Sebastian Maniscalco
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Just the fortitude of that. Is that true? That's what it said, episode 628. Yeah, haven't made a dime. It's coming. Our guys tell us it's coming right around the corner. Just patience, man. I mean, you know. Oh, you got into this for money? No, I actually didn't. We just started doing basically a phone call.

Uh, he's lives in Fredonia. I live in Los Angeles. And we're like, you know what? We have such a great time talking to one another. Let's just record it and we'll put it out there as a podcast. And we, we did it once a week for now going on 12 years.

And, you know, we just have fun doing it. It's not it's not women. Do you read ads? Do you read ads? Yeah. Yeah. We read ads and still make it nothing. I mean, we got you got master class. You got what do you got? You got a doc. You guys got Zach back.

We've been there. We dated for a while, then we broke up. We got- We sort of just, they ghosted us. Blue Nile, right? Blue Nile is our biggest one. Yeah, Blue Nile's good. That's a big one we got. Diamonds, yeah. So you got the original wife. Original wife, meaning pre- I never even heard of this situation.

My wife's so attractive that people thought she'd be the second wife after I got some fame and money. I go, no, original wife. Like, oh, okay. But you had done one special, but you weren't Sebastian at that point, right? You met 2009. Yeah, we met in 2009. I was just coming off a...

special two years earlier and then yeah just you know knocking around comedy clubs she would come with me Addison Beltline Road and improv and you know it was we kind of came up together in the comedy world obviously I was doing comedy prior to meeting her but like you know when I started making a living doing it she was kind of right there

with me. Let me ask you this. This is usually the evolution of a girlfriend who might become a wife, but okay. Early on, she's up close. Maybe not the first row, but right up there. A little few weeks later, she's hurt a lot. She's in the middle of the crowd, kind of hanging out. And then she's sort of standing in the back, uh,

Eventually she's in the dressing room for most of the show and asking you how it went. And then she stops coming. That's everyone I know. Every single, they're really excited. And then they see how the rabbit gets out of the hat and they're going, Oh, I see all these. But anyway, no, you're right. It's just, it's a basic evolution out of the building. Uh, yeah.

Call me after. What about, did you say Addison Improv? Is that Dallas? Yeah, that's Dallas. And it's right by a freeway. Is that what you're talking about? Yeah, it's right. It's, it's the most populated, um, restaurants per square mile, I think in the country on Beltline Road in Dallas. I played the Dallas. I played the old Dallas Improv that was on Central and Walnut. And then they opened Addison. That's how old I am. And then I started playing that one. And, uh,

Okay, wait a minute. Dana, go ahead. Spellbinders in Houston, anyone? Bill Hicks was my dandy little opener. No way. I was temperamental in those days. I got a hold of his collar and said, you ain't going nowhere, kid. Oh, good. I lost it. No, he was brilliant. Brilliant then, all to the way. So there's another stat of yours I just have to ask you because it's extraordinary. Extraordinary.

From where you are now. The math that I did on your Wikipedia page says you were still waitering, potentially, at age 32.

Yeah. Okay. That's extraordinary. I was waiting tables. Yeah. Around 31, I quit the Four Seasons Hotel right here in Beverly Hills. So I was there for seven years in the Windows Lounge delivering chicken satays to every celebrity in town. Oh, I love it. I love it. I would do comedy during my break.

I would run to the comedy store, do a set, and come back, pick up my table. So, yeah, I was early 30s schlepping drinks. Don't you think, I mean, you know, when you make it, and then you went on, and then you're at this apex. I mean, it's extraordinary. Well-deserved, too. So, don't you think it's better to make it later? I mean, are you still kind of used to it? It's only been about 12 years since you went supernova, I guess.

In the context of your life, it's still kind of new in a way, or are you kind of acclimatized to the numbers? What arena? How big is the arena? It's arena side. Come on, Sebastian. Go ahead.

No, you know, I'm glad it kind of all happened the way it happened. I just, you know, I had a slow burn. You know, I didn't get a TV show or a movie or anything like that that kind of catapulted me into stand-up comedy in a way where I could draw a crowd. So I just did it, you know, kind of slow burn and, you know,

Yeah, I mean, listen, I grew up in a working class, middle middle class family. And, you know, we've always kind of had to work

My dad always says the Maniscalco family, nothing comes easy. We always got to kind of be patient, put our time in. Did he actually say the Maniscalco? Because I can't imagine my dad saying the coffees will always. I mean, that's just very Italian or Sicilian or something, right? Yeah, it's very Sicilian. Like we always got to.

you know, wait our turn, basically. No one bumps us to the head of the line. You know, we're, I still have that type of career too, though. I mean, I have a fan base, obviously they come and see me, but like,

For example, I went to the Bulls game in my hometown of Chicago last week, right? Simone Biles sitting there with her husband, Jonathan Owens. And, you know, they put you up on the Jumbotron. So they tell me we're putting Simone Biles up, right? She goes up there. You would have thought Michael Jordan walked in. Oh, my God. You got to follow her. And then me, who I just I'm doing two sellout shows the Friday and Saturday right after that.

i didn't even know they announced my name it was almost as if a guy came out to shoot free throws during that's the response i got in my hometown so it's like i'm still like just on the fringe of like quote unquote celebrity or fame yeah you know there's fun things there's there's interesting facts that uh

Like Dane has probably been more famous in his life than he hasn't been. So that's, that's probably a weird feeling because you always remember more that you weren't, but he's had such a run. And then Artie Lang, who I think you guys all know, Artie Lang told me the weirdest he felt was when he made more than his dad. It was such a weird feeling for him that what he does, which is so feeling so trivial. And then he goes, wow, my dad's such a fucking hard worker.

