Are We the Yak Mouths?
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Welcome to I've Had It Podcasts, our special

bonus edition, which we love so much. It's the best. It is the best to hear what the listener has had it with because they are all so relatable. Totally. And often overlooked. Often overlooked. And what I love about it, it's stuff that I hadn't even thought of that now I can be annoyed by. Totally. It opens up

your brain and your heart and your mind and your soul to so many more grievances. Right. Exactly. Right. Right. We are the grievance hunters. Not the house hunters. No. The grievance hunters. The grievance hunters. Kylie, please play for us our first contestant. Okay. First, we've got Dylan H.,

Hey, Queens. Just want to say I love this podcast and I love y'all so much. The one thing that really grinds my gears and what I've had it with are people who invite themselves to your events or your dinners or you and your friend are hanging out and they invite themselves. I fucking had it. If I wanted to invite you, I would have invited you. Take the hint. I've had it. Dylan, this is a fantastic podcast.

Five star had it because this happens. This does happen. But I have to say, Dylan, thank you for the sweet words about the podcast.

But I tend to be the person that like, if you and Josh are going to dinner, and I'm hungry, and I'm out, I'll just invite myself. You're a part of the problem. I am. I tend to be an inviter of myself. You just kind of pump your way in there. I just pump it up. I just pump, pump, pumps all the way in. So you invite yourself to things.

Yeah, because I typically don't do stuff. So when I think of like, if my girlfriends are talking about, yeah, let's do this, I'll be like, oh, I want to go. Or normally I'm like, I don't want to go. I kind of, I'm a part of the problem. You are. I just can't imagine anybody wouldn't want me to come. It's part of my personality defect. Oh, yeah. Listener is a funny story. When Pumps and her ex-husband were set up,

On a blind date. Tell the listener pumps, y'all went out and then what happened? We went out and I thought he was the dog of the century and was like, never again. And then he didn't call me for two weeks. And I was like, why on earth would he not call me? Like, it's not even close.

So then after two weeks, he called me. And of course, I wanted to go out again because I'm like, obviously, you missed how great I was the first time. And you needed a lesson on that. Yeah. And he said he was doing it on purpose. And I look at it now and I just should have stuck with my initial gut reaction. Right. But instead, that red flag, you climbed to the top of it and produced three, humped it, dry humped that thing. Triple down. Not double down. Triple down. Yeah. Yeah.

So yeah, Dylan, I hate to say I'm probably part of the problem. But I feel like if Dylan was having a party, a dinner party, and I said, Dylan, I want to come, he would let me. Don't you think he'd be happy if I came? Well, I think because he started off that he loved the podcast, I think he would be elated.

But I do think you're slightly big for your britches and thinking that everybody's just chomping at the bit to have you over at dinner. No, I'm not saying I think they're chomping at the bit to have me over for dinner. I'm just saying like if we're all like if people are meeting to go somewhere before a football game or stuff, I typically don't go. But if I do, I'll just call and say, where are y'all going tonight? And I'll go.

Okay, let me flip this around for you a little bit. Okay. And let me paint the picture for you as to what he's talking about. Okay. Because he's not talking specifically about you, as difficult as that might be for you to comprehend this point. Not everything's about me. Josh Welch. Jesus, I'm surrounded by a listener. Okay. Let me play Dylan's tape for you. Okay.

I'm having people over to my house. Okay. And then picture a person that irritates the shit out of you. And you specifically asked me is such and such coming. Right. And I say, no, they're not coming. And then another mutual friend says, oh, I ran into such and such at Starbucks, told her I was coming over. Now she's coming over too. And I didn't know how to handle it.

