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I am obliged to ask for the American government to report to the United Nations on the issue of the freedom of speech and justice.
What's up, you sexy motherfuckers? Welcome to another episode of Dumb Blonde. But today, it's really special because it's the first Horror Olympics that I've ever filmed. And today, I have my two really good buddies here. Riley Rabbit from Down the Rabbit Hole Podcast is here. How you doing, boo? I'm good.
Long time no see, baby. I know. I'm super excited to be here. Thanks for inviting me. Dude, I am like so stoked that you're here. Whenever I was doing this, I was like, Riley has to be a fucking judge. I'm not gonna lie. I saw that you were doing it and I was like, I really hope she calls me to judge. Aw, yay. I called Dick about it. And here we are. It's been love at first sight ever since I did Riley's podcast and she did mine. Everybody loved you too. I loved it. I can't wait to do another one. Yeah, I love that. And then of course, we got my main squeeze, Charlie. Motherfucking classic in the house. I will only be referred to as Girth Brooks during this compliment.
Referee Girth Brooks. He has his Girth Brooks gear on today. He's going to be, he has been so fucking whistle happy, okay? He has his fucking referee outfit on and he is in, what is it, method acting right now. Charlie, how are you doing? I'm doing good. I'm sitting next to a bunch of hot girls. How can I not be doing good? The Buddy Rabbit sandwich is in the house.
Dude, and fucking the contestants are hot as fuck, dude. Like, I can't wait for them to come. He's like, I know I fucked one. Oh, my God. All right. Well, without further ado, should we get started? Let's do it. We have our main announcer. Tell this Presley in the house, baby. What's it do? What's it do? What's it do?
We are live here tonight in Las Vegas for the first annual Whorelympics. This is gonna be a blast. Yeah, baby. For our first contestant, we are gonna do a little evening show, an evening gown show where they introduce themselves and they just tell us a little bit about themselves. So why don't you tell us what your name is, contestant number one? My name is Daisy. Hi, Daisy. Where are you from, baby? I'm from a small town between Beaumont and Temecula. Oh, wait. Beaumont...
Not Texas, right? California, sounds like. Can I pass this question? She's like, I am wanted by the cops. No, I'm from Edwild, California. Okay, awesome. Gotcha. Why don't you do a little spin for us?
This is the best evening gown I've ever seen. I love this. You're gonna get nip slips and everything. What was the vision and the inspiration for this evening look? This is just my custom design that I think makes me look like I'm material to be a wife other than just a whore. I love that. I'm getting the whole Gordon Ramsay mistress vibe. You know? I like it. I'm digging it. She says she does not have a television at the house.
I love it. So why don't you give us one random fact about yourself or something that we need to know that you think we should know about you? Well, fuck. I love you. What do you want in the personality department? I definitely am okay with telling everyone fuck you in public. I think we should make fuck you a regular word. I like it. Fuck you is a regular word? Okay. I like it. It's been part of my book for a very long time. I'm thinking nothing. I'm not sure. I think I'm going to win because fuck you.
Yeah! There you go! We heard it first, we heard it first. I like it. So what are you gonna do for your talent portion tonight? I think I'm gonna go ahead and do the perfected white girl twerk that I've been working on for about six years now. Okay. It's gonna be fucking hilarious. In and outside, so, you know, in prison and also out of prison. Oh, gotcha, okay. We got a random fact. Yeah! It's gonna be the white girl dance.
Okay. Okay. Did you bring music or do you need us to just, do you need Charlie to be a beatbox? Chestnuts roasting on an open fire. You can take the shoes off, Will. You want to take them off? You can do a little. Yeah, take your shoes off, baby. Get comfortable. Get loose. The white girl's work is much better accommodated with sneakers, yes. Okay. Well, why don't you...
Okay, why don't you go grab some sneakers and then we'll bring you right back on. You want to take a short commercial break? Yeah, baby. We wanted to watch you walk away anyway. She keeps saying she's going to like white girl twerk, but I see her walking. She has rhythm. She's going to have to lose that shit. Yeah, right? Drop the rhythm all together. I think she's going to pop lock and drop it on us. I think so. Yeah, I think she's going to. She was going to do it in the apron. Exactly.
Oh, housewife twerking, man. I can't wait. The old fuck you housewife twerking. Fuck you housewife twerking. This year's Whorelympics sponsored by Waffle House. Get yourself a double egg special and a grip bowl.
For $2.99 a day. All right, so we're going to score her. So each girl is going to come out. They're going to introduce themselves. They're going to tell us a little random fact about themselves. And then they're going to showcase their talent. We are going to score each thing that they do. And when they're done, we're going to hold up our score cards. And at the end, somebody's going to be keeping score. Haley over there. At the end of the pageant, we're going to add those up. And that's how that person wins. Okay. Wins or loses. So what are they winning?
That we'll tell you later. It has to be a surprise. Date with me to KFC of your choosing. We can go to the hood one. We can go to the nice fancy one in Summerlin. Buffet. It could be the buffet one. It's up to you. I think KFC would be a good one.
You're getting me with facts I don't even know about. I'm excited. Listen, the Summerlin KC, I think, has really nice bathrooms. The Summerlin KC? The KFC, yes. Okay, so let me ask you real quick. We don't have to get the code to get in. I know this is off topic. Where's your favorite place to poop in public? Oh, I don't poop in public, but I will fuck in a public bathroom. I don't care. I will poop in a public bathroom. I'll fuck in a public bathroom, but I won't shit in one. Joanne's Fabrics, cleanest bathrooms there are. White women losing their damn minds. There's too many of them. Oh, my God. What about fucking Michael's?
Michael's got some little clean, but you know, some fuckheads going Michael's too. All right. Well, that's good to know because I had to pee on the side of the road the other day. TJ Maxx actually has pretty decent bathrooms. I don't know. Really? I had to pee on the side of the road because I was on the track the other day and fucking I could not go and I'm so OCD. I was like, I'm not going in any of these fucking stores. There's no fucking way. Which track were you on? West Tropicana. I was over there. She's a fucking streaming girl.
Yeah, yeah. No, I'm like, baby, yes. There's been plenty of prostitutes that have definitely pissed on that road before. Oh, for sure. But they got to see their first track hoe the other day and it was so fucking funny, dude. They were so happy about it. Did you see the one girl with the blonde hair that's down her ankles? Riley, he doesn't know what a track hoe is. Oh, baby. Yeah.
We gotta explain that. I thought you were cooler than that. Wait, what's going on? We ready. We ready. Listen, I put my hand inside a girl up to her kidneys and worked her like a ventriloquist. But she wasn't a tramp. I thought I'm okay cool. But was she awake? I am okay cool. But was she awake? Of course she was awake. I have sign forms that can send everything. Did you get her on Tropicana? No, I found her at Circus Circus. Team Fuck You is back.
Are you ready baby? We're over here talking about trackos and KFC come on down baby Yeah, baby, all right, we're gonna give us the music a little beat yeah, okay go Charlie go oh shit. Oh shit Don't go too hard
I hope you can twerk now. I'm gonna fucking pee my pants. Don't come in here with that, that duds. She's not strong with any of y'all. We gonna get you straight. We gonna get you straight. Alright, let's go baby. Yeah baby. That's the worst beat ever. Yeah.
