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If you have a dream of starting your own podcast, listen up. Today's episode is sponsored by Spotify for Podcasters, and I'm going to tell you why this is the best platform in the game. The reason I love Spotify for Podcasters so much is because it has made my life so easy. I can record, film, and distribute my podcast all from one place. Creating a podcast is a lot easier than you think.
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Hello, my beautiful friends, and welcome back to the Claim Your Power podcast, the ultimate show for all things spirituality, self-love, and personal development. I'm your host, Kim Perez. I'm a two-time author, content creator, yoga teacher, and entrepreneur. You are at the right place if you're ready to tap into your gifts, unleash your potential, and become your higher self. It's time to claim your power.
Hello, my amazing, beautiful, wonderful friends all around the world. How are you? I missed you. I miss talking to you. Even though I, guys, I say this literally, I feel like every time I come on a podcast episode, I'm like, I missed you guys. Because I feel like I honestly could do a podcast episode every single day. Like, this is my therapy. I love it so much. And I just want to start off this episode by saying such a big thank you for you guys. Recently, you guys have been sending me just so many, so many, so many, so many, so many
Just the most wonderful messages ever. Like I actually have goosebumps because the past week I've been feeling a little bit out of flow, not as creative, not as inspired. I feel like I lost a bit of touch with my passion. I was feeling a bit burnt out when it came to content creation and work.
And I was really sitting in that feeling for a few days. And then I had this calling to open my DMs because I usually don't open my DMs every single day because I like when I open them, I like to answer them. And I don't like to just open them and not respond. So when I do see your message, I 100% will respond to you. So if you haven't gotten a response from me on a DM, it's probably because I haven't seen your message.
But, anyway, so a few days ago I was opening all of your DMs and they have just been the most wonderful, touching, awesome messages that I could have ever asked for. They truly fill my heart to hear how me just starting this podcast from my childhood bedroom two years ago has turned into something that has helped you so much, that has empowered you and inspired you just more.
fills my heart in so many ways. So I just wanted to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your love and all your support. And before I kick off this episode, I just want to remind you guys that on June 17th, I am hosting a live New Moon Circle via Zoom. So you guys can join from anywhere in the world. It's going to accommodate both European and North American time. It's going to be an awesome, awesome event. We're going to be doing manifestation, visualizations,
meditation, journaling, EFT tapping. It's going to be awesome. And spots are very limited because I like to keep these types of events small so that I can get to know each and one of you guys that is attending on a deep level. So if you guys feel called to join, feel called to be a part of this,
go ahead and sign up. I'm gonna put the link to sign up in the episode notes, but it's also always available on my Stan store. And I really hope to see your beautiful face there because it's gonna be super, super special. Okay, a little TMI. I'm sorry ahead of time, but today's topic came to me on the toilet. Okay, I'm not gonna lie about it. I'm not gonna say that it came to me through meditation while I was on top of the mountain. No, it came to me on the toilet. And that's just the reality of the human experience. Today, we're gonna talk about how losing friendships
or relationships but we're going to be focusing mainly on friendships we're going to talk about how that's actually a good thing and not as bad of a thing as many people deem it out to be i think as a society we have a really really big emphasis on romantic relationships and how communication works in romantic relationships and breakups when you end things with your partner with your boyfriend or girlfriend and that's kind of like the focus of society when we think about heartbreak we think about romantic relationships
But I think what nobody talks about enough is friendship breakups and you ending certain friendships in your life because that's also a form of heartbreak is ending a relationship with a friend platonically that you cared a lot about that made a big difference in your life or that was part of your life for a really long time. And I feel like we don't talk about that enough because we always put it kind of on the back burner and put romantic relationships up on the pedestal.
So today, I want to bring to light and really discuss what it means to lose friendships, the spiritual meanings behind it or like my own experiences with it, and how you can move forward when you've lost a friend that you deeply cared about. If you are in a period in your life where you find yourself losing a lot of different friends and
or you find yourself wanting to take space and be on your own and cut off certain people in your life, that is not necessarily a bad thing. And I know we like to look at it like that, that when we're in this period of isolation, that's this terrible thing that we're losing people in our lives and all of that.
But you have to realize that part of the period of isolation is where you discover yourself and rediscover your own person and your own identity. And sometimes losing people is actually a really, really good sign. It means that you're leveling up, that you're evolving. When you lose certain people in your life, it means that you are finally evolving and you're not the same person or the past version of yourself that you used to be when you were friends with those certain people.
If you had the same exact friendship circle your entire life from kindergarten up till you were 85, I would raise an eyebrow. I would be like, why do you have the exact same friendship circle? And I'm not saying like that you should never have the same friends because like, for instance, one of my best friends up to this day is my best friend from elementary school.
