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Find it on auto trader. See it. Find it. Auto trader. We got to keep that in Dana. Did you know? Oh, fuck. What happened? You don't, you don't know where your banana is. God damn it. Look, I know what it is by the way. Banana gate was a big hit last week.
But I have better banana. I took pictures of my banana. You know what? I'll send them in. You know what? I'll send them in. So Heather, be ready. Guess what? I'll do it right after. New nickname for you. Potassium boy.
Potassium boy, how are you today? What's wrong with banana boy? Banana boy, all right. Potassium beat. God damn. Potassium. Well, because they're full of potassium. Yeah, I know, I know, I know. Okay, fun fact. That is not even why I eat them. Fun fact alert. Stallone, when he wanted to seem dumber as Rocky, he wouldn't eat any bananas.
And the lack of potassium will kind of lower his IQ. Fun fact. Jesus. But at first it was like, yo, Adrian, how you doing? No bananas for a month. Yo, Adrian. No bananas for two years. Then he just eat rocks. Can we just say something quickly about Sylvester Stallone? The guy's a genius. He's brilliant. So anyway, go ahead.
Should we show where the movie's staying alive, John Travolta walks out?
uh where he directs it or where he's beginning it's travolta it's the sequel stay alive stay alive and he's in the crowd in new york you know the same thing yeah he doesn't walk like this though i don't know what that's about potassium p he walks like this he walks he walks like john travolta he walks like a dancer
Yeah, he walks like a dancer. And in the crowd of New York, he bumps into a dude and you turn around and it's Stallone. Who was the director. He's doing a Hitchcock, if you get the reference. And then they say- And he's also, he looks more like he was in Cobra.
Cobra. Well, he's always jacked. They had a behind the scenes of BTS. I saw, I think on MTV years ago and Travolta in between takes. He's like, no, I'm going down the street like this and I'm bouncing around and then slide hits me and I turn, I don't see his face till the camera comes around. So I think you should change the shot. So long said you do it. You do. I do what I do. Rub a chicken capiche. Yeah.
You know what? This movie needs more Easter eggs. I love a good Easter egg. Yeah, Easter eggs equals... We did it in Greece. More Easter eggs makes for more box office, so I can get a fucking airplane. Taylor Swift has a lot of Easter eggs in her videos. We have to figure it out later, but that one's more obvious. I will say, I have a banana that looks like a...
Maybe an Ewok face. And I have a banana picture that looks like something else funny. I'm going to put them in and then we'll just pop them in while we talk. Okay. I have a question now. Yeah, go ahead. In the gross meter, when you're going to peel a fruit, and a lot of people don't know that an avocado is a piece of fruit.
If you open up that avocado and you see dark brown spots, do you kind of, or a banana looks good on the outside, mushy and brown, which one's more grotesque? Send us your letters. You know, I get this question a lot, Dana. I would say avocado, I'll cut out the black. I don't care. And a banana, I almost don't care about anything.
Um, if I, I really like avocados and if I get one, that's like not quite there. It, yeah, I don't, it's not good. I, it goes right in the trash. And I talked to Stallone about that. Cause yeah, if you open the avocado, it's got a lot of brown spots. You got to chuck it, rub a chicken. Capisce.
Some of the old BTSs from Rocky are he'd eat crack open 12 avocados and then try to slam them down and they wound up eating eggs. Yeah, they wound up with eggs, yeah. Potassium, Pete. They tried it with every fruit. I used to do a lot better. I got to work on it. I got to get warmed up with these impressions. People, don't send in your letters. But my Travolta was like this, you know, very much. Dana, this is...
This is a good time to bring up how on earth did we win an award last night with this garbage? Based on this last three and a half minutes is what. So anyway, we have an announcement to make. I'll let potassium Pete and or AKA David Spade. What happened, David, to our podcast? What happened? Well, apparently there's an I heart award for, they have an award ceremony every year, I think in Austin, Texas.
Not to be confused with ostentatious. They have an award for every or a lot of types of podcasts. And we were up for, which I don't think for sure I knew comedy podcast of the year. They have a lot of specific categories. Yes. And newscaster, serious news, political comedy, lifestyle, whatever. Yeah. Yeah.
But only one. We could name those. Yeah. So we were up against some good competition. I think Nikki Glaser, I think. Great. Maybe Rogan, maybe Call Her Daddy. Rogan the goat. Anyway, we won and it's very exciting. And we just heard that last night. And-
Shockingly. No, not that shockingly. We do a good job, I think. But all those are good. So it's just sort of the way it is. But I'll take it. I'll take whatever the situation is. I'll take it. Well, first of all, it's very old school because you would normally audio text me.
And actually, it was like 11 o'clock at night. Bum, bum, bum. Knock at the door. And they said, a telegram from Mr. David Spade. So I'm opening the telegram from you last night. Look, IHOP Radio, Comedy Podcast of the Year. Stop. You and David Spade. Congratulations. Stop. Stop. I'm telling you, this is the greatest podcast anyone's ever seen. Stop. You are the winner and champion. Tonight, you're on top of the world. Tomorrow, you may be nowhere. Stop.
And finally I stopped. And then I say, so now how do I send this? Do I pay you? Stop. And now I'm like, that wasn't supposed to be part of it. Well, it's just, I love that old fashioned 1920s thing. Telegram from Mr. Dan Agane from Mr. David Hineas Spade, also known as Potassium Pete. I'm working that one. But anyway, let's go back to the winning. Look,
It's always feels good. We, you know, it is kind of a small deal. That's actually kind of a big deal because, um,
They don't say you won comedy podcast. They add of the year, which gives it so much gravitas. It sounds so. And the winner of 20, 24 of a podcast of the year is fly on the wall. And that's why it seems so big of the year. It's funny at the Oscars. They don't say the best movie of the year. They just say best movie, right?
