From Lost to Grateful with Aaron Murphy and John Kralik
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Welcome to another episode of Breaking Battlegrounds with your host Chuck Warren. I'm Sam Stone. Folks, as you know, obviously primarily this is a political talk show with our guests, but for the holiday seasons we like to bring in stories that are inspiring, stories that get you out of the mundane of politics and let you see the real humanity that's happening all around us that is too often hidden by the

Under the sensationalism of the national press and in line with that today, our first guest is someone I know Chuck and I are both very excited to talk to because his story is absolutely amazing. Aaron Murphy is a social media sensation who transformed his journey in South America into a mission to combat poverty.

Overcoming personal struggles, he immersed himself in the region, learning languages and understanding the socioeconomic landscape. His act of selflessness during the lockdown sparked a movement, inspiring donations to impoverished families. And one of the things, Chuck, I love is that he's not just donating. He's actually helping these folks build a life, a career, a sustainable path forward for themselves. Aaron Murphy, thank you so much for joining us and welcome to the program.

Thank you for having me on here, guys. So, Aaron, you went to South America before COVID hit. Limited budget. You went down there. COVID hit. And you stayed because you couldn't get back. Explain to us what this has meant for your life, going out and spending your time 24-7, giving people a better life. What has it meant to you?

Man, it's meant the world to me. Yeah, early 2019 was the year before, about the year that I sobered up. And I just wanted to take an adventure. So I grabbed my backpack. My mom worked for JetBlue at the time. So she gave me a buddy pass to fly down to Colombia. And I just fell in love with it, you know, to learn the language. I'm just, I'm chatting with people in the streets all day long. I'd buy them food and then just kind of like talk with them and hear their stories.

hear their story and try to learn their language. But ever since then, you know, it's led to, I have a family now. My, my girl's from Ecuador. We have a baby that was born in Quito, Ecuador last year. She's 12 months now. And so this is, yeah, it's led to a lot of beautiful, beautiful things. Aaron, are you, are you naturally an extrovert that you're able to just say, I'm going to talk to some street vendor and just carry a conversation? I mean, that's, that would be hard for a lot of people.

I mean, for me, you know, it comes natural. I enjoy it. I sometimes prefer chatting with complete strangers than, you know, people that I've known for most of my life because it's a one quick conversation. It's done, you know. So let's talk about that.

You're going and you have become this social media sensation, and you're raising money to go and help put people in homes. I understand you'd like to buy existing homes and improve them, but sometimes you can't do that. You have to build a new home. What is that process like, and how has it affected the people you've put into the home? Say you did it, for example, the first home you built or bought.

How has that changed that family's life now? Do you stay in touch with them? Can I back it up even, Chuck? How did you meet that family in the first place? How did you get to know them? Good question. I mean, just walking around and meeting people, you know, just –

I spent probably a year like couch surfing with people. I slept on hammocks and, you know, it was kind of a crazy journey at the beginning. Like I'd meet people in the streets and become friends and be like, Hey, I'm going to sleep at your house tonight. And they're like, all right. And at the beginning I'm like, damn, how cool would it be if I could just come back and buy him a fridge? I don't know. They don't have a fridge or a stove and,

But we've built quite a few houses. I've probably built over 100 homes. Wow. Solid, solid brick homes. And we've purchased quite a few as well. But it's something beautiful. Giving someone a house is...

is amazing because they can pass that down from generation to generation. I'm not a proponent for everyone getting free houses. I'm a huge believer that people need to work. And the house part is only a small part of it. My passion is building them a business.

And that's kind of what I what what really I fell in love with doing here. The house is just people like donating more to give a family a house rather than a business for some reason. But so I'll have a goal for like, let's say, $70,000 backwards on long term.

Yeah, I just don't think people understand it, right? And a home is a very concrete. Something everyone understands. Literally concrete, yeah. Have you ever had to turn somebody down for a home? You looked at them and said, you're not going to do the things to keep this home and provide a good home. Have you had to do that? Oh, man, every day, you know. We're getting pretty well known out here. So I'll get stopped maybe 20 times a day for, if it's not for pictures, it's, you know, I need a house. Look at the pictures of my house.

Um...

I generally look for people that are inspiring, you know, that have a really inspiring story. And I feel like people really, really connect to that. You know, I find people that are genuinely happy, that have a really good smile. You know, I'll look for people that are taking care of severely handicapped people, for example, in their villages. There's always a couple in every village you go to. And they're generally the most poor people that you could find, like mudflour,

just a garbage shack and no plumbing, no electricity, but they'll dedicate all of their money and food to helping out handicapped people, you know? So those are kind of just an idea of the people that I like to go and find and give a home. I was watching a video you had yesterday about a woman whose husband was killed. Sounded like a hit-and-run accident. Could you tell our folks a little bit about that process? How not only did you get the home, but you also helped her set up a store within her home so she could provide for her family?

Yeah, I'm trying to we've had a few of those examples, but I think there's one in Ecuador. So like I said, my main main thing is giving people work. I had a lot I had a lot of families that are kind of similar to this situation where the fathers are leaving and I could see the kids crying. They kind of do like a ceremony where the kids get together with the with the parents. And there's a lot of tears because they know a lot of times these Latinos are never going to come back.

