How To Be Stronger Than You Have Ever Been
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Hi everybody, c zo here. Now, what is the goal of money? The goal of money is for you to be secure, and there is no Better way for you to be secure than having an emergency savings account. IT is essential for your financial foundation, so all of you should be participating in the ultimate opportunity savings account at alliant credit union. Go to my alliant that come find out more and be the cure.

Hi everybody. This is Robert, the producer here now. Now stay with me. I just have two very quick things to tell you before we get to today's episode. Now, the other day, so he posted a picture of herself on the women in money community.

APP and SHE asked all of you, how old do you thought he was in that photograph? And then SHE posted that the right answer would be revealed on today's podcast. So the correct answer is, susie, forty years old in that picture, pretty cool, right? I really dig that sweater. Are the second thing that I need to say to you is happy thanksgiving, and thank you for listening to this podcast. And now on with a brand new episode.

So you are strong. up. 让 所有。

i'm.

Nove, eight, two thousand. And .

how .

are you?

Garbling a day's turkey day, everybody, probably my most favorite holiday of all time.

And why is that? Well, if is my family.

this is the day that sushi traditionally cooks and cooks the best turkey dinner ever, ever, ever, ever. We used to have massive, you know, family members and groups and gatherings.

Now it's pair down. Now they love .

they so want .

to have their families, families.

family got too big. We didn't have enough chairs. When you run at a chairs, you have to kind of refigure the plan. So now it's colosse in K, T.

And we actually love that because saturday is what kt .

fishing tournament, who tournament are, right?

Once again, we are in the tournament, weather permitting. What I was trying to say, have you all noticed a trend that Normally I start with the date, then I welcome all of you, because we always have new people. Have you noticed the trend that before I can do anything after the date .

he is on gobbo gob IT is a trend that I hope never.

Is there a goal? This is the ask K T and susie anything edition, and this is the woman and money podcast. And everybody smart enough to listen. Now, today we're gonna do something that we did be for, but we're gonna a do IT again, it's going to be a conversation.

Oh yeah.

Recently I got an because I read the emails along with kate, and I say, Kitty, this email, I think, is appropriate for thanksgiving. And even though people are gonna listen to this podcast two weeks after thanksgiving and whatever, it's an appropriate conversation. Because today, even though it's thanksgiving in my wishes for the world, I wish every day would be a day that we give thanks for.

Thanks for the sun rising. Thanks for the sun sending. Thanks for whatever that may be. But I want all of us to have a thankful heart.

This is also a time today, especially when families gather and they come together as one if they can, and they share joy. But not everybody is in that situation. Some people are in different situations.

The email that we're about to read is not necessarily about thanksgiving menus and recipes. It's about family and it's about the awkward and the difficult and the theatre side of what families may experience or go through, especially the child with the .

parent when IT comes to money.

Oh, absolutely. That's why .

we're here to sit down with us like and I want you to participate in this conversation as well. I want you to ask yourselves the question, how would you answer IT? How do you feel about IT? And maybe I can give you some insight, also open up a conversation with your entire family and see how they feel about IT on the river side as well. R.

I, K, T, so this is from cilia, a daughter, SHE wrote, dear Susan kt, your guidance is a blessing, and i'm so thankful you are a channel for good in the world. You often address parental questions around how to wisely act for future generations.

But what about family situations in which the parents are financially irresponsible? Is there a financial obligation of the child towards the parent, or is IT primarily the parent towards the child? My parents have been in debt and financially irresponsible my entire life, even needing to borrow money from me in my youth.

Now listen to this, everyone, and think about this. I still remember at age six, my little yet precious savings taken. I've had to, in many ways, raise myself and teach myself, had be responsible with money.

Thirty years later, i'm now in adult, and they still just want to take so the syria's, obviously referencing her parents, SHE said, i've tried to guide them, even recommending your podcast, susie, but they cannot improve and apply any knowledge for change so that syria has a problem, right? Susie SHE said, our relationship has grown ever distant as they judge all my actions with a monetary mindset, their competitive nature is insistently sizing me up and seeing how they could benefit, even if I wasn't in a position truly able to give. They see all of my actions as having so much more than them, because they are in such a place of lack.