I think so. And look, we have a lot of- I like comparing it to the Oscars. Sorry, Conan. You killed it. You were great at the Oscars. Oh, boy. Oh. Happy winners are disgustingly gross in a turnoff. And then we're fans of all the people who didn't even get nominated. Shane Gillis, farewell. We're extra giddy today, which is kind of gross.
No, are we extra giddy? We're not taking it that seriously, are we? We're drinking the Kool-Aid. It's so sickening. There's nothing funnier than a bad winner, and we probably never win again. Oh, we're sickening. Sorry, Joe Rogan. I will say shout out to Bowen Yang because Bowen Yang and his won the best podcast of the whole year, of everybody. Of just any podcast. Of all categories. Just podcasts. Damn. Yeah.
He's a WeWorkTogether friend of the show. I've worked with him every 10 weeks. A great guy. Fee, fie, foe, fum. I smell an Emmy nomination. I think he's gotten four in a row. Omination. This is one I would tease my friend John Lovitz. Fee, fie, foe, fum. Whoops. Somebody got a nomination.
But it's an N and an M. I don't know. It's not exactly fitting perfectly. Are we really giddy, Greg? Or are we just punchy? Yeah, we're sick. I'm just punchy. You're punchy from your long gig you did on the weekend.
Right. And your big coffee cups you're trying to lift. God dang, look at that. Listen, it's not a big cup. Doesn't it look big? It does look giant in the frame, but where does it look back here? David, you don't know about ratio or photography. Look, look. I don't. And then I take a sip and it's up here. How do you have a small cup now? I don't know. But here, look, this spreads around. We have a lot of, look, everybody, all our peers are great. Of course, we're joking around.
We're very lucky to get it and it's an honor, but it's all over the world. Like our podcast is in Thailand and all over the world. And we have fans. Well, every podcast is all over the world. So there's a gentleman in Japan who I've done before and he's, he's very nice, but he lives, he's a fan in Japan and,
He lives in a very active seismic area of Japan. A lot of earthquakes over there, I heard. And he got a telegram, too. After you telegrammed me, I telegrammed him. And then he's reading it. And then an earthquake hits. You know? Whoa. Whoa.
Doesn't look too bad so far. That was more like a tremor, I feel. I don't know what's starting now. Jesus. And then it goes back to telegram. Can we do that? He's not even...
Well, we've done it a hundred times. Yeah, I think we can.
We can do it. We're going to... Look, I'll balance it. Don't get our award taken away immediately. By the way, we're still talking about the award. It's great. Okay, what does Red Redneckie say about it? This is a redneck and it gets an earthquake down in Mississippi. He sees, I can't believe Dan and Garney and David Spudler got the damn best comedy podcast of the year. That's good news, man. That's good news. He's talking to a friend and then all of a sudden,
What the model funk? They don't get earthquakes in Mississippi. I like that version. Okay. I could do every nationality, but there's something about a Japanese gentleman in an earthquake. So something about it. I like the people that are listening, like going, you're please still not talking about this award. Yes, we are.
Well, we're putting bits in between that we, you know. We're screaming at the rooftops. Are we too serious about this? Are we giddy about it? Look, we won the iHeart. Just to reiterate. Comedy podcast here. No one thought we'd win it. And we won it.
I don't care what anybody says. Sorry. I got it. I like when a best actor or actress will win the award at the Oscars and they go, and then toward the end of their speech, they go, and to my other fellow nominees, you're so good. Oh my God. You're not the best, but you're so good. You're so close. Yeah. And there's always next year.
And you really do a good job. You're not this, but you're... And I'm not... That's really good for you. I'll be honest, okay? I'm going to make a confession. I'd only seen Dune 2. I watched the Oscars because Conan was so great.
But I didn't know. And it was sort of weird when someone's greatest moment superstar, and it's like Barbara Fleekwo is now winning. Hi, my name's Barbara Fleek. I mean, I don't know. I'm Ed Klocknick, and I am the cinematographer. I just didn't know anybody, man. And the names were weird. Makes you feel either old or just out of it, where the only one I saw was a snorer.
Whoa. That was a little Hollywood minute dig. No, Nora. I haven't seen it. It did take me three times to get through it because the first half hour is like sex and a strip club and all this sounds great. But I kept going, if this is up for best movie, like where are we going with this? Where are we going? I think it had too much of a runway to get into it. It was just a long ramp up. And then it got more interesting second half, of course, but yeah,
Best movie of the year. I don't know. I thought Dune 2 was pretty cool. And I'm not really all over those type of movies. I thought it was very well done. I thought it was brilliant. And I'll tell you what. Look.
here's the deal you know it's no one here's the deal here's the oh not kidding around come on there you go i gotta want an oscar faster than anyone's ever i've won an officer in her life the winner goes to joe biden so uh oscar meyer had a wiener oscar meyer had a wiener dog with mustard and mustard and a good pickles on the dog of the wiener thank you joe no um
In not profound. Look, we have live streaming. We have a billion movies.
And it just dilutes the process. It's not anyone's fault. In my day in the 70s, you would have movie stars that you would never see anywhere except the Oscars. Nicholson, John Wayne would be there, Burt Lancaster, Cary Grant. Bob Redford. Everybody had seen the movie. Everyone had seen The Godfather, you know. Liz Taylor. Or Alien or whatever, Liz Taylor. So it's just a different kind of situation. Yeah, they're not all on fucking Snapchat.
Christ sakes, you know, I had a good... You don't get to see Robert Redford doing TikTok.
