It's more like, hey, we want to go to this really fun place. Do y'all want to come too? Because it would be a fun experience if y'all want to come too. Does that make sense? So I feel like that's kind of how we have done it. But we did have one trip that we had three families and we rented a big house.

And I did pick the house and I did want it closer to the beach. Which is pricier. Because of the kids and stuff, I'm like, it's just easier. So I would stay further away from like the central point to be on the beach and

And do you tell them, hey, it's going to be this much for a family? And I did say, and I talked to Winston about it before, and I just said, hey, I'm okay paying more for our share so that we can be close to the beach. Oh, that's nice. Does that make sense? To kind of subsidize it a little bit. Like, hey, because it's something Rachel wanted, I'll kind of foot part of that bill for the increased charge. Totally. Yeah, yeah. And a lot of them are like, well, how much is it? And I'm like, I'll tell you the price, but we're planning this trip as the travel agent Rachel. Yes, yes.

no pressure like there's not pressure to does it make sense like i don't want to feel like oh we all have to split this all evenly because i picked the house something i don't know yeah that is hard as the planner you feel the of the pressure of is everyone going to be okay with this right and what it's going to cost right yeah yeah all of that how about you guys

We've done a few. It's been a while, you know, since having a kid. It's different. Not a lot of vacations. More trips. More trips, I know. But we've done it and it's been fun. I've always wanted to do like the go to a all-inclusive resort or something where there's less pressure. You already paid for everything. I think that's great, yes. There's no surprises. People can meet up when they want. Yep, yep. That one feels better to me. Yeah, but if there was like a really fun, unique experience, I'm great with doing the like sitting in crappier seats for the experience just to go with them to the experience. Oh, yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like that's something...

that I'm like, oh yeah, I wouldn't feel like, oh gosh, we have to have the best seats ever. I'd be like, oh no, I just want to go to this awesome concert because we both love Celine Dion. I don't care where the tickets are. Have you ever gotten seats that were bad and then regretted it? I don't think.

think so. I mean, sometimes you're really far up and you're like... I was the furthest row back at Bridgestone, like level 300 against a back wall. Yeah, that's pretty far. And it was John Mayer and he would be singing and playing and then five seconds later, I would hear that. Oh, shoot. So not worth it. It was such a delay that I was like, I will never do this again. Okay, that's good to know. So nosebleeds to me... Not worth it. But like middle back section. Yeah. Yeah.

I'd say mid, like this 200 level. All right. Could be worth it. But yeah, concerts, I'm willing to take a worse seat to get a better deal. That's just me personally. Yes, I agree with that. Yep. Rachel, can I be honest? I love your honesty, always. I think I have the winter blues. Ah, do you?

Do you, George? Yeah, I don't know what it is. Are you like a weather, like depression, happiness person, like depending on what the weather is? It's the cold, the gloomy, but you know what I resort to? What? I want to just be in like my coziest things. And do you know what has the coziest stuff? What's that? Cozy earth.

That's the cure to my winter blues, Rachel. You nailed it. I believe it. And get this, they have a Stay Cozy sale going on right now. And I was just doing our laundry, as I do, because I'm a 21st century man. Wow. And I was folding the laundry, and my wife has like 19 PJ sets. Yes. And then I got the Cozy Earth ones.

And there was such a difference. I immediately knew without even seeing the label that these were the Cozy Earth ones. A hundred percent. So luxurious. Oh, yeah. The sheets, the pajamas, the socks, the joggers. I mean, we have so much Cozy Earth stuff, honestly. Like, we go and buy it. Winston went and bought a bunch of stuff without a promo code. I was like, babe, you got to get a deal. Learn from George. It pains my soul. Learn from George. No, but Cozy Earth, they are doing an incredible deal. Okay, are you ready for this? Hit me. February 7th through 9th, if you buy...

regular priced bamboo pajamas, which is what you need to buy because you're at the bamboo is like the dream. You get a free pair.

We're talking full BOGO. BOGO sale is happening. So if you use the promo code SMARTMONEYBOGO, all one word, SMARTMONEYBOGO, you get two pairs of pajamas for the price of one. And these are like, they're legit. I'm going to jump on. Sign me up. And Cozy Earth is giving our listeners an incredible deal. Up to 40% off when you use the code SMARTMONEY or go to CozyEarth.com slash SMARTMONEY. All right, last relationship, George.

Kids are children. How do we deal with these guys? Teaching kids how to handle money with friends as they get older. So I'm not at this point yet. I got it, you know, like a one-year-old. But you've had to now deal with the kids are going to Susie's and they're all going to go to this thing and it's going to cost money. Do you just like, do they tell you how much it's going to be? How does it work? We haven't had a lot of that yet.

