Refresher: My Husband is Getting More Negative With Age
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Time now for a refresher from my Dr. Laura Call of the Day archives. And remember, you too can participate on my live radio program heard weekdays from 2 to 5 p.m. Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Susie, welcome to the program. Hello, Dr. Laura. How are you?

Good. What's happening? It's just lovely, lovely talking with you. I have been a fan and a listener forever and ever and ever. And I thank you for your wonderful advice. Thank you.

What can I do for you? Well, my problem today is that my husband, we're in our 60s, and my husband is very negative. He's just really become so the last 10 years or so, probably on the edge of, he has a history of neurologic diseases in his family. So I don't know if that's a part of it with his health or whatever. But

No matter, whenever we get into conversation, he just throws back a lot of negatives. Things like, if I say, it's a lovely day, he'll say, yeah, but it's too hot and it's windy. Or so-and-so was so, you know, we had a wonderful time. Slow down, slow down, slow down, please. Slow down, please. I'm sorry. Okay? Let's go through those things. You say, it's a lovely day. Okay.

which is kind of a boring thing to say to your husband, but it's a lovely day. And he says, yeah, but it's windy. And what else? And it's too warm. And you go, yeah, and it's hot. You go, yeah, except for that, except for those two things, it's a lovely day. So that's what you do. You give him the rights to his negativity, and then you end it

with quote your point of view. So let's play this. Give me four or five more. Okay. Okay. Isn't Claudia a wonderful friend? I don't know. I'm just giving you bland things. Right. Go ahead. Go ahead. He'll say, well, but she talks too much, you know, and she crunches her food too loudly. Did you know that skincare can start in the laundry room?

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And you'll say, yeah, I've noticed she crunches her food loudly and she sure likes to chatter and she's got a very good heart. That's it. So you give him the negatives and you end with your point of view. So you say, I like that she has a good heart, but you're right. So go ahead. I love you. Another one. Okay. Um,

Our son, Jack, I would tell him I'm so happy that our son, Jack, is getting his life in order. And then his response would be, yeah, but, you know, Jack's got a long way to go and he isn't there yet. And you say you're absolutely right. He's a work in progress.

Dr. Laura, I love that. I really appreciate that because hearing negative after negative really gets me down sometimes. And I like that. I'll give him confirmation and then I'll flip it to a positive and then that'll make me feel better. That's wonderful. Thank you. And it will confuse him. Confusion is a very powerful tool. Boy, talk about timing. We did that really great, Susie. Well, I thank you, Dr. Laura. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Well, you're welcome from the middle and top of mine. All right. I don't know. Does it mean more if it's from the middle, the bottom or the top? It's a good question to ask yourself while you get ready to call me. Now, you don't need to be motivated to call. Just do it.

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It grows louder when you ask for help and you're vulnerable. It is the thread that lets you know that no matter what happens, you will be okay. When we learn the power of hope, recovery is possible. Find out how at startwithhope.com. Brought to you by the National Council for Mental Well-Being, Shatterproof, and the Ad Council.