Shownotes Transcript
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Okay, we got Larry David, one of our favorites that we've been trying to get for a little while, but of course we know he doesn't like to do anything. But he made it. He came to the house. Actually insisted on it. He drove in and we were very flattered. He's one of the guests we wanted to always get. Possibly the most influential comedian or best comedian of the last many years. But yeah, he had a great sense of humor. I do go off on a few bits. I apologize for that.
Yeah, I think the crowd will be just as happy as he was. He was laughing so hard. He's a great crowd. We touch on a lot of topics. Seinfeld, Curb, all the usual things. The usual suspects and some other stuff. We sort of jumped around, talked about the 50th, talked about the 40th. And talked about the 30th. And we talked about, oh, I did Curb and I walked you through the process. And
And overall, I think we ended on a real high note. He was laughing pretty hard. So that was a real victory. Enjoy. Enjoy the episode. Yeah, you'll see what happens. Always say no. Always say no. It's the best advice you could give anyone. Never agree. I was just talking to somebody the other day. They go, why did I say yes to this? Why did I say yes? Mm-hmm.
Everybody goes through that every day. Yeah. People cannot say no. It's so impossible. Well, if you're turning down a lot, it's a rhythm thing. No, no, no. But at least you're known as someone who says no. How many podcasts do you turn down in a year? 300. I don't want to. Over 1,000? Over 1,000. I don't want to sound immodest. 2,000? More than 1,000.
There is, listen, Nancy Reagan had it right. Just say no. And no one listened. Yeah, completely. She was right on a lot of it.
Drugs. Well. Can I do my Reagan? He got his Reagan in. By the way, I'll sit here for an hour and just listen to you. Well, I like this rhythm. I'll see if you like this rhythm. It's Reagan dealing with modern enemies, right? Who are they? What? Tell a who? Banny what? What they do? To who? Where? When? How? Why? Well, then we have no choice.
Fire away with everything we got and then call them and see if they're still there. There, that was it. I made Larry David laugh. I've got one for you that if you can do, I would just, I would ask you to do it every time I saw you. Okay. A younger Biden, not the old Biden. Oh.
a younger Biden with that Baltimore accent. I know, I know. That's very specific. You know that accent I'm talking about? They did it in that series. What was it called with Kate Winslet? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. This something...
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And they had that accent. He's got some of that. Right. This never doesn't get a laugh and stand up and I'll do it over and over again to the audience. No, I'm being serious. And I say to the audience, I will keep doing it until you don't laugh. I'm getting around here. See, you're so lucky that you can do that stuff. I don't have jokes. Well, I mean, if, if something you do isn't working,
then you just, you make them laugh again. You always have a laugh at your disposal. Most standups don't have that laugh at their disposal all the time. It's terrifying to go up. And if you don't have a go to something. Right. Dana's got great stuff. And also you can put a 10% joke and an impression in it.
It's worth 100%. And just ride the rhythm. I put on my notes, stay, stay here. Don't be in a hurry, stay here. If it says Ross Perot, you're gonna do him for- He does every president since Calvin Coolidge, he does and the crowd's like, "Ah!" Yeah, they freak out. But a young Biden, that's a challenge.
You do FDR? We, no, I'm doing JFK. We don't do it because, my bid on JFK now is that he needs an AI, Bobby needs an AI, that his voice will then go to JFK's voice.
Oh, Bobby's? Yeah, because we all sound like Bobby if we smoked pot in high school and be like, I can't believe what the pharmaceutical companies are doing. You know, introducing JFK AI. We understand that the pharmaceutical companies are doing. I'm just going to do this all afternoon. Come on. I'm thoroughly entertained. I would pay to sit here. I would pay to listen to this. Go ahead. See if you can say, we don't do it because it's easy. We do it because it's hard.
We're the right age group. Yeah. Crickets up here. Yes. So. So you're settled in. You said yes, you're here. Do you need anything? I'll open some water here. Yeah. We got you some of the high fancy water from your rider.
Has any human performer- How about those people who they want like grape jelly or something? Have you ever seen your writer? I don't know if you do a lot of standup. Have you ever seen your writer?
What are you demanding? Me neither. I feel like yours is a little below J-Lo, but above Chris Kattan. Let's see. I've had people in tears coming at me. I'm coming backstage for the gig. We only have three towels. Yeah. We couldn't find Triscuits.
I don't see my rider. I don't like to eat anything at all before I'm going on somewhere. Not even a little bit of chocolate? No, nothing. You still do stand-up? Do you go out and do like an hour? No, last year I did, you know, I was interviewed.
- On stage. - On stage, yeah. - Cha-ching. - One of like these bullshit things? - Yeah, yeah, something like this, yeah. - Yeah, that was the best though, because it's not really- - Yeah, it's not stand up. - It's not that hard. - Right. - Yeah. - Oh yeah, I heard, before the pandemic, Julie Louis-Straphis, remember her? You know her. She was doing interviews. - Check out the call sheet, you'll remember her. - She was doing interviews for corporate events. I thought, oh man, that's so nice. 20 minutes with the CEO.
Yeah. What's the question that makes you the happiest and what's the question that is annoying for you? I think I have an idea. I think now the most annoying question is, are you going to do another season? Yeah.
Oh, well, now that we're here. Did you just say yes at the end, meaning you're not, are you? I didn't know that your special was named Curb Your Enthusiasm. Is that true? Your standard special? Yeah, I saw it. And then you borrowed that. Yeah, you took that in. And was it 2000? Has it been around that long? Yeah. Mm-hmm. God dang. 2000. And you've had people on Curb that went on to be bigger stars. You actually got them early. Yeah.
Yeah? Who? I'm asking you. Me? Well, that's exciting. Well, I do have a Curve story for you. Yeah? You might have heard it because you were part of it, but...
Dana, I did this young man's show. It was one of the great fun things of life is to be on a show that's a fucking hit show everyone loves. Everyone's sensibility. Everyone in the future goes, oh, I want to do a show like Curb. That's the most common thing I hear. It's 10 times more complicated than they can probably think. It seems very easy, looks easy. I think the fun part when I did it was the idea was you, I don't know if you remember this, you did so many, but you wanted tickets to Laker games.
