I Don't Like Supporting My In-Laws
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Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5 p.m. Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Dennis, welcome to the program. Hi, Dr. Laura. Thanks for taking my call. You are very welcome.

Here's my situation. I'm 64. My husband's 65. Been married for 40 years. We dated six. We raised three professional children. We're financially secure. My husband has a 64-year-old deadbeat brother. Divorced, lost his kids, can't keep a job, jail, drugs, a whole bit.

Something I've never done, but I saw he zelled $2,500 to his brother without saying anything. And when I asked him why he wouldn't have told me, he angrily answered in reply that he doesn't have to.

This led to a major argument between us. Huge. And I feel betrayed. And he's adamant he can do whatever he wants with our money. I was a full-time homemaker. Then I worked with my husband for 10 years, never getting a paycheck, assuming we're in it together. I've never taken out any sums of money from our accounts.

I live off a budget of $3,000 a month, and he has a million-dollar-a-year income, and we live in a million-dollar home. Money's not the issue. It was the principle I feel betrayed. Okay, I have a few questions to ask you. In the duration of your marriage, this amount of money you have every month, is it an allowance? Yeah. Do you have to check with him when you buy things? Not out of that money.

Okay. So that amount of money, you can do anything. Does that include food and water bills and stuff like that? What is included at the time? Groceries and everything for our children, which are highly achieved. So I did a small amount of money. I'm college educated with a master's. You're college educated with a master's in what? Did you know that skin care can start in the laundry room?

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And have you had a practice? I was a full-time mother. No, I was a full-time housewife. Okay, but when you got your degree, did you do counseling before you married and made kids? Oh, three years. I was married at 25. By the time I got out of college, no. Okay, did you get a license? Yeah. Okay, have you kept it active? No. Okay. I also have a degree in teaching, and I didn't keep that active. Okay.

And I have an insurance license. I know. Why did you do all those things if you weren't going to do anything with them? Generationally, I was raised by immigrant parents who said I had to be a teacher. I was the first to attend college, and I accepted it. What about the insurance and the counseling? Oh, well, I went on for an MBA just because that was part of it.

I like to learn. And do you know, does he have life insurance with you as the recipient? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay. So...

Sending his brother $2,500 out of a million, well, it comes down to half a million by the time the government scoops it up, nonetheless is not a big thing, and he knew you would say no. The reason he yelled, I can do what I want, like a pouty teenager, which is what his response is, a pouty teenager, because he knew that if he asked you, you'd say no, and he wanted to help his brother.

So the reason he said what he said that you take as a betrayal was because he's scared of you. Well, how much is too much helping? Like, we support the mother, the brother. I mean, at what point does one say no, you're 65? Honey, that's who he is. Right. That's what he does. He takes care of the extended family. I suggest you stop being pissy about it and...

except it is the not your favorite part of being married. Okay. Okay, I'm glad to hear that because I was really pissed. Yeah, but he's scared of you. I think you ignored that part. So make yourself less scary, okay? How about you hug him and say, you know, I know it means something to you because you're always taking care of your family. And I know that you were worried that I was going to be negative all over the place. So make it better.

That's what I'm recommending. Make it better. My number, 1-800-375-2872. Check out my social media on Facebook and Instagram. I post stories, photos, and videos seven days a week and feature some of what you've sent me too. There's always something interesting going on there. You can find me at facebook.com slash drlaura and instagram.com slash drlauraprogram.

This Father's Day, help Dad be all he can be with a gift from the Home Depot. Because he's not just Dad, he's the handyman of the house, the plumber in a pinch, and the emergency mechanic. Upgrade his gear this Father's Day with the Husky Mechanics 270-piece tool set from the Home Depot. Now on special buy for $119, a $695 value. For every kind of Dad, find the perfect gift this Father's Day at the Home Depot.