I have heard of like on Instagram or like TikTok, moms charging for like snacks and stuff at the house. Oh gosh, like Venmo, like, hey, $5, Susie had a fruit roll up. Yeah, and I'm happy to do stuff. Like we had one of Caroline's little friends over and I was coming home from work and-

Winston was there, but I was like, oh, I'll grab Chick-fil-A. And she was still there. So I was like, well, I'll just grab her a kid's meal too. Like, people kind of help out. And if, you know, if Amelia's over, you know, her friend's mom will order pizza. Like, it's just, it's not really a tit-for-tat thing. What we run into more, and I'm having, I don't know how to do this, so this is very new, but it's navigating what other kids have. Oh. And what they, and how they want it. That's interesting. I know. And the things these girls want at a young age. Is it insane? I was into like,

Like limited to and caboodles. Like we were into like cheap. Things that weren't crazy expensive. Yeah, they're into like. Now like, mommy, can I have an iPad too? Yeah, and not always like her closest friends, our oldest, but girls in the grade. And again, it's not a moral thing because I don't want to be one of these people that's like, oh, you should never buy that for your kids. It's not even that. Is this like a Louis Vuitton? Like what are we talking? No, Lululemon. Oh, Lululemon, that's expensive. But to me, that's like a Louis for a fourth grader. Yeah.

But like, it's, yeah, like, you know, Stanley cups. Oh, yeah. It's 50 bucks a cup. And again, I understand we're in probably a quirky part of Nashville and not every, I don't know what people deal with, but I do think it's becoming more prevalent around because of the internet and social media. These kids just see an experience. But don't you think part of it is the moms? Because the moms are wearing Lulu and they have the Stanleys and the girls want to be like mom. It's either that, they're being, okay, yeah. Kids are going to be exposed to,

Two things. I don't know how they're being exposed. I don't know if it's other friends at school. I don't know if it's social media. I don't know if it's the moms. I don't know. So somehow they are being aware that these things exist.

Yeah. Well, you have a, this is not in here as a plug, but I want to say your kids' books are a great way to help parents teach these concepts to their kids, like contentment and generosity and gratitude. Yeah, your little ones. I know. But yeah, that's where all this stuff gets a little tricky. And if you've done the baby steps, right? Like we've done it since we've been married, 15 years.

You and Whitney, baby step seven. And some of you out there have been doing this for a while and you're at a point where you're like, okay, yeah, we can afford the $35 Stanley gift.

But just because you can afford it doesn't mean you have to. I see this with kids in this area. They're driving cars that are so much nicer than mine at 16. Their very first car is a brand new $60,000 car that I'm like, oh my gosh. That's wild. What are we doing here? This is crazy. Well, then your expectations, that's my thing. Yes. That's Winston. You can never go down from there. My biggest thing is setting normal. What is normal in our household? You may get spikes of fun, spikes of Disney World,

spikes of going with Papa Dave and me and me on a trip. Like there may be spikes in life and that's great, but like what's our baseline as normal? And driving a car, that's normal. You're setting a baseline, right? Yeah. Of what's normal. So how are we setting our kids up well for expectations in the real world? Yeah. If they're driving a brand new Range Rover at 16, they're not going to go buy like a used Camry at 18. It's just not happening. Like they have a certain expectation that's hard to break. I

I know. And you as the parent, you set the tone for that. You do. I know. That's why work, grit, sacrifice, some suffering. Yeah. Makes it all in there. Putting the cocktail. Drink up. Shoot it back. Put some hair on your chest.

I don't know. These are things I've heard. I know. I don't know what to do. Anyways, it's tough. Kids and money. But I feel like spending the night at friends' houses or whatever the thing is. Yeah, I know. I think unless it's a crazy, like you're going to the trampoline park and it's going to be 30 bucks, 50 bucks a kid or whatever, then I feel like the parents should go, hey, let me make sure that we cover this. You know what I mean? Yes. Like you don't need to cover it for all five kids going. Oh, right. Be up front with what it's going to cost. Yeah, that's fair. I don't know, Venmo each other? I guess that's, or... Yeah.

give the kid money. And I think, I mean, I see the good in people. I do think parents want to, I don't think people are looking to like get a free ride off of other parents. Maybe there are people like that. But I do feel like people are very up to be like, oh yeah, can we chip in?

Right? Do you experience that? I don't have friends yet. Like, not in the kids' world. You know, like my wife has... Oh, that's true. Yeah, yeah, that's fair. That's fair. So we'll experience that soon enough. Yep. But it's a good time. Oh, man. All right. So what are the keys here? My take is communicate early, openly, and often, and set the boundaries where you need to set them for what's right for you and your family. Yes. And then don't...