What is this? The winner won 2,100 people. Saw the people, the best picture of the year, Carfee? I will tell you this. This might be one of our stories, but Ignora. I'm not making fun of it. It's a pretty good movie. Did you name it Ignora? Was that your pun? Ignora? Ignora is better than I said Snora. Oh, Ignora. I didn't see Ignora. Ignora. Fucking, that's hot. I can't believe I topped you. You're the king of that stuff. Yeah, I like that one better. What else is there?
Huh? Oh, we do have a young lady in Busboys that I flirt with in the movie that had a part in Ignora. And we can make fun of Ignora because it won, so who cares? But she was great in... There's not many people in Ignora, if you've seen it. It's a small movie, small cast.
Not that many locations. That's why it was $6 million movie. But the girl that plays the competitive dancer in her club with the red hair is in Busboys. That's interesting, isn't it? That's interesting. I think it is. She's good. I liked that $6 million movie that's just real and cool, and I haven't seen it.
can win the Oscar. I mean, back in the day, you'd have these 300 million, like the Titanic when it's going down, by the way, I don't know why when it was going down and Rose and Jack DiCaprio and Heather, thanks. Thanks for clearing that up. Kate Winslet, Kate. So they, as they're going down the billion dollar movie, one of the greatest scenes in the history of film, when they ride the ship down,
They say before that for an hour, they call each other every second by their name. Rose, Rose, this way, Rose. Jack, where? This way. Come down here, Rose. Rose, Jack, Jack, Rose. You think by two hours into the movie, they would know each other's names. I don't say David every time I talk to you. No, you know what happens when you write a movie, and this is true, this is real. Inside baseball. You go away from a scene, you write it for a couple of days, you go to the next scene, and you're like,
Hey, Rose, can we... You forget. And then you realize you almost start every scene with someone saying the other one's name because you don't see it in a row. And then when you see it cut together, you're like, holy shit. No one says... Like when I'm with you, I barely call you Dana. It's just, you know what? We just talk. And in movies, you got to be careful. You say someone's name sometimes too much. Yeah, yeah. That's the point. And also screenwriters tip from a sometimes actor is
I don't like when I read a script and there's just my character has so many exclamation points. It's like, first thing I do is get rid of every exclamation point. Hello, exclamation point. How's it going? Explanation point. Or you yell in all caps. Everything is all caps. Yeah. All right. Let's Kanye this script down a bit. Now, what about this? I saw a rough cut of Titanic and it was temp sound because they didn't have all the money. Yeah. Okay, go ahead. Yeah.
And when the ship was going down, it was an hour of just, you hear, blub, blub, blub, blub, because he didn't have all the real noises in yet. Oh, funny. Blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub. It was just someone doing that, I guess. But it sounded real. But then they added like screaming later and actual good sounds. Just an insert and a callback to Bowen Yang. One of the ways that I first noticed how funny he was is when he played the iceberg and
That was hit by the ship from Titanic. That is a tie. How do you think I felt? That was just a funny take. It was a good bit. A very good bit. Also throwing back to Anora again, that one of the stories I read over the last week was it costs 6 million. And it was an interesting little tidbit that they spent 18 million on a Oscar push with advertising. So three times the budget.
You know, it's the way the way I mean, our but our advertising budget for this show is 27 million. I was going to say thirty nine dollars. We could go one way or the other. It's way much. It's one billion a year. And that's why winning comedy podcast the year full circle. I was going crazy that day because I I was had a gig and I had to send stuff ahead of time. And it's just too hard to put together. We don't have any time.
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We forgot to tell everybody to vote for. I don't know if we were 1,000% aware to say, hey, everybody, get on there and click. So that's even more shocking that we would get something done. Wait a minute. So it was open to just people that voted for it? I would imagine. Yeah.
I don't know. I don't know how people would vote, but we appreciate it. So we are very humbled and it's very nice that we got that. We will maybe stop talking about it now, but I think that's a lie. Well, no, I just heard, oh, we're getting a message. I don't think it was a voting thing. More like an academy, I think. Voters are chosen for cumulative performance. The plate, all the public is going to vote for it.
Hold on. We'll come back to this. Put a pin. By the way, I'm a fan of Bobby Kennedy Jr. because he's a shit disturber. And he looks cool. You watch him, you know, he walks into that chamber. He's a Kennedy. You know, he comes from that vibe. He's all tan. He's ripped, too. And he's ripped. And he has dissonia, which my brother has on his hand. It's just a rigidity in his vocal cords. And his voice is pretty cool. Hello.
I think big pharma, big pharma and the pharmaceutical companies in the big egg are poisoning our children. And I figure, why not get an AI JFK? So the translate, I'll use AI JFK. Commencing AI JFK. The big agriculture and the big farmers, they are indeed poisoning our children.
We criticize and we ask questions, not because it's easy, but because it's hard. Just the thought. I like it. Yeah. What about that? His voice. Sometimes the funniest thing is in the middle of that. You gave yourself a thumbs down. I don't know why. These bits aren't worked out. And I just thought.
I just like these non-status quo dudes like Bobby Kittredge. And I heard him on Rogan for three hours. Then I kind of got his whole thing. You know, people say his voice is a bit irritating, which is rude because it's an affliction. But he said if he did get this new appointment that he would, instead of giving speeches, he would set up a group chat with America. And then it would be less irritating. He would just talk and then we could all look and listen to it. I don't...
That's another bit, and it didn't seem to do that great. But that's funny. Some of these are undercooked. No, no, I was just thinking. That's funny. I thought you played it so straight, I thought, oh, group chat? I know, group chat. It sounds funny. He gets on WhatsApp. Join me on WhatsApp. But it doesn't really bother me. I think he does very well with it, and you get used to it. Let me go with AIJFK. Do-do.