So that's A A very awkward place for city to be. So susie, how can I be giving while not playing the role of the parent as your montreal starts with people first, if I don't give, I can feel guilty. And if I do give them, I feel taking advantage job and like i'm perpetuating an endless cycle.

I understand as a financial obligation parents have towards their children, having brought them into this world. But is there any reverse obligation? Or can I feel free of their expectations towards me? I especially find myself concerned as they inch closer to retirement ages and don't have much of any sufficient nest for all those years to come. So as you thank you for your care help, please tell me what to do. Sila.

so, K, T, you just read that letter or not answering her questions. I'm curious as to how IT made you personally feel. What did you bring up for you?

Wow, suzie made me feel so lucky, privileged, loved, cared for. IT made me feel as opposite to what the city has experienced without her life. My parents, my family, my siblings so supportive, my parents so did without in order to take care of six children.

And I am totally responsible. But I didn't know how much they actually gave up till I became an adult. I did not really understand that. why? Because I think kids are Young and self, right?

And the reason that I ask you that, kt, is that even more than me, truthfully, obviously spent a lot of money on my mother and everything, but IT was a very different thing with me and my mother. You loved that you could help your mother .

if .

you wanted to help your mother and father. Now, was IT your responsibility to do so, or was IT your desire to do so? Because of how they took care of you and how responsible they were financially growing up.

we never, any of us felt that we were responsible because they never put us .

in that position ever. And then IT was a joy for you.

my god. IT was something that not only we looked forward to, but I worked really hard because I wanted to give them something special, or thank them in a way that I know they could never have for themselves.

And then because they were so responsible with money, as they got older and they got sick, and your father had to draw all these things that happened, right? One of the happiest things in your life was being able to get your mami at home, make sure you had a private aid, do all these things for her.

And that was like, cause I remember the day he died, you were so thrilled that we did such a good job that he still had sixty thousand thousand left, so that all the kids, not you, but could get fifteen thousand dollars each immediately, because he had a wl, in a trust in everything. Do you? Member, that? Yes, alright, why do I S K T? That S A.

Did you just hear that? Obviously, IT is apparent responsibility, but none to take care of their children, nourish their children, educate their children so that they can grow up and learn how to thrive in this world of us. IT is their responsibility to do so.

Seems like they did a pretty good job with you. And why is that? Because you saw by their behavior how you did not want to do that.

I just want you to all put a pin in that for a second. You said something in this email that I found so fast, and I don't know if you remember this. K, T, I have a thing with the next steps to financial freedom, which was the best book I ve ever been. And the whole books premise, to begin with, is your first childhood money. Memory determines what happens to in life.

I went around and I started to ask a question, not to ten people, not to fifty people, thousands of people, could they ever remember mommy or daddy taking money from your piggy bank and not paying you back? Well, everybody, even if they're incredibly wealthy today, whatever that one action, i've taking money from a piggy bank and not replacing IT scar them. But IT did kt right.

But IT was that one memory that also spurred all those people to go and save money on their own and be responsible for IT on their own. So even though that's a hartless action and memory that you have, I would almost guaranteeing that IT is that one action plus many after that, that has made you the successful woman you are today. So sometimes when we look in our past, you have to not well, in the sadness of your past.

You have to draw in the happiness of who you are right now and how you feel about yourself right now. So that was for you. See a kt, with that said, I just have to go back again to answer the serious number one question, is IT the responsibility of a child to take care of their parents if the parents have been totally irresponsible with money and doing things with IT, that's like throwing IT out.

Is IT no there ago?

I agree with that. Would IT be any different if your parents for drug addicts? Because i've gone through this many times with people, they are drug admins, their alcoholics, they are gamblers, and they have no money, and they always want the money from the kids, so they can go back to the gambling.

They have nothing, nothing. Would you give them the money? then?

I would give them intervention, right? But I would not give them money. I give them intervention. Yes, but that's a responsibility.

But a would you feel guilty not giving the money if that money was leading to the destruction of who they are, drugs, alcohol, gambling? I want you seriously think about that. I think that would be a lot easier, Kitty, for service ago.