They're going to be in the States forever, you know, so they're losing a piece. So that's that's the reason why this woman who lost her husband is always a job. So we I always make sure we carve out a solid percentage where we can we can build a store. And it's it's one of my favorite parts. We do a lot of research in the neighborhood. So, for example, if she has someone on our corner that has a corner store, I'm not going to build them a store.

Because I don't think it's real charity if I go and build a badass store that's going to be able to take care of her family, but then I'm taking the lady on the corner out of business. So if it's not a store, we'll build them sometimes an additional house above theirs for Airbnb. If they're in a touristic area, I'll buy them four-wheelers or little motorcycles they can rent out to tourists. We've built hundreds of coffee shops.

It's, you know, I mean, we've even got a semi truck for a father. Oh, wow. Really, really cool. We took him from making three, 400 bucks a month to, you know, making five, $6,000 a month, which is, I mean, that's like making a quarter million dollars a year. And, you know, that's incredible. We're with Aaron Murphy. He is the founder of Murph's life. You can also catch him on Instagram and Tik TOK at Murph's life. Aaron, do,

When you go and help them set up a business, do you follow up with them several months later or down the road just helping them with practical business advice at all so they can maximize what they're doing for their business? Or do you say, I'm going to set them up and leave them to their own devices?

We usually have a solid community of volunteers and friends, and we found that really, really helps. So I'll assign a lot of people because I'm genuinely doing a new family a week. So it's impossible for me to personally stay in touch with everyone.

uh but we we have we create like a like a community you know like i'll have friends that are that'll usually donate within the community you know like the wealthier families in these cities and they will it's really cool they'll go and teach them how to budget their money they'll show them spreadsheets they'll show them you know and for the most part it it it really helps out you know we've seen a lot of families now two three years down the road where it's like their kids are going to private schools

They're, you know, like these are families that were going to migrate to the states that now live above middle class, you know, in their countries. And it's really, really cool. But one of the things to answer your question is definitely community. You got to have a solid you got to bring in the community to help out. Do you find that these folks who have had this enormous struggle, especially folks who have a special needs family member, that kind of thing, that

Their level of responsibility when you give them this opportunity has to be very, very high. The commitment because they have to see the opportunity in front of them. I imagine you don't have too many people who kind of just fall down on the thing.

At the beginning, it kind of did. Like I said, my passion is just building businesses for families. So kind of at the beginning, I'm just like, oh, this would be a cool business idea. And rather than...

You know, so for now, I kind of like you really have to figure out what they know how to do, what they're good at doing. And then, like, for example, if it's if it's a single mom with a handicapped son, it takes all of her time to take care of that son. Like, I'm not going to go and build them a small business outside of her home. It has to be within her house. And if she has a neighbor that has a small business like on her street that I would take away from, I'm going to buy her a house.

In another neighborhood i'm going to try to get her a corner house where there's no one else at the store Uh, and and these are the it's the small little details like this that we can ensure You know that they're going to have success. There's never a hundred percent way of someone having success, you know, right? It's like someone winning the lottery and you expecting them to be able to invest that properly You know, we can look at pro sports players. A lot of them go bankrupt. A lot of pro boxes go bankrupt you know, um

I don't know if it's still the majority of athletes, but it was at one point. Well, it's a majority of lottery winners. Yeah. That's for sure. Aaron, do you have a problem at all with local governments when you're doing these projects? I mean, you're sort of taking the bull by the horn here. Do you have our local municipal officials, they give you any guff? No.

I mean, a few times, because if you really follow the book down here, like you got to go get your permits and you got to do this and you got to do that. And then before you know, it's like four or five months have passed by. I just do it. I just go in, I build the stuff, I build the house and I do it. And then I'll ask...

I'll ask, you know, what is that term? I'll say sorry later. But for the most part, the government has been really, really cool. I've met with a few presidents. We met with the president Bukele here of El Salvador, and he's helped us out a ton in El Salvador. You know, he's gotten us in contact with the Ministry of Education. We're building a school with them. We're building, you know, we've helped out with hospitals.

So in that sense, it's been good. But then other, you know, I've had people in government in Mexico, for example, where it's just like, hey, I want my cut, you know. I'm not saying like the top up there, you know, but this is more like mayors and stuff where... It's very much a tradition in Mexico. Yeah. I mean, all over Latin America. There's so many resources that I've been down here for almost eight years now living in Latin America. I lived in Brazil for a few years, Colombia, everywhere, you know. And it's just...

It's in the culture for deep-seated corruption. Every country will have 10 families where they want to keep that wealth. A president will go into term, and then all of a sudden they come out, and it's like their value went up $300 million. There's a lot of big hopes and dreams entering office and big bank accounts exiting office. Exactly. Exactly.

Aaron Murphy, we're going to be coming back with more from him in just a moment here, folks. We have to go to break here, but you can check him out at MurphsLife.com. That's MurphsLife, M-U-R-P-H-S-L-I-F-E.com. And definitely check that out. He's got a Christmas toy program going on right now. Definitely need folks out there to contribute and help out with that. Breaking Battlegrounds, we'll be back with more in just a moment.

At Overstock, we know home is a pretty important place, and that's why we believe everyone deserves a home that makes them happy. Whether you're furnishing a new house or apartment or simply looking to update and refresh a few rooms, Overstock has everyday free shipping and amazing deals on the beautiful, high-quality furniture and decor you need to transform any home into the home of your dreams. Overstock, making dream homes come true.