Right. See, that's the difference. That's the difference. Because I don't do that with people that I aren't like my friend group kind of. I wouldn't just do it with a random person. What if somebody like, what if a personal space invader invited themselves over to

to something that I was having and they invited themselves over and I'm irritated by it and you're irritated by it because this person is a personal space invader. This is what Dylan's talking about. He's not talking about all of your friends that y'all are meeting prior to a football game. Okay, you're right. You're right. This is an epidemic. That's true. People do this and that's what he's talking about. I do think we are of an age, Dylan's not as old as us, but we're of an age that it's like,

I'm so sorry. You need to call her back and say, I don't have room. Like I'm just to that point in life or I'll call her. If you don't want to call her, I'll call her. Well, we had that situation where I had that summer pool party. Right. And you just said, no, your kids are not invited. Yeah. People wanted to bring their kids. And I just said, no, my kids aren't attending my pool party. But I want your kids. Your kids cannot attend my pool party. And that's what he's talking about. That's what he's talking about.

that's what the gist of this is. And I think it is a huge, it's a huge problem. It's huge problem. And he gets to have it. He gets to have it. Even though you're a part of the problem and made his whole grievance about you skirting the system somehow with your charm and how great you are. He gets to have it. Dylan, I support you and your grievance. And I apologize that the star of our show is,

seems to have all of this getting to her head. Kylie, who's next? We've got a special submission for the star of our show. Okay. And it's one Emily Olsen. Oh, God. Emily called in. I'm kind of nervous. Let me tell you what I've had it with. I personally have had it with the outrageous amount of

Jennifer, I want my mom back. Give me my mom back. I've had it.

No, she gets so mad. She gets so mad. It's so great. And here's the deal. Emily, you're 20 years old and your mom can talk on the phone with me. They do get so mad. But listener, it's real. It is. It's a problem. We talk on the phone most days before 7 a.m. for about 30, 45 minutes.

We have about two to three midday phone calls. I call her every day precisely at 345 on my way to go play pickleball. And on your way home. Then I call her immediately on the way home. And then on like a Saturday or Sunday, I remember when like just last weekend, I was like,

I was on the phone with you after a great fucking two hour pickleball match, I might add. And Josh is like, hey, I'm going to go here, here, here and here. And I'm like, OK, great. And he just like, you know, he waves like Emily. He's irritated. He leaves, runs like seven errands, comes back in the house. I have not moved. Yeah, and he gave us so much shit. And our conversation was still going. And here's what's so fucked up about it, Emily and listener.

It could only have one subject and we can drag out a dead horse and we can beat it with enthusiasm. Like it's the first time. Yes. Like always like that son of a bitch. Do you remember during COVID when Emily got so mad and she snotted off to you? Like she snotted off pretty hard and you fucking called her out on it. You called her. When we got off the phone, you called her and you're like, you need to stop. That was rude. Yeah.

Parked right in her ass about it. Yeah. Yeah. Emily, you better fasten your seatbelt. If you think you've had it now, we're going to go into overdrive. We are. After that submission, I think we really, really need to roll it out. Yes. I don't know how we talk on the phone anymore, but we can figure it out. We'll figure it out. Okay, Kylie, who's next? Up next, we've got Erin M. Erin M.

I've had it when you go to look up a recipe on Pinterest and you have to read their goddamn life story before you get to the recipe. Who has time for that shit?

And who gives a fuck what their life story is? Is the recipe good or not? I've never been on Pinterest, so I can't speak to that personally. But when I do look up a recipe and they have to yak mouth, yak mouth, yak mouth, it's just like jump to the recipe. There should be a button that's just like, I don't give a fuck why you're doing this, how you discovered you could do it or who, you know, all that shit. If you're gluten free, blah, blah, just get me to the recipe.

I can't relate to this at all because I don't cook. You don't cook. Listener, the only thing I know how to make is reservations. That's it. You can make a good breakfast. I can make a breakfast. Yeah. And I do two to three times annually. Well, you do it on Christmas Eve every year. I think that's the only time you've ever done it. Once a year. I do like when Dylan comes home from college in the summer, I'll whip out some eggs and some pancakes. Oh, you will? On a regular basis or just like once a summer? I said two to three times annually. Okay. Okay. Okay. Then that answers the question. All right. All right.