Commencing AI JFK. I don't think my voice is a problem. I think I've presented very well with it. And I speak this way, not because it's easy, but because it's hard. Okay. We ran...
Well, I love doing JMK. You tweaked it up. You know where that reference is? We don't do it. Because it's easy, because it's hard. Yeah, that's from some famous speech. We need to go to the moon before the end of this decade. We don't do it because it's easy. We do it because you finish it. We don't fake the landing because it's easy. We fake it because it's hard.
We pretend to go to the moon, not because it's easy, because it takes technical difficulties. It's hard. We have actors. We have sets and props. We don't actually go to the moon, but we pretend that we go to the moon. That's Capricorn 10, I think. I don't know. All right, here we go. I love Capricorn. I heart is giving. Okay. Podcast winners in each category will be determined by a panel of blue ribbon podcast industry leaders, creatives, and visionaries.
I'm all three of those things. Each year, podcast fans help decide. At least that's what it says on my LinkedIn. Decide the winner. Oh, okay. They vote online. Okay. I heart podcast awards. All right. I just want to thank people for voting. Now we have a whole new thing.
I just can't believe that people... Okay, I'm doing Mark Pitta, by the way. Let's get... Should we get to the headlines or do we have any? Or do you have any more stories? I have one more. I'm working on Elon Musk and...
I don't really have it, but the fact that he talks very soft and lilting. And I think it's funny when Trump is sitting next to him and the tie is really long and Trump's just sitting listening to Elon. And the tie is touching the ground. Elon goes on for five minutes. So we can't afford it. The government is spending too much money. If we get the government spending down, the inflation will come down. And then they go, Mr. President, Trump goes, what are you shit?
what he said. He's a smart cookie. He's a smart cookie. He's a tough cookie. He's a tough cookie. He's a sweet cookie. He's a cookie crumble. He's a cookie monster. He's a chips ahoy. He's a Lorna Dune. Remember Lorna Dune? Everybody loves Lorna Dune. So that's my little ba-da-ba-ba-da-ba-ba.
I like that. That's your cookie run. It's a good one, actually. These are things I share on the podcast. Now that all these people voted for us, just as embryonic beginnings, I want them to come out on our podcast first and then later on talk shows. You know? Yeah. Okay. Anything about your gig on the weekend or no? I played a recreational vehicle park in Arizona. Okay.
It's called Bob's RV Park, and it was thousands of RVs and little houses. We got the best shitters in the greater Arizona area. By the way, the native son of Arizona is one David Potassium Pete Spade. So you came up. But yeah, here's the thing about that. They had like a theater.
A couple thousand people. They were the nicest audience. It was 55 and up, and they were the nicest, coolest audience. Tons of energy. So don't judge an RV park by its size. I didn't. You were a little. The winner, they would auction off an arrowhead. You know, when I'm in Arizona, we'd always find arrowheads in the ground.
Oh, that's kind of hip from the Native American population. That we took over, yeah, I guess, or whatever. Stole it more like. They used to hang out there. That's how I soften it a bit. Yeah, they would always be buzzing around there. Well, that's kind of my shtick. Why don't let's do things. I don't have any shticks about my week. I don't know, really. Where'd you play? What are you guys doing on Saturday? What are you doing on Saturday? Oh, that's right. What are you doing?
Oh, this Saturday we're going to Fantasy Springs. Tomorrow night. Fantasy Springs tomorrow. Well, it's actually closer to India. Not that anybody's counting, but it's near Palm Springs. You know, they're doing the Indian Wells Tennis Tournament. I wonder if it's on purpose that we're there during that.
Huh. Interesting. Well, it was the combine when we were playing Indianapolis. So maybe they're just booking sporting events and different things. Yeah. Knowing it would boost our ticket sales. Cause I was talking to Theo about maybe doing a show night before UFC events in cities because we have similar crowd, you know, and sometimes people get in the night before there's nothing to do.
But that's similar. That's whatever. It'll be fun. Fantasy Springs, it's a pretty big room, so we're excited to play it. And we hope to see you there. And we will report on it next week. Hold on. Commencing JFK Interface for David Spade. We are playing Fantasy Springs Casino.
And we feel that it's going to be a good show. We'd love to all see you there. We don't do it because it's easy. We do it because it's. Yeah, we don't drive all the way to Palm Springs because it's easy. We do it because it's a long way, but we will do it and bring the show hard and we will do sets of comedy. Then we will come out together, take questions and answers from the crowd.
DC scene, JFK interface. I'm not going to show the crowd my wiener because it's easy. I'm going to show you. Oh, you get it. Okay. That's so bad, it's brilliant. First story, ex-Olympic snowboarder Ryan Wedding among FBI's 10 most wanted for alleged role. This guy's an Olympic snowboarder, Heather.
He's tied into a $1 billion, he runs a billion dollar cocaine ring. Unless he got murked. Did anything happen to him? I don't know. I mean- Have you heard this story, Dana? He was in the Olympics. I did see it. And you know what? Most Olympic, I'm not forgiving what he's decided to make money as, but most Olympic athletes don't make that much money. A few do, so I'm not sure- Exactly, exactly. Mm-hmm.