Welcome back to Breaking Battlegrounds with your hosts, Sam Stone and Chuck Warren. On the line with us right now, Aaron Murphy of Murph's Life. He has been doing amazing things across Latin America. We're continuing on with that conversation. But folks, if you want to do amazing things for yourself and your family's future, check out our friends at investwirefi.com.

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But it is secured, collateralized portfolio, high rate of return, no volatility. You cannot beat that in this economy. So check them out, investyrefi.com. That's invest, the letter Y, then refi.com. Or give them a call at 888-YREFI24 and tell them Chuck and Sam sent you. So we're with Aaron Murphy. Again, he is a...

social media sensation here. He's doing great things in South America. You can follow him on social media at TikTok at Murph's Life. Aaron, tell us a little bit about your Toy Story project and how people can contribute and what you're planning to do with that down there for the Christmas season.

Yeah, so the last four years I've been giving out quite a few toys to kids down here. And, you know, we had a couple years ago we did 70,000 children just in El Salvador. You know, we give every year about 5,000 to 10,000 kids in Venezuela, about seven or eight Latin countries.

And, you know, last year we gave quite a few toys out and I, and I know I saw this one kid playing with this plastic truck and it broke within the same day. And then it was just kind of like this come to God moment for me. It's just like, why am I giving out? I don't know if I can swear on your show, but why am I giving out garbage? I'll say, you know, why, why am I giving out this cheap garbage? This is a Christian family network. So we appreciate your, uh, your restraint. Yeah.

Yeah, I'm a solid Christian myself, but swearing is the one thing that I got to break the habit. Anyway, I'm just giving out garbage for the most part. You know what I mean? And so this year we built a toy factory. It's very small. We built a toy factory for the indigenous women of the Amazon in Ecuador. And so this tribe is the Kichwa tribe, and they're really close. We named our daughter actually after her.

after uh one of the each wall words down there but these women live off about 60 bucks a month and tons of alcoholism within the men uh so we built we built this and we're paying them a it's a doctor's entry level wage for this country so they're getting paid over a thousand dollars plus bonuses which is huge like no one no one over there makes that unless you're

Doctor or a politician stealing money So it's really really cool. They're making these handcrafted dolls. We bought all the machinery. We're teaching them We have a women's shelter where we teach them how to sew and then put them into that women's shelter And yeah, they're producing quite a few dollars anywhere from 150 up to a thousand dollars a day and these dolls We're gonna be distributing everywhere. We bought machines to make soccer balls. We're making like quality FIFA quality soccer balls and

So that's that's the idea now. It's like I want to give out as many toys as I can, because now it's not even so much like it's really cool that the child got a gift, which a lot of them don't have any toys or these areas that we're giving toys out. But what's more important for me is it's it's providing jobs, you

You know, so it kind of goes back into these families, micro economies. Yeah, that's fantastic. They can put their kids to school, buy medicine. And I think it's awesome. Let me ask you this. You've been very honest about the fact that you dealt before you started these projects with some severe anxiety and you, you know, you try to get out of it with drinking and smoking and so forth. How has this life dedicated to serving others helped you deal with, with anxiety?

I think I was getting anxiety. Yeah, like probably right after high school. I grew up, my dad had severe anxiety his whole life. You know, we're in church and his leg is just tapping, you know, a lot of Xanax and

And so for me, like, as I'm growing up, I'm like, oh, this is just hereditary, you know? Like, it looks like I have to get my bottle of Xanax too. And kind of got to a point when I mixed that with heavy drinking and a lot of drug use. Like, you know, just the party scene. It got out of control. I'm like 90% felt like I was walking on glass, you know? Like, I'm just about to break into water. I can't explain it, you know? It was severe anxiety. But the thing for me that got me out of it was

I mean, there's no other way to put it. It was through fasting. That was the only way that I was able to do it. There's certain demons that we can only overcome through legit fasting. No food, no water, and I'm just in prayer with God. And that's the thing that helped me let go of alcohol, that helped me let go of nicotine, of any type of prescription drug, you know, to be completely, completely sober.

Um, and then from there it's just discipline. Like I have to go to the gym a few times a week. I have to, you know, and so the charity part is just one small, small part of it, you know, but do you, but do you find, but my question for you is because you look, you're really making a sacrifice and I'm sure there's great benefits to it, but do you find focusing on other people, you know, trying to raise money and put people in homes, um,

Do you find that takes you away from yourself and helps reduce your anxiety and your personal concerns? I think it does for a bit. You know, I think it gives you purpose. Right. You know what I mean? I think it gives you purpose. But when you genuinely dive into this work.

It's, you know, like what's a good example? Like a lot of people love charity because they'll feel inclined to hand someone some money, you know, and they'll have this ecstasy emotion, right? One and done. Yeah, one and done. Uh-huh. And they'll look at people who do my work and be like, you must feel good 24-7. But I'm kind of like, I'm like the gynecologist of charity. You know, after you've seen it so many times, it's like, all right. Well, it's also the thing too, I'm sure, is while you've helped many people,

It's like you said earlier, there's people you do not decide to help for various reasons. People are people and they're going to let you down, even those you help. And so what have you learned about gratitude doing all of this? What do you find? What is the difference between people you find that you help to have a grateful heart versus those who don't?