And he goes, I honestly had to go to therapy. I didn't know how to deal with that. Isn't that crazy? But I get it. My dad was a high school teacher. So, Sebastian, your dad, was he somebody making six figures or 50K or...

Yeah, he's a hair... He owned hair salons, so he was a hairdresser. But, you know, never, you know, never had a franchise of hair salons. Just a few throughout his career. Not making a fantastic living, but not... You know, we went on one vacation. We had two cars. We lived in a nice home. Never struggled for money. But, yeah, I think it is...

kind of weird to get used to. I never really even thought about making more than my father. That never really even crossed my mind as far as like, it's never been like you're making more money. The relationship is such as like that, that he's the star. Right. Sure. And, and I'm, I'm hanging on to his coat. But also I grew up not knowing, you know, my dad was kind of in and out of my life, but never even knew how much anybody made. That didn't even cross your mind. You just,

you know, you had a place to live hopefully in some food and it, but I didn't know numbers. I didn't know who knew, you know? So you just, that's your dad and he's the main guy in your life because he's your dad. But it's a weird feeling to get, I mean, I, there's times I feel obviously overpaid for things and you go just a weird feeling. You never get used to it. I don't care. I mean, cause I had the same kind of thing, five kids, high school, you know,

Two day old baked goods, not one day, but two day. My mom would go Old County Road, never had a new car, but we were super happy, man. We got a colored TV in 1965. We had an antenna. We couldn't really see anything, but it was colorful. Antenna. But I think I asked my wife and I don't know who you would ask, but I always once in a while I'll ask her.

In 1979, when I met her, I was in college just trying to do open mics. Robin Williams was creeping around, making everyone feel like, why am I even doing this? And I said, did I ever say I wanted to be rich and famous? Ever. Nope. That was never the goal. It was to become a middle act. Me too. And then to become a headliner. I was just middle. Yeah. Yeah.

David, yeah, go ahead. Speak to that. I don't think the, I don't think the, the people that have talent and are in this just for the sheer joy of making people laugh are ever looking for fame and fortune in, in that way. I mean, obviously there's some outliers, but you know, in a day and age now where everybody wants to be famous for, I don't know what, I mean,

You know, I feel like we're kind of like the last of the Mohicans in the sense of where we actually had to work going to the club and

working on the act, the timing, the nuance, the heckling or whatever it is. But now apparently you turn your camera on and you eat a meatball and you'd say, you tell people how good it is. And all of a sudden, you know, you're, uh, you're just as famous as the guy. That's so demoralizing for the young people, because I talked to some talent managers a while back and I asked them, does talent matter? And they said, no, no.

They think in a long career it does, but no, no, no, no. There's a kid who opens, he's handsome. He opens up jars of pickles. He does seven figures. So what do you do with that? The impressive, if your kid goes, oh my God, the guy that drinks pickles just follows you. That's like the biggest victory of your life. You're like, oh. Everyone was good when I grew up. Don Rickles was good. Carson was good. Frank Sinatra. I mean, all great. But yeah, that's so distortive. So-

I don't want to go to my, go ahead. One second. Since you've been around entertainment for quite some time, have you guys ever run across a Sinatra? Do you have like a Sinatra story? Did he ever come in? I have a, I have a weird one. It's a little dark, but so it's nine. This is a cigar. No, it's, you're not going to see what's coming. So it's 1998. I'm getting a stent in my artery at Cedar Sinai.

Which, you know, it happens. I'm fine. Don't worry. So I'm there. I'm just in the, you know, I'm on the ward in my room reading a magazine and there's this hubbub, bub, bub. And hey, what's going on out there? He goes, Sinatra just checked in, you know.

And they put him in the room next to me. And so I was just listening. I heard under my breath. No, he didn't. But anyway, he passed away that night. It was May 8th or 10th, 1998. Not in my arms, but yeah. In my arms. Did you go in there and cuddle him?

I wanted to, man. I became an army issue hyper fan at age 40 before that I didn't get it. And then when I got it, I really got it, you know. But I did ask the cardiologist there, world class. I go, what was what was Frank Sinatra like as a patient?

And they were Indian. They're still friends of mine. They go, oh, it was very tough, you know, because you give them the thing to blow in and see what your lungs are. Hey, get back, doc. I'm going to blow this further than anybody's ever blown these bubbles in their fucking life, you know? So, I don't know. Do you have a snob story, David, or you, Sebastian? That's mine. No. No.

No, I never ran across him. Was your dad a super fan? No, I mean, we listened to him, but it wasn't like, you know, we didn't have a picture of him on the wall at the house. He was played on Saturday mornings while I was doing vacuuming, I remember.

