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And just like that, we back on the air. Welcome back to another Carefully Reckless episode with your girl Jessalyn. Today I got one of my good friends, LaBrea Shannon. I studied because we call her LaBrea, but I like her whole name together. LaBrea Shannon. Say what's up, LaBrea. Damn, what's up, y'all? What's your famous line? What's going on? What's going on? You always say that. You don't ever want to.
But yeah, so... I don't know why you're fighting me. Shut up. Today's topic... Today's topic is rather debatable. Y'all know I always go against the grain and talk about shit that will forever be debatable. It's letting go. Letting go of someone. Not friendship. Not family member. But guys...
And vice versa, you know, if you're letting go of a female, if you're letting go of a guy, it can be very hard. And I brought my girl in because she went through that recently. I've been through it plenty of times, and I just want a different person's feedback other than myself and my fans. So, yeah. I'm here for it. What's up? I'm here. I'm ready to tell my story. So you've been in a relationship, a long-term relationship. Tell me about it. How long was it? It was some years, and it ended pretty well for me.
It didn't end well for you? No. What you mean? Okay, tell me. I was down and stuck. Okay, so he left you? Yeah, pretty much. He left you, okay. What did you do? You know what I'm saying? Why? Why was it? Why did he leave you? You know? I feel like I gave too much and it wasn't reciprocated. And so when it was time to like
when when stuff started getting shaky and rocky it was like i was that one that was always going to be there okay okay i get it so you were convenient for this man basically pretty much he used up all that you gave as long as you were giving he was using it up and like you said reciprocity wasn't in place like he was not giving you what you were giving him yeah which a lot of times is the case you know and that's on man and female sides you know what i mean like i i've i've been
on both ends of that stick, like where I give a guy too much and then I get almost nothing at all. And then a guy will give me his everything, but that's not the one I want, you know? So it was like, we all go through that.
How did it get to... I feel like at the moment in my life, I was very vulnerable. You were vulnerable. So my vulnerability gave in to some situations that probably wasn't for me. Yeah. And so because I was vulnerable, I was with it. Were you vulnerable? Were you recovering from a previous relationship? Were you on drugs? Like, what was going on? How were you vulnerable? No drugs. It just was like, you know, like life, period. So it was a lot of shit going on. Yeah.
he was there. Yeah. He was your ear. Yeah. He was your shoulder. My ear, my happy hour partner, my going on partner, my eating partner, my partner I can just tell everything to and then stuff just faded. And that's how you fall in love. And that's how you fall in love. Those are all of the ingredients to I'm falling for you. Thanks. Especially when you got a happy hour. What? You got a happy hour buddy. Happy hour buddy baby. Yeah, from the anytime
Where we going? What's going on? What's next? Like, it was, everything was like a heavy rotation. Like, we was just vibing and like, you know, and we was friends first. Like, if anything hit the fan, like, we was friends first and then, you know, things went from A to B, whatever, whatever, whatever. That's another story for another day. But, it happened. We didn't cover it next week. I'm going to say, I'll come back with,
I'll come back with the juice. I gotta take it slow. I'll come back with the juice though. You'll come back with the juice? I'm sorry guys, I'm gonna interpret. She's from deep, deep down in Baltimore so she said she's gonna come back with the juice. The tea. The tea. The tea. The tea. The tea. The tea. The tea. The tea.
Okay, you was down or whatever. Okay, did you ever try to rekindle that? Absolutely. I wanted to fight for what I love. Even though you gave, even though you was the one giving everything, you know what I'm saying? And it wasn't, I'm not even gonna say, I mean, my heart definitely was involved. I'm not even gonna say I gave everything because he did give some aspect of the friendship relationship type of situation. I'm gonna say situationship. Let's use that word. I'm not even gonna say. Let's say situationship. So he did give some parts, but it was like when things got rocky and got shaky, he was like,
You know, you don't want to laugh. I'm like, I thought we was in this together. Yeah. So did he ever, like, let me ask you this. He ever told you straight up, we're together? No. Okay. We're doing together stuff. No, I get you. But yeah, that's how the situation should. No, no, no. I definitely understand you.
I ask you that because nowadays, even though this was back then, nowadays, that's what you kind of got to ask. You know what I'm saying? Because guys will play that game. Yeah. They will play that game. Even we do. You know, we do too. But guys will play that game. They will do together shit with you and then still be talking about these single women's streets. Facts. You know what I'm saying? And that hurts. That hurts.