Mom, I am not giving you the money for you to go drink yourself to death is SHE could rationalize, right? It's very hard to rationalize not giving when when is they're just irresponsible, which means they spend money, they don't invested, they don't take care of themselves. I do agree with that.

Yeah, I do agree with that. That's why i'm saying I think that silius difficulty here sues is that IT looks like she's the only source. She's the only money. I have a feeling .

she's the only child. Yeah, I think .

she's the only money pit, which is why she's really in turmoil about how do I do this.

right? So obviously, you see where this is going to salian. Number one, we're onna. Hopefully talk you off the wall of guilt. We're gona talk you off the wall of feeling that is your responsibility.

And we're gonna talk to you on the are putting people first than money, than things because the first thing I have to straight now is this, when I say people first, I do not mean other people. I do not mean go out and take care of the world. I mean, you have got to take care of yourself.

Maybe I need to change that to you first than money, than things. But to syria, the people i'm talking about in that phrase is you, so you have to put yourself before money. You have to put yourself into a situation where you feel good about every action that you take that number one.

Number two, again, I go back to this. How many years have i've been saying that you and your money are one? If you give your money away to somebody who wastes IT, what you are doing is you are giving a part of yourself away to your parents, not money.

That's true. That's the vehicle. But you and your money, I want money, is a physical manifestation of who you are.

So the reason that you feel so bad about this, in my opinion, is that you are just respecting yourself. You are giving a part of yourself away, which actually hurts more than giving money, if that make sense. So that makes sense to K.

T. Yeah, I think IT does make a whole lot of sense to me, but I want the listeners to really understand what you're trying to do to help her.

right? So now I will get to that. Hopefully we have answered the question. Parents need and must be responsible for their children, in my opinion.

In kat's opinion, some of you may disagree, there is no Mandate that a child is responsible for a parent who is absolutely disrespectful of money, only loves me for money, any of those things. Now, when a parent gets old, they've been respectful, they've loved you. They've honor their money.

They have done everything they can. That's another story. You know, it's funny. K, T, what i'm thinking of, as I say this, how many parents, even if their grandparents, now they're old and they still have their children alive, right? Say, I don't want to be a burden .

on my family. Oh, many.

they all do. Think about IT everybody. Do any of you want to be a burden on your children? And I can tell you, if you love your children, the answer to that is no.

A lot of times I talk to people, I go, why do you just take a little vacation? Why can't you just get a little bit newer car? So IT doesn't break down on you in the middle of the night or whatever IT is.

And I say, no, i'm saving every penny for my kids. I want my kids to have everything. 嗯 socia。 That's how love in parents think.

They don't look at their kids as a money ticket. They don't make their kids feel bad. So if you choose to give money away, right, you cannot feel like you are being taken advantage of them.

And on quoting your email right now, you have to feel like you are disrespecting yourself. Did you hear what I just said this year? This isn't about they have so much power that they can take advantage of you.

So you give a money only. You have the power to make a decision, what you do with money, what you do with your life. So number one, you have got to get this concept of they're taking advances of you.

If you give the money out of your mind, what else what I tell you to do? The first thing I would tell you to do, believe in or not, is I would go see them, I would sit down with them, and I would look them right in the eye, and maybe you tell them to listen to this podcast, that you, anna, play this podcast for them, sit with them and them listen to this podcast. They don't want to find no problem.

You go over and you sit with them and you say, mom and dad, I love you very much. However, I am letting you know, from this day on, I am not giving you any more money. If you need food, i'll go get food for you and give you food, but make IT cleared them, that the bank of cilia is closed.

No matter what they say, no matter how bad off they get, you have to be strong enough. Let them hit rock bottom. Because I have found over my forty years of doing this change doesn't come easy.

And change Normally comes financially speaking, when the people have hit rock bottom, they have no more credit lines. They have nobody to go to to ask for money. Every, every avenue that financial river has been dammed up and they are bone dry. So that's what you have to do, and you have to be strong enough to do that.

So sue, I agree with all of that, but I would have a slightly different approach. I would talk to my parents and I would let them know clearly that I don't feel good. I've been feeling very sad and very depressed, and they say, why?

