Side Stories: Annabelle Rides Again
01:06:30 Share

Last podcast on the left is proudly sponsored by Amica Insurance. At Amica, you'll receive coverage with compassion. When you choose Amica, they'll take the time to explain your options for auto, home, and life insurance. You can feel confident knowing that they'll protect what matters most to you. Amica will provide you with peace of mind. Go to amica.com and get a quote today. What if you could turn your curiosity for true crime into a degree? At Southern New Hampshire University, you can.

Southern New Hampshire University offers over 200 degrees you can earn completely online, including subjects like forensic psychology, criminology, and crime analysis. And with low online tuition, Southern New Hampshire University makes earning your degree affordable, flexible, and achievable. Find your degree at snhu.edu slash lastpodcast. That's snhu.edu slash lastpodcast.

There's no place to escape to. This is the Lost Podcast. On the left. Side stories? That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes. So someone gave you a...

cassette tapes of Pan Flute. I actually took them home and I listened to the Pan Flute tape today when I was in the shower because I like to listen to my tapes when I'm in the shower. And it was great. They had a Pan Flute version of We Got Tonight. That's amazing. I was like, I feel like I would take a lot of the drama out of that. Oh, for sure. Do-do-do-do. Do-do-do-do. Do-do-do-do. Do-do-do-do.

do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do

Yeah, that's all pan flutes. Actually, it's making me angry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The idea of doing that. How sad you'd have to be sitting there at a kiosk in the mall listening to a fake Native American play his electric pan flutes just like this. Yeah, I kind of liked it. But this is fine, but it definitely doesn't make me horny. No, it definitely doesn't make me horny. Only reason I enjoy it is because I was in the shower when I was listening to it. Oh, sure. And I feel like pan flutes are...

really at their core shower music. Oh, yeah. I could definitely see some pan flutes gently playing in the background as Julie scrapes the barnacles off your underside with a big hook. You know, spraying you with various, I guess, antibacterial foam. We gotta get those orcas out of the...

thing in France. Yeah, you mentioned it finally. And yes, I have returned. Welcome to Side Stories. I missed you. It's good to be back. My name is Andrew Zebrowski. I'm sitting here with Ed Larson. I am recently aggrieved, but now I have completed grieving. Oh yeah? It's over? You're just good now? Done. Alright, well. You know what? That is George Winstead. Oh, I know. I know, and I work with him.

He's one of the first celebrities that I can even say I can finally have one of those where I worked with George Wendt. I hung out with George Wendt for several days. He was very ill at the time, it seemed. He was somehow younger than my father when he died. He had to be. He looked rough. He looked really rough. But George Wendt was a comedy hero of mine. Of everybody. And he was wonderful in person. He said a bunch of stories I can't repeat.

Which is the best thing you can say about an old timey actor. I don't think it matters anymore.

There's still family out there. There's still family out there. Yeah. Do you think he was able to have sex and have children? I think, oh yeah, he had before. I mean, he's always been huge. But when he was just straight up, Norm, forget he was 35, you can still push him. That's wild to me. That drives me crazy. I thought he was at least 50 in that show. No, dude, no. He was younger than us. But you know what I will say? You really...

are putting a lot of, it's just on the woman. When it comes to George Wendt, if you're going to have sex with George Wendt, just know he's going to be on the bottom. And you're going to have to ride him because that's how it's going to get. If you want to come at all, you're going to have to ride him and you're going to have to pump him full of Cialis. But unfortunately, not anymore because now he's a corpse. But great actor, great friend, great father. I also want to say, you know how I know actually I'm not,

Done grieving. Okay, let me hear it. One of the biggest things that came out of me in this, like, you know, sadness spiral, lost my father. For those of you that don't know, it's not like he's not in the woods. He's dead. But my father is, my father passed. And first of all, I just want to say big ups to the people over at HoSpice.

They really did a good job. Helped my father out. I'm not even joking. I do believe that a part of my father's positive reaction to his nurse was how stacked she was. Yeah. You manifested this. Honestly, I don't want to give myself too much credit, but yes.

I believe I created this busty nurse that was an angel on earth that arrived and wiped my father and did all the things that he needed to do at the very, very end. Yeah, but he wasn't fighting. No. Which I think before he was fighting because it was men. And then all of a sudden we have this lady where you can sort of see her nipples. And now he's just open. Polish prob? No, I don't think so, no. No, unfortunately. No. No, no, no, no, I wish.

The night nurse was also stacked, but that's different. Yeah, the night nurse is always stacked. That's why they keep her in the evening. She's got to be there. Yeah, it's like, yeah, she wore lingerie. I actually thought it was kind of inappropriate. Yeah. But at the same time, slipped her a 50. You know what I mean? Because it was like, thanks. Thanks from everybody. If you want to lean over on my father a little harder, please. If you could, please.

give them a thrill. It's the last one I'll ever have. It might help them pass. So, but what I realized, the reason why I'm still grieving is that I, we joke on the show all the time about

What happens when a guy loses something, loses his family, he gets and becomes a hollow moon enthusiast. If he loses his pension, he starts believing in flat earth and stuff like that. And I found in the center of my grief, what brought me quite a bit of comfort was the Jeffrey Epstein story. Oh, yeah. And I've now been reading a giant book. Is it a childhood story?

Was it like him as a boy? It's his, it's tales of his childhood. It's all about old little Jeffrey Epstein and his many businesses. Even as a kid, he somehow flipped a fucking like, he obviously was pimping, but the main thing was a lemonade stand.

But he had the girls behind the stand. Filling it with piss. Oh, yeah. And that's how you know it. Because, again, he's making his own lemonade. Yeah. And that's called producer's juice. Oh, and that's what I have here today. I learned that from the P. Diddy trial. Producer's juice. Just a little bit. Is that coffee? No.

That's hot pee, baby. Oh! That's a hot, hot, hot pee. Because that's what I learned also from the P. Diddy trial this week, is that if you're producing and you ain't making people drink pee, you're not P. Diddy. I mean, his first name is P. But I did not know it stood for pee-pee.

You know, like I did not know. I thought it said for precocious ditty. We all know what the R in R. Kelly stood for. Well, now we do. Now we do, don't we? At least it wasn't C because if he was P. Kelly, he'd be Poo Poo Kelly. But he did his fair share of peeing as well. Oh, he did. And truck bearing. And they really like it. They really like it. But I have been reading all...

The book by, she might be listed as a controversial person now. I'm not quite certain. Whitney Webb, that was an investigative journalist, that wrote two 850-page volumes about the various business connections of Jeffrey Epstein and the various intelligence connections that he had. And I'll tell you what, it is a laugh a minute. Yeah. It's the funniest book I read since Norm MacDonald's last book. What were they saying? Was he involved with, I don't know, China?

We got to educate Ed Larson a little bit on this. No, I don't want to do this too, because when we went to the, we were at cruel world festival this weekend and right before I was on the right amount of mushrooms and rockstar energy drink to info. I was like full on info dumping on Marcus about lucky Luciano, the connections of the OG, um,

Mafia five families and CIA and the or the the whole like the naval intelligence units that were using mobsters in the 1940s to rat out Nazi secret agents in the unions of New York City, which is a movie in and of itself that I can't fucking believe that I have never seen. It's called Operation Underground. It's completely real. Cool.

That's very cool. Yeah. It's fucking, they went, they brokered relations. So this is one of the beginnings of when we were in the whole MK Ultra Mishigash where

where the CIA and the other intelligence agencies were using open criminals to help suss out what they said was spy activity. So the mob hated the Nazis? Mob hated the Nazis. Even though the Nazis and the Italians were in bed together? Well, the OG Italians, not American Italians. Yeah. American Italians hated the Nazis at the time. Wow. But now, obviously, they seem to really like them. No.