I would be getting into this field. You know, Olympics are tough because I love them, but it's grueling all day training all your life. That's all you know for maybe a 10 second run. And if you don't do it perfectly, where are you? Do you do it four more years to the next Olympics? And what do you really, really, really get? Because afterwards, maybe you are
If you win the gold, maybe you're a coach. Maybe you go, where do you go? Because you've spent all your time, not in school, you're training to be the best of the best, which is a huge achievement. But after that, where is a huge payoff? It's like vets coming back. It's like you do it for your country, whatever country you're in. You come back and some countries really treat you well and some treat you medium. I'm not saying we don't. I'm saying America, I love Olympic athletes. I think it's great, but
I want them to have more rewards going on in the future because it's a tough gig. Yeah. I mean, for track and field, it's the most popular sport in the world for like a week every four years, but there's still the diamond league and other things. But yeah, the drama of it for us is so intense. It's fun for the crowd. Yeah. And then you, everyone knows that injuries or whatever there, they may not be there in four years. It's very hard to make the American track and field team, uh,
And this year, the winner was the closest of all time, .0003100ths of a second in the 100-meter dash. Noah Lyles. Just literally...
Oh, I remember that. Yeah. So, yeah, it makes it very dramatic. But I don't know. Most of them don't make a lot of money in track and field. Not like a baseball or basketball player. He averages two points a game and grabs a rebound. He plays six minutes a game, just signed a $78 million contract. But all good for athletes to get paid. That's because the NBA is...
Is really well run. Is there no salary cap or something? In the NBA, there's so much money. There is kind of rules like that, but they get well paid. And, you know, in the NFL, most players play four years and get out and run a car dealership. They're not all Travis Kelsey. Yeah.
They don't all start a cocaine cartel like this guy. Well, that guy, yeah, get out of that and get back to snowboarding, bitch. Okay. That's a good lesson. I don't know if he's busted or I guess. Well, I don't know why he went into cocaine, but he spent his life around white powder. So could be a connection there. I do think it comes hand in hand. Kevin Nealon has such a great joke about that. Okay. All right. What's the next story?
You'll have to go to Kevin and watch. Yeah. GOP outraged after trans singer. This is your Bernie impression, but there's some vulgar lyrics at one of his rallies, which I don't think he saw coming. Oh. Have you heard the lyrics? They're too rough to even read here. Oh, oh. And this is court of attacking...
Trump or something? Does your God have a big fat D word? Cause it feels like he's effing me. Does he shout, shoot wads of honey and don't even read it. It's while I'm, I'm editing it for the kids. There's a huge under 10, under 10 fan base or Sunday. I don't know. Yeah. Wow.
Thank you, Grace. He thanked Grace after. Thank you, Grace. So she gets booed off. He covers for it. She has the voice of an angel. The voice of an angel. Let's play it again. The voice of an angel. I'm Bernie Sanders and the millionaires and the billionaires.
are doing something all right we'll get off the story it's it's grosser than i thought i got to get my bernie i like when you go she's got the voice of an angel the voice of an angel okay here we go we're back to snl fun how much does a does an episode of snl cost do you want to guess dana do you know i would say three million dollars
Three million? Jesus Christ. Okay, let's see. A single episode of SNL costs way more than you think and that could be a problem when Lorne Michaels leaves. The average SNL episode has about 10 sketches and two musical performances. There are currently 17 cast members total and 300 people in the credits each week. So how much do you think all that costs?
A single episode of SNL costs $4 million to make. - Oh, you're pretty close. - Which comes out to about $100 million a season. It turns out making 80 wigs, 150 costumes, a dozen sets each week, not to mention Lauren's high fee and all the other 300 salaries adds up. But here's the thing, according to Vulture, SNL is still very valuable to NBC. It remains the highest rated entertainment show on network television in the 18 to 49 demo. The only broadcast that get better ratings are live sports. And because it's a legacy brand, NBC can charge a lot for its ads
and sponsorship deals. But on a recent episode of the Town podcast, industry insider Matt Bellany speculated that Lorne Michaels himself is holding the line on the show's budget because quote, "Everyone is afraid of Lorne Michaels," and that once he leaves, the budget is going to get slashed. Bellany quoted a prominent producer in this space who believes a million dollars can be cut from each episode.
that viewers wouldn't even know the difference. But one has to wonder if those cuts would significantly change the show. I don't worry about SNL without Lorne because I think there are a lot of capable people who could run it, but budget cuts could hollow the show out from the inside. Huh? 4 million. I said- How much does a host get? Three. No, 5,000 usually. 5,000 is good. It's just an honorarium because it's like you get paid
For the exposure and a cast member, you get paid for the exposure. But those sets, you know, and 300 people, the crew and all the different departments. Everybody's union. And just how about the real estate to be in Rockefeller Plaza with taking over all those floors and studios?
And yeah, there's a reason there's not a lot of SNLs around. It's so freaking hard. And the hair department, I mean, it's so nerve wracking because everything is last minute. And then you have to be top notch with a wig and a look. And, you know, it's just. And they have to have everything at their fingertips. Like if you say I need.
uh, this for this sketch and they can't leave the building. A lot of times, obviously they have to, but sometimes they dig in the back and find something, a prop, a wig, a piece of wardrobe. They put it all together under extraordinary pressure. And I, one cast member, I won't say who just went to a local, uh,
church and sort of prayed during the dinner time and then came back to do the show. So the pressure is so extreme. The fact that it's live, like that's what I love about it. For me, if a sketch isn't working, I find that interesting and kind of funny. I'm not rooting for it, but you're getting to see something not work quite the way they want. And believe me, I've been in a few of those turkeys. So I know what I'm talking about. I've been in a couple. When you're in the sketch, you're like,
What's going on? Why is this not work? And it's so horrible to try to finish it. And then you run off grabbing the other guy going, what happened? But you're already running into the next one. Well, the worst is if you do the dress show and it kind of works, you come out of 8-H and there's a page desk and all the people kind of hanging out right as you come out of 8-H in your costume, your makeup. Yeah. The dress show, you come out first time they've seen it full tilt. So they're, hey.