And she's still been by my side because we have this relationship where our energies are still aligned and we grow and evolve together. And so we've both become these certain types of women where we're still aligned to be best friends because we grow together, we evolve together, we clap for each other when we succeed. And to this day, she's one of my closest friends. But most of my friends, even from high school, are not my friends anymore now.
And most of my friends that I've made in university, some of them are not my friends now. And so what I'm trying to go with this is...
You it's okay. It's okay to lose certain friendships in your life. It's not necessarily a bad thing It's actually a really good sign. It means that you're changing and evolving It means that you're growing into the person that you're meant to be And something that you have to realize is not every single person in your life is meant to be with the highest version of you Some people especially friends come into your life at a certain moment at a certain time period or chapter To show you something about yourself
to teach you a certain lesson, but once you have grown, once you have evolved, they have served their sole purpose. They're not meant to stay in the long term. And when you make peace with the fact that everything is temporary, nothing in your life is permanent, the only permanent thing in your life is change, you will not be so attached to people walking in and out of your life.
And I have to say that losing friendships is one of the most painful experiences to go through, especially if that specific friend was somebody in your life for a very long time or somebody that you were super close with. It's hard. It's a form of heartbreak and I'm here to validate that. But I'm also here to remind you that you will never lose a person in your life that is meant for you. Anybody who walks in and out of your life is walking out of your life for a reason. They have stepped out of your life with purpose.
And if they're meant for you in the long term, they will make their way back into your life. But if they're not, there was a reason that they left when they did. And when you make peace with that, that people walk in and out of your life with purpose and for a reason, you will no longer be in this victim mentality of I lose people all the time. And you will be in this mentality of I gain things.
because when one door closes for me, when one friendship ends, that means the universe or God or life will serve me and bless me with an amazing friendship or an amazing person that I haven't even thought of. And I think it's so important to realize that even if you lost a friend and it was like a dramatic ending to your friendships, they did something hurtful, they betrayed you in some form of way, which we've all been through, I've definitely had those friendship breakups as well.
I think it is so important to, when you're ready, to think the situation for it happening and realize that there was some form of lesson in disguise in it. When you start seeing people, not as like these malicious people that have come out here to hurt you, and you start seeing people for their empathy and their traumas and their wounds, and you start realizing that people react the way that they did because they're deeply hurt on the inside, you will start being so much more
and full of gratitude for the experiences that you go through in life. I had a really, really...
close friend in my life for several years a few years ago and we were really really close and then she did something that was very hurtful and she she lied she betrayed I won't go too much into it just because it's like I'll keep her privacy but there was a friendship breakup there like we were not aligned to be close friends anymore like our values did not intertwine and we ended our friendship we said goodbye to each other
And when I look back at that friendship, I still have a lot of love for this person, even though I realize that she's not meant to be my close friend as the person that I am today. Like who I was back then maybe was aligned at being friends with her, but who I am today is not aligned to be her friend. And though I see that and I can make peace with that fact,
I still look back and wish her the best. And I still look back and wish her love. And I don't really believe in like going and talking shit and involving other people and gossiping and tearing another friend down when a friendship has ended because you're disrespecting the relationship and the lessons that you learned. That's the way I see it.
Even if that friendship was superficial, surface level, and was fake altogether, there was still a lesson for you in it that you had to go through that friendship because it taught you something about yourself. And when you go and you talk shit and you are like so caught up in what happened and not move forward and not put your energy on where you do want to be and what friendships you do want to experience, you're invalidating the life lessons that you learned and you're taking away from that magic.
And when you're able to see people for what they taught you and the lessons that they served, you're also able to let them go. Because obviously I don't miss this person. I don't want this friend back into my life. In fact, like if they ever try to be back into my life, I probably wouldn't let them have access to my energy.
But I can look back and say, wow, this woman has taught me so much about myself, about the type of friendships I want to be in, about the type of person that I want to be. And I'm grateful for that. I'm grateful for the lessons because if I didn't go through that friendship, that wouldn't lead me to the friendships that I have formed today with the amazing women that I do have in my life.
So I think it's so important to realize that when you lose people, you're also gaining something. You're either gaining yourself again, you're gaining a lesson, you're gaining a blessing, a connection to the universe or connection to yourself, but you're always gaining something. And when you see it like that, when you see that a loss is also a gain and that everything is duality, you're also able to let go and move on so much more like swiftly and with
so much less resistance that you usually would. As I'm getting older, I'm also realizing that it is such a blessing to have close, loyal, compassionate, true friends in your life. And not every single person that walks into your life is going to fulfill that role.
And when you realize that, when you stop having all these expectations, like you meet one person and you think, oh, this person's going to be my bestest friend. They're going to be loyal to me. They're going to be by my side, dah, dah, dah. You're putting them on an unattainable pedestal. But when you start seeing people, like the way that I see friendships in my life now is I see them in categories. I have my friends that are truly my best friends that I know that when I need something, I can call them up. They're there for me. I can trust them with my entire heart.