All right, baby. Come on. Razzle dazzle. Razzle. Yeah.
Yeah. Man, judges, what y'all think is going to happen to this? First of all, she did- For a white girl. Come on up here. No, no, no, no, no. Go ahead, man. Get on up here up in front with it. The judges is about to give you- That was pretty hard actually. What do you think, Riley? Show it to them. That's right. She twerked her little booty, I think. All right, all right. First of all, let's- You gotta do it in slow motion. Go slow motion. Is it to like one to 69? What is the point score? One to 10, right? One to 10. One to 10? Yep. Okay.
How you feel you did? I feel like I did great. You guys ready to show the scores? Man, we got some math on the motherfucker board. We got a whole six. 6.23 for me. We got a seven and a quarter. And a 7.23. And what do you got, Riley? A six. Yeah, baby. I just added the two three. Just for a little razzle dazzle. Now you're in first place. All right, Daisy, have a seat, baby. You aren't.
I love this. You look like punk rock Barbie. Welcome. I love this. What is your name? Contestant number two. You got a really nice rack, by the way. Hmm.
Those things are pretty jiggly. They're nice, right? It's really nice. I'm like distracted. They weigh 2.3 pounds. Can I see them? They're really nice. Can we just see them? Wow. All right, she won. Tida! I'm just kidding. Tida! What's your name, baby? All right, what's your name, baby? I don't know. Lydia? Hi, Lydia. Where are you from, Lydia? I don't know. California and Vegas. She's like, I'm just here.
There's a lot of Cali Vegas girls here. There is a lot of Cali Vegas girls here. I love that. So what is one fact that you think we all need to know about you? There's so many. Her face. Do you got a random fact or do you have a funny joke you want to tell? Here's the thing. I know a fact about her. Every place she goes, there's always a leak. Every single place she goes, there's a leak. Yeah? Yeah, there's a leak. There's always just wet spots in every floor in any place she visits.
- That's a good fact. - I love that. - I would really like to figure out what the hell is that. - That's so slow. - Okay. - Do you have a bandaid? - We do not have a bandaid. - 'Cause I just scraped my knee falling for you. - Oh God, I love her. - Hey! - What I'm talking about next is A1 pimping right there if you ain't never seen it before. - Poetic, I love it. - Yeah, no, I love it. All right, so what is your talent gonna be for us, baby? - Well, I was gonna score it six feet. - Yeah! - There's that leak, everybody.
She took the jacket off like a champ. She's a pro, baby. You know what? Fucking salute. I'm so excited about this. So can you just squirt me on command or how does it work? I need a vibrator. I wasn't prepared.
Do we have a vibrator for her? Did we bring an extra vibrator? Did we get her a towel? Let's get her a towel. Absolutely. Okay, in case you guys didn't know, Charlie and Lydia have fucked before, okay? He's not a creepy weirdo who watches her content. He's actually been inside her vagina. You're a lucky girl, Lydia. I've been trying to get Charlie to bang me forever. Yeah, Bonnie's literally been trying to bang me forever. That was my number one goal.
You me Riley and Lydia, let's go I can maybe feel like two-thirds of it
All right, so for those that are at home listening, she's getting towels out right now. We should whisper, she's getting towels out right now. She's getting the towels out right now. And she is laying them on the ground. Like commentary. She is getting prepared. These are really nice fabric towels, Bunny. I feel like this is a really good technique she has going with it. I feel like she is going to soak those towels. Oh, for sure. I can't wait. I feel like that's pretty close to 60. This house belongs to Jen Harley. I would just like to apologize in advance for your fucking...
floor is getting squirted all over. We promised to clean it up. I'm just letting you know, anything under six feet, you're not getting a Christmas present.
If you spray country, it's okay. He likes it. If anybody is concerned, I actually am a professional at mopping up wet ass pussy. Yeah, baby. So we're fine. All right. We're good. We got it. Look at how cute she is. I love her. Mopping up pussy. I fucking love. God. Look, I got goosebumps. I'm so already over here. Oh, that was a gentleman. What a gentleman. Come over.
Oh, country is great. I know. All right. We are excited. I feel like we should look away or something. Are you kidding? I want to be closer. Can we scoot the table? All right. She's like, you need to watch. She said you should get a closer view. It's about to go down, folks.
It's all right, baby. No worries. She had to change her shoes. You want commentary on it? As Lydia Gray spreads her legs for the competition, they're at a 35 degree angle. And her face is like gorgeous. I love this whole competition. Bunny's just hitting on the girls. This was literally a dating show for Bunny. Really? This is literally what it boils down to. It's the eyes of me, though. I keep saying it. Like her eyes are like. No, but she has that fuck me face. Yeah, that fuck me. Those fuck me eyes. Like, just come fuck me. Yeah.
I like it. I feel like everybody's just complimenting my ex in front of me while she's touching herself. I'm like, you know what? Life's a strange journey. Okay. You guys actually have a podcast coming out. Yeah. We have a podcast coming out about the breakup. About the breakup. Total shat show. You have to listen to it. You have to tune in and listen to this. Wait till they see the only fans version. Oh, I can't. I'll subscribe.
We've just had a clutch moment here. A new vibrator has surfaced. Did that vibrator not work? All right, we switched. Don't say that. I get excited. I'm so excited. I'm like a kid in a candy store over here. I'm sweating. That's a glimpse. We're going to need two towers, one under bunny. Yes.
Hello. So it's the end. Yep. Yeah, baby. I'm so glad Haley got that dude. Cause my wife, I was playing with myself the other night and it fucking just ran out right when I was about to come. I was like, that is the worst. I had blue balls. It was terrible. No, but I mean, it's a fucking huge disappointment. It really, it's a huge disappointment.
And then the next time you try, it's like it never happens because it got stuck. Yeah. Yes. Because it was like that was that one. Yeah. It was your one go. Oh, you want to play, huh? You're not coming for me. Charlie's like, I'm learning something new about girls right now. It's so, there's two hot chicks talking to me and then there's a girl competing. Whoa! Yeah! Oh, shit! Woo! Six to ten! Yeah! Woo!
What we have here is a rainstorm. Holy shitballs. Holy fucking shit. I'm excited. The competition just got deep. 59 plus.
- Uh oh. - I got 10 plus four. - I'm on .5, nine plus four. - Nine plus five. - Is that what the winner gets? Thank you so fuck you. - I mean, yeah, yes. - Should we measure it? Should we like-- - Oh for sure, we gotta measure it. - Okay, that's more. - Let's do a measure. - Hold on, I'm the ref. Hold on, I'm the ref. I gotta measure this. - Yeah, you're the ref. You should've been down there. - Wait, I'm gonna get closer to this vagina. Everybody come back. - That's way more than six feet right there. - All right, Charlie, way over this fucking mayhem. - I see your vagina in this area.
