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cover of episode Should You Work With Your Friends? with my friend Will Guidara

Should You Work With Your Friends? with my friend Will Guidara

2024/12/10
logo of podcast A Bit of Optimism

A Bit of Optimism

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People
S
Simon Sinek
以真诚和学习态度著称的领导力专家和激励演讲者。
W
Will Guidara
Topics
Simon Sinek: 与朋友合作存在风险,可能导致争吵,也可能增进友谊,取决于多种因素。友谊是宝贵的,需要主动维护,如同婚姻一样,需要每天主动选择。在冲突中,坦诚沟通,特别是承认是自我作祟,有助于化解矛盾。脆弱性能够提升自信,而非反之。在公开场合和私密场合的自我呈现方式不同,这是一种正常的社会现象,需要根据情境调整行为,这并非虚伪,而是为了社会功能的正常运转。在亲密关系中,人们可以卸下社会压力,展现真实的自我。如果在私密关系中无法展现真实的自我,则会滋生不安全感。虽然外在行为会因情境而异,但个人的原则应该保持一致。在领导力、婚姻和友谊中,脆弱性都是重要的品质。停止展现脆弱性可能是因为缺乏自信,也可能是因为曾被伤害过。在亲密关系中,需要勇于展现脆弱性,即使可能面临风险,这有助于建立更强的关系。如果回应的强度超过一定程度,则说明问题并非表面看起来那么简单。在冲突中,应该尝试理解对方感受,并寻求具体的例子来帮助自己改进。在冲突中,寻求具体的例子有助于理解问题所在,并找到改进的方法。人们在处理友谊破裂时往往比处理恋爱关系破裂时更被动和懒惰。人们对友谊的重视程度不足,这与友谊在生活中的重要性不相符。友谊破裂需要付出努力和勇气,如同结束商业伙伴关系或婚姻一样。友谊破裂缺乏正式的“解约”流程,这使得人们更容易选择被动或逃避。主动结束友谊,即使是痛苦的,也是对彼此负责的表现。主动结束友谊有时反而能挽救友谊。主动沟通和表达需求,能够帮助维护友谊。人们常常对朋友不够重视,认为朋友会理解他们的行为,这是一种不尊重朋友的表现。经常性地忽视朋友是不被接受的行为。他意识到自己对朋友不够重视,并决定改变自己的行为。意识到自己对朋友的忽视,并决定改变自己的行为。在婚姻和工作中,人们往往难以忽视朋友,但在友谊中却更容易忽视。拥有真挚的友谊对生活至关重要。应该根据自身情况,选择合适的友谊数量,并给予每段友谊应有的时间和重视。友谊的维系方式因人而异,时间长短并非唯一标准。不同的友谊有不同的维系方式,需要根据具体情况判断。忙碌的人通常更能有效利用时间,并重视重要的事情。 Will Guidara: 他曾经认为自己会一直从事餐饮业,但与商业伙伴的决裂以及疫情的冲击,让他重新思考职业方向。疫情期间的停滞让他有机会重新思考职业规划,并最终决定转向写作和分享经验。写作《Unreasonable Hospitality》一方面是为了学习和提升自己,另一方面也是为了更好地规划未来的职业方向。与朋友合作做生意,本质上是签订了一份承诺,与婚姻类似。为了生意成功,有时不得不解雇朋友,这在商业中是普遍存在的,虽然很少被提及。维系友谊和生意关系都需要每天主动选择和付出努力,如同婚姻一样。友谊和生意关系的结束可能源于多种原因,其中包括一方的价值下降或双方不再优先考虑彼此。在冲突中能坦诚地承认自己的错误,特别是承认是“自我”在作祟,这有助于化解冲突。随着年龄增长和自信心的提升,人们更容易承认错误,并不会害怕失去他人的尊重。他和Will都选择坚持彼此的友谊,即使在冲突中。脆弱性通常能够提升自信,但并非所有变得自信的人都会变得更脆弱。人们在公开场合和私密场合的自我呈现方式不同,这是一种正常的社会现象。人们需要根据不同的情境调整自己的行为,这并不意味着虚伪,而是为了社会功能的正常运转。在亲密关系中,人们可以卸下社会压力,展现真实的自我。如果在私密关系中无法展现真实的自我,则会滋生不安全感。虽然外在行为会因情境而异,但个人的原则应该保持一致。在领导力、婚姻和友谊中,脆弱性都是重要的品质。停止展现脆弱性可能是因为缺乏自信,也可能是因为曾被伤害过。在亲密关系中,需要勇于展现脆弱性,即使可能面临风险,这有助于建立更强的关系。与朋友合作做生意,需要双方有相似的动机,并提前设定明确的期望。与朋友合作做生意,双方动机要一致,期望要明确,避免产生误解和怨恨。与朋友合作做生意,需要坦诚沟通,明确彼此的投入程度。与朋友合作做生意,需要同时维护朋友和同事两种关系。在与朋友合作做生意时,需要处理好朋友和同事两种关系。在与朋友合作做生意时,需要学会区分朋友和同事两种角色,并根据情境调整沟通方式。在与朋友合作做生意时,需要根据情境调整沟通方式和尊重程度。在与朋友合作做生意时,需要避免将朋友和同事两种角色混淆。在与朋友合作项目时,需要根据情境调整沟通方式和尊重程度。在与朋友合作时,需要区分老板和朋友两种角色,并根据情境调整沟通方式。在家庭企业中,需要区分家庭成员和同事两种角色,并根据情境调整沟通方式。在与家人或朋友合作时,需要区分家庭成员或朋友与同事两种角色,并根据情境调整沟通方式。“代码切换”并非负面词语,而是根据情境调整行为的一种方式,体现了尊重。在与朋友合作时,需要根据情境调整沟通方式,以示尊重。在不同场合,需要根据情境调整称呼和行为,以示尊重。在工作场合,需要尊重职位和等级,避免过度亲昵。在工作场合,避免过度亲昵,以免影响工作效率和团队关系。在任何关系中,都需要保持平衡,避免过度依赖关系资本。他很高兴能与Simon成为朋友,并一起经历职业生涯的不同阶段。他鼓励人们勇敢尝试人生的不同阶段,并相信友谊的力量。友谊能够给予人们勇气和信心,去面对人生中的挑战和改变。