Um, but I just don't, I don't relate to that recipes, the looking up of recipes, knowing that people are showboating and grandstanding at the introduction of their recipes further confirms my life choice of not cooking. Right. It tells me, listener, that I have made the right choice, the right choice. But I'll tell you what happens when you don't cook. You order a lot of takeout food.

And the shit that's going on with the errors and the takeout food, I'm up to my eyeballs had it. I mean, I have had it. You go on to Postmates and you enter in everything perfectly. Remove this, add this, an extra side of this. I'm crystal clear about it. I leave a great tip. I'm a great tipper. And here's what infuriates me about it. The people at the restaurant have a responsibility to check that to make sure everything is correct. Right.

But then another person has a fiduciary duty over that food. And it is the driver of the DoorDash.

They need to check it. So it's slipped through the cracks twice. And then it makes it to my door. And it's either the wrong order altogether, has the wrong ingredients on it. It's fucked up. And I feel completely homicidal. Yes. No, I get so homicidal and the order is bad. It's just takes some pride.

And one thing that should have come out of COVID is the takeout order. Everybody kind of kicked it into high gear. Check your work. You learn this in first and second grade. The teacher says, check your work. So restaurants nationwide, check your work. Uber drivers, Uber Eats, Postmates, check your work. And I have a little tip for these apps.

I think you need to send, we tip afterwards. Right. And we need to say, was your order correct? Right. So that you can put, I was missing the ranch or it was the wrong salad. So we ordered the other night, we ordered, Josh and I ordered just old fashioned chicken fajitas from Chili's. Yes. They make a great fajita. They do. They have great salsa too. So that's what we got. I'm going to get to. So we ordered some chips and salsa.

And the salsa was completely watered down. There was like no chunks in it. And so then about a month later, we had the same order, same situation, watered down salsa. So Josh says, you know, I think I might swing by Chili's, have a little chit chat with the manager and find out what's going on with the salsa.

If he did that, I would die laughing because he would never do that. He would never do it. Never do it. He would never do it. And then like the third time we ordered it, the salsa was chunky again. But I just think there needs to be checking, double checking, rechecking with the management, with the to-go packager, with the chef. Make sure that shit is.

is delivered the way it's supposed to be delivered. But then if you're the delivery driver, you have a responsibility over that food to make sure it's right.

Yeah, but I do think it's more on the manager of the restaurant. Like somebody needs to double check the food before it goes to the Uber driver. I agree. But then the driver is getting paid. That shit is not cheap. Right. No, I agree with you. I'm just saying more responsibility is on the restaurant. Agree, but I'm not letting that fucking driver off the hook.

Yes. Well, it is a problem. There's no doubt about it because there's nothing more disappointing than when you're so excited about something and then it's just fucking all fucked up. The other night we ordered from a taco place and it just nothing was our order. Right. It's just like you got the wrong one. We got a complete, we got had these burritos we didn't order. It was fucking chaos. I was mattered in a hornet. I took about two bites. I just said, fuck it. I'm going to choose some nicotine gum and just call it. Yeah. It does make you homicidal when they don't have your order. Right.

But back to Aaron, I do absolutely. I'm first of all, I just want to say I'm proud I've never been on Pinterest. Just want to throw that in. And the

The recipes, they don't just show you the recipe. They don't do the stars, the time it takes, and the recipe. That's all it needs to be done. It's like yak mouthing about the food. So she's 100% right. I give that a five-star review. Just like you say that you wanted to just throw in for the permanent record that you've never been on Pinterest, I just want to throw in for the permanent record that I would never get on the internet and search for a recipe. Okay. I just want that in the record. Okay.

The permanent record. The permanent record. No Pinterest for pumps. No recipe Googling for gin. Pumps, as much as we're traveling, I really like to eat nuts, particularly pistachios. I love wonderful pistachios because they provide pistachios with no shells. My favorite flavor is the sea salt and vinegar.