13 fucking feet damn fucking feet right there fucking guys
I am like, I'm fucking tongue-tied. You know what the scary thing is? This is the absolute best part. This is the first time I'm the cameraman who didn't get squirted on. This is the first time in my career I wasn't the one getting squirted on. First of all, you're going to stop being greedy. You used to have that pussy. I know. How did you let that go? What are you talking about? It's
Well, I'm about to be Mrs. Stelio girl, okay? Because she is fucking hot. All right, all right. So do we need to clean this up? Okay, let's break so we can clean this up real quick. We cleaned up. Fucking Lydia squirted 13 feet. It was insane. Remarkable. She got tens across the board. Tens plus thinsomes. I don't even know what to say right now. The competition is...
- Yes, the competition is tight. It's tight right now. - Number three. - Come on down, baby. - Don't bring your ass on down. - She is hot. - She is coming out with her own shit right now. She came out with a handful of stuff. - What the fuck is this? - Listen, the last two bitches were not ready. I'm a brain. - What the fuck is this? - Contestant number three, what is your name, baby girl? You are hot too. - My name is Carissa. - Hi, Carissa. She reminds me of like a really sexy, like,
Like she'll put a spell on you type shit. Yeah. Hot. Yeah. Yes. Where are you from, baby? I'm from Utah. Oh, I love Utah girls. Like turning. I like turning them out.
They do come ready and eager. Yeah, they do. I'm moving to Utah. So what was your inspiration? You know what? We were so fucking impressed by Lydia. We didn't even ask her about her damn dress. Carissa, what was your inspiration with this dress? Turn around and show it off for us. This is beautiful. Ooh, I like the sheer. Yeah, baby. Nice. Is that like a butterfly? Ooh. She's hot, too. It's like she's a sexy screen door. Yeah. Oh, it's hot.
Let's open that bitch up. That turns Charlie on. He's definitely in. I think I've seen him fuck a screen door or two. I would. I would. I love it. I love it. So what's a random fact about you that we need to know? I'm a barber and I used to be a youth minister. Oh my goodness. Praise the Lord. I am happy. Riley, you were a fucking minister? Yeah, a youth minister. I used to pass through.
Oh my god, that's why you be fuckin' preaching to these hoes now, right? I'm the only one here going to hell. We're saved, I don't know what's going on with you. This is the first time I've ever seen Charlie really tongue-tied. Usually he knows what to say. This whole time he's just like a fuckin' kid in a candy store. Listen, she is so fine, but I cannot... Is that dildo wearing a birthday hat? Yes, it is. Do you see this? Can we zoom in on her dildo, please?
Is this part of your talent, baby? Or what is your talent? So in honor of your birthday, I'm going to try and fit this inside me. Yes!
Get the fuck out of here. I don't know where you ladies. Yo, that is straight up little people of New York arm. That bitch is huge. It looks like a conch shell. Yeah, it does. Shit. That's a fucking bitch. That's like a kind of fleece slug. Oh, my. That motherfucker's heavy, too. Oh, that's what Ariel was singing about under the sea. That's, okay. That thing has some whip. Okay.
That thing has some width on it. How big a round do we think this is for the people at home? That is definitely a girth brooks, no? That's a girth brooks for sure. I mean, that's at least two, like what? Two of your fucking... That's like an essential metal. That is literally four of my dicks stacked on top of each other. God, it's so big.
I feel like there's a giant ball about to start rolling behind my man in the knees. I just want to be like, Mufasa. We're going to need another towel here for this. All right, so we need another towel, right? Real quick, we got to ask her a random fact about her. She told us she's a barber and she used to be a youth minister. I feel like that's not random. Oh, well, I didn't know that. It was pretty fucking random. I feel like a female barber is kind of like, that's cool as fuck.
I feel like she really shocked me with the fucking minister shit. Yeah, that was definitely. I already knew this stuff. You're not. Listen, you son of a bitch. I'm just saying that I'm allergic to fire ants and my tits swell. Just because you get to hang out with hot bitches all day, Charlie, I don't. So stop ruining my fucking fantasy. Whatever. You have a mirror. You are a hot bitch. So this would be my third time using a dildo and I learned how to squirt today. Yay.
Congratulations. I love it. I'm not going to start on camera, but we're definitely going to try to finish it. All right. Listen, if you can get that in your pussy, dude, I'm probably going to cry. Like, I just can't even believe that. Let's go. This is a beautiful thing. It's so beautiful. Squared 101. You think that's beautiful? You haven't seen until she takes her pants off. Do you want a clean towel? Are you just right there? That's very nice. Well, she has a pretty face and she has like pretty coloring too. You know, you can tell if a bitch is going to have a pretty pussy by her coloring. Can you?
Yeah. You know what I'm talking about? All pussies are pretty. That's okay. Let's stop. I've seen a few. That's a lie. Just like all titties are pretty. There are some goddamn wizard sleeves out there that I have not wanted to do anything magical. That's great. I love magic. How are you going to take this? I've seen some. Puff, puff, puff. Are you telling me right now if a fucking 95-year-old woman come up and be like, you want to see my titty? Plop those fucking fried eggs hanging on nails out. Her pussy will look like Cheetah, Papa Bubba. All right. So she fucking.
See your vagina because Charlie said it's beautiful. She's trying to figure out. Look how pretty it is. Oh yeah, she's trying to figure out how she's going to take it. Listen, I just, I'm in love with everybody. It's got the little, you know, just a little bit. It's not fair. I'm in love with everybody. He's talking about me, but she's like all fidgety over here. She's like almost wiping sweat. I'm like,
She is lubing up the conch. That's a conch, right? It is a conch. It's a conch, right? Where'd you get that bottle of lube, Costco? I don't trust lube bottles like that. I'll fuck it up with hand sanitizer. Fuck a girl's whole day up. My brother did that to me in high school. Such a dick. He put alcohol in some of my lube. I was like 17. Burned the shit out of my lube. I was just joking. That one sucks so bad. He found out I was having sex.
- Look at her, she's fucking, all right, so she is using a dildo. - Wait, are you, oh, you're warming up. - Get it, baby. - I love the-- - You know, she's a trooper. If you can stand up and do that, you're a fucking savage. - I bet it looks really hot from the front, from this angle, it'll look really straight. There you go, thanks. - Yeah. - In other words, Charlie wants to see what's going on, okay? - If you check out the technique, she's getting low, she's getting big. - What does your tattoo say, babe? What queen? Ice queen? - She is beautiful.
Yes you are. She kinda reminds me of some kind of like mystical... Yeah! Her shit is acing right now. There you go! I love it! Okay, alright. Oh my god, here we go. Okay, she is sitting on it. She's straddling it. I'm trying to see... You may... I'm not... Me, I mean, I would turn it the other way maybe. I don't know but my... I don't know, I think the other way is gonna come out the other hole. It's big. It's alright, let her do whatever's comfortable for you. Oh my god. Oh!
Maybe not. Maybe turn it whichever way works. Turn it the other way. Yeah, turn it the other way, baby. Turn it around for you. I have a tilted cervix. Well, you know what? She got half of it in there. Yeah, you're doing well. You're doing good, baby. This has got to be what it's like to fuck Shaq. No, Shaq has a little dick. My girl fucked him. Shut the fuck up, baby. I got banned on TikTok for saying that. So does Sean Merriman, I heard.