And you used to work at NBC. So you asked the president of NBC and they have two sets. This is, I think, true anyway. So they say, yes, give Larry two tickets. So you go with Jeff and you're in the rafters. And then you get the binoculars to see, oh, they have two sets of tickets. And then you go, who's on the floor where we wanted to be? And he's sitting with me. And so you're like, that motherfucker, why is Spade down there? And why are we up here? I fucking, I was on side. So anyway, we run into you guys leaving.
And the part that I thought was interesting, I didn't even tell Dana this, but it's like the way I got, the way I remember it was someone comes up to me and you, I think we have the forum or wherever it is. And I think that's how big of a production is. You have that, you have extras. We did some at a real game. I think we use those endeavor seats or whatever, William Morris. And then, so we were at the real game. And then afterwards we get a bunch of extras to stay and
And so we were leaving. So me and that president of NBC are leaving and Larry's coming out with Jeff and they come up to me and they go, you're going to run into him. So, uh, be apologetic, something like that. It was just an idea, no lines. And then they, I go, and what's Larry doing? They go, you'll find out. So then you guys decide what you want to do. Obviously you decide. And so we come in and we have like a five minute talk where I'm like, ah, sorry. Cause you're like, why would he be there? I'm like, I don't, I don't want to be a part of this, whatever, whatever.
Then they go cut and then they come back and I go, this one, defend yourself. And it's so funny because you have five seconds. So I'm like, well, whatever happens. And I don't know what you're going to do. And then you're like, why would he be there? I'm like, well, we both were on big shows. And you're like, well, I was on Seinfeld. I go, well, listen, we're both top 10 shows. We're both, it's kind of a push. And you're like, a push? Just shoot me was the same as, so anyway, it just makes for a fun, real, fake argument, whatever, whatever. And then they did like,
one or two more of different things. Was a blast. David? It's, um... It's very interesting, honestly, for people to know that because the hard part for Larry is to go in there and decide which is the funniest version, what line. That's just so complicated. The greatest part I love is when I can tell that you or the great Richard Lewis or Jeff Garlin, you're not sure you're doing a take.
because you're just talking and you might use it, you might not. I mean, it's the absolute opposite of a traditional. You know, Larry Sanders was the first that I had an experience like that. First of all, I never would have done a show if I had to memorize lines. Smart. It's too hard. I don't like it, and I'm not really an actor. Guilty. You have to be an actor to memorize lines. I suppose I could do it, but it wouldn't be fun.
Here, I'm kind of making it up as we're going along. And I don't know, it's just, I just left my way through 12 seasons. I know, it's infectious to watch. You know, the last 20 years, I don't think I've ever gone to any kind of meeting about any kind of show.
where it's gonna be like curb or we're thinking like a curb touch show. Has anyone even landed close to the sensibility and what is the secret? You don't have to tell us here. Yeah. Cut this part out. Tell us first. If there is like one secret. Tell us who's done it poorly first.
Who's doing it? I don't even know who's doing it. The only thing I can think of is Larry Sanders in the 90s had a sense of three cameras going at all times, 16 millimeters, and Gary would say, you do this, kind of, or say something like this, you know? Oh, did they improvise a lot? At least when I was there. But I don't think it was quite like yours where, like...
You're so improvised. Whatever you have, it's working. Don't even. Hey, are you going to do another season? I knew you were going to say that. Is there anybody you asked to do Curb that didn't do it? Like some star that you wanted? I think there were some people who were...
just weren't down with the idea of improvising. - Yeah. Some would like to do the lines. They'd be more comfortable. - Yeah, more comfortable. - It's hard to make lines your own. That's hard when you're doing shows and movies. That's why they sometimes feel stiff because if you can just play off what's happening at that second and the attitude, that's way more fun. It is hard to do though. - I mean, the worst thing that actors did on the show is if they would try to be funny.
Yeah. Are they coming going on funny? Trying to come up with like funny lines. Not, no. Yeah. The hardest part I've seen even on a, like for Adam and Sandler and those movies is a lot of people that come on that have never worked with them. First of all, proclaim their funniness, which is our always red flag. And then they come up and say, I had some ideas for the scene and it's for you to be the creator and they, and you can't blame anyone else.
and you have to say no. So when they come to you and go, Larry, I thought I'd play it more. I got a guy that talks like this and you gotta go, oh, fuck. Can you just don't do that? It's a hard position to be in. No, it's very easy. Okay. I was trying to help you a little bit. It's not hard at all. No, that's not good. Don't do that. I've got two. I wouldn't. And they slink away and go, fuck. Sometimes at auditions, actors would try and cry.
I go, oh God, no, stop, no, no. Oh man, two metrics now. Never have a line that's written that someone has to say. And don't anybody ever be caught trying to be funny unless the character is trying to be funny. Yeah, exactly. That's different, but none of that winking. It's a real Rubicon. You can really feel it in sitcoms when it's just pushed.
You did good. I'm just saying I'm a fan. The stuff that's played like in a wide shot is always good. Sometimes you get on a movie and they go weird. Dana and I talk about this. You get too locked into two shot, one shot, push in, push in, and you're losing all the momentum and all the fun of it. And it looks too stiff back forth. Sometimes it's nice. Those old Woody Allen or whatever, even Tarantino in a wide shot, just two people talking looks real. You've got to figure out where to look.
Instead of going, look here, look there, we got it, we got it. We've seen it. The Woody Allen thing is a little scary.
'Cause I did, I did. Oh, you did a couple. What was the name of that movie? It's called- A Couple, Dana. Yeah. Whatever, whatever. William. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, I did one. Once upon, he doesn't remember. And you know, because he does these take, you gotta get it all in one. And the whole take I'm going, "I got four more lines to go." I'm not comfortable at all because I, you can't make a mistake. There's no cutting. Yeah.
After my first take, the first day of filming, after the first take, he comes up to me and he goes, "Not terrible." And now I use that every time somebody asks me, "How are you doing?" I go, "Not terrible." - That's a good medium place to be. - Robert Mitchum told me that the guy who played Tarzan
Because Robert Mitchum was a guest host, he was the host at SNL. I go, "Hey, how you doing today?" He goes, "Worse." I go, "Worse? Why do you say worse?" Starts with worse. I think it was Lex Barr, some guy who played Tarzan. He came out of his trailer and said, "I feel great," and then did a header, you know? So ever since then, he just says, "Worse." I love that.
