jealousy is a disease & comparison is the thief of joy
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Hello and welcome to the Claim Your Power podcast, the ultimate show for all things self-love, spirituality, and personal growth. I'm your host, Kim Peretz. I'm a three-time author, content creator, avid traveler, entrepreneur, and matcha enthusiast. You are at the right place if you're ready to rediscover the love within, align with your purpose, and unleash your highest potential. It's time to claim your power.

Hello my friends and welcome back to another episode of the podcast. If you are new here, welcome to Claim Your Power. This is your podcast community for all things self-love, personal growth, spirituality, and leveling up and glowing from the inside out. This is the energy of 2024 folks and I'm so excited to be here with you today.

We are embodying it, we are embracing it, and we are claiming back our power, baby. I'm really excited to dive into today's episode because, first of all, I want to share with you guys...

Why I decided to talk about this topic. So I was on a hot girl walk, you know, the usual. And I was on the phone with my best friend. And the thing you guys need to understand about my best friend is she's literally my soulmate. Like we are literally soulmates. I swear we have had so many lifetimes together.

she's also the complete opposite of me in the sense of she has no social media. She literally has no Instagram, no nothing. She doesn't like being online. And so she asked me not to even say her name in the podcast episode. So I won't say her name today just out of, you know, respect for her. She loves her privacy. I'm like kind of the opposite of that. But she supports me and everything that I do and that's what matters to me. But

Anyways, so she's been my best friend for almost a decade now and I was on the phone with her and we're really like in the same wavelength. Like I feel like when I'm going through something, she's going through the same things just like in her own frequency. And mind you, like we don't live near each other anymore. We live like 10 hours away from each other by flight. So we, you know, catch up a lot on the phone and just always have like deep girl talks on the phone. It's something that's really important for me.

And we got into this topic of like jealousy and being in unaligned friendships and friendships that don't support you and also the concept of comparison, which are all things that I really want to dive into today. And she said to me over the phone, she said, comparison is the thief of joy.

And when she said this to me, I was like, hold up, girl. Like, I'm writing this in my notes. This was so good. I'm going to give you credits and I'm going to make a whole podcast episode on what we talked about because it is so powerful. And I think it's really, really important.

because comparison truly is something that we need to talk about because I genuinely think it's something that we all go through even if we truly love ourselves even if we've done so much inner work on ourselves I mean it's human nature and sometimes you will have a phase or a moment in your life where you find yourself comparing your path to other people and

And in today's episode, I really want to talk about how to step away from that and come back into this energy of self-acceptance and how to really use those moments where maybe you're finding yourself comparing yourself. Maybe you have someone in your life that accomplished this thing or got into that relationship and it feels like you're comparing them to your own path.

I want to talk today about how you can step away from that and really claim back your power and use that trigger and use that opportunity for growth. So I think the first thing that you need to realize is often people will tell you that comparison stems from insecurity.

But I want to propose a completely different mindset because I don't think that you comparing yourself every once in a while to someone is because you're insecure. It could be. It's a possible component. Maybe some people are insecure and they find the need to always compare themselves to other people. But some of us, especially the people who are on a spiritual path, on a self-development path,

sometimes we find ourselves comparing ourselves to other people and their experience because of a lack of trust and faith. And this is something that I even found happening for me where I felt like I was comparing my journey to other people's journey and basically like every sector of my life because I, in that moment, I was lacking trust in the universe and I was lacking trust in the divine's plan for me.

And so I would see somebody else accomplishing that thing or doing that thing in their career or meeting the love of their life or meeting this new friendship or traveling to that place. And I had this need of being like, oh my God, but how come...

They had this, but I'm not worthy of this. How come I'm not experiencing this? I must be doing something wrong. I must be putting out the wrong frequency or the wrong vibration. I must need to learn how to manifest better. Like all these limiting beliefs and fears came up for me as I was doing the inner work on the concept of comparison in my life. And I realized, and I had this aha moment

That every single person that comes into your life and triggers any sense of need for you to compare yourself to them or even jealousy, jealousy is another emotion that often comes up for people, that person is doing you a massive service and is showing you a part of yourself, a desire that lives within you that you know that you are worthy of too.

And so when you see other people living the life that you want to live, experiencing the emotions that you want, being in the place that you strive to be, you need to take that as a compliment from the universe and as a compliment from source, not as a threat.