That hurts you as a female because here you thinking is one thing. Cause some, sometimes some things are better left unsaid. What's what's understood and got to be explained. So that's what you were saying. Yeah. Spoken. Yeah. We are together. Yeah. You know, we shouldn't have to still be like, Oh, where if I show it, you know what I'm saying? But as a shame nowadays, you still have to. Yeah. So where is he now?
I ain't been talking to him for a long time. And the last time you tried to get back with him, how did you do that? Did you pop up on him? No. Did you go crazy with him? No. No, I chilled out. I definitely chilled out. I've had my crazy days. Definitely chilled out. I mean, this is like the low-key me. Like, because I'm that one. Like you said, I jump out there. But it's like, these past couple years, I'm like, all right, like, let some stuff ride. But, like, at the end of the day, it hurt me inside. Yeah. But I'm trying to, because I'm maturing and I'm in my 30s, I'm trying to. Yeah.
Do things differently, if that makes sense. I'm 33. All right, well, look, this situation definitely has, you know, revamped you, made you grow. I can tell. Even how you speak, how you handle certain situations, how when we're out sometimes, you tell me how to handle certain situations. You know what I'm saying? Like, you're my big little friend. I love you. She's 311, but she...
No, what's your height? You know I'm 4'11". Oh, you're my bad. 4'11". I had to give her that one little foot. She 4'11". She got a big personality, big voice. So a lot of people underestimate her, but this little motherfucker's a firecracker. When she's taken to that point, you know what I'm saying? Other than that, she cool. Cool as a motherfucking fan. Real laid back. And that's why that brings me to this. Did he leave you for somebody else?
And we went to rewind some stuff, but that's the case. Because, so what happened was, how we kind of got together was, whatever situation he was dealing with at the moment, because he probably was in a vulnerable state. I was available. I was around, whatever. Mm-hmm.
It was going downhill. You know? Okay. So when he met you, he was already on the outskirts with somebody else. Yeah. And he was telling you he was single. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. All right. And he was doing, he was doing some single stuff. Like, let's be very clear. Just like he was doing together stuff. Yeah. So yeah, he was doing some single stuff. You got, got to. Yeah. Facts. Got, got. So yeah. Um, and so, I mean, it was, it was a,
It was a thing. - Yeah, yeah. - It was like-- - I can tell he made you feel good real fast. You felt for him, you were vulnerable. He was trying to like, basically you were a rebound. - I wouldn't make a decision without this man. - Yeah. - It was like a thing. So at the end of the day it was like what, a soul tie, let's say? - Yeah, and how long did this go on? - Four, four years. - Four years? - Yeah. - I would've thought we were married. - Four years? - Anytime you just thought he was your boyfriend, I would've thought we were engaged. Nobody just situation shift for four years.
And so now, I can't even pass four months with a goddamn bitch. And so now, yo, damn. Yo, now it just messes up my relationships with men now. Okay. Because it's like, Your damn is good. Yeah, facts. Like, I'm a good person to be around people. I be like, why do you want to be around me? Like, what is it about me? And look at you still questioning yourself. You've been like battered and scarred by that relationship because never are you ever supposed to question yourself why somebody want to be around you. When I met you, I took to you like,
Because out of all the bitches in the room and out of all, you know, whatever, like, you know what I'm saying? Like, you're funny. You have a genuine spirit. And all I do is make people laugh. That's my job. That's my career. And that's my social obligation. Like, you know, I make people laugh when I feel like they're sad. You made me laugh the whole day. You make me laugh every time I'm around you. Like, you play a lot. Like, you're really a good friend. And you just helped me move. You didn't have to do that. But if you move, I'm not going to help you.
So that's why I just want to be honest with you. You better call a mover or something, baby. You better call somebody. I'm playing, baby. We're not. In all seriousness, you're a really, really good person. And you're an even better catch. So don't ever ask that. Thanks, friend. You know what I'm saying? That nigga just fucked up.
That's what it is. But I'm just saying, like, Jess, like, my relationships with people, men, more so, more say, like, when I'm trying to date or when I'm trying to, like, go out, like, it just be, like, little things just tick me. I'm like, eh, no. Like, red flags. I'm red flagging it. So, because you don't want, you're red flagging it because you don't want the same thing to happen again? Yeah.