Shaq for sure called somebody and was like, it's fucking white, bitch. Okay, so she is, she turned it around now. She's getting more comfortable. If you need to like lay back, do you think maybe if you lay back instead of writing it? Can the other contestants assist? Yeah, if you guys want to. I can't remember. We're not against
This is a team effort. Letting it out on the floor. Can somebody put it in? Is that cheating? Is that cheating if they put it in there? Oh, God dang. Okay, well, the girls are making out now. Yeah, you've got to get it warmed up. You know what? I was thinking about going to strip club DJing. I'm staying here. Fuck this job. Listen, she's like, let me warm this up for you, babe. This is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. This is just like so majestic. I feel like this is like the ending of The Notebook. This is beautiful. Okay. It's silent.
Everybody is just like, this is gorgeous. I'm just keeping it going at home for the friends at home. Is she the one who taught you to squirt? It's just a beautiful thing. Good job, babe. That's a friend. Real friends teach other friends how to squirt. It's so big. It's so big. It's so hard to ride shit on the ground, though. Let's be honest, it's hard. It's hard on the knees, so I give you props for that. Why don't you lay back and let Lydia put it in you? I think that would be... Except, can you guys do it this way? Okay.
- And you said I was the butt. - Thank you so much. - You do have a pretty pussy. - I need them to face the camera, so. I mean, it's beautiful. Her pussy is so pretty. - It's so evenly distributed. - You got a pretty pussy. Daisy, I think you need to moral support the titties. - Get a little influence in there. Get in that bitch. - One of the best days I've ever had.
I'm excited. We've got a party in the room. This is nice. You know what? I got to send a picture home to my husband real quick. Do you guys mind? Can I please send him a picture? No, baby. I just need you to see what's going on right now. You are so missed here. Look at this. Look how beautiful. Oh, my God. It is great. That's how you know when you have a great wife, when she sends you videos like this. What an awesome wife.
Oh my God. There it goes. There it goes. There it goes. We've got a breach. Oh my God. It's breached. I'm holding my breath. What? Lean back and just, yep, just relax. You're coaching it. You're coaching it like, like what? Listen, I love you guys so much. This is the best birthday ever. Oh my goodness. This is amazing. First off, your face while this is trying to be shoved in you is great.
This is amazing. What? Oh, I'm like, okay, guys, I really, I don't think if you, unless you're seeing this, you don't understand the width of this thing. Yeah, you guys have to fucking subscribe to Patreon because this is insane. Like, no joke, this is like, it's like bigger than this. If you guys have ever had an essential bottle. It's probably as thick as around as a Gatorade bottle. Yeah. As a big Gatorade bottle. Yeah. Dude, I love Lydia. She's like, let's fucking go.
The haunch part? The little guy? We haven't even made it to the competitions yet. I know! We haven't even gotten to the competition! She just took her rings off. Everybody wins! That's how you know she's a pro. She took her rings off. I forgot we have other...
Oh, there's more? Oh, yeah. All right. So Lydia's whole hand is in Chris's vagina. Oh, shit. Oh, my God. This is amazing. Okay, so Lydia's whole hand. Is it too much? Right down to the hair tie. Is fucking, it's in there. Is it okay if I video this for my husband? It's only for my husband. Absolutely.
Oh my God, this is amazing. Oh my God. Okay, so Lydia has her so relaxed now that her whole fist is in her vagina. No, this is the hottest thing I've ever seen in my life. Good Lord. I am leaving snail trails all over my seat right now. This is fucked up. All I want, Lydia, can you do jazz hands? Oh, inside. It is a jazz hand and...
Oh my God, so she just had her hand inside her whole vagina, gave her jazz hands and a peace sign. Wait, wait, wait. I have a really important question. Is fisting how deaf people like dirty talk?
- Oh my God. - What? - It's a real question. - Wah, wah, wah. Charlie, this is a beautiful moment, all right? You got this. - I'm already in. I'm already fully committed to my score at this point. - Yeah, no, like seriously, she's talking, she's because the amount of effort and the commitment for your birthday is on a different level. - Okay.
All I know is I might steal her for a versus. I love it. I love it. Oh, dude, you got to do this so that we can fucking do this. We want to do a versus, but it's going to be my whores versus her thoughts. Yes. You're going to be there, of course. Oh, she almost got it back. That was pretty deep, babe. Yes. She's like, yeah, whore. Fucking hats off to you guys, dude. I feel like he's been getting the half ways impressive. Yeah. That motherfucker. A solo cup. Put it next to that solo cup.
Victor's like I want the lighter back please Listen I am just ecstatic Oh, I gave her a hundred I'm not fucking pissed up her I gave her 20 This girl learned how to squirt like that's the top Dolly Parton
I love it. You got it, Haley? Dolly's a dirty bitch. She would have loved this. Oh, Dolly is fucking dirty. I know. All right. Well...
I had to adjust my panties. Yeah, no, I was literally like turned on over here. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life. Nobody, I'm so close to money. Every five seconds, she's like, oh. Oh, yeah. It's going to be like sexual ASMR whenever people at home are listening. We're going to take a break, guys, so that everybody can change and then we'll be right back. Paralympics, babe. Paralympics, baby, 2022. Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back. All right, guys, we are back.
Country is one of the best co-hosts ever. In the building. He is ready to fucking rumble. All right, the girls have changed their clothes. They have put on their outfits for the competitions that they're going to do. So now for this next segment, what we're going to do is you guys have three competitions. If you guys want to come out here, you can. Come on down and just have a seat on the chairs. You know why their nipples are perky. Yeah, baby. Come on, contestant number one.
I love them. You can see right through it. Yeah, baby. Oh, shit. Yeah. Razzle dazzle now. She's just going to wink at us. I love it. Please tell me that's your catchphrase country. Razzle dazzle. Razzle dazzle. Razzle dazzle. Love it. All right, we're missing a contestant. Oh, come on, baby girl.
Daisy's coming on down. Contestant number one. I love that Daisy's nipple is always out. Is it the right one or the left one? I love it. The one on the left over here got a problem with you. All right. So you're going to have three challenges. And whoever scores, you know, you guys are going to get your scores or whatever. And they're going to add up at the end. The first challenge is called Holy Smokes, right? And what we're going to do is we're going to give you guys each a...
Charlie, stop. We're going to give you guys each a kielbasa sausage. And you have your choice of putting it down your throat, deep-throating it, or inserting it in your vagina or butthole if you want. And whoever can make it go the deepest...
You know, we score off of that. Whichever hole goes further. Whatever hole goes further. We're going to put condoms on them, though, so you don't have to worry about putting raw pork inside your vagina. Not today. You're welcome. You're welcome. I was the one who was like, you guys didn't get caught? You guys are going to be judged on depth.
your form we'd like to hear noises too so we want to we want you guys to really get into it and have fun if you guys want to turn one into a double head dildo we don't care like just whoever makes the snossage disappear the most but it could be it could be through you know throat pussy yeah throat pussy ass all right so are you guys ready who's gonna go first who wants to go first
Can we get the sausages out here? Sad thing is Arby's would totally sponsor this Arby's. I don't know how Arby's in business. I think I'm the only one who eats there. Who's going first? I need a good beef and cheddar at least twice a year. And that's it.