I had to do chores on Saturday. My mother would play them around the house. But yeah, I don't know. I just find them fascinating. Like, I just, I don't know, like the old school type of guy. It's fun. Well, the Rat Pack at the Sands, the live album is magical, you know, and John Lovitz told me, John Lovitz plays it in before he goes on every night when he does clubs. He plays that to get that vibe of Sinatra and Dean Martin and

That that the coolness of that. But can I ask you a question? Because I'm just sort of curious just to put a picture on your childhood, you know, working class. How many siblings did you have? I have a sister younger about five years. And so what were I like asking people these questions, TV show or movie that floated your boat as you know, in the formative years, eight, 10, 11, 12 toy or bicycle you had that you'll never forget.

or musical act that you blew your mind coming up? You have five seconds. It was Three's Company. Three's Company. John Ritter is magic. Did you ever meet John Ritter? I never met John Ritter, but heavily influenced by my physical comedy with John Ritter.

a bike or do you say a toy toy he-man i grew up in the he-man era not stretch armstrong he-man was a big a big he-man doll i used to play football like with my he-man doll so it was like you know like we might have gone too far

He went in for five yards. And then an entertainer would be Michael Jackson growing up was my vibe. Can I tell you my Michael Jackson story? God dang. Is it the Holiday Inn? Yeah.

I worked at the Holiday Inn and I was a busboy waiter and the Jackson 5 came in and I would go and wait on them. You know, there was Tito and Marlon and I went in Michael's room before the show. He ordered raw carrots and Janet, I believe as a little girl was jumping up and down on the bed and he would sit and look at the mirror in the room. I give him the raw carrots and I felt bad later on because I know

I said, you're a good looking kid, but you can maybe do a little something. And I just backed off and left. Dana, that set off a whole thing with him. I know. But I did wait on because we were near the Circle Star Theater up in the Bay Area. It was a three thousand in the round. So I waited on Richard Pryor, George Carlin, Rich Little. I did room service to Little Richard. He answers the door completely naked.

Anyway, that's that part. That's another podcast. Can I ask you a little bit about your process? Yeah. Because once in a while I'd sit down on Netflix and I'd watch specials. Okay. And I usually last 15 minutes with David.

Like I said, I last about 15 minutes. David, I go longer. So I'm going through. I didn't know a thing about you. Never saw you. And it was the one with the Subway sandwich in the Cinnabon.

And I watched it all the way through and I said, holy shit, this is new. This is familiar, but completely brand new. It kind of, I mean, you must have gotten this from people over the years, right? When they first, because the physicality and the musicality together, uh,

was so potent to me. And the physicality is, it's not just all this. It's also, it's just a bond under your head. I mean, it's like, and then the rhythms, you know, the way you say people, people, people, like you're so exasperated. The guy's over by the pool clip and his toenails.

I mean, it's so hypnotic and I love it. And I recommended that special and others to our business manager loves you.

And two things. One. So then I went, I said, I showed you to my kids. I said, oh, this guy, you know, Sebastian. Then I said, let's find out where he was. So I watched you on Craig Ferguson doing stand up and it was all there, but it wasn't 2.0. It wasn't extrapolated, but everything was there. So the confidence leap happened.

was huge. So you have people tell you this, right? I mean, it's it's so potent. No one else is doing that even to this day.

your style. I just, I just really appreciate it. And do you pull muscles? Do you get hurt on stage? Cause Jim Brewer does. Okay. That's all I got to say. No, it was very, very sweet of you. I appreciate the cut. I like the way you put it, uh, describing kind of what happens up there. Um, physicality and musicality. Yeah. I never really heard it put that way, but, um, yeah, for me, as far as, uh,

I did comedy so much just to just to get good at it and familiar and talk about the confidence. You know, I noticed when I started moving a lot, people enjoyed that. And it was a bit of a surprise because maybe you wouldn't suspect it coming from a guy like I was just kind of up there. I was kind of dressed nice. And then I would do a.

whatever. And then I'm like, Oh wow, I'm getting some response here with the move. And then I guess what happens in a standup comedy, you just become, uh, you try to get as comfortable as you are just, uh,

talking like with your family. So that's kind of how I equated it too. Cause they would look at me on stage and go, you're much funny when you talk to us, you know? And I was like, well, you know, I got to get used to this. It's something that it's very new to me. And, uh, and yeah, for me, it's just basically storytelling and the act outs are, are kind of, um, just they're,

They're not practiced. It's just like, I'm going to go to the comic store tonight and I'm going to tell a story that happened to me and how I tell the story happens to come with a head bob or just been shocked. The one I don't know which special it was, but people just randomly ringing the doorbell. The act out on that was just huge. I mean, you're going in different rooms lying down. It was like a whole military operation. Yeah.

So I call it funny with the sound off. There's nothing more potent than if you look at I Love Lucy or Peter Sellers.

where there's, first of all, there's not one joke in your act verbally, but also that the act outs allow the audience to laugh crazy hard because they're not, they don't have to listen right at that moment. So then they're free. And so I just, it's a style that I just love. I think it's kind of a style that when I saw it at the store, I think I first saw it, uh, Sebastian just leaving, you know, you do a set and you're leaving and I go,

He was next, so I just sat in the back. Or I just walked in one night before I went on to who's on. I don't know everybody here. And same thing, Dana. I just thought it was very different. And I think it's kind of like maybe you're saying his stand-up in the old days was sort of, in a weird way, a cappella. And now you're adding strings and different things to it because movements and different things are taking, like,

bit that's funny and it's getting funnier there's little layers to it now so you're not so you have a bit that's already funny and now you're putting different stuff to it now it's elevating and now that's your whole style there's more going on in each bit than a regular stand-up I would say