I'm really feeling because I don't want the same thing to happen again. And it's like, am I ready? Like, I'm just really feeling everything. Like, yeah, they did that. No, no. You know what I'm saying? I don't want to like, I don't want my insecurities to jump out of it either. Like, I'm trying to, you know. And it's very easy for that to happen. I just want to let you know because he didn't do that. Whoever you're dating now, like, he didn't do what...
You know what I'm saying? He's not him. So he can't pay for a mistake he didn't make. You know? And still at the same time, you never want to give a guy too much because that's what you ended up doing. That's what I did. And you ended up in the boat you were in. So like. Hurt people hurt people. That's the thing. That's a real thing. Hurt people do hurt people. You know, you're definitely right. That comes with family, friends, and whoever. But guys, they do it and they do it subconsciously. Like, you don't even know. He's so busy trying to get over the girl that he was with. Mm-hmm.
That he made you fall in love and then ended up going back, retracting. That's what he did. So we ended up going back to her. Okay. They're together. To my knowledge. Yeah. So you're still checking. I ain't checking about a thing. To my knowledge. I don't know. I'm not checking about a thing, baby. I promise you ain't checking. I promise you ain't checking. I promise you ain't checking. I promise you ain't checking about it.
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So look, when you were trying to rekindle it, when you were trying to get reacquainted, just, you know, how was he? You know how we as women do. We want that extra closure. Like, yo, is this what it is? Like, he didn't budge. He didn't give me, like, he didn't give me what I was looking for. No, just say that it's over. Like, just say it's over.
he wouldn't give it because he still wanted to have you for reserve just in case shorty up again just in case he up again because he could have up and she got tired of it you know what i'm saying so it could have been any type of situation it could have been on her could have been on him but i'm glad that he didn't because he would have kept stringing you along he would have been playing them games and not saying that he never liked you never loved you whatever because you too you too likable for somebody not to like you you're too
Like no you just you're like an everything type person so it not saying he didn't but he was just in something else that he thought that he could get over with you. So I'm glad that that happened because that taught you something and it taught him something too. You know what I mean? So is there anybody in the picture now?
Because you said it affects your dating. Is there anybody in the picture or are you just going through? Jess, you already know. Yeah, but they don't know. Jess. No, they don't know. Jess. I mean, you're ready to move on. Jess. I mean, I talked to Samai. You talked to Samai? I talked to Samai. Guys, that means somebody. I'm just, you know, because your deep, deep Baltimore is seeping out of you. So, yeah. She talked to Samai means she talked to one person. So, you talked to one person?
Jess, what's going on? I mean, all you people are going to be listening, so you might as well just come out and be like, I'm talking to everybody. I'm talking to everybody. I ain't sharing this, y'all. Oh, no, you ain't got to share this, bitch. I'm sharing this. This is going up. I heart black effect. You know what I mean? Yo, but yeah, I mean, I talked to somebody from her. Okay, all right. And...
How is your past relationship affecting that? It affects it a lot. It does? How? Let me know. Because, like, the person I give, I mean, they'll meet me when I'm mad, but it's like, I get scared, I'll beg away. So you'll go in and then you get so scared. I'll go in and not, yeah. You won't jump. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. And that comes from you being scared. You forbid yourself to be hurt. You refuse to get hurt again. It's like, I'm always, that's like,
it's like some people be like there's a whole i'm like what what's that like you're not nobody's playing with me like yeah these tendencies just like men play women or men lead women and and not even notice that in hindsight you're kind of doing the same thing that yo did to you you won't go how long have you been talking to this person dating this person outside because talking to you is trash i mean it's been a little minute now it's been a little minute what's the little minute
Wait, what's a bottom moment? A bottom moment can be anything. It definitely can. It definitely can. It can literally be one minute. It can be a year. Yeah. I'm just giving us a minute. Dang. Say what? A minute plus. All right, a minute plus. Okay, so almost two minutes. Yeah, almost two minutes or whatever. Okay, cool. And do you feel yourself holding back? Absolutely. Okay, in what ways? I mean, I'm guarded. Like, my heart is guarded at this moment. Does he feel that? Does he see that?