All right, so we're handing them the sausages right now. They're looking at the sausages. Got a little kielbasa. Razzle dazzle baby. Do you want us to heat it up in the microwave a bit? Is it cold? I figured it would make it greasy though. Yeah. And you'll cook it. Is anyone going to judge me if I totally eat Lydia's sausage? No. Okay, good. All right. Please do. Please do. You'll split it, country? I'm good. All right, all right. We don't know where it goes. Please.
All right, they're putting condoms on their sausages right now. So it's based on how much of that is in the pants. Isn't this how they taught us in middle school? I feel like we're in sex ed right now. Oh, okay. I mean, if you, you know, you like to bear back the dink. Oh, wow. So he knows things. Yeah, he knows. Victor, we love you. Do you think, do you, so do you guys think doubling it up is the way to go or should you do it long and skinny?
She's like, fuck it. She's going to do the fold method. I love it. She's straight going like Kylo Ren lightsaber. Dude, I'm amazed at how much that condom is stretching. Look at Carissa. She covered the whole fucking... Holy shit. I feel like she took a fifth. So who's going to go first? What kind of condom? I've never used one of those. I would know. Assertively...
Thrusting it over. If you slowly look at how she's got both sausages in the same pan. She's got a technique, folks. We're going to see what's going to happen here. I can't wait to see. I like it. I like it. I like it. So Carissa, Carissa's going to go first. Oh, shit. All the way in the mouth? Holy shit. In the mouth? Bite it. It don't matter. Just don't bite it. She got it halfway. Halfway. Damn. We've got a teeth mark. All right. Is that your final answer? No.
Okay, well, please be careful. Sometimes you got to spit on that latex a little bit, you know? Yeah, just sob on the knob. Like corn on the cob. Check in with me and do your job. So glad you're from the South. You live in the South now.
Oh shit! Oh my god, she's- Oh! I see it moving in her throat. Oh my god. It's in her throat. This bitch is sucking dick right now. It is fucking- she is deep throating. She's breaking that shit. Dude! Messy, messy, messy. And she doubled it up. That's kind of like a double dick. I feel like my husband's missing this. Let's break off the piece that you didn't get in there so we can measure it. Are you going again? Is that your final answer? Oh yeah, I'm just gonna send this to Jay.
I just absolutely want him here. Oh, she's getting ready for this one. This is for do it for jelly roll. Do it for jelly roll. Oh! Yeah, baby! Woo! Country, you saw where it was marked? I'm impressed. All right. Let's mark it with a marker. Come here. Bring it up here, baby. Oh, but Mark is doing good. Let's take this over here to the judges panel. Bring it up here. Bring it up here. Put it right there on the table. Yep, just put it right here. We got Lysol. All right. She's right here, baby.
You did good, baby. - Like you're behind the slime? - Yep. - Right there. - All right, that's Carissa, so we're gonna just sit that there. - We had a deep one there, uh-oh. You see what you're challenging, you see your competition now, right? - What should we score? - I'm trying to say. - Huh? Oh, I'm not talking about... - You see the competition now, you see the competition? Shit is getting serious today. Shit has just hit the fucking fan, it's about to go down. What are you all gonna do? - What do we think for a score, what do we think?
I'm Simon Cowell over here. Are we doing hundreds?
We're just going to go 1-100. You guys are so impressive. We can't even keep it 1-100. We can't change the score. So if we're doing 1-100. Okay, well then I need to change my score for going 1-100. Hold on. Sorry. We got a throat goat. Uh-oh, that's a big time achievement to get throat goat. Let's go. Two throat goats. Listen, can I just say something?
pride myself on being a throat goat and for me to give you this is from one throat goat to another baby yeah I don't give this to everybody I love that did you get the score for me I'm gonna put a number up for the first time on the horror olympics we got a devil throat goat okay I'm gonna go I'm gonna go with 85 85 throat goat baby let's go out of 100 contestant
Number two. Lydia. Which way? We're going in the... Yep. Okay. She's like, yeah. I love it. I love her. My mouth's all right. Is it okay if I send Jay a video? Yeah. Okay. He's literally sitting at home living his best life right now. We did hear that minute and a half ago. Oh, you're going double in straight in. That's double Dutch. Oh. Yeah, baby.
Oh, shit. That's a little DP going on in there. That is DP. Hey, look. The sausage is gone. She is...
Contestant number two has made the sausage disappear. It's gone. I didn't know Criss Angel was in this competition. Where did it go? She's motherfucking Houdini. Don't lose that sausage. Hold on to that piece. Hold on to that beef stick. Hold on to that motherfucking turkey. If you leave it in there long enough, I think it'll cook. I mean, it's gone. You're done. I can't even see it anymore. She took it. Yeah, the line on yours is just no more fucking shit.
No. Mark it with your finger how deep it is. Her face is always just so, just like, what? It doesn't matter what. Bewildered. But it's like a bewildered beauty. You know what just broke the sausage off in the end? Look at this. Don't get it lost in there.
- That works. - Yeah, yeah. - I mean, I don't like watching sausages get broken pussies, but you know. - Show the camera, show the camera. Show the camera, that's how much you got in there? - Yeah, that was good. - We don't have a measuring tape? I feel like we need to know how much DP you're getting. - No, we're good, we got it. Charlie's gonna eat it. Charlie said he'd eat it. - For sure. - Charlie, eat it right now. - The sausage got a little loose in there. - Mark it and then eat it. - There is no mark. - What are you talking about? - She already broke it off for us. - There's no mark.
That was all there is. All right, Charlie's about to... Yeah, baby.
Charlie. He is eating. It's like a Lydia's face right now is full of disgust. She was like, first of all, I can't believe you just ate raw meat like that. No, I feel like you should deep throat the whole thing. Oh God, please. I know I went to church camp and shit, but it's been years. It's been years. What do we score Lydia for getting it all the way in? What do we do? Yeah, definitely. Yeah, that was.
She got 100 real easy. I mean, she took it all. She literally took it all. That throat goat shit was amazing. That double throat goat shit was amazing. I'm going to go with this right here. Yeah, that was awesome. Wait, no, I don't like this number. It's a tough competition here. I'm going 90 and a half. OK. Damn! You didn't get the end pieces inside. Not raw!
No, you're good. You're good. She says, please drop in the balls. I went with 75 only because I feel like pussy stretch. Yeah. It's really hard to get something that big. That is true. That is true.
She said she's like a re-dip. You chose your hole. She said she's going for the butt this time. She said she'll put it in her butt next time. No, all right. 35 is impressive. All right. Contestant number one, Daisy. What are you going to do now, Mr. Posley? Which hole are we doing? Does Daisy have her sausage? Daisy, you don't have the double. You also don't have the double. If you're a deep. I'm going first, then I'm going first. She's like, the bar was not set when I went. Going first was definitely better. Yeah, for sure.