And if the air show's not as good, you come out, huh? And they kind of look down, check their phone. Humiliating. Actually, to get from the home base to the page desk through the doors is probably 15 seconds. So you're hot off the presses of being in front of millions of people. And then you walk right out and you're still like kind of flying high on adrenaline. And it's fun to see everyone high five or do something or say good job, especially if it worked. And then when it doesn't, it's...
And when you're in the cold opening, the only time that the studio is, you know, quiet, but everyone's ready to move. And I'm coming off the stage and I was going to just walk down the front steps off the main stage, but I decided last minute to jump. And as I was just jumping, there was a guy with a trolley coming toward me and I thought, fuck,
I may land on this moving trolley and break my back, you know, but I didn't. Sorry. I was a little, I was springy for my age. I jumped further than you are. Whoops. Heather was, Heather was really into that story. Then it ended with nothing. Well, in summary, nothing happened.
I leaped. Yeah, nothing happened. But for a second, in my head, I thought, holy shitsky. And then I said, up, up and away. And I jumped. But still, my point is you can really fall and get hit by cameras. And everything's crazy. I mean, once they say they're out at commercial, meaning you're still in camera, boom.
The light goes off from red. Yeah. They go, now you've got two minutes for next sketch. Everybody bolts. And so they're pushing props in, waiting for that millisecond, and they go.
Because that New York sketch we did with Pete and John Mulaney, we could not get it right. We kept running off while they pushed in tables and we were running into them. They kept going, cut. Spade, you guys go this way. They're coming this way. Got it. Ram into them again. They're like, you don't get it. What are you doing? And they pushed the hot dog vendor out, pushed us in. They put steam in the hot dogs.
fake steam and we just kept going we're so dumb and the first ad is so tough he's like a marine chris and it wasn't he's great he's funny but he he really uh he he rules that area because he he's responsible for safety doors open and they're opening doors for a sketch doors closed guys you got to go faster you got to go fast let's do it again yeah doors open
close so he has to run a tight ship he's the one we were a full hazard he said he knew we were all idiots
Yeah, he says five seconds for people who watch the show. Oh, he's the one that goes five seconds. Which was started by Joe Disco. Joe Dixo. But he does, I believe. Disco. Anyway, Joe. Dixo. Joe Dixo. Yeah, you know. You know him, you love him. The great. The great. The guy, yeah, started that, I believe. And Chris does a great job of it. And I'm sitting there and every time he goes five seconds, I can tell by the audience if it's going to be rocking or not. The way they respond to that. If they laugh or not, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. Next one. Spade is feisty. Lots of energy. Well, I do have energy and I do tell you, Dana, I'm running around all day doing lots of nothing, but I do a lot of it. And I do showbiz stuff. I'm your typical showbiz phony. You are busy. Yeah. What I do sometimes is I do eat a lot because I have a little bit of low blood sugar. You eat consistently. I do. That's a fair statement.
And I think people should anyway, but this Huel is a sponsor of ours. And so I didn't have it, but I got it, you know, because they're a new sponsor. And then I grabbed it on the way out one day because sometimes I just don't want to eat a full meal. I don't want to eat even a portion of our- Yeah. And it's just easier just to sip. Sometimes I even sip it on the show because-
It's easier. Anyway, it's got 35 grams of protein, 27 vitamins and minerals. It's low on sugar. It's all in a bottle. It's very handy. Huel is a global complete nutrition brand. It's got 500 meals sold. So basically, it's easy to run and gun with it. So it tastes good. And new customers shopping at Huel.com can try it for 15% off.
plus a free gift using my code not yours fly at huel.com that's h-u-e-l dash um but yeah so that's the one i think mine is chocolate i think but they have yeah heather says yes so
It's great. I mean, I think if you're busy and you need a balanced meal and you got to start to travel, go drive, this is the go-to, the Huel Black Edition. Yeah, there's no cooking. There's no heating it up. Nope. There's no...
You know, you get a little hang. It just, it sort of evens me out. Just go, go, go. And then I do my jumping jacks or whatever I do. This is you having Huel Black Edition. Oh, yeah. Thanks, Heather. Acting it out. And then here's me leaving the house. What?
No, Huel is a perfectly balanced meal. Yeah, join the community of Hueligans with the exclusive offer for new customers.
of 15% plus a free gift. Exclusive code fly at Huel.com. That's 15% plus a free gift for new customers using my exclusive code fly at Huel.com. Unlock a healthier, easier way to eat with Huel. Nutritionally complete meals in minutes so you can focus on what really matters, showbiz. You know what's an important thing, David, in life? And I don't know if you know this, but life insurance, you know?
Ethos. We got a good one here. Listen, life insurance is something everyone kind of thinks about, but you got to act. You got to make moves. You think it's maybe too expensive. You think it's a hassle. You just have to do it.
These guys make it as easy as it could be. You know what I mean? Because you never know what's going to happen. That's the thing. And it's a loving thing to do for your family is to take out life insurance. And this is a way to do that without it being, like you said, a giant hassle. It's easy to use. And they share how life insurance can protect your family, those you care about. Right.
Listen, these companies, I've tried this where you try to get life insurance. It's so complicated, but let me, but, but with these guys, I think they saw that and they said, let's take out the confusion. Let's take out the tedious process. Yes. And they made, Ethos has made securing life insurance policies up to 3 million as smooth and as fast as possible. You know, you can apply for affordable life insurance quickly, easily online, but
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Whoa, that's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash fly to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash fly. What is this story?
Is this a new trend? I don't know what it is. There's officially a new trend. These are all dumb, but let's see. Going on a first date. There's officially a new trend where women are completely coating themselves with full body glitter before first dates. Why? For the express purpose of outing taken or married men who may be going home to another woman.