But before they were actually... They were in our time. Our time. But yeah, that's like, but it's very similar to, the reason why I even bring it up is because the Epstein activity and the Diddy activity was all extremely, extremely close. And again... They had to have known each other. Maybe, but it seems the main difference was the fact that Jeffrey Epstein definitely was a member of the intelligence community.

And so you can kind of see this, but this book is like, I mean, it's thick. Ours or Mossad? Both. Wow. Both. And then he was working for both. And it's more just like, can we have a good kind of even keeled conversation about the Mossad? Did you not to be this guy, but did you check out the bibliography? Can't this chick just write whatever she wants?

What do you mean? I mean, what was her sources? Oh, no. This is... It's huge. It's really just... She's doing a good job of just presenting facts and just, like, trying to figure out what was Jeffrey Epstein's job? How the fuck did he have money? And...

On one hand, it seems that he did quite a bit of some form of investing and working with billionaires. But on the other hand, if you work for the intelligent agencies, as we could see with one of my favorites, Marjorie Taylor Greene, that if you get inside information about what the government's going to do and what other world governments are going to do and how they're going to either regulate their businesses or inside bullshit from other businesses, you can make a lot of money in the stock market.

So that was his on the books money? Well, it's all over the place. So this book is charting all of it. And you can see it's quite complicated. Of course. It would have to be. It's called One Nation Under Blackmail. I can't really... One nation under a blackmail.

Honestly, he left that. He's leaving money on the fucking table. Whitney Webb is somebody that I honestly, I don't know how else to recommend other things that she's done, but this is, it's thick. And if you want to become an extremely difficult person to talk to, especially when you were in a kind of mixed mood, read that book because that is what Marcus was like. My hostage. This is how you mourned your father. Oh yes, of course. This and watching various, I watched a lot of cops. I watched a lot of

of my normal body cam footage. And as I'm going to show tonight live on the stream, you won't see it until it comes to YouTube. I'm going to show some of the other things that really did help me pass the time. Oh, well, that's good. But otherwise, it's great. And God, you know, there just need to be more big, crazy-titted nurses out there that are ready to do the work. Amen. Amen. I feel like if you have...

Really big breasts. You should get a discount at nursing school. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. But I also want to reach out. I got so many different... E-cups? Free. Wow. Yes. Free nursing school. You're a doctor now. No, no, no. You can't have me be a doctor. Big-titted doctor. Well, big-titted doctor leaves the room too fast. Yes. A nurse has to check up on you. Big-titted doctors don't do a lot of the work. Yeah, yeah. A doctor ain't rolling me over to make sure I don't get sores. No, not unless, again, you're paying them directly. Okay.

I wish that... I want to also say thank you to all of the various nurses that reached out to me. I have a lot of friends. Olga. Yeah, Olga. Petunia. Madonna. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just love each one of them. But I got reached out to by a lot of people that are internet friends of mine that are in the nursing industry. And it takes a special type of angel. Oh, for sure. It's a calling that...

you're just not going to do. Because even though Jackie and I, we're trying to draw the straight straw. We were trying to draw the short straw to see who got to wipe daddy. Did you not do it? No. I did. I'd rather... Not your father, mine. I'd rather beat John Wick's dog

I'd rather be... You have to kill it. Yeah, I would rather be... To not wipe my father, I would have done anything. Really? I'll wipe anybody else. You know, it's interesting, except for my mother. I think my mother's slightly higher on the list of who I don't want to wipe. Really? But dad's real close.

And then the third one is? Me. Oh, Papa Joe Biden. Oh, yeah. Oh, Joe Biden. Someone's going to have to be wiping him soon. He's sitting on some rocks. Yeah, poor fucker. Hey, it's fine. He's tired now. We'll forget about him soon. Oh, he already forgot about himself. Yep. You know, while we're talking about death, my favorite internet dog died. It finally happened to me. Which one? Sunday the Black Lab. God, help me. It's so sad. I know. Now I'm following Little Bitties.

Little bitties? And Cheddarini. How are they doing? They're healthy, but that's the reason why I even chose them is because they're mid-age. I think the next internet dog I fall in love with. Puppy. Puppy, yeah. I'm going to fall in love with a puppy. Just be able to spend some time with it. I'll keep the real dog death to my own home. Yes, because that's where you're comfortable with it. Yeah, yeah. Somewhere so I can be a... Also, before we move on past everything that happened with Florida and stuff like that, I have to say...

You missed our shows together. I know. I was so sad. I can't wait. We got to make it up. We are going to. Everybody was so nice. Everyone really cares about you. It was kind of beautiful to see. That's very nice. But in Orlando, you didn't show up and I got to eat your Publix up. I know. And you like my order? I liked it.

I didn't think I would. It didn't make sense to me when I was putting it in. And then when I took a bite, I was like, oh, fuck, this is good. It's not because the bread's healthier. I like the five-grain Italian bread because it tastes better. See, I've had, if you order just the wheat, it's a little dry. That's gross. But the five-grain Italian, I wouldn't think to do that very good. Five-grain Italian is also the key, too. It's like, I don't like the iceberg lettuce. I like a spinach. See, I always, I'm addicted to shredded iceberg. I love shredded iceberg on everything. A thick

Iceberg, go fuck. But shredded iceberg, I love. I wouldn't imagine straying. I tried your spinach. I couldn't believe how much I liked it. I like it. It also gets it in there. It gets other little factors in there. Love Publix. Yeah, that was really, really good. Yes. I'm very impressed by your order. Thank you. And I ate it at three in the morning, and so it was perfect. Yes, good. I'm glad I- That's exactly how it did. And the whole time, I was like, this one's for Henry's dad. No! No! No!

No, no, no, no, no, no. No, and it's, again, I just can't say thank you enough to everybody that reached out so nicely to me. Yeah. But, again, I don't really need all the listeners, and I don't need all the fans, and I don't need the families. I just need the truth about...

Jeffrey Epstein to really hold me during this time. Yeah, so if you could, please send all of your Jeffrey Epstein theories to Henry's DMs and really flood that thing. I barely check it. Go to sidestorieslpotl at gmail.com. Please, anything Epstein related, I'm into it. Yeah, yeah. Please keep him going. I'm a real Steen head. Summer's coming up.

You know, you're looking ahead. You're like, all right, I got to do this summer vacation, you know, but I got to cut some corners before we do it. And you know where you're going to go to find a way to cut some corners and save some money so you can go on that vacation and do everything you want to do this summer?

Get Rocket Money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. All right? It is valuable. Rocket Money is going to help you find the problems that you made for yourself, cancel your unwanted subscriptions, and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money.

Go to rocketmoney.com slash LPOTL today. That's rocketmoney.com slash LPOTL. rocketmoney.com slash LPOTL. Go get it. Be good to yourselves. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place. Seems amazing, right? It's because it is.

From consultations to events and experiences, showcase your offerings with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your business, which is good because let's just say I need it. You know, as you may or may not know, I lost horsepicks.com in a very, very public and embarrassing auction to a young man by the name of Charlie Bucket, who has decided to take my horse picks and drive it towards the right.

Some of the incendiary horse pics that I've seen, including Steve Bannon on a Clydesdale, one of the worst I saw was Ivanka Trump inside of a mayor. And I know that this is not the direction that I saw horsepics.com. And that little boy, I didn't know that he'd become a full-fledged Nazi and grow his hair into broccoli shapes and do all sorts of things I don't understand, which is why I've started...

emupaintings.com. Thank you, Squarespace, because emupaintings.com are really an exceptional way for me to get you paintings of emus in various positions that emus wouldn't normally be. And in a way, I find it both amusing and inspiring to see what emus can do using the painter's brush and imagination.