That being said, I've done this at Sturgis with regular-sized hot dogs several times, but never ones that bend around like this. Was that a beef or a pork? You know, I can't call it. It's a turkey kielbasa, girl. Maybe we shouldn't know. The only way of getting some points is doing some form or something, right? Yeah. All right. All right. So she has completely turned around. Now, is she going double two or is she going single? Are you putting a condom in it? Oh, are you going in your mouth? Okay, gotcha. Hold on.
She's just gonna eat the meat. Yeah, come over here. Turn this way so we can see you. No, come on over here. Yeah, no, move the chair. Yeah, you ain't getting out this year. Lydia's so helpful. She's like, suck that dick. She's just motherfucking trash. Come over here. We want to see you, baby. Do you want a condom or are you just gonna raw dog? This is like a white snake video. I like it. I love it.
I have never been... Turn that sausage on, baby. I'll jerk it off. She is jerking the sausage off. We're at home talk. I've never been jealous of a stuffed meat. Get it, baby. She's going in to throat goat it. Daisy, you got this, baby. See, she got the eye contact down. She's got that crazy pussy. I love these...
Yeah. Riley. You're never going to meet me, Jenny. Yeah. I'll find you. Yeah. That was it? Girl, you better try. You better work. I was going for form. Form's good. Form's good. She did have amazing form. She did have amazing form. Okay. Is that your final answer before we score? I mean, fuck, I don't want to quit throwing a bike at you. But you have other holes. Okay, I'll try both. You're right. You have other holes, too. Don't forget. What?
Okay. Yeah. The form is working for you. Do it. All right. All right. There you go. Oh yeah. All right. There you go. Mark. Do us a favor and just deep throat it and take a bite. That's all I want to see. There you go. Yeah, baby. Listen, a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Alright, cool. I got it, I got it. What do we score? I feel like the other girls are doing it so much harder. This shit is hilarious. What do you think, Riley? You guys are nice. You should spit on it. A nice judge. A minus.
Folks, we got plenty of more motherfucking competition to come. I mean, I'm all about effort, and these girls have been putting in work over here. The party has just fucking begun. I feel like there wasn't much effort it was going to get, ever. All right, I guess I'll be nice. I like my score. Judges, judges. You guys ready? How are y'all feeling over there? Boom.
I like the 69s perform and the 13 is for the booty facing towards me. Aw, Charlie's all about it. I did an 11 because I am all about girls trying, you know? And you did try, but you didn't give it the old college try, like you said. Or somebody gave me that says something about a college try earlier. You. What about that 30 down there? What's up with the 30? I mean, I like the fact that she was like, hey, you know what? I don't know my strong points, but I'm going to just do what I can. You know what I mean? Yeah.
It's all right. It's all right. There's two more competitions for you to step up. It's cool. All right. Are you guys ready for the next round? Should we get removed these sausages or are we just going to sit here and stare at them the whole time? Except this one. I'll be general. Don't feel like eating. It's really good. It's not that bad. Charlie is eating. Hold on. Can I get this on video, please? That's fine. You can go and take that one over there, too. Hold, please. Unless you're going to do something else. So this was just inside somebody. What?
Listen, it's not my fault you didn't cater. It's not my fault. All right, guys. Second fucking competition. You guys crushed the first one. What did you think about the first one, Riley? It was fun. There was definitely some dedication. Dude, you guys are like really. I love you guys so much. Thank you for doing this for the first tour Olympics. I think it's amazing. Charlie, how do you feel about what just went down? I feel good. You know, my heart's working.
All right, guys. The second competition is called Glory Holes. And what we're going to do is you have to get on your knees. Should we get the girls a pillow so it doesn't hurt their knees? You guys are going to have to get on your knees with your hands behind your back, one at a time. So each pack belongs to each girl, and you have to catch as many of these with your mouth without your hands while they're being tossed at you. Whoever catches the most, of course, wins that challenge. All right. You guys ready? I can't wait to see. Yeah.
It's going to be an epic competition here. I know, I know. I think Daisy's going to fucking come back. Yeah, I think this is Daisy's fucking shit right here. Definitely her breakout. She says, I'm going first on this one. This is Daisy's shit. All right, and we have the beautiful Charlie Classic who is going to be roughing the whole thing. All right, here we go. Ready, set, go. It's okay. Keep going. Keep going. She missed the first one.
I think just bite it with your front teeth. It don't matter. Just don't bite it. What do we got here? Oh, that one was to her chest. There you go. That was close. That was close. Daisy has resorted to just letting her face get slapped with hot dogs.
I mean, I love it. I love it. This is awesome. That was close. The titty smack. That motherfucker was dense. Almost. I think maybe no tongue. Oh my God. The smack on the face. All right. So Daisy got none, but the effort was there.
Yeah, she did. She did. She got a half a point for it. Okay, she was... Daisy got a half a point for slapping.
She was amazing. I'm glad she really went for it. She really went for it this time. Some of those really come into her face pretty fast. What do you think about what just happened this year? You know, I think that the contestants are doing really well. I feel like they've practiced all year long. And it's really, really showing. Also, I don't know what to do with my hands. Exactly. Is it a technique thing? I really think it is a technique. I also think that Mimi throws like a girl. Charlie, would you like to throw the next round?
Would you like to throw the next round? No, because I'm going to aim for the forehead every time. All right, ready? Okay, Carissa is next. Here we go. Oh, I see her. She coming in. Mimi, underhand. Okay. It's raining hot dogs in here, folks. Look, Carissa is determined. That was close. That was close.
Get it baby get it! That was so close! Karissa is so determined dude the look on her face right now she's like I got this! Come on baby come on baby! Yes! We almost had one folks! Oh another one! Almost! Almost! That's the end of it folks! I love Lydia Lydia's like come on!
Lydia's going now. So close. Oh, dinger. This is brutal. This is brutal. When it hits the mouth, just chomp down. The third team buster is getting closer and closer. Almost, almost.
- Oh, God, you can hear it bounce off the teeth. - Oh, wait a minute, I over-relid it. - Oh, that was so close. - She said, "Ew." - It's, sorry, baby. Aw, that is teamwork right there. That is beautiful. That's a beautiful thing right there. - Aw, did you get meat juice? - Aw. - It doesn't feel good when that chick gets in your eyes. - She's got meat juice in her eye. - All right, we're almost done. - That's how you know when you're eating a hot dog, when your eyelashes fall off. - Ah!
Charlie's like, I'm doing it. Aim for the tongue. Aim for my tongue. I'm good at crane games. Not crane.
We're going to score each girl on how they did. So how do you think Daisy did? Okay, I'm going to give it... Daisy, listen. I think Daisy brought the heat this time. Yeah, I feel like they all kind of gave very good efforts. Yeah. I'm going to give Daisy a 40. Okay, I'll double that up. I'll give Daisy a 40 too. Yeah. D with the 40. I feel like...