That's what I, I, I, I drawn to the same stuff. It was already funny. And then he surprises with some moves. I think I, there was the Uber bit and there was the one about, about that was just funny to me. And then, and then when I see, I see, you know, it got into this other thing that we can get into where I just did a special, and this is more what this podcast is about. Um, I did a special and so what's the name of it? When does it come out? We don't know yet, but the thing about it is, and Sebastian's done a lot of these, um,

And the idea of, do you start from scratch and do a whole new hour? Or do you do a mixed bag? So for me, I just shot my special last week. And I'm still on tour. So that will come out after I'm done with the tour. So I'd like to...

give the crowd a new experience if I'm going to go on tour again. I mean, I think there's some, uh, some material that people enjoy that they want to hear. Right. Um, and I might throw a few of the older ones in, but I like to, you know, I don't know. I,

it's hard with comedians. I mean, I'm sure you guys run into it. The impressions that you do, people want to see the impressions or people want to see the. Totally. They, yeah. Yeah. You're like, all right, you know, I'll give you that, but like the hits, here's what, what do you got? Where's the brides groomsmen or whatever, that one where they come down and rehearse.

That one I always thought was funny because when I see you, sometimes I go, oh, I don't know what's coming out. And if I told my buddy, oh, there's an Uber bit, there's this bit. So those kind of things happen with me too. They go, oh, I came to see you and you didn't do. And I'm like, I know. I actually like to mix in some of my favorites and then, of course, do new stuff. And then there's that feeling of that was in the special episode.

do I do it when I go out again? I don't know. It's, it's back and forth. Well, here you guys, a little bit older than me. You, you, you didn't have like you, when you did, when you did something on TV or you did that just lived on TV. It's not like you went and go and like hold that clip back up again of the SNL sketch that you guys did. It's like, if you missed it,

You missed it. Yeah. And now it's all out there for everybody to see. So you do a special and it's like, I didn't even, I didn't have cable going up. So I didn't even see the damn HBO specials. And, and, and, and, and when I, it was like catching a unicorn, but now it's like you do, you do a special, they cut it up. It's all on clips on YouTube.

And then people come out and go, all right, well, yeah, we saw that. What are we paying, you know, $55 a ticket for? That's the big thing, yeah. When I saw that already on YouTube. So it's a challenge, I think, for comedians to kind of come up with equal to or greater than material that they have done previously. That's the challenge.

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25 language courses for the rest of your life. Redeem your 50% off at rosettastone.com slash flytoday for yourself or as a gift that keeps on giving. Ticket prices are a trip, right? Because I was said, oh, you know, I'm just trying to warm up. So I'll play this casino in Oroville.

And then I see the tickets are like $195. I got notes on stage. I'm working my old characters. It's a little bit like, guys, I'd rather take a little less and not feel that fucking pressure. Am I going to give you $195 worth of comedy? But I will observe one thing about you because you don't have any punchlines. It's a little bit like with me chopping broccoli. People still, I don't know if you've heard of it, but it's this goofy song.

And there was no joke in it. And so your bits have no joke. So it's like Monty Python or something, the rhythms and the physicality, you, you probably would enjoy some of your stuff more the second time. So I can see why you go, okay, I'm going to do this bit, maybe do an encore.

you know, Bill Regan, Brian Regan had to do that because he had some bits that were just so the people just wanted to hear him. And even before Twitter and tick tock, it's not jokes with surprise punchlines. Those kind of burn out those guys who do that style. That's hard. But anyway, you go ahead. Yeah, I think you're right. Sometimes it's just the way people do it. Like the chopping broccoli. Everybody could watch that over

And over again. I did have a question on the chopping broccoli. When you went chopping, you did a chopping broccoli. Was that all in the moment there or was that like...

I'd done it in the clubs. I think the first time I did it was at the improv on Melrose and that piano at midnight started it there. So I was doing it in the clubs for probably a couple of years. So that was just a good representation, but there's no way I'm knowing when I'm going to go, you know, but I knew that I was going to escalate it, but I didn't know what happened right at that moment. You know, it's probably the way you work, you know, you and me, you know,

Well, no, but it's yeah, you you kind of have an outline, but you're not totally sure. I know it's cold as ice paradise. And the feeling was so nice. He's a lady I know if I didn't know her, she'd be the lady I didn't know. You know, and then we get in. My lady went downtown. She bought some broccoli. And then there there I'm off. Once I get to chop broccoli, then anything could happen. Chop.

In the clubs, I'll do it for 10 minutes with a guitar. Yeah. When you did it on SNL, I've seen it, but I don't remember. I watched it for the first time a week ago. Did it kill or was it one of those ones that like coneheads, it doesn't do that well and then they do it again, then it kills because they're onto it. You know what I mean? They're like, oh, it takes them. Because sometimes those are just like,

Weird bits and then they stick with everybody and everyone's like oh shit that's great and you go you know it never killed because it's so new they haven't they don't even get it right away. It did build I mean the character I had to call it a character I used to do it just as myself I'd set it up as rock stars losing inspiration but Derek Stevens and then.

It sort of built after time, but it did well. It was at the end of my first show. But then I wrote a sketch later where Derek Stevens goes to his record company and they tell him that he has to die because they look at the record sales of Hendrix and Jim Morrison. That kind of killed the character, you know. But anyway, but back to our guests. Did you guys on SNL, I mean, do you look at other casts now?

after you guys have left and said, oh, do you compare like, oh, when we were there, it was the heyday or how do you guys like judge the show after you've been on it? It's something that you David. I start with thinking they're all bad.