I mean, gratitude is the biggest thing that it's, it's one of the things that I pray most about on a, on a daily basis for me to learn gratitude. Um, you know, cause I, we run into people, you know, we, we gave a house a few months ago to a man and his three daughters and he just like sold everything and super alcoholism. Right. And then, you know, I'm, I'm seeing my, my,

you know, my wife just in tears, like we spent so much time and energy and so much, you know, and he actually lost his kids. They're living in an orphanage right now. And so it's really hard. Like, it's a very spiritual work for me. Like every single case is something new for me to like overcome and not judge and kind of let go, you know, yes, of those attachments of what I think, how I think they should act or how I like an outcome.

You know, and it can like going back to the anxiety, doing this work can actually create a lot of anxiety because I'm like, you know, I'll get bombarded sometime depending on the towns. You know, I can have 20 families waiting outside of my house and they'll have children with like cancer and tumors and in tears. Like my son's going to die. And I have to just like witness that and hear that. And like and for me, I'm like, OK, what is it?

You know, and I don't really ever say this, but I'm like, I always hear that term like W. Like, what would Jesus do? You know, and that really like is powerful in that moment where I just want to be like everyone F off. Like, this is my F in home. You know, like I need space. My wife's in there about to break up with me. Like, we can't. You know what I mean? Yeah. But then at the same time, it's like it's a very powerful.

I love it in a sense of like I have this opportunity, this marvelous opportunity. It's a it's a balance for sure. But you are bringing a lot of opportunity and a lot of joy to a lot of folks. We have just 30 seconds left. How do folks stay in touch with you and your work?

It's Murph's Life on all socials. So M-U-R-P-H-S-L-I-F-E. If you guys want to donate to Christmas, it's X-M-I-S-H. So Christmas.MurphsLife.com. Or we have a GoFundMe on our Murph's Life account. Or just donate any way you want on our website. Fantastic. Yeah, other than that, I appreciate y'all. Aaron Murphy, thank you so much for joining us today. We really appreciate having you. Folks, check out MurphsLife.com. Murph's Life on all your various social media. Breaking Battlegrounds back in just a moment.

Welcome back to Breaking Battlegrounds with your host, Chuck Morin. I'm Sam Stone. Big thank you to Aaron Murphy of Murph's Life for joining us and taking time this morning. Our next guest also is someone we are honored to have on the program today. John Kralik is a judge appointed by Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger to be a judge in the Los Angeles Superior Court. But he is also the author of 365 Thank Yous and A Simple Act of Gratitude.

Obviously, after an amazing career, he had a tough 2007 and decided to start 2008 with a serious New Year's resolution. To be thankful for the good things and people in his life, he spent the next year writing one thank you note for each day to family, friends, coworkers, even the barista at his local Starbucks. And these notes make up his new book, 365 Thank Yous.

The year, a simple act of daily gratitude changed my life. John Kralik, thank you for taking time this morning and joining us on our program.

Good morning, Sam. Good morning, Chuck. It's good to be here. I'm grateful that you reached out to me. And each day seems to bring some sign of gratitude to me that I didn't receive before. And I probably did receive it before, but I didn't notice until this event really changed my life. And that brings us to the point. So as I read your book, but as I have read more about your life and listened to some of your interviews,

Um, when you, before you wrote this book, you were going through a very hard time in life. You finished your second divorce, which you made a comment on an interview, which I found fascinating. And the first time we could blame the other person. The second time we got to start looking at ourselves and you're having some business problems. They're just, everything just, it just, everybody has it. Everybody has those moments in life. Everything's piled up and you took a hike one day.

And tell us, as you know, we usually get answers in those quiet moments, right? When we're by ourself, the noise is gone. What happened that day that changed the course of your life?

Well, it was the one day I couldn't work. I'd worked every day practically that year, and the result was a net income of minus $12,652. And I was going through my second divorce, and I had a new girlfriend who didn't broke up with me. And I had a million-dollar jury verdict that was just thrown out of court. And I...

This was the one day when you can't work if your office is in Pasadena because they have the parade going. So I got lost in the Angeles National Forest. And there was a voice that came to me, and I didn't think it came from me. I was...

It was insistent and persistent, and it had specific words, and the words were, until you learn to be grateful for the things you have, you will not receive the things that you want.

And I was in the mood that, you know, I thought, what do I have to be grateful for? I didn't feel grateful at all. So I don't think this voice came from me. And I was walking down the path. I finally I was lost. But, you know,

If you head downwards, you're eventually going to get out of the mountain. And I processed this. I remembered I had notes. I remembered how my grandfather would always respond. If you wrote him a thank you note, he'd send you a silver dollar. Some of my cousins learned that lesson, and they had enough money to start their own business, but I never followed up.