And if it wasn't for Squarespace, I would be absolutely effed to the gills. That's the term for being absolutely S out of luck. So Squarespace, thank you for streamlining your workflow with built-in tools because I would not have been able to get this website up fast enough due to the legal fees I've received and the personal heartache and my own health deteriorating.

I just want to say thank you, Squarespace, for all your help. And emupaintings.com is going to be just as good and just as funny and relevant. I promise. Head to squarespace.com slash left for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use offer code left to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

You're traveling. It's summer. Let's face it. You're going to do something. Maybe you're a teacher. You got a bunch of free time. You're still getting paid. What are you going to do? You're going to go somewhere weird that you've never been before. And leaving the country, it's already stressful. It's good to just know a little bit more about where you're going. Whether it's Mexico or France, it's good to know a little bit more about how to communicate with the people where you're going. And plus, you're going to be able to

You know, you got to know what you're ordering off the menu. What are we even talking about here? At least for the waiters and waitresses across the world.

Learn a couple things. Start speaking a new language with confidence thanks to Babbel's conversation-based technique that quickly teaches you useful words and phrases about the things you actually talk about in the real world. Languages available on Babbel are English, German, Spanish, Italian, French, Brazilian, Portuguese, Turkish, Polish, Indonesian, Dutch, Norwegian, Danish, Swedish, and Russian. So go to one

of those places and talk to the people. One thing that I love, and you obviously know that I love this, it's talking. And I want to talk to everyone no matter where I am. And so traveling the world is amazing. You learn so much about everyone everywhere, especially if you can actually talk to them. So let Babbel help you out with that. Learn another language.

Babbel is gifting our listeners 55% off subscriptions at babbel.com slash left. Get up to 55% off at babbel.com slash left. Spelled B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash left. Babbel.com slash left. Rules and restrictions may apply.

Now, we have some updates, but before we get started, last puppy benefit on the left this Friday. Just come and check this out. Masonic Temple at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery this Friday, May 23rd from 7 p.m. to 10 p.m. Play with puppies. Play with us. We're going to have a great time. I don't think we really even said that it has a foal. It's not an open bar. It's an open pet.

Yes. Puppy cocktail hour. So the puppies are coming for an hour to be petted. And they have a hard out. Yeah, they've got to get back to the river. They're immediately back thrown in the river. The ones that you don't adopt. The ones that you don't adopt are going to be immediately destroyed. No, not immediately destroyed. There's a basket that floats kind of well. We're going to put it in the river and see how it does. And that's the best part. Then they can

be kind of afraid a little bit. Yeah, it's the LA river, so there might not even be water in it. So they might die of exposure. So what I would say is, you've got to buy a ticket, and you've got to come, and you've got to adopt these dogs. Because if you don't, again, and this is not from us, this is from the organization, they're gonna, we try to beg them to not.

Yeah. Wipe out the dogs that are left. We begged them to not. They're pups without borders, and the borders are moral compass. Oh, I thought it was skin and bones. Yes. No, but please come and check this out. It is going to be fun, too, because we've accidentally kind of guaranteed that we're going to do a full show. Yeah, of all material that we'll never do before or after. We have no idea what we're going to do there, so you should come check that out.

Yeah, it's going to be wild. I'm very excited. So come on down to the Masonic this Friday, May 23rd from 7 p.m. to 10 p.m. Henry's drinking his hot piss juice. Did you use the community microwave for that? God, it's like I'm in the room with Kid Cudi. All right, so I got an update, which this is a really good one. Okay.

Man with MS, multiple sclerosis, spent over $12,000 to be Gene Simmons' roadie with his 13-year-old son. He got one. Gene Simmons, we covered this before. This program, this championship or whatever, this tournament where you just give him $13,000 and you get to be a roadie for a day. $12,495 for the ultimate Gene Simmons experience to be exact.

Do you think they yelled at him about the monitors?

You think they have him dragging stuff back and forth? Because he had to bring his son. He was supposed to be roadie for a day. He was roadie for a day. He helped with the load in. He was there for sound check. They got to eat some Italian takeout with Gene Simmons. And it wasn't even gifts. And he's just like, you're going to want to Venmo request me for some of that ravioli you have there. Just so you know. Shows the tongue. Like, this is the best thing ever. I'm so sick.

Dwayne Rosado and his son, Zach, paid $12,495 for the experience. And that $12,000, there's no way that could have been better suited towards something with his syndrome. It's so funny. Dwayne said the father who purchased it as a birthday gift for his son.

Even though it's clearly for you. It's work. Yes. And you're also bringing him to work for Gene Simmons. And Gene Simmons is probably being just being like, you have any idea how many people would pay to be my toilet? Four. I met four of them. Oh, man. Dwayne said, you only live once and I want to experience life. I'm not going to die with a lot of money. I'm going to die happy. Honestly, I do agree with that. But his fucking kids are...

sitting right there. And he's just like, I could have used some of that money, father. I feel like $12,000 might have helped towards me getting a used car or something, my dearest father. Apparently. Is that him just watching Gene Simmons? Yeah. Is he yelling at him to work? Yeah. Hey, you gotta say, hey, hey, this is Tinney.

This is Teddy. Get the sounds up. Get the medium amps up. Oh, my God. Man, he looks so happy to be at work. Yeah. No, they're doing it. They're wearing the gear, all that stuff. Man, his son is embarrassed. He does not want to be there. Maybe not. Well, apparently during their Italian food takeout from a local spot, Gene Simmons was regaling the boy of how he lost his virginity at 13 to a married woman.

along his delivery route. Cool. Wow. I guess you're right, Gene. It's cool to be raped. Wow. I never thought about that. Did you guys ever write a song about that? About how it's cool to get raped? Actually, we wrote several of those songs.

Back in the day. Wow, yeah, just lovingly looking on at that 85-year-old man's fucking flat frog ass as he plays. He's not even playing half the time. Most of this shit's, like, piped in. He's the bassist. No offense to your bassists out there, but come on. Well, especially, well, the Kiss bass lines are not necessarily... He's no Robert Fripp. You know what I mean? Like, this isn't... What is it? Uh...

Crimson King. Oh, King Crimson. King Crimson. I love... Oh, that circus song is so good. It is good. The whole Lizard album. Get into it. But if he dies immediately, that'd be incredible. Ooh, Gene Simmons or this guy? This guy. I don't think he's going anywhere. He's got MS. He probably could be around for a while. Now he can't afford to die. Now, I mean, he's spending all his money. I think he was a cop.

Yeah, get tracks. You know, it's just the idea of giving him money to work is the most obnoxious thing where you really feel like you could you probably could have ended up backstage if you just found where he drank and told him you were a huge fan. Like, I really believe and I want to put this out here to anybody. And this is including us here at Last Podcast and Left. It's really easy to get backstage. Yeah.

You really just have to either act sick. Wear black. Yes, wear black. If he just was like, I have MS. I'd love to see your guitar. Someone's going to let you in there. No, actually, it works better with just a head nod and confidence. You don't think that if you go and you tell all these people that you're sick, like if I went up to, obviously not somebody young. You're not going to get back there with a Taylor Swift or something.

But I feel like if I walked up to Billy. REO Speedwagon. Easy. Very approachable. I'll stand on stage. I think that if I went up, the manager of REO Speedwagon. Oh, right in there. If I went up there and I said that I even had a cold, I'd be back there hanging out. You know what I mean? Coughing all over the amps. And this is because, again, that's what generosity is. Or, especially, if you have big, huge, great tits.

It really helps. It super helps. And if you're an old nurse with huge shits. But not as a guy. Not as a man, though, unfortunately. You never know these days. Well, yeah. I mean, I wore that bra yesterday for the Good Pud weed episode that's coming out. And I really did fill it up. You put on a bra for the weed episode? To fill it up.