Lydia. Lydia. I feel like Lydia tried really hard too, so I'm going to give her a 40. We've got a nipple. Carissa, though, the face. Yeah, no, Carissa was determined. Is it Carissa with a K or with a C? It's with a C. And I'm going to give Carissa a 60. I'm giving Carissa a 70 because I feel like... All right, I'll give her a 70. Let's give her a 75. Yeah, it was strong. 75. It was strong.
Lydia just 75 for Carissa Lydia kept coming like she was like I'm determined Oh, yeah, no, Lydia is still on the floor trying to catch hot dogs right now. No, I get it. Hold on Can I get a video of this? I'm like, I want to try it I wish it was clean Goal! Almost!
Are you okay? What happened? It went in her eye. Just smack him with it.
All right, guys. So we are back. The girls have changed their clothes. You guys have been fucking crushing it, dude. Like, oh my God, this was fucking amazing. Listen, everybody at home, please leave in the comments how much you guys love this. And also I want to give you guys an opportunity to shout out your socials too. So let's not forget to do that because I want people to be able to find you in your only fans and stuff like that. So the last competition is a slob on the knob. So what we're going to do is you guys each have an eggplant. Look at Daisy's already trying to eat it.
You guys have an eggplant that we are going to lather in peanut butter. Country is going to hold it and you have to get on your hands. You have to get on your knees and with your hands behind your back and suck as much peanut butter off of the eggplant as you can in 30 seconds.
Nobody has a peanut allergy. We're good. Oh, yeah. Does anybody have a peanut allergy? I love Riley. Riley is a motherly. I am. I'm mama bear all day. She is. I'm like, nobody has a peanut allergy.
We don't need those problems. We don't know country has one, but his face does one. He's like, don't stop. Don't stop. I mean, you're going to be judged on form, but just the whole point is get as much fucking peanut butter off that thing as you can. Down your throat. I mean, whatever you can do. However you got to suck it, just fucking suck the shit off without your hands though. Yeah. The goal is to get as much peanut butter. Yep. And then right after this, we crown who the winner is. You guys get your prizes. Little razzle dazzle, baby. All right. Who's going to go first for this one?
Daisy loves going first. Do we need a pillow for the knees again? She's like the bar is set too high. All right, Daisy's coming again. Daisy's coming first. Yeah, baby. She's got her little Miss Americana. It's very patriotic. Yeah, very patriotic. Can you sing the Star Spangled Banner, Daisy? Actually, I can sing the Pledge of Allegiance in Latin. Okay. All right. This is the random pass.
- That's what we were looking for earlier. - Do it. - You do it for America baby. - Praise the Lord. That is great. - I love it. - Daisy, that was impressive.
I love it! Daisy with the shock value. Listen, do it for America. You make America great again by sucking that peanut butter off. Just so you know, my great-grandfather was a World War II leader. Really appreciated that. I'm with it. It's going to be okay. She rubbed my leg, but she went really high on my thigh. Yeah, she's trying to feel your eggplant.
Oh, shit. All right, baby. I tickle Tate's for free. All right, so should we get a pillow for Daisy's knees? Do we have one? Toss one over. A little bit. There you go, baby.
Haley puts in minimal effort. She does not care. Here's your pillow. Oh, you know what? Let's do something, though. Let's put that towel over it because if you get peanut butter on that, it's going to be way harder to clean. Oh, yeah. Good idea. Let's put one of those towels, one of those nice squirt towels all over. Oh, okay. We got to do it. You can bleach that faster than you can bleach this pillow. Yeah. I'll be like, Jen, sorry. I got to buy you. I owe you a pillow. Okay. So I'm just trying to make this peanut butter. All right.
Hold on. We got to get the timer out. We're just licking peanut butter off. Make it disappear all the way. Yes. Get as much off as you can. Get as much off as you can. Get messy. Get dirty. Do it all. You can lick and spit all you want, baby. That's what we're here for. No more talking. No more talking. Country. Five, four, three, two, one. Go. You got 30 seconds. Oh, man. She started off strong. Oh, she's clearing off some quick. Yeah. No, she got a lot off already. Get it. Get it.
Daisy, don't stop. Daisy, this is your fucking competition. You can win this one, Daisy. You got this. Daisy. Daisy. You got this, baby. Four, three, two, one. Time. Oh, shit. All right. Bring it over to us. This is actually harder than I think people think it is. Oh, yeah. She went to town. No, she didn't. You know, she's got streaks through there. Yeah. Look at it. I mean, you can see the little tongue tracks and everything, dude. Yeah, I think.
You came in strong. What do you guys think? I think I'm going to give Daisy a good one. I'm going to rate this as if it was my dick. Yep. Daisy, I'm going to give you an 80. Yeah, I think she came in strong. I'm giving her 82. I'm giving Daisy an 80. She gets an 80. All right. Carissa is coming in next, baby. 80 for sure. I give her 82. I gave her 88 miles per hour. She was making out with that thing. She was, oh. Because we're going, we're going. We don't need roads. Listen, I feel like that's.
I love it. Have you guys seen the cinnamon challenge? Yes. I feel like that's a little bit like that. That peanut butter, you're just like. I mean, who fucking can swallow powder like that, dude? That's crazy. I don't know. But listen, I love it. No hands? Just so you guys know, I'm turned on by peanut butter now. We've had to unlock a new fetish. I know. I feel like I'm going to fuck a Jiffy jar in a goddamn Costco. In Lydia's fucking organized pantry.
Don't talk about it. Don't talk about it. I don't get hard on this. Can we talk about this cute little asses up next? Can we talk about how strong they've been over there warming up their eggplants to get ready? Oh, yeah. The competition level is straight up American. These girls are fucking smart, dude. Lizzie just loves anything phallic. Yeah. I don't blame her. I really, I honestly don't blame her. Hot pussy warm this eggplant up.
Can we get a bunch of zoom in on country's face while this is happening because his face is gold. Yes. All right. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, baby. She was ready. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. They came with the cutest outfits too.
Come on, Carissa. Oh, shit. Oh, my God. She is getting it, dude. Oh, my God. She has facial in that motherfucker, dude. Oh, my God. Country, hold it together. You got to keep that dick straight. Look at Daisy's face. Look at Daisy. Look at Daisy's face. Daisy's like, fuck.
This is this is how I wish two girls one cup would have ended this is great you crushed that baby, oh
Look at this eggplant. She fucking cleaned it off, dude. You can see the tongue divots. I gave her a hundred. I gave Carissa a hundred. Just by holding that situation, I give it to that right there. That was a powerful blowjob. No, that was crazy. That would have been a powerful main event. She was making love. Making love to that thing. With aggression. The Black Black 9000.
I think this is a great score. Would you give it a 100? I give it a 100. 100? Nice. She fucking... Lydia, we saved the best for last, baby. You better bring your game. Yeah, me too. I'm a sensual sucker too.
You suck my dick upside down. You know what? But she does it with love. But he's so jealous. She's like, I wish I had a strap on right now. She does it with love, though. I like it. I like it. Jesus Christ. First of all, points for the outfit. Fire. Super cute. You guys all have so cute outfits. Yeah, you guys really came with it today. I'm so fucking proud of you guys. I love you guys. I love it. It's amazing. You guys are sweet. Yes. All right. Yeah, country, don't fuck this up.