They're calling it divorce dust. Apparently in a world where not everyone has joined their local are we dating the same guy group, women felt the need to get a little bit more creative. And apparently it's working, allowing glitter to truly live up to its scientific name, the herpes of crafts. One woman
One woman says, that's actually how I caught my ex-husband cheating. I don't wear glitter, but the other girl did. I knew immediately. So glitter's hard to get it off. I can't tell if I'm just delusively or have a super artistic husband, but that would not be enough of a smoking gun. In the old days, if I'd go to a strip club, also known as a dance club, or go see the peelers where they peel their clothes off. If you go to the peelers,
and they have glitter on, my friend would say I would take my shirt and put it at the bottom of the hamper because it's got to get blended in and get the glitter off because that's the first sign of trouble. And so that's probably an interesting, schemey way to find out if some guy's married. And if they are, that's shitty. So, hey, listen, every trick in the book, whatever it takes. I don't know who the new James Bond. What?
I do like flushing them out of the brush because you get them caught. So it's their fault. So he touches the woman who's covered in glitter. It gets all over him. Then he goes home to his wife. Hi, honey. She sees the glitter and all hail breaks loose. And they're like, Dana wore a lot of glitter today. I just kind of rubbed up against him.
Sometimes, and some husbands in Washington, D.C., they will get glittered up and they know it's a problem. So they hire Senator John Kennedy to come in and sort of defend them to the wife. That's a good setup. Yeah.
We went around a long way. We got there. I love it. You are accusing your husband. Let me get, let me make sure I get it right here. Get my notes here. My notes. You are accusing your husbands of infidelity because of some glitter. Have you ever heard of a five and dime store?
They sell glitter, don't they? And that is where your husband is. Just simple yes or no. Simple yes or no. Your words, not mine.
No, there's extra. I don't know. I just threw him in. I think Johnny Carson comes home to his wife, 1972. Oh, sorry, Johnny. I didn't know I had glitter on me. Ed McMahon had a vomitorium drink and boom, boom. Vomitorium. He had a vomitorium with a twist. I told you earlier, we had a pinata full of glitter today to celebrate our anniversary.
One millionth episode. I'm sure it's in your iCal. I will say this. They should use it in combat because if you get...
If it comes down the glitter at some award or somewhere, you can never get all of it out. See, that's what they're counting on. So I give kudos to those women for... And you know, how about not dating losers? Just a question mark. Yeah, how about not dating married guys? But the married guys don't say it, in fairness. And also, if you pick up your date and she's covering glitter, you just go, okay, we're just going to do fist bumps tonight. All right, let's move on, even though this is...
Glitter was also the name of a Mariah Carey movie. I don't know if you remember. You should go home and say. Okay, go ahead. Listen, we covered politics. We cover, we do everything here. Yeah. Sports, SNL, and now here's science. Doctors look inside your head with these new glasses. In real time. Wow. Detailed images of your brain. Wow. Wow.
I can read that. This system increases the precision of brain tumor removal. Whoa. Whoa. I love it. I mean, you know, because I came from Star Trek. So weird. Remember Star Trek? Yes. I'm pretty young, but I do remember. I've heard about it. Bones, the doctor, would just have a thing. It'd make a sound. He'd wave it over. Bones.
Can't believe you can see in her brain. Bones, bones. I can't believe your temperature is 98.6. Jim. That's normal. She has a cerebral hemorrhage. The future arrives in slow motion and all at once. And I...
Can't believe it. Otherwise, hands went up. Spock, you can operate on my brain. Just make sure I can still think about the strip club. Oh, we won't be touching that part of your brain, sir. I watched William Shatner last night in Deep Space Nine. They did a mashup. You did? William Shatner from the 60s in Star Trek was in the future at Deep Space Nine. And I...
Couldn't believe it. He was great. I love that guy, man. Can we have William Shatner back on our podcast? We had him on Fly on the Wall. What did you say, Heather? Oh, yeah. He's on Fly on the Wall, a subsidiary of Fly on the Wall. He's probably...
The most curious guests we ever had. Like he initially... I'm curious. Do you guys feel the need to be on all the time? That was the first thing he thought of. I have the need, the need for speed. What's that?
I believe what he said. He said the script was kind of stilted and boring, so you had to make all his lines. That's why he would pivot and talk like that. Well, back to seven. He just made up this rhythm, and it was genius. You just can't ever, you know. He was great. And Leonard Nimoy, I mean, come on. Leonard Nimoy? Nimoy. Nimoy, I haven't heard that. Okay, go ahead.
Anymore? I should wrap it up. You can see when blindfolded. Oh, is this autistic kids, Heather, you think? Hmm. They're able to play ping pong, ride a bike. I mean, insane. That's their smarter. They have more senses. It's several techniques being used. Different groups use different techniques, but they all get to the same result. Yellow, blue, yellow, orange, blue.
Is it autistic kids or kids with... Scientifically measuring the amount of light inside the mask to show that there's zero light. So technically you're not supposed to see that light. Basically you're asking your brain to control your vision. To your brain, we'll see.
Well, actually, you don't see with your eyes. You see with your brain. Really? Yes. It's your brain. I see with my hands. Hong Kong. It's like the optical lens. Wow. But actually, vision is controlled by the brain. That's me at the combine. Wow. So if there is no light, technically, you're not supposed to see because there's no reflection on objects. And yet, with that training, you can see completely without your eyes in the dark.
So this is just, you can take regular people and try to get the, I don't know about that. I feel like I'd fail that class. Blindfold them. And somehow this device allows them to roller skate or jump around and they can see with their brain, not with their eyes.
Yeah. When people pick something up, that's mine. I go, see with your eyes, not your hands. So that's. Well, if you guys saw the long version and that, and then she finally toward the end, they can see what their brain, but sometimes you get really stupid people like really dumb and we have them see with their brains and they get hurt immediately. So you have to have a certain basic IQ level for the device to work. But some people are just, just dumb.