Jackie and I are doing a new tradition where we're doing a switcheroo. Okay. So I had to dress like her. And she had to dress like you? Yes. Oh, that's good for her. And I had to go buy costumes. So I went around- Did you wear mesh? No, I just got a dress.

I'm going to say it's hard to find a XXXL mesh. And so I went out there and I found some stuff. Not on the internet, but I went and found some. And the people were so nice to me. Like I was buying a dress and this lady was like, are you sure that this is your size? And

She was being so sweet, like obviously trying to help me, like my transition or whatever. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is to make fun of women. Like this is like it used to be. Yeah, I don't even understand. This is how it used to be in a simpler time where a man would make fun of a woman by dressing at her and going, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. I would never.

And she didn't even know how to react to that. Yeah. But then I explained to her, I'm grieving. I have four more weeks of being deeply offensive. Yeah, no, you do. I thought you had almost four and a half weeks.

It's been a couple weeks since. A couple weeks? I've been told. Oh, interesting. Natalie keeps pointing to the calendar. Wow. She's really up to dates. This is your cutoff. Yeah, it is your cutoff. This is your cutoff. You've been saying some grieving things. Because, again, I'm grieving. I think she should be supporting you during your grief. She knows that if she supports me too much, I won't be as offensive as I need to be. She should be your brassiere. What do you mean? Oh, spiritually? Yeah. Your spiritual brassiere. After wearing one for a half an hour?

Never again. Really? I think dits should be free. You think so? I know some ladies say apparently it's better to feel it. You want to hike them up?

And I do feel like that, too, in a way. Well, I don't like boxer shorts for that reason. Same thing. I don't like my... I like boxer briefs. I like giving them a little support to the boys. Yes, I like hoist. And I do understand that some people need hoist if they're going around there. But it's what anybody's thrill is. If they're big and sweaty and they might cause a rash... No, it hurt. Yeah. It lines on me. My tits hurt and were hot. You should have got a bigger size, Macy. Look at my gunch. Wow. Wow.

Wow, you look great. No, I don't. I mean, you look better than I thought you would. You should put some stockings on, though. I'll tell you that much. No, I wanted people to see my Bavarian legs. Jackie doesn't wear... See, you're good in heels. Yeah, I can run heels. I can run, Jackie. I can fucking run around Jackie in circles and heels. People really don't know that about you is Henry's better in heels than most women. It's really surprising. I'm pretty good. Yeah. Natalie saw it. She was kind of shocked.

Speaking of, there was a, I wanted to do one other quick update. I completely forgot about this. Cool. Let's hear it. Joe Exotic from jail. Oh God. So Joe Exotic from jail. This update is pretty wonderful. So he got married in jail to a Mexican gentleman that in a bid to get President Trump's attention for a pardon, he ratted out to ICE. So his new husband who was then released from jail

was immediately deported to Mexico. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Joe Exotic ratted him out? Ratted his own husband out to ice. Whoa, I didn't know that part of the story. Yep. Got him deported. Now he's going to President Trump in the saddest series of tweets I've seen ever.

which she still has access to. It's really past time to have one of your people watch Tiger King season two, where they all admitted to perjury and plot to kill me on world television and let me out. Now, I know you are not fond of my lifestyle, but I supported you. Just allow me to go to Mexico with my husband.

Whoa. So he's like saying he's a tactic that he deported him to Mexico so that he could go be with him in Mexico after the fact, according to Joe Exotic. The private zoo sector in Mexico, I'm sure, is a little more loosey-goosey than ours. Dude, I bet you some of them are so private that they are public.

You know what I mean? We're just free-range tigers. Yeah. Yeah. So Joe Exotic, rough day getting around. The ICE agents didn't understand why he got sent back so fast. He had a hearing scheduled for tomorrow. Hey, Donald Trump, just let me go to Mexico and you can keep Carabascan.

You caper. So Joe ratted out his husband. Yes. Did they get actual married? Or is it just like, does he call him his husband? That I don't know. Here's another post from Joe Exotic. If they're actual married, shouldn't he be allowed to stay? No, not anymore. They're getting rid of all the stuff. So Joe Exotic, you know, I could die tomorrow and I could go knowing what true love was really all about. Jorge gave me the most loving and devoted 10 months of my life. Huh.

I pray God will give me the chance to experience life with him again. I went outside today and it was hard, but truly amazing how many people and gangs came up to me to check to see how I was holding up since he left. You know, they all respected us because we weren't the typical gay people just causing drama and bed hopping. They saw that we were real and serious about our devotion to each other, which is amazing that some of us are the worst of the worst society has to offer us all that in us.

Isn't that nice? The prison could have been much harder about it. But you know, for the most part, I have to say, they were pretty cool about us being side by side every day. We need to get some serious campaigns going to get Trump to let me go. No matter where I am, I'm fine with Mexico or America as long as I spend my last days with my Jorge.

Oh my God. Just send him to fucking Panama. Yep. Or El Salvador, rather. He just had to go. Well, he's looking for, he's angling on a pardon. P. Diddy's defense team is already angling for a pardon from Trump. But don't they, aren't there state charges in there? Doesn't matter. They'll pardon the rest of them. They can't pardon, yeah, but they're still going to be in there forever. If they get to, those are the hardest charges to get on P. Diddy. The worst part about the P. Diddy trial is the, it's, to be honest, it's so hard.

It's extremely depressing to watch. It's not a fun trial like the Lori Vallow Daybell trial. It basically is constantly asking you to ask the question of what's a victim and what's a co-conspirator. And these women are getting torn apart on the stands, going up there, spilling their whole lives. But they also like...

They did technically say a bunch of different stuff to a bunch of different people. And now, like, the hardest part is proving all the racketeering charges, which is this idea that P. Diddy was doing this before a certain number of other criminalities. Like, he was trafficking humans. He was also selling drugs. And you have to put it all together in one. He very well may beat the state charges. He might get other charges in there. He might get a couple years. And then Trump can just lop it off.

the top because he's specifically taking money for pardon. Yeah, racketeering takes a long time to prove. It takes almost a decade to put together the case. And they rushed this case. They rushed this case. So I have no idea what's going to happen until we have weeks left. I want to say this is week two of the P. Diddy trial. And they said they have six weeks of witnesses. The prosecution has, so that's going to be a lot. Oh yeah, so that's the sad little thing. You know who else is fighting for a pardon? Derek Chauvin.

Isn't that crazy? Well, he's one of those. He's still got state, and so he'll still have to stay in, even though. He has got state. Yeah, he's got 20-year state charges. Also, Derek Chauvin.

should be lucky he's in jail. Yes. Because I feel like he can be isolated in jail. That would be street justice. I think that motherfucker would have a target on his back for the rest of his life and that fucking piece of shit deserves it. Absolutely. Fuck him. Fuck Derek Chauvin. I hope that they are chasing him around jail right now. Put him in jetpack. Get him. Come on, get him. This one's kind of an update. Do you mind if I take one real quick? Sure. Um,

So, remember when I was talking about a couple, probably like two or three months ago, about the Haitian gangs that killed hundreds of old people because they thought that old people were witches and they put a curse on the gang leader's kid? Yes!

Well, there has been retribution for this. I haven't really covered the story as much as I wish I have. But so a Haitian woman who had lost family members to violent criminal gangs took her revenge by poisoning 40 gang members with tainted empanadas. So she straight up.

