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cover of episode 🎤 PODCAST • 1-Rational Happiness 2-Self Esteem 1-Why does happiness require rationality? 2-Do sophisticated criminals have high self esteem

🎤 PODCAST • 1-Rational Happiness 2-Self Esteem 1-Why does happiness require rationality? 2-Do sophisticated criminals have high self esteem

2025/5/25
logo of podcast www.drkenner.com Answers Your Questions

www.drkenner.com Answers Your Questions

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Ellen Kenner
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Josie
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Ellen Kenner: 我认为幸福感是建立在现实基础上的,它源于你清晰地运用你的思维。这并不是说你永远不会犯错,而是说你会从错误中学习并发展你的思维。你会发现属于你自己的价值观并追求它们,包括你的梦想、你的事业、你的爱好,以及你热爱的运动。我的节目关注的是你的幸福,是以一种最仁慈的自私的方式关注你的幸福。

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Happiness is grounded in reality and achieved through clear thinking, learning from mistakes, pursuing personal values and dreams. It's about a mindful and fulfilling life.
  • Happiness is reality-based and stems from clear thinking.
  • It involves pursuing personal values and dreams.
  • It's about learning from mistakes and growing one's mind.

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Why the word rational? Why can't happiness come from any other source? Just feel happy. Just wish yourself happy. Just pray yourself happy. Well, you can try all those things and my guess is that you will be conflicted and unsatisfied because happiness is reality based. It's an emotion that stems from your using your mind clearly, you're using your

mind well. Not that you never stumble, not that you don't make mistakes, but you learn from them and you grow your mind. You discover values that are yours. You pursue them. Your dreams, and I don't mean gambling and drinking and smoking and the rest. I mean your chosen dreams, your career, whether it's in landscape architecture or whether it's doing something with film in the movies or whether it's with engineering, it's

your dreams, your hobbies, and maybe a sport that you love. And that's what my show is focused on. It's focused selfishly in the most benevolent sense of that word on your happiness. And here's a little more from Dr. Kenner. Here is a question I received from Josie. And see what you think about this. This has to do with self-esteem. And she's saying that criminals have high self-esteem. What do you think about that?

Here is the question. When someone spends 24-7 thinking about themselves and their feelings and then goes out and robs and vandalizes and hurts others, may I ask you how you can classify this person as having low self-esteem? When they spend all their time thinking about their feelings and they never seem to think about others, it seems to me that this is someone who esteems themselves and their feelings above all else.

Just a little subtext here. What are their failings? What are they genuinely failing? Not what they're faking. Back to her question. After all, no one makes anyone think bad thoughts about themselves. We choose our thoughts! Exclamation point.

I got a question on that one too. When someone chooses to spend all their God-given time thinking about themselves and worshiping their feelings instead of choosing to think positive thoughts about themselves and what you can do to help others, it's no wonder this world is in the state it's in!

Thank you for your time and for taking my questions. Sincerely, Josie. Josie, when you think of a criminal, would you like to change minds with a criminal so that you can have the high self-esteem that you think the criminal has?

I don't think you or I would in a heartbeat change minds with someone who's vandalized, broken windows and slashed tires on cars and maybe bound and gagged people or held a gun to their head. Would you want to be that person? And would you think that you would get higher self-esteem from thinking about how to connive people all day long, how to manipulate, how to steal, how to pull your next job? I don't think so.

Instead, there is another word that we use. Those people are very different from the Thomas Edison's of the world, the creators of the world. Those people live in self-contempt. If they're focused on the feelings all the time, it's how can I con others. Underneath those feelings, though, they have self.

a hideous baggage of earned feelings. And the feelings are anxiety and fear and self-contempt, worried about being found out, always having to lie and continue telling lies. They never can tell the truth because they've just woven a web of lies. So instead of the criminal having high self-esteem, the criminal has a self-made urge

Hey, I got to interrupt this because we've got to pay some bills. 30 seconds. That's it. A very quick ad and then Ellen will be back.

Many romantic partners have complaints like, I live in the shadow of my husband's life, or I feel invisible to my girlfriend. These are common complaints, but you never want to betray yourself in a romantic partnership. When both partners value themselves and are lovingly honest with one another, romance flourishes. Discover the secrets to lasting love in this liberating book, The Selfish Path to Romance.

by doctors Edwin Locke and Ellen Kenner. That's The Selfish Path to Romance on Amazon or SelfishRomance.com. So instead of the criminal having high self-esteem, the criminal has a self-made earned hell for life because they can never look in a psychological mirror if they were accurately to evaluate themselves.

they would hate themselves. They would go insane. So they always have to fake that they're better than they are. That's what you're seeing. All of that grandiosity, all of that looking like they're in control, is they're really

They don't know how to run their own minds. They've run their own minds into the ground and they've earned the self-contempt. So they do have a prison sentence. They're always running from themselves in life. Self-esteem is your... Yourself is your mind and self-esteem is your valuing your mind. You're building into your character lovable character traits, honesty, integrity, being productive, self-esteem.

having a sense of earned pride instead of being humble all the time. Oh, shucks, you know, the goma pile route. And self-esteem is something that takes...

takes looking at the facts, looking at reality, not faking reality like the con man. Now I want to address one other thing that you talk about. You say that people, the alternative to the con man is the doormat. We've all heard people who say, you know, I've spent my whole life doing for my kids, my husband, my parents, and there's no me anymore, and I'm so angry, I'm so bitter. The do-gooder in life ends up being resentful. And I

I don't mean the benevolent person who is living their own life and pursues their own goals rationally and never steps on other people, but feels a genuine benevolence towards people who are decent. And those people are the genuine, wonderful people.

They form good relationships. They make good friends. But the do-gooder who sacrifices himself for other people's only builds resentment. And there is a word for that. It's altruism. The moral code of altruism tells you that the standard of the good is not yourself but giving up yourself. And that is the psychological killer which poses in the guise of

the good person. And altruism poses as a good moral code. It's actually an inverse moral code. It will work against your long-range happiness. For more Dr. Kenner podcasts, go to drkenner.com and please listen to this ad. Here's an excerpt from The Selfish Path to Romance by Dr. Ellen Kenner.

Another virtue that makes you lovable is independence. Independence is your commitment to think for yourself and to earn your own keep. The proper basis for coming to conclusions in any area of your life, be it romance, career, moral beliefs, even practice.

Thank you.

Dependence is a mirror of what others want, and as a result, one loses control of one's life and destroys any sense of self. Independence is not only thinking for yourself, but also living by your own effort, which means living within your means. You can download Chapter 1 for free at drkenner.com, and you can buy the book at amazon.com.