So I thought maybe it was time to follow up. And, you know, it was a New Year's resolution. So five days later, I hadn't done anything. But the woman who broke up with me had perfect manners. Her mom was once queen of the Rose Bowl parade. And she wrote me a beautiful thank you note for her Christmas present. And I thought, you know,

I got some Christmas presents. So I started writing notes right there. And the first was to my son who'd given me a gift. And, you know, when I sat down, I realized I had let him get away from me. I didn't even know his address. And that's one thing about writing thank you notes is you really have to focus on the person.

because you have to think about where are they? We just send things off into cyberspace these days. But a couple days later, he called and asked me out to lunch

And then he picked up the check, which was revolutionary. And he shoved an envelope of cash across the table. And he said, you know, I'm paying back the loan. And, you know, parents write off loans as soon as they're made. So I was going to push it back. But then I thought, you know what? I really need the money. And so and he needed to grow up. And, you know, I talk to my son almost every day now.

And it started with this thank you note. And the other thought I had was, you know, I ought to keep writing these notes because this really works. You know, and the thing that happened was I started noticing all the beautiful things that I already had in my life.

Chief was my beautiful eight-year-old daughter who made a home out of the crummy apartment I was living in. John, hey, John, just one minute here. We got about...

20 seconds here for a break. We're going to stop you right there. Tell us quickly how people buy your book real quick still. Sure. It's available on Amazon. The paperback is a simple act of gratitude. If you're going to go all the way to the hardback, that one is called 365 Thank Yous. Thank you. Fantastic. Breaking Battlegrounds. We'll be back with more in just a moment from John Kralik. Amazing stories today, folks. Stay tuned.

At Overstock, we know home is a pretty important place, and that's why we believe everyone deserves a home that makes them happy. Whether you're furnishing a new house or apartment or simply looking to update and refresh a few rooms, Overstock has everyday free shipping and amazing deals on the beautiful, high-quality furniture and decor you need to transform any home into the home of your dreams. Overstock, making dream homes come true.

Folks, welcome back to Breaking Battlegrounds. We're continuing on with more from John Kralik. In just a moment, he is the author of 365 Thank Yous. How learning to say thank you changed my life. And one of the ways you can change your life, obviously, is through financial security. You've heard Chuck and I talking for a long time about investwyrefi.com. But a lot of people still don't understand what it is. And it's kind of perfect for this holiday season. And it's a great way to start your day.

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John, please continue before we interrupt you for the break about your son and so forth. You know, really the thing I had the most to be grateful was this beautiful eight-year-old daughter who made a home of what I had for a home at that time. I was paying for two houses as a result of two divorces, but I just lived in a crummy apartment. But she loved it.

And she taught me to love it. And she made a little fort in the corner. And every home we moved into after that, we always...

set up a fort, which was her little place. But I learned during this year, I think, to be grateful for things, but also to accept things. And, you know, I remember one of the great days of that year was freezing cold. The autumn leaves were floating on the surface of the crummy, unclean pool in our apartment. And she just jumped in. And then I looked at her and I go, wow.

you know, what are you doing? And she goes, come on, dad, be a man. And, you know, that was a message to me, you know, to grow up and take responsibility for my actions. And that was a transformative thing. Many things transformed during that year. You know, I started running marathons again for charity and,

And arguably, I was doing that just because I would get people to donate, and then I would have to write them a thank you note. So I was putting myself in a position where I would have thank you notes to write, and it turned out to be a long journey.

where I was learning to be a better person. And, you know, I did receive many material benefits from this. It was 2008, so I lost my biggest client. It was a bank that went into, you know, FDIC receivership.

But because I was finding my good clients and being thankful to them, they started paying their bills faster. And I got a referral here and there from other lawyers, and they would say when I would write them a thank you note,

gee, I didn't know you wanted a case. And I said, well, that's just exactly the kind of case I want. So I ended up having a very successful comeback year. And, you know, the biggest change was I ended up being appointed as a judge, which was something I'd given up on completely. Which is an amazing accomplishment. How much...

One of the things it sounds like from hearing your story is it sounds like learning to say thank you and be grateful to all these folks really made you more aware of the everyday little blessings and things you could take strength and comfort in each day. Is that the case? I mean, how much has this changed your outlook on life as you go through each day?

Well, I was the kind of, first of all, I was so depressed. I mean, I really, I wasn't suicidal to the point that I was looking for places to

to end my life. But I was doing things like walking across the street without looking and not really caring. I had reached that kind of point of despair where I thought everybody would be better off with the life insurance proceeds. And I, you know, if you asked me how I was doing, I would give you some sad sack look and tell you the latest disaster in my life. You know, my girlfriend broke up with me, whatever, but you know, I,

I began saying things differently. I would say, you know, I received this or my daughter did this last night and it was the cutest thing. And it just, it,

I began to, because I was focusing on those good things, when people would ask me, I would relate something that I'd written in the thank you note. So I had a better outlook on life. Basically, you're building a reservoir, correct? You're building a reservoir of gratitude. So when the tough times come and they stay for a while, happens to everybody, you are able to reflect on these blessings. Yes.

Yeah. In fact, if this was a visual, the one visual aid I always use is that I kept a spreadsheet of my thank you notes. And the, I still, I kept doing that after the 365 thank you notes were done. And I wrote about 1600 personal notes, not counting notes to people who write to me and say, I loved your book. Right. You know, there are more hundreds and it's,

It cost me $70 to print the thing. I couldn't print it here at work, obviously. It would be like stealing from your employer. How bad can your life be if you could just take out something and see 1,600 beautiful things that people have done for you? That is a great point.