40 gang members. And she'd been like out there. They killed her family. They said apparently what she did was that she was local. She sold these things for, I don't know how to pronounce it. It's called like pâtés. Yes, yeah, pâtés probably. Pâtés. There's something, it's got a bunch of different... It's essentially a Haitian empanada. Yes, it's an empanada, which honestly, I'm looking at them. They look pretty good. I bet they're great. I love an empanada. And so she was known as a lady that would like

serve the community. She played it cool for months. Oh, yeah. That's a lady right there. She played it cool for fucking months. Oh, yeah, dude. And then one day she just gave all the gang members free empanadas. Oh, yeah. She just rolled up with a bunch of free empanadas. They were so excited to see it. And so she filled it all with some form of insecticide. Yes. And then they all...

Fucking vomited themselves to death. Yeah, like full on. I tell you what, though, that is not going to...

It's less than the suspicion of them being witches. No. That's for fucking certain. It's not going to make them nothing because that is a witch move. Yes. Well, they burned down her house and she turned herself into the cops. Well, dude, that was the other thing, too. She said that she ran to the police after she did it because she knew that she was a wanted woman. Yeah. Which is even like you're just hoping for the best with that situation as well, I'm sure. Oh, yeah. They immediately burned her house down. Yeah.

Yeah, so, I mean, this is just a crazy fucking thing. She killed 40 of them, and they all died. I mean, that is just fucking nuts. No, that is... Even the fact that it worked out effectively. Yeah. That's kind of wild to me. That you can actively poison 40 people correctly. Most people don't. It shows...

She really wanted it. And that really, again, every time you want to say you can't, you mean won't. Yeah. So the gang members were of Viv Anzanum. They're a Port-au-Prince gang affiliated with former policeman termed Crime Boss Jimmy Chazier. And he's also known as Barbecue.

Oh, yeah, yeah. The guy's name. This is the bad guy's name, right? The bad guy's name is known as Barbecue, and then he burned down our house. Yep. That makes sense. I mean, technically, that sounds like it's kind of his MO. I imagine this woman ain't going to last long, unfortunately. Well, they are deciding whether or not a guest to...

charge her with anything. They don't know what to charge her with, which is going to be murder. But then it sounds like she could end up being fucking the second she's in jail. Is she going to be torn apart? Probably. She might have to go away forever. She might have to go to another jail. I don't know what they do for people. Send her a candler.

Oh, wow. I think that's the only option. You can't send her here anymore, unfortunately. No, no, no. Yeah, so maybe Canada can take her or something. But what will they do? I think that's our best option. We've got to get this woman to Canada. I think that, I mean, it just sounds like, I mean, she's still a murderer. She's a vigilante murderer for sure. No question about it. She killed 40 people. So that's like... She straight up killed 40 people. That's somebody you might want to keep an eye on. Yes. But...

She also got nothing to lose. It sounds like she finally dealt with something that needed to get dealt with. Yes. And also, I will say, this is a very loosely written article from Oddity Central, so there might be some flaws to some of the things that I said. It's a short article, but I'm not 100% sure. Oh, no, Eddie.

Don't question. There's no way that this four paragraph article from odditycentral.com That's completely insane. There is no way that there is anything fake about it. Okay? I refuse to acknowledge that. But either way, a story is a story is a story. You know what? Why don't

We don't let the truth get in the way of a good story, Andy. Well, please, honestly, if you know more about this situation that's happening there... Side stories, lpotl at gmail.com. I'm deeply interested in everything that's happening there. It has a terrorist designation. Vive Ensemble. Yes. Is a part of the... It's considered a terrorist group. No, they've completely taken over. Yep, that is a thing. Well, also, the problem truly now, too, is all what is...

fucking messed up because we have the administration that we have and they're kind of obsessed with other people's gang activities. So yeah, well, we will see. MS-13, that could have been the guy who bought the Gene Simmons bag for $13,000. That's his nickname. That's probably what he called him all the time. What was his name? MS-13? Get him over here.

You got any more money? I want a sandwich. And that's 13 grand. Yeah. Honestly, I kind of already spent the 13 grand. Yeah. Let's talk to one of our, I want to talk about one of our major stories today, Eddie, which is Annabelle is out there. Yeah. And Annabelle's causing fucking problems. It's wild. She's out there, man. Lots of haunted doll stuff going down here. Yeah. I do want to say, you know, I'm sorry I missed your Robert the Doll presentation last week. He's right here.

No, it's nice to see him. Hi, Robert. You looking good, buddy? He likes you. Looking good. Fleet Week, huh? Yeah, baby. It is Fleet Week. And he gave him a little gift. No, he has that. That's his doll. Because Robert has a doll. Yeah, that's right. Oh, great. See, I love Robert. I feel so strong, to be honest with you. Ever since I've made my connection with Robert, I feel like my life's been going great. I feel like everything's up and going. He's my new best friend. Your current dog's still alive? Yeah, both of them are still going. Yeah, he's an ally. Yeah, everything.

Everything really has been great since Robert has entered my life. Yes. Except my father died. Well, I mean. That's for me, not for me. That's your problem. Yeah, it's different. I'm very sorry about that. No, but it is my problem. It's Sunday, the Black Lab, and George Wendt died. So that is something. All of them. It happens in threes. It does come in threes. It does come in threes. Just like, at least it's over. So, in creepy tall news. So Annabelle is on tour. Yeah. Jealous. Jealous.

Apparently she's doing Radio City Musical. But Annabelle's doll is on the Annabelle the doll. For those of you that don't remember, Annabelle was featured as the main antagonist from The Conjuring. Everybody knows who Annabelle is. Hey, fuck, he never knows. Fuck it, don't treat all my children. Every single time I don't describe it, someone's like...

Honestly, if you don't know who Annabelle the doll is... How did you find yourself here? If you are still listening, turn it off. Yes. We don't want you. Yeah, you know what? I'm done. I'm done with you. So, Ed,

Lorraine Warren's occult museum. Apparently other items from it as well are on tour. It's because it's closed. Yes. And like, I think the Warren boy is taking it all around. Yeah. So one of them is getting one last bit of money. But the issue was, which is that every ghost hunter said, you know, we have a lot of conflicting stories because I've talked to like the Newkirk,

and people that are now more in the newer versions of occult thought. And the idea of cursed objects really holding any specific power anywhere is kind of like

up to debate deciding whether or not like is it your belief in it is it someone's specific relationship with something does it all come is every single piece of paranormal activity coming from inside our brains yeah right and that thing is just like a focal point who knows but every other ghost hunter said leave annabelle alone wow annabelle is in what you say it is

It should be on tour. It's like what they did to Amy Winehouse. What do you mean? When they put her... They worked her to death. Oh, she worked... She had a dark streak. Oh, come on. They worked her to death and she had a dark streak. They worked Ralphie Mae to death. She did too many drugs. I mean, Ralphie Mae definitely...

He died of pneumonia. He did the non-toxic aversion of what that lady did to all of the gang members in Haiti, where he died by empanada. And I love Ralphie May. He was a full-on appetizer victim. And that's not his fault. That's just where he got to. He had problems. He did that. Fly from your grave.

Welcome to Birch Lane, where you can find a fresh take on classic furniture and decor. Every piece is handpicked and crafted to last for years to come. At Birch Lane, you can explore everything from outdoor sets to living room furniture and everything in between, and get fast, free shipping. It's classic style for joyful living. Shop now at birchlane.com.

Thank you.

RxBAR, the proud sponsor of No BS. Use code RxBAR on RxBAR.com for 25% off. Subject to full terms and conditions and to change. Valid until September 30, 2025 and may not be combined with other offers. See RxBAR.com for full details and limitations.

What if I told you that right now, millions of people are living with a debilitating condition that's so misunderstood, many of them don't even know that they have it. That condition is obsessive compulsive disorder, or OCD. I'm Dr. Patrick McGrath, the Chief Clinical Officer of NoCD. And in the 25 years I've been treating OCD, I've met so many people who are suffering from the condition in silence, unaware of just what it was. OCD can create overwhelming anxiety and fear around what you value most, make you question your identity,

beliefs, and morals, and drive you to perform mentally and physically draining compulsions or rituals. Over my career, I've seen just how devastating OCD can be when it's left untreated.