Because if you let comparison dictate how you feel about yourself, you're constantly in an energy of lack and scarcity. And you have to realize that what you notice in other people and their experience is a projection of you and your potential. And as Abraham Hicks says a lot, I've made a whole episode about Abraham Hicks. If you don't know who that is, you should definitely check out that episode. But in Abraham Hicks' teachings, they always say like,

it's in your vortex. So when you see other people experiencing the things that you want to experience, let's say you have a friend in your life that just got into a relationship and you really want to be in a relationship too. You're ready. You know what you want. You're ready to call that in and you find yourself comparing yourself to other people in your life. Remind yourself that in that moment, they are actually reflecting to you what's possible for you too.

Not what's lacking, not what's impossible, what's actually already in your vortex. Because if you weren't aligned with the energy of love, then people around you wouldn't constantly be in love and experiencing it. And so instead of making yourself a victim in that moment, realize that this is a gift. This is a gift that life is showing you what parts of yourself you also desire, what parts of yourself you want to call into your life.

I do also want to talk about the concept of jealousy because I think jealousy and comparison are very different things. When we compare ourselves to other people, that doesn't usually come from a malicious place. That comes from a self-critical place towards ourselves. But often when you have people around you that are constantly jealous of you, you have to be able to set boundaries. And let me tell you why, guys.

Jealous people will never want you happy. Jealous people will never want to see you thriving. Jealous people are people that will be there for you. They are the biggest danger to have in your inner circle because they're people that will be there for you under the guise of being a friend. But in reality, they're people that don't want to see you thriving and evolving.

And a good way to tell is asking yourself who in your life is around you when you are blossoming, when you are thriving. Who is in your life and in your energy in the moment where you're succeeding, something goes really well in your life, you're happy, you're growing, you're expanding. Who is there for you in those moments? Those are the real people in your life.

And then you have to ask yourself, who is only there for you in the moments when you're sad, when you're down, when you're insecure, when you don't feel good about yourself? And who's trying to keep you small in your life? Who's trying to keep you low? Those are the people that are jealous of you. And those are the people that you have to realize do not deserve energy and do not deserve presence in your inner circle. Because let me tell you that jealous people are like

you know, a venom. They're like a little snake that slithers around and at some point they're going to bite you. And so you have to realize that your comparison towards other people also has nothing to do with the fact that you will also have jealous people in your life that will make you feel a need to compare yourself to them.

Because some people have this desire, people who haven't worked on themselves and on their insecurities and on their soul, they will project outwards their insecurities by trying to keep you small. If you've ever been in a relationship or a friendship,

where the other person tried to keep you small, would do small digs at you, would always be the one comparing between you two and trying to keep you lower than them. If you've ever been in that friendship, realize that that's someone that's truly jealous of you.

And the thing is like jealous people will always be jealous because they go to everyone So just because you attracted a jealous person into your life doesn't mean that you are a problem Does it mean that like you're in a bad energy? It just means that you need to learn how to set that boundary so that jealous person doesn't go around lingering So that's a really really important thing that I wanted to emphasize is if you feel like someone in your life is

is constantly trying to keep you lower and constantly trying to minimize you or compare yourself to you and you feel like whenever you're around them, you have this incessant need to compare yourself to them and to other people. That might be because you are around a lot of jealous energy and it's so important to cleanse yourself from those people. I am telling you,

that somebody that is jealous of you is the most dangerous person to have around you. If you're an empath, if you're someone that's very loving and compassionate and caring,

and you have a really kind heart, a lot of the time those types of people will be gravitated towards you. I'm talking from personal experience. Hello, my friends. I just wanted to pop on mid-episode and remind you that the long-awaited Podcast Mastery, my exclusive masterclass that teaches you how to launch, grow, and scale a successful podcast from scratch is officially out and you can get your hands on it

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But a lot of the time those people will be gravitated towards you because they want to take your energy and drain you. It's so important to ask yourself when you're spending time with people, like you are your environment, okay? If you are spending time with someone and after that you feel like shit and you feel bad about yourself and you feel anxious or desperate or jealous or whatever emotion that you're feeling with a specific person,

you need to reassess if that's where you want to put your energy because when it comes to jealous people, it starts out very subtle but eventually jealousy, like jealous people get so, so desperate to bring you down

Other people's insecurities are not your responsibility. And I think this is such an important realization you need to have because I thought for a while in my life that I had to minimize myself, minimize my light, my accomplishments, my energy, my joy around certain people because they wanted to keep me small. And let me tell you, let me give you permission to

to do this for yourself and say that you are not responsible for how other people react and how other people treat you because of their emotions. I honestly noticed also that jealousy often comes in jokes. Like if you have someone in your life that's constantly like saying jokes on your expense, that's a big sign of jealousy because what jealous people do is they will minimize your accomplishments. They will question your success. They will pick at your achievements and