You know, Dana, I saw Mindy Kaling the other night at this little shindig and it made me think she does a masterclass, you know, that's one of our sponsors. And it reminded me masterclass can really help you. Like they have great people on there.
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It's great stuff. Yeah, they're great. I love the way they're laid out. They're all like eight, 10 minute videos. It's part of the class. Very simple. You see the person. Yeah. Develop your comedic voice. Mindy Kaling would actually be great at that. The classes make a difference. Get this, David. Just give me a second. 88% of members feel that Masterclass has made a positive impact on their lives. 88%. Very believable. Yeah.
You know, if I'm, if you want to learn something about pretty much anything, you just go on, on there and look around and say, it doesn't have to be about movies or anything like stupid stuff we do, but you know, you can say, I want to learn how to do this. Finance, pretty much everything in life, cooking, music, filmmaking, just pretty much everything. Plus every new membership comes with a 30 day money back guarantee. Don't wait another minute.
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Oh, you did Tough Guys. Is that the one? I did so much shit. I was so bad. I have a hall of fame. So bad. I can't say lines 175 times. Between all the takes and all the close-ups, and by four in the afternoon, you first said the lines at 7 a.m., and by five o'clock, it's not even English. Going in tight on Dana. You guys got some...
Heads of hair on you, the two of you, you know? Best hair money combined. When did you know, did you ever think like, oh, I'm going to have all of my hair for the rest of my life? Did that thought occur to you at some point? Yes. I had a pretty good head of hair. First of all, it went way up in these corners that are covered right now.
When I was in my 20s. So I went to a barber. He goes, you're going to be gone by 30. What? Really? Yeah, barber. He saw it going back. But it went back and then it stopped. Wow. Very rare. And then I do take a little finasteride.
What's that? I'm sorry? It's stuff that keeps your hair. Formaldehyde? What does that do? Keeps your hair in your head. Really? Yeah. Matthew McConaughey does it. All right, all right, all right, all right. Dude, I grew up with motor oil. Everything I could find, I threw in my hair, just trying every trick in the book. It's so horrible. Well, let me just explain that because we'll get letters, old-fashioned parlance. Go ahead. Dosage matters.
With any med you take. I had this woman, she was trying to do super vegan and she was amazing. She was 87. I go, you could have some salmon. Oh no, I can't. Well, I tried a statin and I had terrible side effects. Would you ever think of taking a lower dose?
Ask your doctor. So she lowered the dose, took her cholesterol down, no side effects. So the same thing with finasteride. People were popping it like candy. Then they had sexual side effects, depression. You just need a little bit to keep the hair in your head and it will grow hair. I don't get it. You had to give her that advice? The doctor couldn't tell her that? She couldn't read the back of the bottle. Doctors are not really, most of them are just high school seniors that have a lab coat on. They don't know anything, most of them. They're terrible. Hmm.
I mean, right? I mean, do you? What, doctors? Yeah. I still have great faith in them. Yeah, Dana. Interesting. Yeah. I look at you and hold it. They're doctors, Dana. Doctors. I know. I used to bow down. We were talking about to a contractor or a landscape architect. We'll put a big tree right in the middle of the grass. Why? Well, you need it. No, you don't. Well, you know, you can never have a doctor as a friend because you lose all confidence. You see, they're so human.
You're kind of stupid, actually, in life. Well, you can read the same stuff they're reading. You can read NIH. You can read Harvard, whatever. You can read everything the doctors read. You can? Why? Are you reading that? I do. I do. You do? A lot. If I have an issue with something, yeah, I'll look it up. I'm just saying over medical. Don't you ever research stuff? I don't want to read anything medical. It'll just scare me.
I never look at anything medical. When you do get this, when you go to the doctor, they talk about everything jokey except for what's wrong with you. Like they come in, how's it going? What's been going on? Have you been on the road? And I'm like, I've been sitting here for 49 minutes waiting and I know I've got a six minute window with you. Like, let's get to the stuff. And then they end the last second. Oh, right. Bend over and stick a finger in your ass. Okay. Sorry, I almost forgot that part. Did you ever do a prostate exam joke?
No. Yes. I didn't think you would. I thought you were talking to me. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, I for sure did. The cheesiest one that always gets, I don't do, I've never done one, I've never written one, but the one that made me laugh the most was Look Ma No Hands. Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, that's a stock joke. It wasn't mine. No, the joke that you try to bury into real life is when I was playing the Mirage, I go, David Copperfield was in the steam room. I milked out so long and they go, he was in the steam room? And I go, yeah. And he's sitting next to me, but his towel slid off. He was just sitting there weird. And he goes, hey, I go, can you do magic now that you have nothing here? And he goes, yeah. And I go, it's not real. And he goes,
All right, quickly. He goes, get up. He gets behind me and he goes, all right, do you feel my thumb in your ass? And I go, yeah. And he goes, ta-da. Ha ha.
It was sort of magic. That's funny. Did you ever do a Hitler joke? You do a lot of Hitler jokes. I'm not talking about the editorial, but just because everyone has a Hitler joke. What's your best Hitler joke? I did. I used to do one in stand up comedy.
It had to do with about Hitler going to a magic show. That's already funny. Anything Hitler does. And he goes backstage after and he's very insistent on finding out where the rabbit is.
And you know, magicians have a code. They can't tell how the tricks are done. And it was going, where's the rabbit? I'm very curious. Where's the rabbit? And he goes, well, my Fuhrer, you know, we're not really allowed to. It's a code amongst me. Yes, yes, yes. But where is the rabbit? It was something like that. I forgot the rest of it. Where was it? Did you do that in the 99 special? I did, yes. I remembered it. June?
Do you have a Hitler joke? You know, I don't think I have one because, oh, you know, I did have a book when I did my first book. Oh, a couple people remember? Thank you. I used a picture of me when I was five years old. My mom had me a little blue suit with white hair down to here. And it was a weird shot down on me in front of my old apartments. And I'm just standing so stiffly that I said, what if we called the book, Mr. Hitler, we'll see you now. Because I was like a five-year-old kid, looked like a little...