And then I go from there. No, I don't know. No, it's, it's, we've, we've talked about this because we, we've talked to different generations, Garrett Morris and Lorraine Newman, and then we go newer cast. And it's always about the same situation where some of them are, some sketches are good and some don't work as well. And then there's some cast members that kind of pop out and some flatline. And that's just the way it's always been. I think we, I was lucky to have good people around me.

but that wasn't for sure known at the time. It was five years later, 10 years later that everyone kind of held up. I always think, you know what I mean? Um, I could have some memories of the seven years I had in there that was really went well and everything. But when I see other people like later on, like Sherry O'Terry, or if I see Will Ferrell and stuff like, okay, they're better than I was. That's how I go. I go, Bill Hader, Fred Armour's. Okay. There. Yeah. I'm not as good as, uh,

Kristen Wiig. I couldn't do that. I couldn't do that. I always look at the cast beyond my time lovingly and with a lot of admiration, you know, because like I didn't do that, you know, because it's kind of unlimited. You do what you do and then you leave the show. But, you know, it keeps being reinvented.

I mean, how do you, I'm just going to ask you, cause you didn't have cable and you're in the clubs. Like who were you, who were you looking at? And you didn't have telephone. You didn't have a landline or, you know, but who are you like George Carlin, George Carlin? Who were you looking at? It was anybody on Johnny Carson. So we would stay up and watch Johnny Carson. And I would be fascinated at when the comedian would come on back then. I think he got like seven or eight minutes, uh,

And I was like, just like, oh, wow, this is this is unbelievable. Plus, back then we would listen to records of. Yeah. Arlen or I would I would see cable on Saturday morning. I went over to my uncle's house to visit and he would tape all the comedians to watch. So I I that's kind of how I was introduced to stand up was I think first through through

the Tonight Show. So how old were you when you went to your uncle's house to look at the stand-ups to watch the Playboy Channel? This is eight. I was like seven, eight years old. Oh, so you got the bug early. You kind of, yeah. I was really, really fascinated with stand-up comedy from a young age. I just always thought it was...

I used to go to comedy clubs when I was 15, not to perform, just to watch. I had a fake ID. Me and my girlfriend would go and there's a little comedy club in Rosemont at the time. I even forget the name of it. And we used to sit in the back and I used to sit there and marvel at the comedian going, gee, how does he remember all this? Exactly. I had the same thing. And I'm like, are they just making this up? Like right now? They seem so confident. They're so smart. Yeah. Yeah.

Did you see Seinfeld on there? I remember seeing Seinfeld. I saw Leno on Carson. I saw Jeff Altman. There's just some that stuck out. George Miller, remember that was, is that on Letterman? Letterman's friend, George Miller. But that's funny because you see him and that's really it. And then you wait and see someone else on there. Rickles was always, as a kid, was the one who just made me laugh the hardest because

Cause again, no jokes at the show started a half hour ago, put them in the corner and give them a cookie. Hey, give them the program. I mean, and you, he had his tricks, but still he made it feel so spontaneous. And yeah, so I really enjoyed him in the Johnny Carson banter and the back. Also, I liked when the, the, the, the talk shows had people on the couch and

And you would come out and they would goof around with the girl next year, next year, everybody would be like having fun. And now it's like, you go out there and it's just you, you and the host. It would be nice to have the first guest sitting next to you. It's promotion and corporate greed. And, you know, that was just like, I mean, there's one online. There's so many online where Rickles is just next to Sinatra, you know, Vinnie Babongo called, you know, he just doing all these fake Italian names.

And Sinatra was dying. But yeah, that bygone era. Can I ask you this? Were you introverted, extroverted in the middle going through grade school? Or do you have years where you're kind of the king of the hill? Other years you were dormant? Shy, just shy kid, never class clown, just quiet, polite.

just observe the, the class client. I never liked the class clown. I always thought funny. Sorry, Dana. No, I was introverted as well, but when I was in fourth grade, I had a good year. I got kind of cocky, but fifth grade, I went, I went, I went dormant. No fourth grade. So I'm about, I was a shoplifter. I smoked cigarettes and I fought a lot of kids. I,

I fought. I was like, what happened? Your stock went down the next year. I don't know. You know, that's, that's the thing. What I was going to say about confidence, you know, is there's 99%. And then that last 1% is as big as the, as the previous 99. And I think that's where you got to at a given point. And,

And so the audience, when they sense that kind of confidence, like Dave Chappelle, when he's up there, you know, it's just like, that's at that high, high. And you're there too. It takes 22 minutes to light his cigarette. Everyone's like. I know. And it's mesmerizing. You're actually. It's funny. Yeah. You're waiting. You're actually, when you watch him, you hope that he likes you as an audience member. That's how powerful he is. But.

When you get to that level of confidence, that next, next wound down level, the audience is so comfortable. They're so relaxed that you have command up there.

And you got there. I don't know what year it was, but you got there and it's fun to watch. I've seen recent specials. I won't give names of big comics. I was one of them a few years back, but their eyes are kind of big and they're dancing for their dollars. They're a little sweaty and it's not their best set. And, you know, you want to feel like the guy's not shooting a special, you know. Yeah.