You know, I really like jalapeno lime because I like a spicy nut, but they also have a wide range of flavors. There's a wonderful pistachios product for every taste bud and occasion from enjoying with family and friends or taking them with you on the go. Savory, salty, smoky, spicy, or sweet. Wonderful pistachios, no shells flavors are delicious snacks that consumers can feel good about.

Next time you're shopping for snacks and you are craving something crunchy and satisfying, ditch the bag of chips and grab Wonderful Pistachios No-Shells. Your body and your taste buds will thank us. Visit wonderfulpistachios.com to learn more. Kylie, up next is Bree-U. Bree-U.

I have fucking had it with the people that use the speak to text bullshit. Like you aren't a fucking spy kid or inspector gadget. Quit speaking into your fucking Apple watch. I think she's so right. So right.

But, again, I'm kind of an offender because if somebody's calling me and I want to talk to them, I'll get on my Apple Watch until I find my phone. That's not what she's talking about. Well, what is she talking about? You just completely missed it. I mean, you just completely missed the point. Okay, well, enlighten me. She's talking about people that speak and then the smartphone writes the words into a text. Right.

Oh, and then the text is all fucked up. This is a very valid point because every single time people do this to me, I get about seven or eight very confusing texts followed up by, I'm sorry, speaking into my phone and the text keeps screwing it up. Every single time, it's never successful. No, it's not. It's never works. And there's always that caveat text that explains why it looks like they're intoxicated the previous eight texts. Well, and then by that, it makes it more work.

The speaking into it makes it work. Well, because then I'm like, what are you talking about? And then they keep speaking into it. And then the text diction keeps screwing it up. And it just – it's like you're communicating with a drunk person. Right. Until finally they reveal that the drunk person is Siri. Right. Right. Which it would have just been easier for everybody if they would have text from the jump. Right. Right. I think that –

You know how when you get a new car, they go over all the options for you? I hate. Hate. I mean, that is like a top 10 had it with. Hate. But so one day, he's wanting to give me this spiel about my new car, about the voice text. Like, you can voice text from this car. And I'm like, I can't. Maybe everybody else can't. I can't. My accent's too bad. He browbeats me until I do it about how this is the best equipment, newest.

will always understand everything you say. Yuck, yuck, yuck. So finally, I'm just like, fuck it. I'm never going to get off this car a lot if I just don't do it. So I speak something into it and it's all fucked up because my accent's too thick. I talk too fast. My accent's too thick.

So then he wants to go over, like, teach me how to speak. That'll troubleshoot your accent? Yes. And I just finally said, I've got to go. I've got kids. I can't do that. I'll tell you, I don't think there's anything more insufferable than the car buying. It sounds like, let's go. I'm going to get a new car. The sound of that is exciting. Right. New cars are exciting. Your endorphins are high. The process of going to a car dealership

getting attacked, stalked,

yak mouthing too much. Then the rollout of the presentation, all the bells and whistles. Then you got to go to the financial department, then the dealership back and forth. And then they want to sell you the tire warranty, the seat warranty. And it is non-ending. And then, and then something happens with your car and you have to make an appointment to go get it serviced. The servicing of a car has become one of the most miserable experiences on the planet.

The last time I got my car serviced, you know what they fucking did? What? They sent a survey. Oh, yeah. They always send a survey. To follow up. And I'm thinking the last fucking thing I wanted to be reminded of right now was the misery of taking my car, leaving it with you for a week.

driving some loaner car or rental car, then finally getting my car back. It was done. I never want to think about it again. I'm not going to go on the internet and rage about it. I'm not that person. And you send me a fucking survey. You're reminding me of this miserable experience that I just had. I don't want to fill out a car repair survey. No. I've had it with surveys. My biggest complaint, the service I can handle, it's the, okay, I'm picking up my car. I'm going to drive it away.