Arian and it got universally no. So, and I'm kind of glad because I sort of skim over stuff. I'm from Arizona. We were never into religion. We were never into many things that
could be very offensive. And so we joked about everything, racism, all this. So sometimes I would stumble in my act and say things too far and someone would pull me aside and say, I wouldn't say that anymore. And I wouldn't know how deep these things went or hit. And I'd be like, okay. So it took me a while. Even on that one, it was a little late in the game, but to even say I should do that. But
Hitler gets thrown around and it just, it offends too many people. I'm not Jewish. I did a Hitler bit. I was doing a benefit for Cedars-Sinai cardiology department and I did a Hitler bit. A guy had actually put a stent in my chest, goes, do you know where you are? You know? And I, do you want to hear it? Yeah, go. It's not a bit, it's an observation because I thought I don't have any original observation about Hitler. And then I thought of one and I want you to tell me you've never heard it before.
Hopefully, or you've heard it before. All we do is see Hitler throughout history screaming, "Ein und blutigen Sonne, woe leh!" We never see him talking normal. We do this for a living. He must be exhausted backstage, just wiped out, almost effeminate. "Oh Himmler, I can't feel my deltoid. Whoever said to do this, shoot him." He gets off stage and goes to the heads of the green room and he's like, "They were good."
They were pretty good. He's back to his normal voice. But just exhausted Hitler Langeris, good. He had a little roof off of him. Yeah, that's great. Don't fat shame yourself. I have a cookie. I eat it. I put the plate down. You have a good cookie. Your brain throws apart. You have a hundred cookies. So he breaks down, you know, addiction to carbohydrates. That's funny. Okay. Hitler's green room. What's on his rider? All right.
I look at my notes, there's literally no notes to ask anything. It's two. Go ahead, Dana. Whatever you got. Well, I know this will make you happy. Jalen Brunson. Brunson. Yeah. New York Knicks. Yes, yes. Right in the throes of it. Stephen A. Smith and LeBron. Who would win if they went, because...
We think we know, but Stephen A. Smith isn't tiny. I mean, I would get snapped in half by LeBron. Stephen A. Smith would get snapped in half. LeBron is a beast, man. It's unbelievable. What is he doing? I don't know. He's 40 years old. It's just incredible what he's doing. If I had that money, I think, and he's already like such a perfect specimen athlete. I don't know what I would do. I don't know what I would obviously pour it back into trying to stay alive top of the 100th.
I look at Brad Pitt and I go, I don't know what's going on, but if something, no one's going to get to regular Brad Pitt, he looks even better now. I'm like, fuck that. That's like cheating because he could have been fine skating along. And if he did the, I don't say he did because mostly just jealousy and anger. But, uh, if he did something, I'm flying to that guy and just saying, do whatever you got to do. Because someone told me on my comments, it looks like I slept on my face.
And those sting, Larry. You're supposed to let them go. Well, you look kind of the same. Yeah, you look like 45 years. Because when did your hair, but when did it go white? How old? It probably started in my, probably in my late 30s.
That was a joke. No, but Steve Martin, the same thing. He looks kind of the same. Steve Martin was like 12. I'm working on this baby face with bangs. I'm going to be 70 in a month. Keep the hair messy. Really? You're going to be 70 in a month? Yes. Thank you, Larry. Wow. For being surprised. He didn't even comment you at all. Isn't that a great compliment when people are surprised when you tell them your age? Yes. Yeah. It is. But when you tell them eventually you say I'm going to be 70 a month, they go, oh. And you're like, really?
Really? Just an O? Yeah. Can I get a really? Andy Samberg said, you're going to be 70? I go, thank you, Andy. Yeah, that's a great compliment. Okay, I have something you may not have heard before. Tell me if you have. Carol Leifer was on our show. Okay. And she talked about you and Jerry, the dynamic. And she said, you're John Lennon and-
And Jerry is Paul McCartney. Have you heard that before? You probably have heard it. I've heard it. It's quite ridiculous, but I've heard it, yeah. But then it makes you unpack it a little bit in your brain. Like, well, wait a minute. My Strawberry Fields and he's Penny Lane? Yeah, I would rather be out of those two. Both geniuses. Yeah. Not bad. Yeah, I think I have a feeling our dynamic was maybe...
not fraught with the friction that theirs was. So we didn't really have that idea. - Well, I asked Paul McCartney about it and he said, "Well, the difference was, you know, they were doing comedy and we were doing strumming and singing. So it's a different thing. The analogy doesn't quite fit, you know."
Larry David looks the same for the last 40 years. I go, I totally agree, Paul. Were you on CBS Radford a lot? Yeah. That's right. I think we were there at the same time, honestly. I think Just Shoot Me, Will and Grace. We were there up until 98. What was the call sheet? What was the order of the cast? I have no idea. Larry? Never looked at it. Tell me. You mean the Seinfeld call sheet?
Jerry, honest to God, I've never looked at it once. What do you think it was, Dana? I assume it'd have to be Jerry. And then we'll keep going. I mean, it's a good question. What's those four in a row? I never looked at it. Julie Louise Stryfus, number two. She was probably a bigger name, right? Well, Julie wasn't in the pilot. Jason was in the pilot. Oh, he might've inched ahead and leaned at the tape and got to number two. Yeah.
I was not an early adopter. I was being wined and dined by NBC to do the Letterman slot, Warren Littlefield.
and having lunch with him. You mean a talk show host? Yeah. You were gonna be a host on television. Yeah, I know, it seems amazing. It wouldn't work at all. This is my first. No, it'd be great. Well, maybe if you had David as the co-host, it might've worked. We would involve Andy Richter. No, but basically they said, you know, we have this new show. I think only four had been made or something.
It's called Seinfeld. We think it might be going to be really big. And they told me about it and who was in it. And I just thought to myself, oh boy, that's not going to happen. That doesn't sound like a winner. Yeah, I agree with that. Well, whatever I'm involved in, I never thought would work. So no, I thought it would be gone very quickly.