I ain't never put it to my attention. I just know where I'm at. See, you're selfish. You're very selfish. You've been dealing with this guy for Baltimore a minute and a half. And you really, really are doing him like Ted was doing you. I'm just going to give him a name. I don't want him saying yo. Ted. I'm going to say Ted. I'm really not though because... You are. I'm not. I'm not. You're not giving him your all and...
he's giving me this. What's my all time? I asked you your all and you was like, yeah, like. I mean, I'm still got it after today though. Like, I'm going to give it. But how long ago was this? How long ago was this? What, the past? The first guy, the breakup. That's been a minute too. No, no. How long has it been? And we're not going to keep doing that. How long? Like three minutes. So like three years. All right, cool. So it's been three years and you still ain't get over that shit? Oh no,
No, it ain't been three years, but it feel like, yeah. It feels like a long answer. Okay. I get it. I get it. Well, let's put it like this. How long do you expect for him to continue to give his all and you not reciprocate? I don't even think he's giving his all. You don't think so? No. What are you talking about? Bitches or what? Shit.
Absolutely. The DMs be jumping. What does he do? Oh, so you be in his DMs? I don't be in them, but they be in them. Oh, they be in them. You don't be in them. It's funny how you keep knowing shit. I met him through the DMs, though. I met him through the DMs. You met him in the DMs. Okay, so you can't even argue. Can't argue with that. But you don't even seem upset about it. You seem like you okay with the DM business. I mean, because I... You know what you're giving at the end of the day. You know that he still has to be compensated for what you're lacking.
That's a plus. Yeah. It's true. Yeah. Okay. So do you ever see yourself getting back with that? Like if that nigga was to drop that bitch right now and be like, look, I'm sorry. I'm giving myself to you. Like, honestly, I know I did you wrong, but I went back just to see if it will work. Cause sometimes shit work like that. Um, prime example. Just listen. I'm gonna bring it back.
I was with Ashton's father. I was in love with one guy other than Ashton's father. In love. I didn't say I only loved one guy. I was in love with one guy. Right? That was my ex. Now...
He came right after Rome. Now, I left him to go back to Rome to see if that's what I really wanted because my baby was so young and I didn't want Ashton to grow up without the family dynamic. And then my parents were married and all that. I wanted him to grow up like I grew up. And then with Rome, his mom died at 10. And then his dad being here with being there at the same time. His stepmother, his grandmother's raising him, everybody. I didn't want Ashton to have that. Not realizing that he doesn't have to have that.
It can be a healthy co-parenting relationship. I went back. I doubled back. And I tried it. And I went back to him and the nigga cheated on me in 72 hours. So I lost the only guy who I felt like would give me his all that I've ever had in my life other than Wayne. You know, and then now. Like, now it's, I went back and the nigga cheated on me.
With somebody that he worked with, Rome. So it's just like, yo, when I say Rome, it's taking me through a lot. Like, now he's my brother. But, like, he's taking me through a lot. You know what I mean? But sometimes people go back just to see that last... What if he was to do that? Would you believe that? Would you drop everything? I would not. I gave him way too much power the first go around. Over you. Yeah, way too much. And, like, when it was over, I felt...
I didn't have no power because I gave it all. So you felt drained. You felt worthless. I had to rebuild. Like rebuilding. Like you got to go through that stage of rebuilding again. By yourself. By yourself. Yeah. And then you trying to date other people or trying to talk to other people, see other people. That ain't a good situation. So that's why you questioning yourself a lot. That's why you say.
Sometimes I don't even want to come out. I don't even want to go with people. You know what I'm saying? I'm always good. Yeah, you go to Happy Hour, you can do that. But it's like, at the end of the day, yeah, I want to go home after that. I don't even want to really be around people like that. Especially when it comes to guys because...
I feel like I'm walking on pins and needles, if that makes sense. I mean, nobody should feel that kind of way or be that kind of way. And not every guy is the same, let's be very clear. But because I'm in my rebuilding stage, in my rebuilding process, it takes time. I don't want to jump out at one thing and then jump into another thing. Because at the day, I'm still not going to be satisfied. Because at the day, I still have to love myself. And so...
Because I jump out of one thing and get into another thing. When am I going to have time for me to see the things that I like, I don't like? You know, I like going out by myself. I don't have a problem with that. Yeah. I'll go anywhere in this world by myself. I already travel by myself. Like, I'll get on a plane any day. People are like, yeah, I'm going by myself. Who you with? Yeah, girl. When you was like, I'm going to LA this weekend. I was like, who you with?
Like, what do you know out there? Move on. I just want to get out there. Yeah. And so, I mean, that's a part of me getting to know who I am, what I like, what I don't like, rebuilding myself. Because I was never always this way. So coming out of that relationship or that situation, it took something from me. Like, it took something. And so I had to pull back into myself. Yeah.