You know, Sebastian's good. Because the eyes get big, a bead of sweat, and it ain't funny all of a sudden. Go ahead, David. He's not afraid to keep it silent for a second. You know, like, I think I'm right when you... Oh, yeah. There's silence in mind. I'm scared they're going to yell. It's hard to sit there and be quiet and think of the next thing. I think Nate Bregazzi has good crowds where they wait. You know what I mean? They're well-behaved. And to get a crowd, it's so much more fun

to do throwaway jokes or to take a pause and then they go, but if you, I get rowdy sometimes. And so I can't leave that much. And I think I like when someone like Sebastian just stops for a second, then he goes on the next thing and you're like, I'm in this. So if you're good, if you get a good crowd, you can do it. Yeah. That's the biggest fear that I love the silence. It's just, you don't know what people are going to say or do or,

you know someone could yell out something because the audience feels sometimes maybe uncomfortable going are we supposed to talk now or are you do you forget something yeah they want you to keep fucking going they get uncomfortable they're like maybe this is the time he wants me to yell something stupid and they're right on cue you know you're in shape as a stand-up if you're up there

And you have a bit and it's killing and you just in the back of your head, you go, Oh my God, if this is killing, I got three stack right behind this. I can really relax now. Yeah. You know, that's a good place to be. A good crowd is great. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You gotta be, I mean, even, even sometimes you feel like, I don't know if you guys feel like you're doing a bit, maybe it's one of your favorite bits to do, but it doesn't come.

It comes in the middle. You put it in the middle, right? And then you feel like after that, you're like, the stuff that I got after this...

not going to be as good as what they just saw. Right. No, but you get, at least for me, I get so excited to do that. I got to move it up in the act. It keeps me kind of engaged. And then after that, for me, I feel like, oh man, it's a, it's a little bit of a letdown just to tell them these, these jokes, because I know they're not as good as what I just did. So, or, you know, or you get a weird crowd, not to interrupt you. I had this the other night there, they weren't,

They're either really biting on everything or you go, oh, they're not biting on this. This is dirty and they're not biting. And I'm like, oh, I'm looking at my list going, we got some dirty ones coming up toward the end. How do I get around these? Because why it's so hard on your feet to go. I got to move that up. I got to lose that. But I still got to do enough time because they are if they're not biting on this one, they're not going to like the next. You can just tell. I know. Get off it. Get off it.

It's such a psychological beating up there. You're like...

don't you find it fascinating that you're saying they're not biting on this meaning as as as an audience collect a whole group yeah like they all got together and go listen dirty we're not laughing at the dirty stuff tonight but it's fascinating for me is like how is it like everybody in the audience is not on board with this one particular one yep or they don't like the the super dry stuff like you can just come and have little musings that work like

Like I think the other night I go on and I go, hey, don't tell me what happened in the election. I taped it. Don't tell me who won. I taped it. And then I got a big laugh. Next night I do it, they're just staring at me. I'm like, what happened? What happened between last night and tonight? At a certain point, it's too late to do that. But for their two, three days there, and then I go, there's some throwaways in my act. They weren't

And they're like, we're not the throwaway crowd. Give us the fastballs. I'm like, fuck. And that's what you realize early on. And I go, I got an hour of this. My problem is if I too early get too jumpy and I just go out and I go, not gonna do it. I'm fucked because that's it. Some people leave after that. Or if I go party on, half the crowd goes, we got it. We got it. We heard it.

If I don't do anything else and then you do something else, I go, why are you doing something else? Why are you talking about anything but the church lay right now? I don't understand. Why? So you're ruining it. It's a good problem to have, but it's basically a greatest hits review. I might as well be at, you know, the Tropicana and Laughlin, you know,

little Dennis Miller slipped in. Oh, you got the way. I'll be at the Tropicana and Laughlin on November 18, 19. You got the Sebastian cat on the pod today, huh? That's a toddling cat, you know,

out there with the physicality works. It works. So, uh, what, another question besides, but we're going to get to, uh, your, all your credits, movies, TV shows. And he's like, please get to my credit. PR person's going nuts. When is he gonna mention the book? Is he gonna mention the book? We got a two hour podcast. Do you have to stretch before you go out? I mean, do you kind of, uh,

early on, no, but now I pop my calf a couple of times on stage. Of all things.

Which bit was it or what? I can't do the stealing home bit. It was just a pivot move. We were squatting. I went to go sprint from one side to the other as I went off my right leg. I'm like, wow, did I just break my leg? It doesn't take much. You have to be at least 30. So after that, it doesn't take a lot. You're like, what happened was I turned to grab the computer mouse

And everyone's like, and? And I go, that was it. I'm old enough that my toes will spasm during a set. Like, they just start going out and getting all rigid. And I gotta go, I go, what the fuck? That's painful. I can't put any weight on it. So I just go, nah, good.

I'm not going to step over here. I'm trying to stir up ticket sales on this podcast. I want to see you collapse. I'm going to your show. So did you have to ice it, rest it, massage it? It was okay? Yeah, I had to mention it to the crowd because that definitely hampered my movement. I had sciatica for two years and it really, really screwed with my acting. That's wicked, wicked shit.

I don't know if you guys have dealt with that. Does that go down your back, your leg or something? Yeah, it goes to the side of your leg, into your calf. Some people get it into their ankle and foot, but... Fuck that. It's irritating. I couldn't move. You know, it's hard to be funny when you're in like a lot of pain. So I had to really...