I was just doing it for the pilot. I would do a pilot, get paid for the pilot. Right. And then that would be it. Yeah. The chance of pilots going are so slim, especially-
And you're coming off SNL then? Was that SNL to that? SNL was 84, 85. How'd that go? Oh, swimmingly. Well, you made up for it. It just shows that you just don't know you need the right situation or whatever, because for you not to do great on that show, and then you go off and do, well, some people do that. They have trouble there and they go off and do great. I didn't really, it didn't really bother me that much. I got one sketch on.
Not great. For the season. Yeah. I got one sketch on. It reminded me a bit of a stand-up in a way when I'd be waiting to go on and then, I don't know, somebody famous would come in and I'd get bumped and bumped again. And I was actually glad I got bumped because I didn't want to go on anyway. I was happy not to go on. And so, I don't know, writers make such a big deal about
if their sketch was going to be, I didn't really care that much. Yeah. It didn't, it didn't really bother me. when I was there writing, all I cared about was getting picked up again for the next year because there's just no money. So I just don't want to look like an asshole. And they'd call Gervitz and Brad Gray and go, Lauren would go, I don't know. We may bring him back. So I'd have to get rid of my apartment. And every, every year I did that.
And then I, there wasn't DoorDash ladies. It was drag your part, you know, your mattress down the stairs and then you got to re-put your part. My apartment was literally a bed, a desk, anything I could just literally carry. And then two months later, we'll bring them back.
And then I'm like, so I got to go move back, find an apartment. It's so dumb, but they like to keep you on the edge of your seat there. So you didn't have Lauren. Lauren was not. Oh, you didn't have Lauren. No, I didn't have Lauren. Oh, I was just doing an impression. It was a 10 out of 10. Unfortunately, you didn't know.
Well, no, he's hosted twice. I knew you were doing Lorne. Yeah. It was a very subtle, you know. No, Dick Ebersole. It was too real. It's kind of a sporting event, someone said about SNL. It's rock and roll. It's loud. I mean, there are subtle. Jack Handy used to do his deep thoughts and there are subtle sketches. It's funny. But I think I heard that you and Jerry just said for sure at this point, we're just gonna do the show for ourselves. We're not gonna try to project what the network or even the audience will like.
That's what I felt that Seinfeld did. Yeah, that's what we did. I remember we went out to dinner very early on and I said, how are they letting us do this? I was shocked. Were the audiences biting on it though? It was in front of an audience. They were biting. So you thought, well, something's working here.
It seemed like it. Because when we were doing ours, I like to keep comparing like they're the exact same. When we were doing ours or any sitcom, they would do it and then it would get a medium laugh and then we liked it all week.
The people that we thought were funny to each other and then they go listen the you know The youth prisoners that they bust in for the show aren't biting on this one So let's dumb it down a little bit and then I go well Let's not wind up with the one that these guys like because we believed in these jokes And then they're scrambling and trying stuff on like then I don't even know what winds up on the show But you go you can't do that like it's better to have something where you just pick it and say this is our style and
This is our vibe. Like it or not. Well, it was new. And we've gone through Cheers, Mary Tyler Moore, MASH, all these brilliant sitcoms, half-hour shows. And all of a sudden, there's a show with a puffy jacket or a soup Nazi. It just was instantly a different sensibility when I saw it. And I saw at least 13 of them. I don't know how many I've seen. We didn't even know how to write a sitcom.
We'd never done it before. You didn't have bad habits. That's good. You didn't know how to do a bad one. And there was no writer's room. Oh, really? Yeah. We didn't have a writer's room. Who wrote? Well, we knew some SNL people that wrote on there, but I heard the idea was people would walk into a cold freezer room and then it was you sitting there in a chair in the dark and they would pitch. And?
I was always very nice. If you didn't like it, you would hear, shame! And they'd walk out. But they said it was, they make it more than it is. They probably, because they go, we'd have to wait and then we go in and pitch and then Larry would just shake us in. And they, you have a big laugh and so they loved it if they could make it. Oh, if you could laugh. If they could make Larry laugh in the pitch. I, I,
I was always very nice to everyone who came in. I could imagine. You're a good crowd right now. You're just, you're very open. When I see you out in the world, I don't see that much, but you always seem very loose and friendly and there's no people. I think people think of this curmudgeon thing that's like a little
Well, that's the character. No, that's me. This is the act. Do more people talk to you? What do they talk to you about in order? Is it Seinfeld or is it Curb or is it something else? Now? Yeah. Well, now it's Curb. It's just Curb all the time. It's Curb, Curb, Curb, Seinfeld. Curb, Curb, Seinfeld.
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Was Jerry ever, like, Jerry was being sort of a stoic, you know? He doesn't like people being neurotic and creating problems, because I've gotten to know him a little bit. I did comedians and cars and stuff. And so then I realized when he is abrupt about that, he's really slightly annoyed that someone would create a problem, you know, out of nothing. So he would just, I'd say, I don't know about my act, I don't, how do you write new jokes? Just write them! You know, he's like, you know? And
And at first I was like, is this guy aggressive? No, this is the way. He doesn't like neurotic comedians going, I don't want to play that club. Don't play it. I mean, does he like that with you? I mean, once I understood where he was coming from, we had him in here and it was, I totally got it. He does not like...
problems that don't need to exist. And he just, no. Yeah. I like, I like this stance when I said it, he doesn't do that many specials. And I said, all the comics now they do a special for an hour and then they have to throw away the material. And he goes, why do they have to throw it away? I go, I don't want to throw it. I go, I have stuff. It takes so long to sharpen it and get it to fucking work. And when I go on the road, they want to see a show that works.
I don't want to start from scratch. And he goes, listen, he talks to me like I'm a child. He goes, listen, don't throw it away. He goes, do the jokes at work. He goes, people think they have too many jokes that work. He said, when you boil it down, every great comic probably has an hour 15 in their whole career. That's just killers. And I think Leno's like that too. They just boil down to like, get what works and do it. And if some of them are great jokes,
It's like songs. I like that. I like when someone does something I like, especially a comic. I go, this is my favorite one. I'm glad they're doing it. I don't want to see because specials get watered down over time. And I'm like, ah, another one. What the fuck? What do you got left in the tank? There's two jokes of Jerry that still stick with me.