Deep Dive

Key Insights

Why is it challenging to mix business and friendship, as discussed by Will Guidara and Simon Sinek?

Mixing business and friendship is challenging because it requires balancing two distinct relationships—personal and professional. Friends may assume mutual understanding and commitment, but in business, clear expectations and boundaries are essential. Conflicts can arise when personal dynamics interfere with professional decisions, such as having to fire a friend if they no longer contribute effectively to the business.

What key lesson did Will Guidara learn from his experience at Eleven Madison Park?

Will Guidara learned that his identity was too intertwined with being a restaurateur. After selling his stake in Eleven Madison Park just before COVID, he faced an identity crisis. This experience taught him the importance of stopping to reflect on what he truly wanted next, leading him to write his book 'Unreasonable Hospitality' and transition into a new career phase focused on teaching hospitality.

How does vulnerability contribute to confidence in relationships, according to the conversation?

Vulnerability leads to confidence by allowing individuals to admit their mistakes and insecurities without fear of losing respect. Taking risks to be vulnerable in relationships—whether in friendship, business, or marriage—builds trust and understanding. Over time, this practice makes it easier to have honest conversations, admit faults, and strengthen connections.

What is the importance of compartmentalizing friendship and business relationships?

Compartmentalizing friendship and business relationships is crucial to maintaining respect and effectiveness. In a business context, friends must switch roles to act as colleagues, ensuring professionalism and clear decision-making. Conversely, in personal settings, they revert to their friendship dynamic. This separation prevents conflicts and ensures both relationships thrive without undermining each other.

Why do friendship breakups require the same effort as romantic or business breakups?

Friendship breakups require effort because they involve deep emotional investments and shared vulnerabilities. Unlike romantic or business relationships, friendships lack formal contracts, making it easier to avoid addressing issues. However, intentionally ending or addressing a failing friendship is an act of respect and generosity, helping both parties move forward with clarity and closure.

What is the significance of setting clear expectations when starting a business with friends?

Setting clear expectations is vital when starting a business with friends to avoid misunderstandings and resentment. It ensures both parties understand their level of commitment, responsibilities, and goals. Without clarity, assumptions can lead to conflicts, especially if one friend is more invested than the other. Open communication helps maintain both the business and the friendship.

How does respect play a role in maintaining dual relationships like friendship and business?

Respect is essential in maintaining dual relationships because it ensures that both parties honor the boundaries of each role. In a business context, respect means treating the friend as a colleague, avoiding over-familiarity that could undermine authority. In personal settings, it means prioritizing the friendship over professional dynamics. Balancing these roles fosters trust and mutual support.

What is the impact of COVID on Will Guidara's career and perspective?

COVID gave Will Guidara the gift of stopping and reevaluating his life. After selling his stake in Eleven Madison Park just before the pandemic, he faced an identity crisis. The pause forced by COVID allowed him to reflect on his next steps, leading him to write 'Unreasonable Hospitality' and shift his career focus from owning restaurants to teaching and writing about hospitality.

Why is it important to differentiate between public and private personas in relationships?

Differentiating between public and private personas is important because it shows respect for the context and the people involved. In public, individuals may need to adapt their behavior to fit societal norms or professional settings, while in private, they can be their true selves. This balance ensures that relationships remain authentic without compromising professionalism or social expectations.

What is the key to successfully working with friends in business, according to Will Guidara and Simon Sinek?

The key to successfully working with friends in business is maintaining both the friendship and the professional relationship separately. Clear communication, mutual respect, and setting boundaries are essential. Friends must be honest about their expectations and commitments, and they must be willing to switch roles depending on the context—acting as colleagues in business and friends in personal settings.

Chapters
This chapter explores the complexities of combining friendship and business. It examines the potential benefits and drawbacks, drawing from personal experiences and anecdotes. The discussion touches upon the importance of clear expectations, communication, and the potential for friendship breakups.
  • Combining friendship and business has both advantages and disadvantages.
  • Clear expectations and open communication are crucial for success.
  • Friendship breakups in business are possible and require careful handling.

Shownotes Transcript

They say business and pleasure don’t mix. But what about business and friends?

My dear friend Will Guidara is the perfect person to dive into this question because we're actively trying to get into business together. And, let's just say, it requires a lot of effort. 

In addition to being someone I love, Will is a renowned restaurateur, known for owning and operating Eleven Madison Park, once named the best restaurant in the world. He’s also the author of the brilliant book* Unreasonable Hospitality *and a co-producer of the HBO television series The Bear

Will and I have worked together before, so I was excited to chat with him about turning friends into colleagues, the reality of friendship breakups at work, and why sometimes showing respect means we have to change the way we treat a friend.

This…is A Bit of Optimism

For more on Will and his work, check out:

Unreasonable Hospitality)

The Art of Creating Fiercely Loyal Customers)