Honey, say, because I feel that you only want me around for my money. So therefore I need to feel that you love me for who I am from this day forward. I mean, to stop financing you or giving you money or bail you .

out if let's roll play, you're A I mom, right? You came to me, you just said that and I say that is not true. We love you for who you are.

We've never loved you for your money. We've dated at at that because you have to understand kt, parents like this are in total denial. Anyway, you come from a place because you are so sweet, so sweet, and you actually don't know anything other than move.

So just remember, kt comes from a family. SHE has never experienced anything but love in her life. Half fabulous.

Is that very good? That's what i'm always thankful for every day. So what I would do, mom, you're my mom, right?

I'm i've never felt that way about you. Why do you say that you're wrong .

if you mean that mom then started today? I don't want you to ask for money. I'm not going to give you a daddy any more money, but I did come up with a couple ideas for you to help you when you get in those, James, or to make ends me. I think that you can do a couple of things to make money or to find money.

other than calling me for IT. One is, look at this house. I have nothing here. Look at everything around you.

You have a lot of things, and you can sell things you don't use or need anymore.

Who would want to buy this junk?

Well, a lot of people have a yards saying, you give me a shot. You can probably make about fifty dollars, one hundred dollars, who knows? But start with that, mom.

Second, you may want a downsize and live in a smaller, more affordable place. And then there's the jobs. There's always part time work and jobs and opportunities that you can do on the side to try to make those ends meet. The only thing, mom, that and dad, that i'm absolutely always gonna be there for you is to make sure that you're eating healthy and I can always assist you in providing a hot meal or maybe even come and cook for you once someone.

Kt, that was actually great, but such a, did you see? How have that went? Don't go in there when you sit down expecting that your mother and father are going the first time in your life understand anything that you are same .

are they won't embrace who would love they're .

na probably get really mad. So but here be ready. But here is why I want you to do IT.

You aren't doing this for them. You are doing this for yourself. You are doing this so that you can be clear that you have said boundaries.

You've said what you wanted to say. That's that you do IT for yourself. If they hear you, fine. If they don't hear you, fine.

All that matters is you have a voice and you said, IT, remember i've said your voice is your power and you need switch from guilty, tend not guilty. You need to switch from feeling and taking advantage of to knowing you're not being taken advantage job. You cannot give out a guilt.

If you give out a guilt, then you have totally disrespected yourself as well. So you are going to have to become very stronger than you have ever been. And why do I say that you have given to them out of weakness, not strength.

You have given to them out of the wrong reasons because it's easier to give them to say no. You now have to say no at a love for yourself versus yes. I A fear that they're not gonna like you.

They're not gonna do this. Oh, please look at your relationship already. That would be our advice to you, our advice where you stand in the truth of your own self respect, your own love and your own thankfulness for giving yourself a life where you are financially pretty much independent.

You are doing things exactly how you want in your own life and be thankful as well that you have parents like that, because that's what you have. So you might as well be thankful because look at the gifts they gave you and the gifts that they gave you, our gifts of self independence. So that brings us to the end of the susi N, K, T. conversation. Did you enjoy that? K.

I did. But it's a little depressing.

It's not depressive IT. Actually.

actually liberating is.

it's liberating, but it's standing in your truth. And I have to tell you, kt, this is not just one person having this problem. There are hundreds of thousands of people out there, maybe millions, which is why I chose IT for today because I know that more of you will relate to this than less of you believe IT or not.

So therefore, there's only one thing that we want to do today besides wish you a very, very happy thanksgiving. And if you're listening to this podcast after thanksgiving, we hope you had a great one. But it's this people first。 And remember when I say that, I mean, you then what? Kt.

then money.

then things. And if you do that, stay healthy, stay safe. We promise you, you will be.

I don't need Better.

Hi everybody, susie here. Now, if you are looking for a way to start saving to get the most out of your money, I want you to go to my align t com. That's M Y A L L I A N T dot com, and look into opening an ultimate opportunity savings account, put in at least one hundred dollars a month every single month for twelve consecutive month, earn three point one nine percent interested in your money right now, and get a hundred at the end.

Are you kidding me? It's the best deal out there. Start saving right now. There is orman media.

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