One was the moose gets lifted out of Alaska and it's up in the sky and it wakes up. And what does the moose think? I guess I can fly now. I just thought that was a great one. And then the eulogy one. You know the eulogy one. What's that one? The normal and fair human beings is public speaking. So at any funeral, the person giving the eulogy would rather be in the casket. It's a great joke. That's good. Yeah. So you had a great partner.
And he had a great partner. Yeah, we had a great time. Yeah. But you'll be remembered for Curb. My point is this. No, I don't know. Curb's 20 season. Do an impression. Do an impression. You did Bernie Sanders. Yeah. Okay. What's your memory of that? I just did Biden. Yeah. I don't know. So there was a debate in 2000. The election was 2016. Yeah.
And Bernie was running, Hillary was running. Yeah. So there was a debate. Mm-hmm. And then I think it was probably, I think the debate was 2015. Yeah. And I'd never, and so I'm, when Bernie Sanders started to talk. Mm-hmm.
Everything he was saying, I would repeat. I don't know if you ever do that. Sometimes. All of a sudden, because he sounded so familiar to me because we're both from Brooklyn. Right. That I was able in a way to just tap into the way he talked. Yeah. And he would say something and I would repeat it.
And then my agent called me when the debate was over just to talk about it. Ari Emanuel. He said, did you see that? I said, of course I saw it. What do you think? And he goes, okay, I'm calling Lorne Michaels. Perfect. Five minutes later, Lorne is on the phone with Ari and he's
That was on a Tuesday and on Saturday I'm doing the show. Oh, fun. So you had the 84 experience. Then all of a sudden 2015, you come on, you do Bernie and it is a smash. I mean, it's like, oh my God, of course, Larry David. And you killed. Must've been fun. It was fun. Yeah. Yeah. Because everything you said, you got a laugh. Yeah, it was fun. Yeah. Did you go to the 50th? You went to the 40th. You did a lot in the 40th, I thought.
I went to the 40th and I was in the audience and I did some bit in the audience. And the 50th, I went, but I didn't do anything. But I got sick at both of them. Okay, good. Even the COVID in 2015? In 2015, I got sick at the 40th and I was doing a play at the time and I
I had to do the play with like 102 temperature, you know? Ouch. Because you got to go on. It's so gross to be like, I got to go on and you feel bad. And then I got sick again at the 50th. Got the flu, I think. You know, something must be there. When I hosted last time, I got sick during dress. The worst fucking anxiety riddled time. In the middle of a sketch, they go, come on, come on. And I stood up, I was in like a UPS outfit. And I go...
And then I sat back down on the set and they go, come on. The band's like, you got 90 seconds. And I go, I don't feel good. And then I laid down on the floor and everyone's like, what the fuck is going on? So they walk me to the dressing room, put me in the bathroom. I lay on the floor and the audience is still there. Wow. So they, it was the last sketch. They just wrapped and then let him went out. And then they're pounding on the door going, and I hear him going, if he doesn't come out, we have, we're going to have to put a rerun on. We got to tell NBC.
And I'm laying on the floor sweating. I got, I don't know if I was food poisoning. Then I started barfing. And then I just sat there in my UPS uniform going, there could be more stress. Already you're sick. And everyone, including Lauren, is behind the door going, are we doing this? It's fine if we're not. We just have to. And so I finally get the door and I go, I mean, I can try. And then they go,
All right, let's pull the rerun. Let's just try it. Wow, I never heard that. I started to feel a little better, and I got some food in me, and I was like, I don't know what happened. I got the whammy, and then I did a good solid 70% I gave. The guy in the UPS sketch, the writer, I could see him in the back going, yeah, you're a real fucking hero. Because obviously that sketch got cut because I don't think I even finished it. You know what I mean? The thing about it, when I was doing it and I was sick, I was like,
And I remember thinking during the middle of it, I don't feel sick. I don't, something. Yeah, your adrenaline. Yeah, something. That's remarkable. I felt like Fraser in the 15th round last time I hosted, like, really? Now? Can I do this? And then the same thing. Just pass the applause, the laughs. I mean, were you hosting with good experiences or is it?
Not really. Yeah, it was okay. Did Lauren give you a thumbs up? I love it. What did Lauren say to you? Well, they invited me to do it again, so I guess it wasn't a total bum, but the hardest part was having to prepare a monologue. Yeah. Because I hadn't been on in a long time. I didn't expect the world from you. So I had to write a monologue and then...
do it in different clubs. Oh, you had to go out. Yeah, that was... That's a lot of work. Just do Q&A with the cast. Yeah, that's the trick. You singing would have been funny. Yeah. In a club, they go, we have a guest here, Larry David, and you walk up, so dogs are funny. And everyone's like, what's he doing? And then a half hour before the show at 11 o'clock, I was called up to Lauren's office and the censor was there.
Oh. And the censor said that I couldn't do this. I couldn't do this bit. Oh, at 11? Yeah, at 11 o'clock. Fuck off. And there are two bits they didn't want me to do. Oh, come on. Oh, please. And then...
Well, the other one, whatever. You know, I'm not going to. I'm going to do it. You're not going to do it? Well, you said you're going to do it. I said, no, I'm going to. Oh, you said you're going to do it. I said, yeah. I said, I can't. I have to do it. Well, you have nothing. And I go, why is it offensive? I don't get it. Who's going to be offended by this? Lorne, after five minutes of this, said, I can't do them. But he said, like, ha, ha, ha, ha.
He said to the censor, I don't think you're going to win this one. Oh, he said to the censor? He said that to the censor, yeah. I don't think you're going to win this one. Yeah, that's exactly it. Let's get Larry to make up. You can only take so much from a Larry David. We've wasted Larry's time enough. Let him go down. Check his celebrity net worth and you'll see that he truly is. You know, when I host a great story about me,
We can cut this out. We already did. No, when I hosted, Sandler was in my trick monologue. I'm only telling you this because it's similar to where
Uh, he's the audience member, but he's playing a goofy guy that he used to do. So he was there that weekend. He goes, I'll come and we'll do that. That'll be your monologue. So I can worry about the 13 sketches that are about to bomb. And so that morning, Saturday, they say, Adam goes, I got a water boy open that weekend big. And he had to fly back to LA and he goes, I can't do it, pal. I was like, oh shit.