Work through that. And it's, it's gone now. I did a lot. He's to correct that. I tried everything. No shots. I was getting, I was doing cupping massage, whatever that was out there I was doing. And then I fell upon this LaGree Pilates and all of a sudden two months in. Wow. Yeah. My wife had it. Same, same thing. Pilates, all that kind of stuff. Could I ask you what special, uh,

When you were in Massive Pain, did you record? What was the name of that special when you were in pain? That was the last one. Is it me in the tuxedo? Really? No, I'm kidding. You probably decided not to record. What is your last one called? Is it me? Yeah. Or I thought it ain't right. No?

It ain't right is the tour. The tour. Yeah. Yeah. And then is it me? Yeah. Yeah. And how would you. What time is it? What time is it? I'm running out of special names. You have one called give it a rest.

Give him a rest. Mine's called Beep Bop Boop. I mean, they go, is this a real one? I'm like, I don't know. He had a special that even. Pencil it in. He had a special. He named it. The name was so nondescript that for two years in this podcast, neither of us could remember the name of his current special.

What was the name of it? They're always like either two words or just something kind of cutesy. No question. Aren't you embarrassed? What's wrong with people? Yeah. Get your facts straight. Oh, yeah. We got sciatica. It's...

You know, David, look, listen, this holiday season, surprise everyone on your list with the best gifts. All right. Tickets to see their, wait for it, favorite artists live. Yeah. Listen, I go to concerts, Live Nation. I've dealt with them on every concert.

They're always in the mix. I went to the Doobie Brothers. I think I went to the Eagles. Anybody that's, you know, along my lines. There's thousands. Yeah. Thousands of concerts. There's thousands. Metallica. They're in the comedy world too. Don't worry about that. We got a mix. We've got, you know, Dane Cook, who is on the show coming up. We've got

Mariah Carey, of course. It's Christmas. Perfect timing. Metallica, like you said. Rascal Flatts, our old buddies. Sebastian, who we just talked to. Sarah Silverman. Love, love, yeah. Trans-Siberian Orchestra. The list goes on and on. It's a cavalcade. Share a memory. It's a potpourri. Together. Give them a gift they'll never forget. Find the most exciting gift for every fan at livenation.com slash gifts.

That's livenation.com slash gifts. Yeah, livenation.com slash gifts. Blue Nile. Dana, I don't have to tell you about Blue Nile. I do not. You're the one guy I don't have to tell about Blue Nile, but I will. Yeah. Blue Nile. You will. This is the time of year Blue Nile blows up the hardest because if you're looking back at your amazing memories from 2024, maybe you're in love.

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Blue Nile is the original online jeweler since 1999. Did you know that? I actually recall that. But do you know, Dana, the only time we say each other's names is during these. Right. That's what's funny. They offer a diamond price guarantee, which means that in most cases they can meet or beat a competitor's price on a comparable diamond.

And you can feel great about the purchase because you got a great one and you got it for less. Yeah. The thing about Blue Nile, David, they're committed to ensuring that the highest ethical standards are observed when sourcing diamonds and jewelry. So you can feel great about that too. Yeah. Jewelry is a tough word. I don't know how to say it right. Blue Nile orders are insured.

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use code fly on my butt to get 20 off bidets at lux bidet.com that's l-u-x-e-b-i-d-e-t dot com yes lux bidet the better way to go if you name a special do you have to say the name in the act that's a great question i uh

You know, people go, I'll watch your special and give you a name. I'm like, you won't because there's not some running theme of like, I was abused by my father the whole special. Like, oh, I got one. You're like, no, it's just all goofy, dumb jokes and it makes no sense. So,

I'm going to have a special name. Like when I heard rock named his tambourine and I didn't get it at all, but I just liked that it was different and spelled different than, and then he said, when you're married, sometimes you're the lead. Sometimes you play the tambourine and let them shine. And I was like, Oh, okay. So it has some thought to it, you know? So I liked that, but I liked it anyway, cause it was just weird. And, uh,

And it's always fun to think of a name and then no one really cares. I had one good one and one terrible one. The good one was the 90s. I called it Critics' Choice with four stars. And I never talked about it on cable TV. It would come up on Comedy Central. Dana Carvey, Critics' Choice, four stars. My sister would call me and say, you got Critics' Choice again.

Then in 2016, I had an Irish nephew from Dublin. It's Stella Adler in Hollywood. And it was right when wokeness was coming in and they said this and this and this, but straight white males need not apply for some class. So,

He goes, man, you should name it that. You know, so I named him a stripe, straight white male 60. I don't know why, because some people said that's going to catch you. I would click on that, you know, and then I'm on the great late Norm McDonald's podcast. So I sound special. I mean, what was that title about? And he is a kind of has nothing to do with straight white male. Right. I don't know it.

nothing. There's no bit in there about it. It's completely just slapped on. I like that you confused Norm with that one. I did, I know. Other than me. Other than me, where's the bit about that, you know? I didn't understand. So we all love Norm, of course. Uh,

So I just threw that in, but in case people don't understand that, so we make fun of Norm all the time. We love Norm. I mean, I love to do them cause I'm visiting with him, but, uh, so the bookie is what your PRP, is that why you're on right now? Besides, besides on because he likes, he's a big fan. No, it's, uh,

I watched one of the, the first episode today. It was, it's very cool. I mean, you had Ray Romano on it, you know, and you were in that movie with him somewhere in Queens. Yeah. Yeah. So it's coming out in December, our second season. Yeah. I mean, the whole acting thing for me has been a struggle to kind of wrap my head around coming off, you know, standup comedy and getting that immediate gratification on stage. And,

and then all of a sudden you're acting and now it's, we're going to do that again, we're going to move the cameras and this and that. Just for me, it's like,

I get impatient. It's like, all right, come on. It's not really fun, is it? Unless it's documentary style. But if it's like, we're coming around, you know, we're moving in. Do you hate yourself when you start repeating the way you did a joke over and over on different takes? It makes me sick, to be honest.