I'd rather you choose guilt over resentment. That's what happens is people go, I'm just going to be resentful later. I didn't speak up. Just be guilty that you brought it up. I'd rather that. You'll sleep better at night. I think that's my thing is communication through all of this, the friends, the family, be open and honest. And then there is something to be said adult to adult. Like when you laid out there,

Their response and reaction is not your responsibility. Like you've set what's best for you. You don't control that. You don't control that. And that is so hard. So hard because you love these people, right? So you don't want to bring harm or hurt them. But yeah, communicating things out loud in a kind way.

graceful way tone is everything it's not what you say it's how you say it it's very important beauty grace all right georgio before we get to guilty as charged remember uh this is the pink drink this is the sparkling pink mocktail sparkling pink mocktail i'm gonna give this i could not improve on it so i'm gonna go 10 out of 10 yeah i thought it was the right amount of it was a little tart for me i like tart it's tart and sweet it's got sparkles in it so i'm going 10 out of 10 how about you

Be honest. Eight out of 10. Okay. Solid B. If you like raspberries, you will love this. Here's what's in it. Frozen raspberries, lemonade, lemon-lime seltzer. We use lemon-lime poppy in this drink because we're extra. And raspberry sorbet, which was a fun little treat in there. It kind of melted as you drink it. It did. It was fun. And this is not in here, but there was some level of sparkle. Edible glitter. Is that what's in here?

I feel like you should make that very clear before a man drinks this. And it costs $1.92 per glass. That's not bad. And let me tell you, the kids are going to love this mocktail. I would say that would be a fun, like, birthday party. Yes, like put it in a big punch bowl kind of thing. It could be fun. I like it. So the recipes in the show notes, give it a try this weekend. And I think your kids are going to go with old Uncle George here, 10 out of 10 on this one. Great.

All right, now it's time for Guilty as Charged. And this is where our producer Kelly gives us a new Guilty as Charged question every week. If we're guilty, take a sip, Kelly. All right. Have you ever or do you still mooch off your parents even though you're grown? 100%.

Oh, I can. One comes to mind and that is my parents for some reason have a AAA membership and they buy mine. Oh, that's nice. They like have me add it on. Yes. I don't know. It just keeps renewing and I keep getting one in the mail. So I go, thanks, dad. Oh, I love it. That's such a dad move to be like, you need AAA, it's very good.

In case you get stuck, you know, I'm like, thanks, Max. You're the best. Thanks, Max. You're not saying Max. Well, he goes by Max. His real name is Majid, which is Middle Eastern. He's from Egypt. Let me try that. Say it again. Majid. Majid. Yeah.

That's pretty good. So he goes by Max. Just a little easier. Max. Name that movie. Max. Your boy. Goofy? Max. A goofy movie? The Grinch. Max. Oh, I was thinking Max from a goofy movie. Also a hit. Oh, that's a good one too. So AAA is the one I think of. There may be more that I'm not... I don't think I have... I used to mooch off their cell phone plan because they had the senior plan. I was going to say, I have a company cell phone. Oh, is that mooching? I don't know. It feels a little bit. Dave technically pays for it. Technically. Yeah.

Do you have it? Yeah. The personalities? Okay, good. Let me see if I got it. But I don't feel like I'm mooching. Okay. Mine would be if there's a really nice restaurant and I don't want to pay for it, I'll be like, hey, mom and dad, you want to go to dinner? And you're like, there's this great new place. There's like this five-star Michelin. No, I'm just kidding. But then Dave always going to pay. Dave and Sharon are like, we got the bill. Oh, yeah, they will. Yes. So I will, yeah. Would he be so shocked if you were like, no, I got this one?

Would they just be like, what is happening? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. But see, Sharon's not like that always. Like, we went on a trip, a girl's trip, like two years ago. And there were certain times mom was like paying for her own. And I was like, we are all back here. We are all back here. Yeah. She's getting a hot dog off of the vendor. Well, she could smell the entitlement. She went, not today. I guess.

Not today. And I'm way more shameless with that stuff than Denise is. You'll call it out. So guilty. Guilty, guilty. But that's a thing parents do. Like if I'm out with my parents, they want to cover the meal. I think so too. It's a very sweet thing. Just let them. I hear you. Okay. All right, George. Well, this has been fun. If you guys have guilty as charged ideas, DM them to us via Instagram or other places because we see them and we actually have used a couple. That's right. We really appreciate it. Make sure to subscribe.

and leave us a review if you're loving this and catch our episode on $175,000 salary earners call themselves poor coming up next. Or if you're listening on podcast, click the link below. And we'll see you guys next Thursday on an all new episode of Smart Money Happy Hour.