And they just prolong that process. They do. It's awful. It's like, I'll ask somebody. I will never understand why people don't perceive it as a gift when I tell them, you don't have to talk to me about this. I'm the easiest person on the planet. Tell me the price.

Tell me your best price. I will sign documents. Right. I will pay you my money. We can speak as little as possible. We can do this whole thing in 30 minutes. Much to my surprise, they're always offended. If somebody came to me as an interior designer and said, listen, here's my budget. Here's the look I want. You don't have to talk to me at all. Just do your thing.

I would literally think this person is the greatest person I have ever met in my life. And I tried to project that, what I want in business relationships onto future business relationships. And I think I get branded as an ice bitch, unfriendly, et cetera. And it's like, I just don't want to talk about all the minutia of these things. I just want the service. I don't want to talk about it and I want to move on down the road. Well, see, my kids get mad at me when we go to

restaurants, kids all say, here's the deal. We've only got 30 minutes. I'm a great tipper. So let's just get in and out. And they're just like, mom, that's so rude. I'm like, everybody's expectations are set.

He knows he has to be fast. He knows if he does a good job, I'm a great tipper. We both are because we waited tables. Yes. So, I mean, I think I'm doing that person a favor, but my kids think it's rude. When I waited tables, if somebody would have said that to me, if I would have known I get to turn the table quickly, they're going to be a great tipper. I would have been appreciated it so much. One year I went to Christmas shopping and got all my gifts from a place that I know is on commission. And I grabbed somebody and I go,

I'm going to need you to do everything for me, but I'm going to buy every single one of my Christmas gifts right here. She was fabulous. We had the perfect relationship. She was amazing. All the gifts were good. You just got to set your expectations. You do. I think what we're getting to is we need to draw boundaries with these yak mouths and every thesis sentence, everything that we do.

falls back on yak mouths. It really kind of does. You know who with Dylan, our first caller in, you know what it is? A yak mouth inviting themselves to the party. That's right. AKA pumps. Huge problem.

Right? Yeah. The texter that this last caller is talking about, they're yak-mouthing into their phone. Right. Instead of shutting the fuck up and typing it in like a normal fucking person. Right. You know? I agree. I mean, it's everything falls back onto yak-mouth. I could not agree more. That's a great observation. Yeah. I just, I think all roads are leading to

To the yak mouth. Which is interesting because here we are producing a podcast where we do nothing. But be yak mouths. Yeah. Right. Emily's was also about yak mouths. Yeah. Oh, Emily's was 1000% about the two biggest yak mouths. On the planet. In the United States of America, possibly globally. And we have had it with yak mouths. What time are you calling me tonight? 345 is our next check. God, we crack me up. Yeah.

Okay. We are so stupid. Okay. Listener, you have to do things for us. You have to follow us on all of the things. You have to subscribe on all of the things. Write a review. Give us all the stars. Oh, and this is a big one. Please, for a chance to be featured on I've Had It.

send a voice memo to our Instagram account. And if you sent one a long time ago and you think it's super, super good, just keep resending it so it will get back to the top of those DMs because we got people sliding all over the DMs left and right. Don't we, Kyle? We do. Yeah, we got a lot of DM action going on. Does anybody ever slide into your DMs?

Sometimes. I don't know. There's somebody that's been commenting on a bunch of our posts, a guy. Have you seen this, Kylie? And he likes you. Okay, great. I'm going to screenshot it and I'll text it to you. He's commented on I've had it and he's like, I really totally have a crush on pumps. And it's like been four to five posts.

Excellent. When we talk today at 345, we'll get to the deep, dark bottom of it. And listener, I'm not going to leave you out. I will report back to you on all of this intel next Thursday because that's when we will see you next. See you next Thursday. Oh, but actually we're going to see them before then. On next Tuesday. So see you next Tuesday. That's right. What is it? Spell pumps. Cut. Bye, listener. Bye.