Talking to Kids About Their Deadbeat Dads
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Thanks for listening to my call of the day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5 p.m. Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Viviana, welcome to the program. Hi, Dr. Laura. Thank you for taking my call. You're welcome. I am reaching out because I was seeking your advice on supporting my 15-year-old daughter who has had a hard time with a divorce.

from four years ago from her dad. He started a new family, has kids, and is attempting to have a relationship with him but keeps putting excuses. And as neutral as I try to stay, I find it hard sometimes to see how upset it makes her to reach out to me to tell me that he's denying seeing her, taking her calls, or texting or replying to her. So I was just wondering the best way to support her.

First, being neutral is absolutely wrong. If you've heard me talk to kids like I just did some moments ago on the air, I tell them your father is a shit. That's why your mother got rid of him. And now he's married to some other broad, making new kids, taking care of them, and he can't be bothered with you because mom made a mistake and married a shit. And I think women ought to tell their children, I apologize. I married without really thinking it through whether or not this was a very good man. His behavior, his history, what have you.

I made the mistake and you're hurt now. So we have to make it through life in spite of the fact that I made a mistake. He's a shit. So I expect a shit to treat you badly. He treated me badly. Now he's treating you badly. That's what shitty men do. That's why you should never marry one. Meanwhile, now dot, dot, dot, Viviana, does she want to be an astronaut? Does she want to be a pilot? Does she want to be a chef? What dream has she ever expressed?

Just name something quickly, please. An attorney. So you just started using LinkedIn premium. Now what? Well, on your premium company page, you noticed around seven and a half times more page engagement and five times more page views. Well done. And now new clients are messaging you.

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It grows louder when you ask for help and you're vulnerable. It is the thread that lets you know that no matter what happens, you will be okay. When we learn the power of hope, recovery is possible. Find out how at StartWithHope.com. Brought to you by the National Council for Mental Well-Being, Shatterproof, and the Ad Council. So figure out there are some good attorney programs on that show real in-depth thinking about

Have her involved in those. If you have any attorney friends, attorney books, attorney this, attorney that, start trying to bring this into her world so that she can plan her future without the piece of shit you married and made her with. Being neutral is the most horrible thing, in my opinion, you could have done here. Because if he's not a shit, then she is. That's how kids think.

He doesn't want to see her or talk to her because she's not adequate. She's not worthy of love.

When you take a neutral position, you tell the kid it's them. That's the problem. And that's why you need to say you made a stupid mistake, married a shitty man, made a baby, and then got rid of him, and now, honey, you're hurt because I messed up. Well, I messed up. He's a shit. Not talking to him is a blessing. So let's get busy on thinking about the next 60 years of your life.

You want to be an attorney? Let's fight for that. Get her redirected on her dream, but tell her the truth about your mistake so she is clear that it isn't her. Will do. Will do. Good. I appreciate your time. You're very welcome. Okay. Yes. You ladies who marry stupidly and make more babies stupidly with a guy and then dump his ass, your kids pay the price. You got rid of them.

They're still yearning for daddy. What have you done? Be more circumspect about who you marry and with whom you make babies. You know how crazy it makes me when somebody comes on and says we were married 12 years and then they give me the age of the kids and they're strewn all the way through it and all the way through it he had affairs and he was an alcoholic, whatever. So it was already downhill and we just kept making babies. One woman said because I wanted more babies. Now all the babies are paying a price. That's kids and adults. Come on. Come on.

Please. You have so much power now. You used to not be able to get married unless Daddy gave permission. Now you can do any foolish thing you wish to do. And look what we're doing to kids.

And frankly, these days, it's not the exception anymore. I'm Dr. Laura Schlesinger. My number 1-800-375-2872. Check out my social media on Facebook and Instagram. I post stories, photos, and videos seven days a week and feature some of what you've sent me to. There's always something interesting going on there. You can find me at facebook.com slash drlaura and instagram.com slash drlauraprogram.

Yeah.

It grows louder when you ask for help and you're vulnerable. It is the thread that lets you know that no matter what happens, you will be okay. When we learn the power of hope, recovery is possible. Find out how at startwithhope.com. Brought to you by the National Council for Mental Well-Being, Shatterproof, and the Ad Council.