We don't keep track accurately. You know, I found myself writing thank you notes to my ex-wives because, you know, I wasn't noticing the good things they were doing. You know, I was only noticing the bad things and the good.

A thank you note is a short thing. It has no room for your other thoughts, right? You know, if you write a thank you email, you have an unlimited room to then keep going until you hang yourself with the next thing you say. Right. But a thank you note, you just, you talk about what you've been given. You talk about why you appreciate that person and, and then you're done. Yeah.

Let me ask you this. I like handwritten notes. I do them a lot. Why is a thank you note such a better way of doing this than just doing a verbal thank you? Or an email. Or an email or a text. Why is that more significant, not only for the receiver, but for the giver? Well, for the giver, you have to figure out, you focus on that person. So like with my Christmas cards, I was thinking that person,

They're going to be going to their mailbox and they're going to be getting all their credit card bills for what all the money they spent on gifts last month. And it would be really nice if you could give them something that was going to help them think that maybe that was worth it. And you can figure out where they're living, what they're struggling with.

you're really focusing on them and not yourself. But these days, you know, I don't know about your email program, but anytime somebody does something for me, I get a prompt to say thank you in the response from the AI. And everybody, you know, it's not...

it's going to happen like this year, probably, that the thank you note will be written for you by the AI. So you want something to, a handwritten note comes from you personally. It's like, I tell the lawyers, come to court in person, show that you care. You know, this is not just talking on the phone. And this brings you personally into that person's life. And people treat it like a gift. I get thank you notes all the time.

from people who are just thanking me for writing them a thank you note. And it's just so – also, I think you have to slow down. It takes you a little more time. Correct. And it brings – it's sort of like a Zen thing, really, at the end of your day to write a thank you note.

So it has a lot of different benefits than just – these days I often send a text and a thank you note because four days later people are wondering, did he get that thing? And I don't – so I think that the immediacy has caused you to – caused me to add the text because I'll take a picture of the gifts and know it arrived.

and that I care about it, and then I'll write a thank you note. Do you feel friendships are strengthened when you go and show your appreciation and gratitude the way you're doing for those who are in your life?

Well, in the book, I relate how I have these friends from college, and that had been another period of depression in my life, probably even worse. And these friends really saved my life, and I was on a very destructive tear.

And I looked them up and wrote them thank you notes, and that renewed all those friendships. I ended up when my daughter, who is now 23 years old, and we're picking her up at the airport today, she lives in Brooklyn, she went to the University of Michigan where I went and

My college roommate, who I had renewed my friendship with, he and I went back every year while she was at Michigan and went to a football game and took her out to dinner. So, you know, I had a doctor who had prolonged my life in my 30s, and

And I was writing him a thank you note 15 years later. He was so happy to hear from somebody because, you know, when you're a doctor or a lawyer or anybody else, you hear from all the unhappy. Right. You know, and and so it was really unusual. And and when you inject that into somebody's life.

they realize that and then they start writing thank you notes. And so this just goes out from there. I've gotten so many notes from people who say, this is my 365th note and I'm writing it to you. So I was just going to ask if, if you had had people who picked up on that idea, cause it's such a fundamental, it's such a simple fundamental thing that,

How much have you heard from them? Have they been able to transform their lives in the way you have? Well, I'm hoping when I ever get time to write the sequel that, you know, I can focus on some of those stories and look back at them. But people, I find, that had much worse problems than I did have.

were able to focus on the positive in their life and heal broken relationships and find new relationships. And it's all, and you don't know where, when they write their 365 thank you notes, where that's going out. You know, my dad wrote 365 thank you notes before he died. And, and,

He wrote one to me, and it was interesting. I was going through his things, and I found this old pamphlet that he had that said, Be thankful for your troubles. And it was like the standard 50s sort of self-help thing. And it was just every –

Every other word was underlined in yellow by him, and I realized I hadn't been thankful for – perhaps he tried to teach me that. My grandfather did, and I just – one of the things I'm doing right now is I found so many things in his garage –

that, you know, showed me his efforts to teach me things. And I refused to learn. I mean, it was the 60s and 70s, so I was rejecting everything he told me. And now I'm going back and trying to be, trying to relearn those lessons and think about them. When you're having, obviously this has really helped change your life, but when you're having a bad day, we only have about two minutes left here, but when you're having a bad day,

How much are you able to just say, hey, I'm going to find that thing that I can be grateful for, and that changes the course of that day? Well, the discipline of writing one note a day was part of it, you know, because it's like I still have to find that thing, you know. Right. And it's, you know, my employees all pulled together, and then I would see them write thank you notes to each other. Right.

It's just you have to find that one good thing. And absolutely, you can do it. At the end of that day, how many people come home alone? Well, now I am remarried, and I'm not alone anymore. And my beautiful daughter is coming home today for Thanksgiving.

That's wonderful. We always forget the one good thing that happened to us because we're just so overcome by the negative things. You know what? I'm going to stop you and leave it there because I think that's the perfect way to end this segment.