They will remind you of who you were, like a past version of you. They were trying to keep you small and often they like refuse to compliment you or they refuse to support you. And the best way to rise up from jealous people around you is to learn that

That you can only truly grow when you're focused on yourself. And so being able to not envy somebody else's blessing, that's what true self-love and that's what true grace is. Somebody who can't truly clap for you and love you and show up for you when you need them or when you're doing well.

is somebody that is envious of you and it's somebody that you do not need around you. You need around you people who are mindful of how they treat you, who show up to you with love, who aren't trying to badmouth you or tear you down. There are people who are trying to help you rise. So chances are when somebody is hating on you, it's not about you at all. It's about their fears. It's about their jealousy. It's about their insecurity. And so people who are madly intimidated by you

will talk you down in hopes of trying to bring themselves up. It's an ego game. And you have to respond from the soul, not the ego. Because the thing is, like people, the biggest thing that I've realized that people will be jealous of is energy.

It's not even materialistic things. And that is often why people like us, like that are on a spiritual path that are very empathetic and loving, have this need then to compare ourselves because we are feeling like our energy is being drained.

People will envy sometimes other people for how others love you and how others appreciate you. People will envy you for the way you handled certain situations that they couldn't. People will envy you for your own self-love, for your own self-worth. They will envy you for your strength. And you have to realize that that has nothing to do with you. Because people...

Often when you are shining, when you are radiant, when you are loving yourself, when you are, you know, inspiring good energy in other people, often that will trigger other people's shadows because a lot of people will be in a secret competition with you and they will want to see you do good, but never actually better than them.

And let me tell you that if you're listening to the podcast, do not be this type of person. Even if this is a version of you in the past, do not be this type of person anymore because it will not serve you in the long run because it will leave you in a state of scarcity and in a state of lack.

You be the opposite of that type of person. You be the person that cheers and claps for everyone. You be the person that makes other people feel validated and heard. You be the person that doesn't let other people's successes or happiness turn them bitter. You be the person that gets inspired by other people's goodness and blessings and allows yourself to manifest those things for yourself too. You be the opposite.

When somebody else treats you with jealousy, you show up with self-confidence and love for other people because your grass will never ever get greener by focusing on somebody else's lawn. So your energy and your focus always needs to be on your blessings, on your growth, on your goals, on your happiness, and

on your evolvement. When you compare yourself to other people, you're just being of disservice to your soul because honestly, there's nobody else like you out there. Even there are people that are similar to you, there's actually nobody that is exactly like you. So I'm going to tell you, I'm going to end this episode by telling you what you need to do in order to heal any wounds that you have around jealousy and comparison and alchemize them into self-growth.

You've got to start romanticizing your life so much that what other people do around you and what other people say or accomplish or experience literally does not tweak you, does not bother you. It's like a fly on the wall.

I'm not saying this from like a sense of arrogance, like you don't care what other people are doing at all. I'm saying you're so engraved and happy and focus on building yourself a life that you are proud of, that you are happy with and enjoying the journey of your path that what other people do around you does not impact the way that you feel about your journey.

Because your journey is unique. What you are going through and what you are experiencing is divine and exactly accurate for you. Because if it was meant to be any other way, it would. You have to develop trust. Whenever you find yourself experiencing comparison to other people, then you have to come back into the energy of trust.

How can you lean in more into faith and trust knowing that what's meant for you will never pass you by? Knowing that just because somebody else is on this part of their journey doesn't take away from the legitimacy or the joy of your own.

So this is what I always recommend doing. Pick up new hobbies. Try new things. Get out of your comfort zone a little. Pour into yourself and your growth and your joy and romanticize your life so much that what other people are doing doesn't bother you.

you're happy for them. You're in an energy of appreciation and allowing other people to experiencing their blessings while knowing it doesn't come on the expense of your own. This is so important. This is what I want to emphasize to you is other people's blessings and joy and happiness and success and love and all the good things that come to them is not on the expense of your own. And when you realize this,

that is when the blessings come into your life. When you realize that what other people are doing and experiencing and the good that they're going through doesn't take away from your path. It's actually a sign that so much amazing miracles and gifts and blessings are on the way to you as well. So claim it, act like it because that is what will show up in your life if you start doing so.

Beautiful souls, thank you so much for joining me in today's episode. As always, I will talk to you next week. Bye. Yep, that's who you think it is. The Grimmest Mug. The Hello Kitty keychain. Barbie herself.

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