But help is available. That's where NoCD comes in. NoCD is the world's largest virtual therapy provider for obsessive compulsive disorder. Our licensed therapists are trained in exposure and response prevention therapy, a specialized treatment proven to be incredibly effective for OCD. So visit NoCD.com to schedule a free 15-minute call with our team. That's NoCD.com.

So Annabelle, she's out there, right? So now she's on tour. But because she's on tour, there's been a series of events that have been in the same area where Annabelle has been on tour. Yeah, New Orleans. Number one was the burndown of the Nottoway Plantation, which is some big plantation. Yeah. It burnt down while she was there.

I don't know if she had gasoline on her. Yeah. Bringing Annabelle down there is not a way to keep that thing standing. No. No. I do... Nothing. How do you say this? It's not that I like...

the concept and look of a plantation home. Yes. Go ahead. All the stuff with it. Yeah, it comes with baggage. I like the wraparound porches. I love a wraparound porch. I love the field where you can just have so much room for activities. That's one of my favorite things about a plantation is just all the room. Mm-hmm. You know? Are you allowed to build a new home that looks like a plantation home, or is that also bad? Yeah.

If it has no history. If it's a brand new home. But it looks just like an antebellum mansion. Sidestories. L-P-O-T-L at gmail.com. What's the moral code? Yeah, what's the moral code on that one? I guess they ask the audience. Because I wonder if we can rebuild it to be a... You can put up pictures of Harriet Tubman. You can put up pictures of George Washington Carver. You can put up pictures of Cory Booker. Yeah. All sorts of stuff on the walls to sort of show people I'm cool. Yeah. Right? Yeah.

But Annabelle's not. Annabelle was not having... Well, unless this is super liberal of Annabelle. I think it is. She burned down the plantation. She's anti-hate. And then also, she liberated a jail. Well...

This is the issue. So now there has been a, tonight there's going to be a jailbreak. Yeah. Right? Yeah, dude. Somewhere in this town. Tonight there's going to be a jailbreak. And so you better not be around. Right? Because they're going to fucking group rape you. Now, this is different. This story is like. No, it's a jailbreak. This is bad. They don't have a taste for butt yet. We have to be careful with this crew. Right? So seven guys escaped.

From the, this was in the Orleans Parish Sheriff's Office. Yeah, the parish jail. Yes, the OSPSO or whatever, the O-P-E-S-O, whatever it is, the Orleans Justice Center. So seven guys, very dangerous criminals. 11. 11.

Was it 11? Yes. But like a couple of murderers, a couple of guys with some sexual assaults, a couple of guys like these are this is a bad crew of dudes. They removed the toilet from a wall inside of the Justice Center.

Ran out of it, but before leaving, they wrote the message too easy, unspelled, misspelled, T-O-E-Z. They definitely misspelled it. An L-O-L. Yeah, too easy, L-O-L, which is like everyone was laughing about it. Today, they caught the guy, the maintenance guy that helped them that shut off the water. And now these guys are free. I think they got two of them.

I mean, it's always changing. But they had a 24-hour lead time because they spent... Oh, yeah, that's right. They did all this. I forgot they blurred out all the other stuff. They said they blurred out the we. They wrote we innocent. Someone says I'm innocent. They scratched out I'm. They wrote we. Yeah.

Then wrote, fuck OPSO, suck my dick OJC. Yeah, yeah. You know, most hated. The guy drew his eyeballs on it. He drew most hated. They had time, obviously. Yes. To do a bunch of doodles. But the main issue is that the doodles are funny and the sentiment is fun, but the men are extremely dangerous. Yes. And the other problem is, is that, I want to say this to anybody. If somebody is in jail for multiple murder counts...

And yeah, you're in jail with them now. Like, you're hanging out. You're a maintenance guy. You're hanging out with them. One dude was tied to a mass shooting during Mardi Gras. That's the worst place to get tied to. Un-nut him. If you're working with any of these guys, you just gotta know...

They're like not gonna uphold their end of the bargain. Yeah. If you believe in the men that are fueled by Annabelle's power, that they are going to, I guess, pay you money later on, or they're going to hook up something for a family member after this for you, if you just help them out.

they're not gonna do it. You're gonna be left carrying the bag. These guys are, they were scot-free for 24 hours. They had no idea they were there because they fucked up the night head count. Yeah. And so they just fucked it up and they said the guy whose job was to watch, this is true, the guy whose job it was to watch the night surveillance cameras, it was his one job, he left the office to grab a snack and

I believe he went to Raising Cane's and then went and then

left the cameras unoccupied and they just ran out. He's probably in on it too. You watch this other thing. You're seeing they're all tugging on this one door trying to get out and you see guys just walk past like, I don't want to. And then you guys see other guys trying to help them get the door open, which is really fun, but then they just stay. Listen, I love New Orleans. I think New Orleans is a wonderful place. It's one of the best places on the face of the fucking planet. But here's the problem with New Orleans, and if I'm speaking, get a turn. I know I'll get

my ass handed to me. They don't fix nothing. No. They don't fix anything in New Orleans. It's all just, if it's broke, it stays broke until something, a disaster happens. It's deteriorating. New Orleans is just, it's hard because it's a... Preservation Jazz Hall is crumbling. It's called Preservation Hall. It is. New Orleans needs an injection of cash.

That's not just covered in cocaine. And this lady is just really a very, very upset about the Susan Hudson, who was the sheriff saying it's impossible to break out from the justice center without help. And so she's not wrong, but I also, again, to bring it back to Epstein, uh,

Oh, there we go. Because these guys are doorfully involved with Epstein. I'm just saying that if I was watching one expert talk about Epstein and his death, and they were saying, if you walked into that prison where Epstein was, where we held, I believe, El Chapo,

I think a couple of super high-level criminals. Well, he's getting his family back now. Thank God. I know he missed them. Like El Nino, his son. La Nina, his daughter. And they... His grandpa, El Papa. El Papa, you see? And so, again, it's like they said, if you walked into that jail and you said...

the most elite criminals in the world are held here, you would be very frightened. Yeah. Because it's falling apart.

It's staffed by big, fat, dumb idiots. Huge idiots. They don't know what they don't give a fuck. They literally were going out for raising canes. They weren't even going out for good New Orleans food. They just got fast food. Seriously, it's just a job. Like, it's just a job to them. So this idea that you think that each person inside of a prison is the most devout person

warrior of justice, just understand that there's a lot of lapses. There's a lot of problems inside of these private jails because they're specifically using money to not... They're taking the money. They're not fixing the jail. The fact that you could pop the toilet out of the wall...

is too easy. It is too easy. And that's why it was greased. Too easy. Too easy. It was too easy. And that's the reason why it had to be greased. Greased by the magic of Annabelle. Because now Annabelle is sadly and very frighteningly is on its way to Rhode Island. And I want the people of Providence to know that you need to batten up your hatches, whatever hatches you have to be battened. Prisons need to be watched extra.

And know that, I mean, I, for love of Christ, I think, isn't Rhode Island known for hot dogs? You know, I messed up. It's not Rhode Island. It's actually Rock Island, Illinois. And it's Rock Island Roadhouse in Rock Island, Illinois. You can see where I fucked up when I read. Rock? It's going to a place called...

Annabelle is going to a Rock Island roadhouse? Yeah, because she wants to meet the ghost of Patrick Swain. Who doesn't? Who doesn't? Apparently can't dance her way out of cancer. Oh, no. So that's another haunted location, the Rock Island roadhouse.