Folks, we really appreciate you, as always, our listeners tuning in. And thank you to John Kralik. Also to Aaron Murphy. Sorry, I was blanking on his first name there, Chuck. John Kralik, Aaron Murphy, thank you both today. We really appreciated having you. Folks, find that thing to be grateful for. Find that thing to write your own thank you note.

and find that opportunity to spend some quality time with your family this weekend. If you tune in for our podcast, and you should, we've got more coming up. Otherwise, we will talk to you next week. The 2022 political field was intense, so don't get left behind in 2024. If you're running for political office, the first thing on your to-do list needs to be securing your name on the web. With a yourname.votewebdomain from godaddy.com. Get yours now.

Welcome to the podcast segment of Breaking Battlegrounds. Big thanks to our earlier guests, Aaron Murphy of Murph's Life. Make sure you check them out, murphslife.com, for all the work he's doing. And Judge John Kralik, author of 365 Thank Yous, A Simple Act of Gratitude. You can catch that on Amazon. But next up, and continuing with our holiday theme and with the theme of gratitude, Chuck,

We have Pastor Carl Wimmer here to talk about gratitude from a biblical perspective. Carl Wimmer is the pastor of First Baptist Church of Duchesne, also recently elected to the Utah-Idaho Southern Baptist Convention Executive Board.

He has degrees from Liberty University, one in marriage, one in family therapy, and one in biblical theology. So he has been a busy student. He's added in a master's degree in Christian and biblical apologetics from Liberty University and is pursuing his doctorate of ministry from Southern Evangelical Seminary. Carl Wimmer, welcome to the program.

Boy, thank you. It's an honor to be here with you, and great, great to join you on a topic that, well, it's one that I'm passionate about, giving thanks and having gratitude. So, Carl, as you minister to people, what is the difference of the makeup of people that you minister to who have a grateful heart versus those who do not recognize their blessings?

Well, it's an incredible difference. And the fact is, it's just simply this. People who are grateful, people who take time, whether it's every day, honestly, in this day and age, if people would even recognize the blessings they have in their life, even once a week, my experience

not from a preaching standpoint, but from a counseling standpoint would be utterly changed. And you got to think about the significance of that. My job at counseling with individuals, counseling with couples would be drastically changed if people took time out even once or twice a week to

to ponder and think about the things they have to be grateful for because honestly, there are very, very few people in America who have

no reason to give thanks and to be grateful. We are so utterly blessed, yet we have a generation, we are becoming a generation, a multi-generation of people who have no gratitude and no thankfulness for the things that we have in our life. And that is tragic. Pastor, when you're able to open people's eyes to the benefit of

understanding and acknowledging the good things that are around them, having gratitude for the simple things in life. How much have you seen that change their fundamental outlook on their future?

I've seen it, and without exaggeration, I've seen it change marriages. I've seen it change people who are recovering drug addicts and alcoholics. I have a lot of those in my congregation, people who are at various stages of recovery from drug addiction and alcoholism, people who are going through really rough times in their marriages. And one of – I am not a licensed –

marriage counselor, but I got a degree in that because I knew it would be as helpful as a pastor, and it has been. And one of the things that I focus heavily on is being grateful for the things that you have, grateful for the just life in general. And one of the things that I tell people to try to remember every single morning when they wake up, as soon as their feet

Come off the bed and onto the floor is give gratitude to God for one thing in your life. So as soon as your feet hit the floor, say, thank you, God, for another day. Thank you, God, for my children. Thank you, God, for my health. Just one thing. So you are waking up and literally the first thing you do is a mini prayer of gratitude. And I encourage my congregation to do that. It's something I have put into practice.

Um, so every day you're giving thanks for something in your life. It's life changing. It will change your attitude. It starts your day off, right? It doesn't guarantee you're going to have a great day. You can go out there and have a terrible day, but at least you have reflected on at least one thing that you can give gratitude for. I love that Chuck. It reminds me of the,

the scene or monologue from Jerry Maguire where Jerry's mentor says he gets up out of bed every morning, puts his feet on the floor, claps his hands together and says, today will be a great day. Yeah, it would change your outlook a lot. You know, Carl, in 1 Corinthians 12, they talk about the gifts of the Spirit. Do you think gratitude is a gift we should pray for? Yeah.

Absolutely. 100%. It just doesn't happen, right? I mean, it's like any other gift. You have to work at it. You have to pray for it. I think people just think, you know, I mean, some people naturally have sort of a grateful heart. I think I'm sort of that person in a way. But you still, you want to take it to the next level, right? And so explain to us why we need to do that.

Well, the opposite of that is a warning. And here's Paul. Paul the Apostle, really the greatest evangelist in the history of the world, wrote 13 of the 27 books of the New Testament. Just an on-fire, passionate person for Jesus, yet he was stoned nearly to death.

Matter of fact, in the early chapters of Acts, he is stoned and dragged out and thrown in the bushes because they thought he was dead. So imagine how much damage they had done to his face and to his body for them to think he was actually dead. Yet he speaks about gratitude, the gifts of the Spirit, or thankfulness. And then in his second letter to Timothy –

In his second letter of Timothy, he warns Timothy, and he warns people. He warns them in the end days, and he lists off 19 different – I think 18, 19 different attributes of evil found in evil people. And it goes, for people will be lover of selfs.

lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, and ungrateful. Ungrateful. He lists a lack of gratitude as

along with being abusive and arrogant and boastful, a lack of gratitude is one of the traits that Paul lists as common denominators amongst evil people. And that's in 2 Timothy 3, too, for anyone who's taken notes. But it...