I mean, they are really, really stupid. So I'm glad we didn't show that part. Here's a clever thing you can say if you're a kid and you're on the playground. It's a little thinky, but when people say they take your, they go, oh, that's cool. Can I see it? And you pull back and you first, you say, see with your eyes, not your hands. That's a good one for kids. And then you see, then you go, oh, there's no C in it. It's all dry land.
C-S-E-A. I like that. Isn't that great? Here's a playground favorite, and I'm sure you used it. Someone says, hey, Dana, you're stupid. I know you are, but what am I? That frustrates the shit out of little kids. They should still use that. David, you can't see very well.
I know, because I'm rubber and you're glue. Whatever you say to me bounces back and sticks on you. I thought you were going to say, I know you are, but what am I? I know, I forgot that one. I went to a new advanced one. No, those are the classics. Heather? I know you are, but what am I? There you go. She got it. There you go. She knows her cue. Today, kids are more sensitive into psychology. They'd say, I know I am, and you're not, and start to cry. So it's a different modality. I know I am.
My dad left me when I was four. That's what I usually would say. And then one of the, Oh boy, just song and dance again. Did you, did you get an enforcer as a kid? No, I wish I would always make best friends. Like in fourth grade, Steve Lee was the biggest, strongest kid. So I said, he's going to be my new best friend. And then he was my enforcer. So if someone tried to bully me, I go talk to the Steve. I go, Hey, you're big and dumb. I'm Dave.
Will you be my bully enforcer? I got picked on all the time. It was horrible. They beat the hell out of you because you were smart. What are you going to do? Win the chess championship? You're going to win the spelling bee spade? Is that your plan? They go, how's reading 47 books the most in the school when you were in fifth grade? And I go, it's fine.
And I go, Ooh, I didn't see that coming. I was good at dodge ball. I'm telling you, I was good at all of it. I couldn't do tether ball. That was a height orientated, but dodge ball. I was a speed demon. Tether ball is overrated. Okay. Is there any more? I have to go into happy Madison today. Okay. Okay. Um, just, um,
Oh, this might be fun for you, Dana. You can be Gene Simmons' roadie for a day and it's only $12,500. So you pay $12,500. So you pay. You pay it. Gene Simmons is a brilliant businessman. Why don't we get a roadie for Superfly? I'm going to get this for you for Christmas. Maybe we'll do online. We'll ask on YouTube who would pay the most.
to fly here and sit with Heather and you could laugh at all our jokes that most aren't funny at all. Not bad. Heather's laughed at three today, three out of 1000. Not great. How many times did she nod off? How many times did she nod off today? Sometimes I look, sometimes she's smiling and sometimes she's just literally drifting off, but you can't help it. It's an hour. And I saw her just peeking out of a sleeping bag.
looking at you and then she's zipping up the top in that you're it tilted i think greg cut that part out but heather was like oh my god what am i gonna how do i get away last week when she was sick she was sitting on the floor leaning leaning against the chair half laying on the floor but she showed up she's tough you are you all good now heather
She's close. We talked about this morning. She's pretty close. There's a lingering fatigue and a little bit of a cough. That's what happened to me. You had it too, David. That's why I missed the 50th. Right. And you were missed at the 50th. We need the heavy hitters there. But I won't be at the 60th. I won't be at the 60th. I'm waiting until the 100th. Why won't you be at the 60th? Are you saying you won't go or you will go? I will be at the 60th. Okay, good. Guaranteed. Here's John Lovitz.
Hey, Lorne, am I in the 60th? Should I book my flight? I don't know. We don't know yet. We're going to do a smash cut. You're going to be in a Toys R Us unicycle and you won't really know why you're there. And you'll say, I'm not really mad. I just want to know why I'm here. That's what I did last time.
You're going to get out. You're going to be playing with Tinker Toys, you know, Tinker Toys, and you're going to build an image that will look somewhat like me. Is there a Tinker Toy wrapper? That's not bad. Well,
What's up, yo? I'm fucking Tinker Toys. You can't tell who's a rapper anymore. You used to be the... You cannot. Shambuzy is this great country western. Ironically, he's a teetotaler, but Shambuzy... No, his name is Shamwowsy. No, and he was the sweetest... Shambow. Sweetest... Shaboozy was such a stud.
Yeah. Yeah. He is a stud and he's got this great country Western. We should, you know, we need monikers. We need nicknames. We're just Dana and David. We should be something else. I'm going to call you scuzzy. What? Cause he was, he was a bear. It's cause he, what? With a question mark. No, my name's pump fake. Hmm.
My name is Lemon Meringue. Oh, boy. All right, listen. I have to go to a press conference about...
The iHeart Awards. It all comes back. I've got a citation 10 waiting for me to go down and get the actual award and bring it back. And I'll get the original. We'll get you a copy. No, but anyone who listens to us, thank you. Because it keeps the lights on most of the time. Thank you.
The fact that we won anything is shocking. Anyway, appreciate it. And thanks for tuning in. Any comments in the YouTube, we read them. Maybe I'll read some on the air next week just so we can get some feedback. Yeah, I get some feedback because I don't know about my little shtick today if it was really landing. Okay, vote on that. Remember, it's rough draft. It's rough draft. It's undercooked, yes. Undercooked. I'm fishing when I do this podcast.
And then if I see the reaction, I'll go more. If I see another kind of reaction, I will laugh. No, I just do. I'll see if you get a little nibble on the line. Yeah. Okay. Thanks everybody. This has been a presentation of Odyssey. Superfly is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade. Jenna Weiss Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman. Hope you liked it.