So I couldn't cover it because it was his character. And I'm like, well, what's my monologue? And then we're like, okay, rehearsal. And I'm like, and going, guys, I got to get a monologue at one of the breaks. And they go, and everyone does just do standup. But I hadn't done it for a while. And I definitely hadn't done a club or anything. So there's no practice, which you need a little. Even when we were at the 50th,
I just did a set with Chris Rock and Nate Bregazzi just for fun because we were out having dinner. And they go, oh, Mulaney and Steve Martin and Martin Short were just here doing stand-up. They all came in. Everyone did a set. Just like everyone bumped. Super fun night. But I don't get to do that. So I just go, oh, I have this one in my act about a polar bear and about this other one. And then they go just do that. So the only time I rehearsed it was at dress or right before dress, you know, to try it. But
I couldn't really remember it all. Then I had to sit in my dressing room and go, how does that one go? So scary. It went all right, but I know the monologue. How come you didn't get them on cards? I got it. Oh, because I had to tell cards what to put. And I just said, just forget it. Just put monkey, joke, polar bear. Oh, okay. And go to a commercial when I started fucking...
I don't like standup either. I mean, honestly, if any time a show was canceled, I was happy. You're happy, right? But if I go up and I'm killing, I go, well, this is kind of fun, but I never want to go. And I don't like- I'm exactly the same way. I never want to be in a de facto comedy competition, go to the comedy store, there's 10 comics, I'm going to try new stuff. They're doing their A stuff, lean into it. And I just don't like the people, you were one of the best tonight. I mean, what do I need that for?
I'm just like you. Do you do corporates? Do they call you to come in? Uh-uh. They're fun. Somebody's got enough money. No, I don't get asked. Oh, yeah. Really? I'm going to talk to my people. Have you ever been in a headlock by another adult male as an adult? Because the CEO was drunk and had me at a corporate event. Hey, do the church lady fucking guy. It's funny you should ask me that because at the 50th, I was...
introduced to Paul McCartney and and I said to him has anyone ever no I said to him has anyone ever punched you in the mouth instead of hello we love all your albums I said let me ask you a question have you ever been hit in the face with a with a fist has anybody ever punched you that's fucking great and he must have loved it oh wait we were at dinner what did he say
Yeah, the dinner. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You were sitting right next to Paul. Yeah. You were hilarious. He was a good laugher too. Yeah. He was into it. I think he likes having these Gooseball comics. He's a charmer. What did he say after you said that? He just started laughing? No, there was an incident in his youth when he was like 13 or 14 and somebody head-butted him, he told me.
He's so charming. There's something on YouTube, you can look it up, but McCartney's going into a nightclub with people. This is like within five years in LA. The doorman doesn't recognize him. And they're like, no, you can't go. And then you hear Paul say, we've got to write more songs. We better go back to drawing, but we're not big enough. So anyway, I'm going to ask him. I was sitting next to Chris Rock and I came late and I felt embarrassed, but I was 100% not invited. I was
Chris, I was meeting for dinner and he goes, just come here. And then I realized I was crashing at dinner. He was invited to or something, whatever. So anyway, I went in, Paul was very nice. Whoever threw that thing, just like 10 people. But the funny part was I was sitting just where I could see kind of between you guys are on the same side as me. So I'm trying to crank my head between Chris and UNC Paul. And here you guys are.
and Larry's killing and then every time Paul gets to a story where he says something like I told you where he's like you know yesterday the way I came up with it was one night when I was dreaming the guy's like who had potato skins and then he leaves and I go and then he's putting this shit down he goes top off your water top off and I'm like I'm trying to and then he goes I go it's a quarter inch we're topped off and he's like I get a little more and then then he comes out and I go and he goes and that's how I came with yesterday and I go uh-huh then he goes the last thing John ever said to me
Hey, coconut shrimp, hot plate, hot plate. And I'm like, God damn, dude, I'm missing every, this thing I couldn't pay enough to hear Paul McCartney talk about this shit. The dichotomy between how humble and liver-puddling he is and the genius of the music is that we sat down here for a plonk, you know, John and I, like looking in the mirror. And that's how we came up with Abbey Road, you know. We just plonked. You know, it's like, what the fuck? What about Lennon? What would he say? Well, he said,
John would be more nasal. Cole was always one of those. Ringo's more like peace and love. They were me brothers. They're me brothers, me brothers. They're me brothers, peace and love. Can you say anything else? No, me brothers, me brothers, peace and love.
And there's a pose like this, and George is sort of like, and Gary is sort of laid back. You know, they were the primary songwriters for me. They were my brothers, you know. So anyway, I'm obsessed with it. This guy's too much. I'm just trying to make you laugh because you came, you drove 300 miles. That was easy.
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Do that Kim Kardashian one. What is that one? Kim Kardashian one? Oh, that's why I do John Lennon talking to Paul John from heaven, because I want to hear them talk, you know? And, you know, what happened to the big orange man, you know? Well, he's president again, but he was beat by another man, you know, named Joe Biden, you know? And he goes, wasn't he, what about, but didn't Kanye West, what happened to him? Well, he went...
flew away we don't know what happened to him you know was he with a woman named kim kardashian what wow she doing i'm doing the short version john knows a couple little things they talk regularly pop references well you know she's a nice gal you know well how does she make a living well she takes pictures of her bottom what's so special about her bottom it's not a normal bottom
It's a bottom 2.0. It's like God made a fanny and attached a person as an afterthought. The whole family has big bottoms. All of them are doing it. And if they fall on their backs, they're sort of like turtles. They can't get up again. They have to have turtle wranglers lift them up. The whole family's doing it. One gentleman got so frustrated, he became a woman. So that's a truncated version of it. You have a great sense of humor. Can you come back tomorrow?