It is a gift because our human nature is to want more, desire more, to be envious, to look at our neighbors and see what our neighbors have and want that. Whereas we should be praying to recognize the blessings in our life. And I

If you woke up this morning, I'm just going to say this. If you woke up this morning and you are living in the United States of America, a country that was founded by pilgrims who came here for religious freedom, who came here and the first winter, 44 of those pilgrims died.

died. 44 of the original 102 died. And yet in 1621, their second winter here, they took time

to recognize and give thanks for God's provision in their life. You don't have it that hard. I mean, you do not have it that hard living in America in 2023. And if the pilgrims could give thanks after half of their relatives and friends died, you can give thanks living today in a day and age that they could have never imagined. Well, I'll give an example why I think this is a gift that

that we need to develop and like God wants us to develop it. So we just had John Kralik and we were telling you a little before, he wrote the book 365 Thank Yous and

Yeah. His comment was that his life was just a complete train wreck. I don't know where to start. He had no relationship with his kids. He's going through a second divorce. He's about ready to lose his business. He's getting evicted. I mean, all the bad things that could probably happen except he sort of has life. He also mentioned the fact that he was a bit suicidal. I mean, he wouldn't mind just walking into a street if a car hit him. It was like he was planning locations, but he was in a bad mental state. So...

New Year's Day, he works in Pasadena. You can't work in Pasadena New Year's Day. They have this thing called the Rose Bowl and a parade. So he says the only day he didn't work. So he went on a hike. And as you know, we receive often inspiration in quiet times. I don't think people understand that. You have to have the proper environment to get that inspiration, right? And he said at the time as he's hiking, the following came to him in a very clear voice.

"Until you learn to be grateful for the things you have, you will not receive the things you want." And from this he put together the 365Us. And as we were talking about earlier, he's done it over the years, written these thank you notes, and he's kept an Excel list of all the thank yous. - Since 2008. - Since 2008. So he now has 60 or 80 pages he's printed up now of these people he's written thank yous to, and he says,

When you get a little depressed and you look at that, you realize life's pretty good. So actually, Chuck, it was 1,600 pages. Was it 1,600 pages? Yes, 1,600 pages. Wow. So, Carl, maybe what we need to tell our friends, what you need to tell your flock is, yes, get up and give gratitude.

But let's make it something concrete so that when times are bad in a couple years, you can pull up your 60, 100, 200,000 pages of thank yous and say, you know, I have it pretty good. This is a hiccup right now.

Yep, absolutely. Yes. Yes, absolutely right. Absolutely right. And I think that you keep bringing it back, and I think it's appropriate you keep bringing it back to the gifts of the Spirit that are outlined in 1 Corinthians. And you're absolutely right. If you have an ungrateful heart, if you find yourself being envious of everything or just simply, you know, what I see, gentlemen, is just a

in a lot of people today is just a lack of contentment. Yes. We always want more. We want more. Yeah. Yep. People are just not content. And that is a type of, I mean, it is, it is obviously you, if you're grateful, you are content. It doesn't mean that you, you just sit there and you do nothing. I mean, obviously there's, there's,

There's great benefit in being motivated to continue to, you know, seek that, you know, be the squirrel that's seeking the nut and doing things and trying to bring, earn money and provide for your family. But if you are one who is just absolutely in your heart, completely discontent and always discontent,

That is something you've got to ask. You've got to talk to God about that. You've got to ask him for contentment and for gratitude to show you the things that you have to be grateful for. That's a fantastic point. It's like, you know, we have people in our life and we should love them unconditionally how they are now.

but that doesn't mean we don't want them to get more out of life. And I think it's the same concept. It's the same concept. Absolutely right. The things you seed are eventually the things you grow, right? So if you seed that gratitude in your life and in the life of others around you, you're going to reap that tenfold, a hundredfold in your lifetime, right? Well, you're absolutely right. And one example, one thing that...

Well, one thing that I run into when counseling with couples is each couple feels, regardless of how the words they put, the way they put it, they feel either unloved or disrespected. And

a lack of gratitude towards your spouse, a lack of gratitude towards your coworkers, your employees, the people who work for you, the things that they do every day to make your life better, not recognizing those things makes someone feel unwanted, makes them feel just disrespected and unloved. The opposite of that

is showing gratitude to them, showing gratefulness for the little things. If your assistant brings you a cup of coffee every morning and that's just something you have come to expect and you actually get angry if they don't, rather than showing gratitude for their kindness, there's...

there's a difference there and your life you know you think you're changing others lives by showing gratitude you're actually changing your own life by expressing and showing gratefulness for people and the things around you absolutely well there's I want to sort of end on a quote I like it's very simple it's from Will Arnett he's a comedian and he simply said I'm happy because I'm grateful

I choose to be grateful. That gratitude allows me to be happy. Easy enough. Well, Carl, give my best to the missus and your family, and I hope you have a great Thanksgiving. And folks, thank you for joining Breaking Battlegrounds. We're grateful for our audience and our active listeners, and we hope you have a great weekend with those you love and take the opportunity to reach out to somebody you haven't talked to in a while. I'm sure they'll appreciate it. Have a happy Thanksgiving. Carl, thanks a million. Thank you very much, Guy.