Ah, yes. You see, that's fine. You can bring her to a already haunted place. The Devil's on the Run tour. With Annabelle. Annabelle is featured like she's the lead singer of Evanescence. I have no idea why they're like, Annabelle. It's not like she's singing a song or doing time. She's literally just going to sit in a little chair and you have Josh Purvis.

Oh, who are these guys? Anyway, Rock Island Roadhouse, October 4th, 2025. Get your tickets.

Lots of the Warren's Occult Museum is going to be there. And the... Oh, he's some kind of ghost investigator, John Purvis. Yes, of course he is. Why else would he fucking be there? Probably, I don't know. Maybe he'd be a doll guy. Oh, man. I was asking Robert the Doll about Annabelle, and he was like, that messy bitch? Woo, shit. He's just like, yeah, she wants it, but I don't fucking need to get it. You know what I mean? No, I know what you mean, Robert.

You got to be careful with these girls you travel around. You're a sailor. Well, he is a lady, actually. Remember? He's got the ghost of a little girl inside of him. But we all do. Yes. Love you, Robert. Love you, Robert. No disrespect. I love you so much, Robert. No disrespect. Of course there's no disrespect.

Real quick, right before we get in here, this guy, I want to cover real quick the Casper cereal biter. All right. I got another quick one after that. You do Casper. I believe this is Casper. This is Neutrona. I don't know what state this is in. This isn't a bad place, whatever it is. It's not good. It's a guy who bites people professionally. Now, this guy with his fucking charmer by the name of Andrew Barrett is

He nearly bit the finger off of a Natrona County Sheriff's Office on Deputy Tuesday. And so he was put into court over Zoom. Yeah. And he said that as he was...

talking, he'd start going, and he'd bark a lot. And he started barking, and flicking his tongue in and out like he was a hot dog. Yeah. And then he said that his, they asked him how he, you know, he said something, he's like, hi, my name is Andrew Barrett, I'm a crocodilian. And they said that he was mainly, he was caught with marijuana. And he would caught, but he hit the cop. MF, MF.

Yeah, I think the meth was doing the heavy lifting. Yeah, we don't want to give weed a bad name here. No, no. But sometimes weed makes you hungry. Banner Wyoming Medical Center. Sometimes you just get fucking hungry, dude. Yeah, oh yeah. I can see it being munchies. When I see a fucking cop with big, thick old sausage fingers, sometimes it's like, oh, god damn. Give us a nibble. Do you think he keeps mustard in his pockets? I mean, it smells like it.

Barrett's on parole for serving prison time for aggravated assault and battery charge. So that involved his previous charge was in 2021. He bit the tip off of an index finger of a Banner Wyoming Medical Center employee. This guy's got the

Like, that's jaw strength. Cereal biter, yeah. Like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I hope his dentist is, like, using this as good press. Honestly, he is. He's a heck of a, he's a hungry boy, a heck of a boy, and he's just trying to get a little chomp of a nurse. So the cop's finger, did you read about that? No. He bit the top of it and, like, bit down to the bone and then peeled back the meat. And so the bone was still there. Yeah, it is. But he, like, ripped off everything else, apparently. It's a cool name for a fucking cop to make.

come bone finger. That's funny. Because I wouldn't change. I'd never fix it. I mean, I don't... I just have that one little bone finger and be like... You can fix it. But they should lop it off. Oh, yeah. I think they put putty on it or something. Can you put a cap on it? You have to seal the wound for sure. But you bite it off and then if it's just meat, I'm pretty sure you have to saw the bone. You can't just...

Sidestorieslpoto at gmail.com. It's cool if you could put a little cap on it. It would be cool if you could put a little cap on it, but I don't see how you screw a cap into flesh. It just goes over like a big condom. Sure. And then what you do is, but then you pull it off when you mean business. Then like, you better watch it before I tickle you with my bone finger. Well, they gave him a $100,000 cash bond. Yeah, they said, can you think that you'd be able to make that bond? And he says, I'm just a guy struggling to get by.

I ain't going nowhere. They're like, we know, sir. We know they are letting him go. But that's what happens when he's a hungry boy and he just likes a little chompy chomp. Yeah. Oh, man. I've never bit anybody.

You know a better person? I've been bit. Chris Blakely bit me in the eye. Really? Yeah, because he pushed me and then I hit him in the face with my baseball glove. And then he attacked me and bit me in the eye. And then we fought on the baseball field. My mom was there and she was saying, he's got AIDS. He's biting my son. He's got AIDS. Yeah, did he? I don't think so. But he did die.

Of what? I imagine he died of drugs if I were to guess, but I don't know for sure. Yeah, I could guess that. I know he was in some kind of a car accident and got a bunch of money from the settlement. Oh, that's fun. Yeah. That's fun for him. And got trashed. But then, yeah, that was a problem that seemed to be bad for him.

Is that him? Some people can have money straight up. Largo, Florida. Wow. April 30th, 2024. That's the guy? That is literally the guy that bit you on the eye is that we're looking at his obituary right now? No, this isn't him. Okay. This isn't him. That's pretty good. That's close. I'm pretty close. Yeah, he's 39. Well, no, he would be 81. I think he was a year older than me, so he might be 80. So, yeah, this guy's...

This isn't the Chris Blakely I knew that died. And the guy I knew that died, died a while ago. So it's not him. Not as exciting then, I guess. Not as exciting. No. So, all right, well. Yeah. Just don't bite anybody. I guess maybe we should bleep his name. Whatever. Just because, well, fuck him. He's dead. Yeah, that's right. And he bit me. So fuck him.

Yeah, right. I had another story I was going to tell, but it's too sad to end the show on, I think. Which one? The one where the guy killed his wife and his two girls because he wanted a boy and she was pregnant with another girl. Yeah, that's pretty sad. So he just killed everybody. Yeah, it's pretty sad. Yeah, you guys can read about that on your own time. Yeah, you go enjoy that on your own. And then also, if you want to just come by my house, I'll tell you all about Jeffrey Epstein.

So if you just happen to find my address on the internet, which you can pretty easily, you just come by the house and see if you can handle it. And if you want to have sex with some dogs, we've hired Jeffrey Pupstein to be at the show this weekend. Jeffrey Pupstein is not fucking dogs. He's just bringing dogs that are willing to fuck. All right, listen.

They're gonna fucking cancel the event. That's what's gonna happen after this. They're literally just gonna cancel the event. What are you talking about? They're gonna be like, all we've talked about is fucking and murdering dogs. We're selling dogs over here! That's what I'm saying.

I'm trying to create urgency to get the dogs. Yeah! That's like, just adopt the dogs. All the stuff I said about them immediately killing them is not true. Prince Andrew's gonna be there. Yep. My buddy. My buddy. Hey.

Just call him Andy. My favorite guy. Did you guys see who they caught, by the way? Who? The cucumber sex guy. Oh, the guy fucking stuck himself in the butthole with the cucumber. Guy fucking the cucumber. Yes. They got him. They got him. Wow. Hey, case closed. Wow, another...

You know, I say, Matt, boy, Peppino. They really were working on finding him, huh? How you say? How you say? Hey.

How you say? I saw the man. Me and Alec went for a long walk the other day. First, he tell me about the killing woman. And I say, oh, Alec, don't be sad today. It's happy day. And I saw the man. He fuck the cucumber. I think you call it cucumber. He say, oh, he make a special Greek salad with his special home recipe tzatziki that he squish inside of the cucumber.

I love Hilaria. Yeah. That fucking white woman. I forgot about how Rachel Dolezal the other day looked it up for Jackie. I forgot that Rachel Dolezal had changed her name to Ndeke Diallo. I forgot that that still holds. Yeah, I mean, she should have done that in the first place. Yeah, she should have. If you want to just lead with that. All right, we got some stories. A little backstory. I was 17 years old at the time, living in a small rural town on the Illinois side of the Wisconsin-Illinois border. You were living in Illinois.