Well, I love impressions. Me too. If I see someone. Yeah. Bill Hader was on my show and he was. Oh, he's so. Oh my God. Yeah. Did he do one of my bits? I think.
or Jimmy Stewart. He gave you credit. He did "Burton Kirk." Yeah. He gave you full credit. I know, I know. It was flattering how much he loves it 'cause I think he's absolutely brilliant, you know? But yeah, he loves that "Burton Kirk" thing too. I want you. I want you now. Now take it easy, son.
We're just two men having fun. Don't keep bucking around like that. I only got so much play down there. You keep bucking around like that. So great.
I want you. What are you going to do, cowboy? Come on, I'll take you. I do this for 20 minutes. I once had John Lovitz throw up in a parking garage because I'll do it for 20 minutes. Because he was laughing so hard? Because it goes on and on and on and on. Shit. Do I keep doing bits? No, we're doing good. I think maybe we wasted enough of his time. I mean, this is my current favorite. Do you want me to do it? Yeah, do one more. This is Jimmy Stewart, which I think Conan did it.
Trying to come up with a new Jimmy Stewart thing is that someone's gonna perform oral sex on him and he does it as Jimmy Stewart. Okay, so it's not X-rayed. Okay, I know this one too. Yeah, all right. No, no, no, don't touch it. No, just slow down. Now, I want you to slowly turn your head and look away.
Yeah, yeah, that's it. Just look away. Now, I want you to forget about it. Pretend you never saw it. Now, slowly but ever slowly, turn your head back around and discover it again. That's it. That's the look I want. Just discover it. Just consider it. Now, slowly. So that's my latest toy. That's just hilarious. I've never done this many bits on a show. That's so funny. Discover it and consider it.
Well, I have one where he leaves the house. Now, I'm going to go around the corner and get a soda pop, and I want you to forget all about it. You never saw it. Then I'm going to come back, and I want you to slowly turn and discover it again like it's brand new. Yeah. Yeah. No, no, don't touch it. Just think about it. Now, back the head up again. I'm going to back up and go out in the hallway. Okay.
So I'll just go for 20 minutes, but you're the greatest audience. Well, I love that's a good close. I do too. It should be your clothes. That's a great one. I'm going to, I'm going to edit these things together and release it as a special. So funny. Holy cow. Anything you need from us, Larry? All right. Oh no, I'm good. Thank you very much for coming here. You're, I, you're just an amazing guest. I don't know what to say. Uh,
- I did the best I could. - You did great. We all didn't wanna do this and we all did it. And I think I'm proud of us all. - Did you wanna go? Yes. That's all I do with Jerry. - How many podcasts are there? - Over 3 million. - Like over 3 million now? - No, honestly. - No, I think there's 3 million.
Does that seem too long? Sounds like a joke. There's three million podcasts in North America. I don't know. How does everyone do it? We Googled it and that was over three million. That was about a year ago. Most don't get past 30 episodes, so they come in and out, you know, but I don't know how. Greg, here's our producer. How do they...
It seems easy. It's kind of hard to do. Digital space is unlimited that we can all just, you know. It feels like the easiest thing in the world. So if you're an actor or if you're doing anything in showbiz and things are slow, you feel like you want to do something, you know, like, well. Right, right. And then it's like when people used to watch the Kardashians, they wanted a reality show. They go, hey, I argue. I hate my family too. I yell at them in the kitchen. I can do this show. So that's what they think. And then they go to podcasts and it's a little trickier and tougher and
a lot fizzle, but, uh, some stick around. It's, it's, it's a little bit to it. It's a new tech. So it's sort of like, you know, you do the talk show and you do the pre-interview and you have two minutes and they're cutting. So this is just like us hanging out. So it's this new art form of like shooting the rehearsal, doing half-baked stuff. We don't have a script. I had a few questions. Right. It's good to have a day. So it is fun. Um,
It can be fun just because of the freedom of it. Yeah, and it's great that you're doing it together. Yeah. I think, yeah, we get along really well. Yeah, it's easier. And then if someone else, whoever we got here, one of us knows something about something and
But we let them talk sometimes. We let you talk a little bit. Yeah, I said a couple of things. Feel free to cut me out of the whole thing. We don't need too much from you. Well, I'd say I watch you on Conan and I noticed this morning just and I said, oh, God, Larry loves to laugh. You know, you know, like you. You're like maybe the funniest guy. Whatever. Let's just say he's arguably the funniest person in the last half.
This generation, arguably. Last 300 years. You're in the conversation as the funniest person. So to make that guy laugh is just a pleasure. You heard the Conan, what, podcast? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And you guys are having such a good time. And I noticed, because I haven't hung out with you a lot. I just said, Larry loves to laugh. Yeah. You know, and so that's why I just thought I'd do a few things.
All right. Thanks, guys. By the way, when I did Curb, and this is the last thing I'll say, you had to cut some stuff out and you called me.
Cause very, it's very tough to call someone telling me how to cut something. So he told me, and the funniest part was I said, okay, well, I had a great time and thanks for putting me on there. And it was, and then you felt guilty and you go, now I feel bad. And I go, well, well, I understand it. And they go, are you being sarcastic? I go, no, I, I, I know that these shows go long and we ad lib forever. And if you've got to take some stuff out and you go,
All right, I'll try to put it back in. And I go, no, it's fine. And it turned into another episode because it was just funny to hear you feel bad that you had to call me, but it's hard to tell someone that. And a lot of people say, they never even told me. I'm like-
It's hard to tell people. It is what it is. If it gets cut, it gets cut. But that was nice. The people who would design Seinfeld and Curb would have all that kind of emotions because it's coming from all this humanism. Yeah, you're on both sides, but you know how it is. So that makes sense that you would suddenly feel bad because if you're a sensitive instrument. Well, once on Seinfeld, this guy I knew paid a lot of money to be an extra for charity. Mm-hmm. And-
I inadvertently cut him out of the show. And he had a party. He was going to have people over his house. Oh, my God. Yeah. Aye, aye, aye. Yeah. Brad fucked him. All right. Okay. Thanks, bud. This has been a presentation of Odyssey. Please follow, subscribe, leave a like, a review. All this stuff. Smash that button, whatever it is, wherever you get your podcasts.
Fly on the Wall is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss Berman of Odyssey, and Heather Santoro. The show's lead producer is Greg Holtzman.