Then I have my medium friends that I love to hang out with, but I wouldn't share my deepest, darkest secrets with them. And then I have my acquaintances that when I go out and I meet people, they're my friends, but they're not my close, close friends. And I think when you have this mentality of like,
not every single person has to be your best friend that also means that you don't have to be every single person's best friend and you don't have to be incredibly loyal and pour all of your energy into every single person in your life and you can pick and choose who makes you happy and who supports your growth and that's where you put your energy you will become so much happier so much happier this
The second that I realized that I will only pour energy into people who pour the same amount of energy into me and I will stop chasing people and I will stop over giving to people that I'm not receiving an equal amount of energy from in my friendships is the second that I became so much happier because now...
My whole thing, my whole motto in life is give them the same type of energy that they give you. So if you have a friend in your life that is super loyal, super loving, always consistent, communicative, always there, you show up with that same exact energy. But if you have a friend that, you know, is on and off, that's not always responsive, that's there for you some days, isn't there for you other days, you don't owe them to be like the most loyal, empathic,
Compassionate always their type of friend you can match their energy and it's not like in a bad way that you're like Matching their energy because like you want to play this game like no you're just matching their energy and that's okay That's totally fine. You can show up to different energy levels with different people And it doesn't mean that you're bad or good. It doesn't mean that they're a good friend or a bad friend It just means that that's the amount of energy that you're pouring into that friend because that's what feels good to you
at the end of the day your friendships need to be a source of love and happiness not a source of anxiety and stress and you become the friendship circle that you surround yourself with whether you like it or not the five people that you're always spending your time with you're going to end up becoming whether you like it or not so ask yourself are the
five people that are always around me are they inspiring are they empowering that they make me happy do i want to be that type of person and if your answer is no then why the fuck do you spend all your time with them and why the fuck do you pour all your energy into them find some new friends or pour if anything if you feel like you don't have the right friends pour that energy into yourself it is so much better to be alone than be around people who make you feel alone and that's why i think losing people when you're growing and you're pouring energy into yourself is a good sign
If you're on a spiritual path and you started getting to know yourself better and personal development and pouring your time and energy into you, realize that the people you lose as you start that journey are people that were never meant to be with the highest version of you. And the people that stick by your side and grow with you, those people were meant to be with the best, highest you.
And anybody else who falls across the way on the path of you becoming the best version of you was never meant to be with the highest version of you. And you have to make peace with that, that losing people is not necessarily a bad thing. Yes, it's painful. Yes, it's a form of heartbreak. Yes, you should feel it. You should definitely feel it. You should grieve it. But at the same time, you also have to see it as a gift that when you lose certain people in your life, you're also about to gain and open doors to new friendships that you haven't even thought of. Sometimes you have to realize that people's part in your story is over.
And I know that that's a hard thing to come to peace with. But guess what? The good thing is your story isn't over. You're still writing your book. You're still writing each and every chapter. Just not every single character in your life is meant to be in every single chapter. And when you make peace with that, like that there's character development for you and that you're growing and you're evolving and not every single person is meant to be with the highest version of you that is most loved and empowered and successful and abundant. And not every single person deserves access to be part of that chapter in your life because
When you make peace with that, you will attain the greatest sense of freedom. In your life, you will lose ultimately certain people that are not meant to stay with you in the long run. But if you didn't see that as a loss and you saw it that it's a gain because it's meant to teach you something about yourself and it's meant to teach you to be okay with discomfort and to get to know yourself on a deep level, you will also realize that the right people in your life that are truly
The right people for you and are meant to be the truest friendships will come and they will stay they will not leave your life So people who leave your life and you lose them You're losing them for a reason you guys know that I always believe in this mentality that you can never lose anything that is actually Meant for you if that friend is meant to be in your life You will not lose them even if you have drama even if you have a miscommunication like you will find your way back
And I don't know who needs this reminder, but it is so, so important. I don't care how long you've known this friend. I don't care if they're your childhood best friend. I don't care how much they have done for you in the past. If a certain friendship in your life is becoming unhealthy and it's
deteriorating your own mental health it's making you feel bad about yourself it's causing stress or anxiety in your life you are allowed to step away from that friendship i don't care if you've known that person for 12 years i don't care if it's making you feel bad if it's becoming unhealthy to the point where you're overthinking and it's a source of stress and not happiness anymore you are allowed to step away from that friendship for as long as you need i'm
I want to share with you guys one really powerful quote that I live by that has always helped me when I was experiencing friendship breakups. And it's, we never lose friends. We only learn who our true ones are. Beautiful souls, thank you so much for joining me in today's episode. Feel free to leave a review or DM me any topic suggestions. I hope you feel inspired to claim your power today.