Alright, Lydia is in position. Are we ready? Are we ready? See, it's sensual. She's staring into Country's eyes. Oh, he ain't making eye contact. Fix your head. Get your hat right. Looks like an old cowboy in a saloon.
Lydia go! Go Lydia go! Yeah! Get it! Oh she's keeping eye contact! She's holding eye contact the whole time just staring. Look at her ass though bent over. Oh my god it looks so good. It's nice. Oh it is so great. She's making some marks on this damn thing though. It is beautiful. I love this. Do you like how she looked back and gave us bedroom eyes? Oh shit!
I got a little wink. I'm excited. Yay. Okay, all right. Country. We need another plate. Country. Oh, wait. Country's team. Dick slapped her dog with an eggplant. I'm done.
I'm done. You need some milk? All right. Man, listen. She did great, but Carissa really fucking went in on that round, dude. I'm going to give her a 99. I'm giving her a 99 because the sensuality was on fire. Yeah, the sensuality was off the charts. It was insane. It's evident that there's a lot less there, and there's tongue grooves. I did 85. Nice. 85, baby. That's a good score.
I love it. Lydia, is this, is break up sex possible? It's a good, good Olympics. I like this. You're welcome. Thank you for putting this event on. Her answer was, if nobody else wants to, we don't. Is that what she said? That is awesome. She's the last man standing tonight.
That is funny. Listen, I'll wait my turn. Everything's fine. All right.
We are going to add up everybody's scores and find out who the winner is. All right, so we're just waiting on Haley to tally it up. Can we get pictures of these eggplants? They're like art. This one has tongue prints. This one looks like a Picasso painting. That was very smooth. I like that one. That one's got a very Jake Paul feel. So who do we pick? I feel like they all did so good. I think first, second, third. First, second, third. The rest of them really came out well.
She was strong energy. Yeah. And like, but Lydia is like my girlfriend. She just doesn't know it yet.
I feel like Karissa just brought the energy. She came with it, man. And like as far as, you know, hitting the point, she got double TDP'd that throat. Dude, that was mad. She pretty much TDP'd the pussy. Yeah. Oh, that thing was huge. It was great. Lydia squirted so hard. I think sometimes you gotta just let people be losers. Oh, so that's...
I'll put you up right now. Shit, for what? Ready? Tell them I'm serious about to go down. Alright, hold on. Ready? What is it for? Is the breakup sex happening right now? Who buys another person a car? Oh, I can't wait. I'm going to get you such a fucked up little woman. I'm excited. Let's go. Ready?
It's some weird shit. It's gonna be some weird shit you won't believe. Listen, if I don't know what true love is, it's that right there. All right, guys, we are back. We have tallied up the votes and all the judges' scorecards and stuff like that. So numbers do not lie. We're gonna start announcing the winners right now. Are you guys excited? Yes.
I love how they're holding hands right now. You guys are the best. It's an emotional moment. You guys are the best. All right. All right. The numbers are in. Okay, here we go. Ready? All right. Third place goes to Miss Daisy. Yeah, baby. She is getting crowned with a bronzed butt plug. Yes. Yeah, baby. Yes, baby.
Okay. I mean, if you want to get crowned that way, we can definitely do that. All right. Now you want to be a team player, Daisy. All right. Second place goes to Lydia. Yay! Yay!
Total score of 700. Yay! Lydia just got crowned with a platinum butt plug. Can we see your troll button? And the winner of the 2022 Whorelympics. Are you crying? She's crying. There she is. Miss America.
Oh yay! She gets a brand new fancy microwave. It's even a black and zekker. And you also get a $50 gift certificate to Chick-fil-A. I love you. Salt, pepper, peanut butter.
Carissa, how does it feel being the first 2022 winner of the Whorelympics? It feels incredible. I worked so hard for this moment. You really did, bitch. Years of my life, I have dedicated hours to this. And it finally has paid off in the best way. By penetration and goating. I love you. I love you.
Well done. Well done, baby. Well done. Well done. Where can everybody find you at? Okay. Only fans is Carissa did it. C-A-R-I-S-S-A did it. Yes, she did. Yes, she did, baby. I did do it. And my Instagram is Carissa dot did it. And my Twitter is Carissa did it. Yay. That's a queen right there, ladies and gentlemen. Lydia, my sex doll.
Okay. What are you doing? You have no idea the plans that she has for you. Okay. I do. I don't have a speech anymore. It's gone. Tell people your social where they can find you. Tell people where they can find you and, you know, look up your hot, skivvy stuff. Well, I just, I do want to say that. Congratulations. Aw. Congrats. And you guys are awesome. And so are you guys. Most of you. Ah, you are. Okay. The hundred dollar, million dollar question is, are you guys going to have breakup sex?
I guess you just have to subscribe and find out. You wanna break up again for break up sex? Subscribe and find out. Do you wanna be my girlfriend? Daisy, you're gonna get a damn chance. Hold on. This is Lydia's moment. Lydia, where can people find you, your socials and OF? My Instagram is TrippyLyd. T-R-I-P-P-Y-L-Y-D. My Twitter is ThirstTrip.
Thirst trip. I have 100 TikToks and my OnlyFans is OnlyFans.com slash Lydia Grace. Yay. That's a queen right there. All right, Daisy. It's all you, baby. First of all, I'd like to thank Bunny very much for inviting me. It was a really big blessing and you two girls are amazing. I'd like to thank the Riverside County Court System for making me not give a fuck. And then...
I think my Instagram is luck the system. Like it's fuck the system with an L. But other than that, I'm not, I don't know about the phone that much. Okay.
What about that's it you do you have an OF or anything? No, you should I do do I travel and dance I try not to keep myself affiliated with any groups. I feel like she's running from the cops Renegade right here. My name is Daisy. Yes. I'm
All right, you guys. Thank you guys so much. Riley, thank you so much. Why don't you tell people where they can find you, your podcast, everything? Yeah, you guys can always find me at downtherabithole.tv. The new YouTube channel is youtube.com slash rabbitholeTV. And the Patreon where you can get all the exclusive behind the scenes, all the dirty stuff.
is patreon.com slash down to rabbit hole TV. Yay. Or you can go to rileyrabbit.com and there's a link for everything. Oh, baby. I love it. I love Riley so much. Charlie, thank you so much. I'm so excited for your breakup sex. You have to ask me to hang out. Listen, I'm excited about the breakup sex. I want videos. Are you going to watch? Yes. We are.
We all want to watch it. Yes. Yes. As an option, yes. Yes, I do. I'm pretty easy. You can find me, Charlie Classic, on Instagram, Charlie Classic on OnlyFans. You can find my podcast, Total Chat Show Uncensored. You can also find my podcast on Spotify, Apple Music, all that good stuff. And that's pretty much it. You know?
I love it. Look up Charlie Classic. You'll find my dumb ass. Everybody knows the OG Charlie. All right, you guys. Thank you for tuning in to another episode of Don Blonde. I will see you guys next week. Bye.