I keep doing it and they go, do it again. I'm like, it's just, it's not funny. And they go, now do it again. This is the one we're probably going to use. I'm like, now it's 48 takes in. I've been giving it my all. Hi-ya, hey. And then I got to do it again. And the people across me are like, oh, so that was all planned, that little throwaway ad lib. I'm like, yes, you get it now. Sorry. Yeah.

But in your act, you do it once and you keep moving. Everyone's like, oh, hey. They do the master shot at 8 a.m., right? They do the bass shot, then a second or third master shot. But the time you get to the money shot on you, it's like eight, nine hours later. You've actually said the words over 200 times. It doesn't even sound like English at that point. Then the reviews, the comedian, the impressionist struggles with his acting skills. No, fucking get put back.

Do Larry David with me. Just shoot everything. Every second. One time to just bring it back to us. We were on a, when we did Tommy boy, Brian Dennehy came in to play, to play Farley's dad. We all love him from fucking true. Yeah. First blood or whatever. And so we were all excited. So we didn't realize, cause it was our first big movie or any movie. And that we were Pete, Pete, the director, who's a great guy. We love him, but,

To make sure, because we were new, I think Paramount told them, just make sure you get it. So we're doing 15 masters. Forget about the over the shoulder and then a two shot and then a over the wide shot and then a loose two close up. So that's what we're taking all day. And then Brian Dennehy after three takes of the masters. Yeah.

They go, all right, go again. He goes, what the fuck? What are we doing? What are we doing here? We got it. Go move on. Move on. I love it. We just did three. How many, we're going to be on this a second at the beginning and a second at the end of the thing. What are we doing? And I was like, are you allowed to say this? What's going on?

And then, because Farley gives it 1,010%. I give it about 64%. And so he's just so burned out and drinking coffee. And we're like, we haven't even pushed in for the stuff we're going to use. So he was sort of trying to protect us a little bit in a very loud voice. I had Robert Locha do that on a movie. Oh, that's another exact type. He goes up to the director, gets in his face. You're wearing out the actors.

You let him the fuck out and the director's like shriveling down. I did Roadhouse. Yeah. I played a piano with Tom Hanks, you fuck face. We shot Roadhouse in a day and a half. That's Patrick Swayze. Was Robert Locha in Roadhouse? I think he was a bad guy. Was he? Lived across the lake. Anyway, back to Sebastian. Sebastian. Bookie, bookie, bookie. The bookie on Max comes out December what?

12th. 12th. The second season. I'm sorry.

92% on Rotten Tomatoes. Good job. Whoops, excuse me. I've never gotten that much combined. Farewell, 88%. Farewell, 72%. No, that's a very loving amount to get. I have a movie on there that's 0.5%, I think. I'm not kidding. I have a movie that they go, this one, they go, it's good, your movie's...

almost fresh on Rotten Tomatoes. I go, am I buying something that's almost fresh? I mean, I think there's a better term. Almost fresh means it sucks. That means you're in the 40s. Yeah.

I think they trick me. I go, that's they go. That's good. I'm like, is it good for me or is it good? Is it good for society? Yeah. Jesus. All right. Well, Sebastian, thank you, bud. What else can I ask? I appreciate it. He's a good guy. I will see you at the store. He's a brilliant stand up. I think you're an excellent actor, by the way. I like watching you act. And and and you wrote a book. I don't know what you haven't done.

But, you know, just keep on keeping on. If we run into each other somewhere, sometime, what would you want me to say to you? I have a backstage economy store. What would you like me to say? Hey, Sebastian.

- We'll just pick it up right before we left off right here. We just go into the next question. - Start about the bookie and then just go from there. - Are you gonna run and tell your wife and kids, "They said I was really physical and musical." - Yeah, no, that's gonna be at the dinner table tonight. Do you know what they said about daddy? - You know what they said?

And you're picking them up, holding them. Anyway, it was so much fun to have you on here. And thanks for letting us blab. But yeah, keep on doing and just have fun, I guess. Enjoy yourself. I mean, it's... I am enjoying myself. And it was a pleasure talking to both of you, the two guys that I kind of grew up watching on TV. And, you know, sometimes it's like, you know, you got to wrap your head around these things. It's like, yeah...

Watching you as a kid, now we're doing a podcast together. Sometimes it's

you know plays with your head a little bit going i i told i had it with martin short and steve martin you know like really you consider me a peer or what is this where we're at now are you crazy you know but uh yeah i totally get that don't ever lose that you know and you're making a lot of people happy i know that sounds really corny but from where i'm at people need to laugh in life and so it's a good thing to it's a good stock and trade to do so

All right. All right, guys. Enjoy your holidays. Thank you. You too. This has been a presentation of Odyssey. Please follow, subscribe, leave a like, a review, all this stuff, smash that button, whatever it is, wherever you get your podcasts. Fly on the Wall is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss-Berman of Odyssey, and Heather Santoro. The show's lead producer is Greg Holtzman.