And I never grew up with a family, like mother and father in the same house and all that stuff. So it's like I had to teach myself how to be in a relationship or to deal with somebody. Because I had to deal with a lot of trial and error. So I feel like my last situation was a trial and it was an error to get me ready for something else. But something I'm going to be able to trust, not questioning. You know, I don't want to question nobody. And be with somebody and be insecure.
- Yeah, facts. So I don't wanna go through that. So I just take these more, I mean, like I said, I talk to somebody, but at the end of the day, I'm still rebuilding Brea, who Brea is. Like, yeah. And I can't put no time limit on that. - When you, yeah. - You know, I can't do that. Like when I'm whole, 'cause I'm not whole. So when I'm whole and I can really like give myself to somebody,
You know, completely, because I cannot give, because it's going to be half and half and half. I'm going to give you this piece of me. Like, it's going to be divided up, and I don't want to do that to anybody. So right now, I'm okay where I am. I like my friend. We good. Like, nothing comes in between any of that. He respect where I am. You know, we have little conversations here and there. Like, yo, you know, I say little stuff here and there. Of course. But, you know. Of course, because you're Brayton.
yeah so i mean i say i know i'm not innocent like you know i'm you know i love god and everything but i have some mess ups and i do some i'll do some little stuff or whatever but you know i ain't never gonna be out here bursting nobody not like that like you ain't nobody wanted to tell you nothing about me you know what i'm saying that's that's true that i can't say yeah that's true if that makes sense so yeah i mean i'm up to a little bump in the room
But I'm picking myself up. I'm picking the pieces up and I'm just moving forward. And at the end of the day, that's all you can do. Thank you. That's all you can do. And I want to commend you for coming over here, being so open. I had to pull some shit out of you, but you know what I'm saying? You never know who else is going through this shit. That's why I do this shit. You know, it's called Catholic Records for a reason. You know, we talk about shit that women don't want to open up about to other women, you know, because you don't want to look like
this or you don't want to be judged or you're I never do that and the same bitches that be coming on like I will never do that later when people keep cheating when we see these celebrities going through life as a safari in goddamn America
The amount of people in them fucking comments bashing this girl. And y'all going through the same shit for free at home. They getting paid for it. Nobody should go for it at all. Nobody should go through it. But who are you to sit behind your app, your free app, and talk about somebody that's going through the same shit that you went through or you're going through or you're gonna go through?
You know what I'm saying? So I feel like we're supposed to learn from these motherfuckers, honestly. Because they're willing to put their life on the line and shit. Cool. Learn from that shit. I've been through it. I didn't handle it like they handled it. But shit, you never know. It's different strokes for different folks. What were you about to ask? How do you feel about the situation? What's the guy's name on Instagram? Justin? Justin LaVoy. Justin LaVoy. You don't get to ask me questions. And just like that, we came to the end of the episode. Say bye, Bri, because they're going to love you. Bye, y'all.
Alright bitch come on They gonna love you just like they love me Make sure y'all tune in every Wednesday Each and every hump day And in my best deep pan voice Peace
Carefully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. I'm a good lawyer and I want to win. I think I killed JT.
She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze Coronaldi. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop.
I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate the power of attorney. Always bet on tax. Reasonable Doubt. New episodes Thursdays. Streaming only on Hulu. Gear up for outdoor adventures with the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder. This midsize SUV is designed for epic journeys. Offer a spacious seating for eight, available panoramic moonroof, and an available intelligent four-wheel drive feature with seven drive modes. Take your off-road experience to new heights.
Discover the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder at NissanUSA.com. Intelligent all-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. Touring capacity varies by configuration. See Nissan Touring Guide and Owner's Manual for additional information. Always secure cargo. Most deals are barely worth mentioning, but then there's AT&T's best deal on the new Samsung Galaxy Z Flip 6 featuring FlexCam with Galaxy AI. You can get in on them when you're trading your
eligible smartphone any year, any condition. It's a deal so good, you'll be shouting from the rooftops. So grab a ladder and learn how to get that new phone on AT&T. AT&T, connecting changes everything. Requires trading of Galaxy S, Note, and Z series smartphone. Limited time offer, 256 gigabytes for $0. Additional fees, terms, and restrictions apply. See att.com slash Samsung or visit an AT&T store for details.