That is, anybody that lives in the Illinois border is living in Illinois. It doesn't matter what state you're right next to. Yeah. Good point. Derailed. Very tough. Nothing really there. Lots of corn and darkness. So it can be a pretty spooky backdrop to reality, especially when you were as smoked out as your gourd as I was. No weed for me now because I'm a firefighter. Pussy. Pussy.

I think you could fucking do it, Stone. Yeah. Every Friday night. It's half fire. Like, just light your joint and spray it. Yeah. Every Friday night, I would go hang out with my older sister, eight years my senior, while her boyfriend worked nights at the local Chrysler auto plant. We'd get chibed out, watch scary movies, and make some munchies. Some of the best times of my life. My sister's house was creepy as fuck, though, sometimes.

They bought it from a single seven-year-old male who, from what neighbors said, would host Halloween parties for the neighborhood children with a spooky maze into the basement for their prize of candy. Or in my speculation, maybe some diddling. That's on you. You never know. Some people just like Halloween. Yeah. And they're not always molesting. Sometimes when they're molesting, it's not on Halloween because then that ruins Halloween for them because then Halloween becomes work. They molest on Easter. Still candy. Yeah.

The basement had a weird closet with a tiny door for a peephole, right? Where an average height male could look through for whatever reason. Again, he's just checking to make sure they only take one Snickers. There was a small man-made pond in the background and when we drained it, there was a marble bust of a head in a classic Greek Roman style tied with a chain around the neck to a cinder block. It's weird shit. Weird guy. It's probably haunted in some sort.

So this particular night seemed no different than any other night as we settled into our routine. Just me, sis, her big cat. With a feast of homemade quesadillas and many rips out of the bong, we watched a documentary on Mr. Unabomber himself. Then my sister asked me to empty the bong, place it in a closet in the back room of the basement to keep it out of sight of her stepdaughter when she came home over the weekend.

I took the bong, emptied it in the kitchen sink, and started on my way downstairs. I had to duck because the ceiling above the stairs was too short for me and immediately turned right where you can see in the living room area. And against the far wall is a sliding glass door that leads outside to the backyard.

Taking my right turn into a full 180, I walked through a utility hallway to a back bedroom where I placed the bong in a cardboard box alongside my other high school smoking essentials. I then head back the way I came, thinking nothing of anything really, but then I turned my head to the right towards the sliding glass door and I immediately froze. The only other time I felt this was when I came face to face with a moose while hunting in Colorado.

What I saw moving in front of the glass door was a black, bipedal, dangly creature with bright green eyes about three to four feet tall. The goblin, what I believe it to be, was almost scaly in appearance, and we made eye contact for what felt like forever. In an instant, it bolted towards the far wall, not towards me, but my feet fell. My feet felt like they were glued to the carpet.

It hid behind the side of an old couch, and I noped the fuck out of there, hitting my head in the low ceiling on the way up. I immediately reported what I saw to my sister, who said I was just stoned, and it was the cat. I refute her claim immediately, pointing out that the cat was sitting on her lap. There's no way in hell I would have made it upstairs without me noticing, and that fucking cat is now four feet tall.

I tell the story to as many friends as people as I can tell, and in the words of Henry, I know what I saw. Yeah, well, I think you gotta smoke weed again, fire cop. I mean, you might need to, because if you're seeing goblins on weed, dude, that's fucking crazy, man. Yeah, that shit's free. Yeah, if I want to see goblins, I just go to my algorithm. Yeah, no, that's the problem. They're right there. Or I just walk the streets of Los Angeles, because I've learned to live every day knowing that I am a goblin, too.

And I love my goblin community. They've reached out to me in my time of need. And I know that my father and I would laugh. The goblin activity that I've seen. And oh my God, he would love to arrest those goblins as much as any police officer ever could have arrested anyone. And I wish that for him. No. I wish that he could have arrested Tammy Hull. Oh. Just for the sake of him being able to take her down. You would have been half Tammy if that happened.

Wow, yeah. You think that she would have flipped that on my father? I think so. I think my father liked a softer woman. I don't think you have a choice, though, when it comes to Tammy. When she gets her eyes on you, you're hers. Her pussy's a dick. We have big

here at patreon.com slash lastpodcasts on the left. You can pay us money and you can see us do stuff out loud. And in person. And you can go to twitch.tv slash lpntv. Right now our streams are on pause. They are going to be back on soon. Except for last stream on the left. That never goes anywhere. That's going to stay the same no matter what we do. Go to lastpodcasts on the left.com. Buy tickets for our live shows. You have to. Contact in the desert is coming up immediately.

And you need to come see it. Oh, God. You're dying. Come fucking see it. Yeah, it's the last... It's May 29th through June 2nd, Contact in the Desert. Yes. So come out to that. It's a Palm Desert, the Renaissance Resort. You're going to have a lot of fun. Henry and I are just going to be walking around getting drunk with a bunch of people with...

Oh, yes. But also know that we are going to be doing our comedy night, which is a first for them, doing a purely comedy time. And we are going to legitimately, we might really upset them.

I think they'll have a great time. Yeah, I'm excited. Well, we got Amber and Billy Wayne Davis are coming. Oh, yeah. It's going to be a blast. We are going to have a fucking blast. Cannot wait to go see us at Contact in the Desert. Also, go to buy us, buy tickets for CrimeWaveAtSea.com. Yes. That is for our true crime podcast.

that we're doing. Departs out of Fort Lauderdale, Florida, November 3rd through the 7th on Royal Caribbean Cruise Line. So come enjoy that. And we got some more. We're about to announce some more side stories, Dade. So keep listening and find out if we're coming to your city. Got some interesting towns picked out. I'm very excited. Yes. Also, I got an announcement. I got a show on August 21st out here in Los Angeles called Dead Men Tell Some Tales.

Oh, yes. A deep dive into Disney's dark history. That's going to be Thursday, August 21st at 7.30 p.m. at the Elysian Theater. I'm doing this show with my buddy, Disney Dan Becker. It's going to be a lot of fun. We're going to talk about everyone who's ever died at the Disney parks and joke about it. It's going to be interesting. It's just in time for the beginning of the Oogie Boogie Bash. So if you're going to that, come to this as well. It's going to be a lot of fun. Tickets available on eddytoons.com.

Yeah, come check us out. You guys are going to be fun. I like this guy. No, he's going to be great. He's going to be great. I wanted you to meet him. He came to the Orlando show. Yeah, he seemed like a nice guy. Can't wait for him to see his wares. Natalie likes him. Oh. Natalie thinks she enjoys his Disney content. There we go.

There we go. Cross over. Cross over. All right, you fuckers. Thank you guys for all of your support. This has been Side Stories. And it's been great, hasn't it? Yes. Let's get those orcas out of their can. Do some fucking work. Somebody else do it, though. I mean, someone else has to do it. They clearly abandoned them. Yeah, someone. I mean, you know. Honestly, I don't know who's going to fit the bill to get these orcas out of here. You know who could use some really, really good press? Who?

P. Diddy. P. Diddy. And he's got the money. Yeah. So. I'm looking at you, P. Diddy. Do you think they drink baby oil? I mean, they'll have to.

Welcome to Birch Lane, where you can find a fresh take on classic furniture and decor. Every piece is hand-picked and crafted to last for years to come. At Birch Lane, you can explore everything from outdoor sets to living room furniture and everything in between, and get fast, free shipping. It's classic style for joyful living. Shop now at birchlane.com.

Thank you.

RxBAR, the proud sponsor of No BS. Use code RxBAR on RxBAR.com for 25% off. Subject to full terms and conditions and to change. Valid until September 30, 2025 and may not be combined with other offers. See RxBAR.com for full details and limitations.