Dax Shepard: Apex Brad
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Hello, everybody. Welcome to Literally. We have one of the greatest podcasters out there today, Mr. Dax Shepard, joining us today. And by the way, not only a great podcaster, and I do mean great, as you'll see, he's just a genius. I could listen to Dax and do all day long, but a great actor, truly great actor, comedy, drama, comedy,

You know, he's got that beautiful wife, kids. He's got it all going on. He's one of my one of my favorite people I've never met in the flesh. How about that? The great Dax Shepard is joining us right now.

I'm recording. I'm ready to party. You look good. You got something going under your eyes that I like. Is that just glistening? Is that lighting? Are you wearing eye gel thingamabobs? Concealer? I'm not wearing any makeup. I got up. I got my girls on Zoom. There was an all-school meeting, which threw a wrench into things. I'm not wearing any makeup.

And then I've arrived here and this is a interview number two. So the fact that my eyes are holding up in any capacity, I appreciate you noticing. I, I will listen, you know, I'm a, I'm a connoisseur of handsome men. Oh my God. And, uh, I watermark. I'm I, well, I'm actually, I think the parliamentarian of the handsome men's club, Jimmy Kimmel's handsome men's club. That's quite an honor. Isn't it though? Uh, he,

He calls me in for more of the blue-collar stuff. If he needs a dipshit who can't guess some scientific thing, that's when I get asked to come participate. We all have our lanes. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Anyone that ends with a paycheck, I'm fine with. Yeah. Oh, bro. Hello. I remember I used to be friendly with Dennis Miller, and it was when celebrities didn't really do that many commercials, and he did an M&M's commercial. I was like, uh...

Saw your M&M's commercial? And he was like, babe, for an extra 100K, I would have been inside the shell. That's a good Dennis Miller. Really? I thought it was weak cheese. You're just a gracious man. It was nice. You're very gracious. You know, I don't know why I did never put together that you were in Idiocracy, which is, dude. Okay, I remember reading that script.

And thinking this is the most brilliant script I've ever read. And then I think they couldn't maybe get the money for it for a long time. And I forgot about it. And then, of course, it came out and is it's interesting. It's not as good as the script for whatever reason. Would you would you agree with that? Well, let me just start by saying I agree with you. I read it and I was like, this is the single best script I've ever read in my life.

comedically. I had also read Pulp Fiction for fun, and that's better. But, you know, comedically, yeah, I had never read anything as funny as that. And I had been doing some...

of King of the Hill at the time. And Mike and I had kind of hit it off and we would sometimes have lunch when I would record those. And he did not see me in that role in any way. I had to beg him to audition for it because he had pictured a very rotund person. And I said, well, look, I can, I'll gain weight, whatever. He granted me an audition, thank goodness. And then I went in and I did that stupid character and bowled him over and I got it.

And yes, was it executed as good as the script? No, but he had $30 million to do a movie set in the future with garble lances and stuff. So, yeah, you know, I don't know that he could have done better with the budget he had, but we agree on the fact that that's the best script maybe ever. And

Had I not read the script and had the imagination of having $200 million to make it, I would never know the difference. And I would just think this movie is amazing. And it is amazing. And it doesn't seem as crazy, obviously. I'm not the first person to do the math on that. Well, I'm sure you've had this experience where it's like there's all these waves of how you – your perception of a project. Yeah.

We went and did it. It then sat on a shelf for like a year and a half, maybe two years. It never tested well. They were not going to release it, but contractually, they had to put it in X amount of theaters per Mike's contract. And then...

I just go, okay, well, no one's ever going to see this movie. So that's a bummer. And I had an opportunity to have been in a movie at the exact same time that ended up being an enormous movie. So I kind of think, oh, well, I blew that one. And then over time, it turns out everyone sees it. And that's crazy. And maybe more people talk about that than the other movie that had been big at the time. So then my perception shifts.

And like you, when I first saw it, I was like, oh, it's a little, I want it to be, I wish they had more money. Right. But now I also go, oh no, part of the charm of it and part of the junkiness of it, which is the commentary of where we're going. Now I'm like, oh, that kind of seems brilliant. So it's just funny how many iterations you can have of something you've been in. That's one of the great things about

I mean, if that had happened to that movie when I was coming up in the business, it would be over and that would be it. You'd never see it again. That's right. That's right. People would be at parties going, you never saw it? No, that Rob Lowe movie, he rides an elephant from Indiana to Georgia. Yeah. No, I never saw it. And I guess I'll never will.

I'm thrilled that you saw my elephant movie. Well, because I've scrubbed it from my IMDb. But, you know, that kind of it shouldn't have been surprising because that's kind of what Mike's thing is. So he had done Office Space and Office Space didn't. No one saw it in the movie theater. And yet I can't think of a movie that's more ubiquitous than that movie. So it weirdly like that.

What an interesting niche he has in movies that that's what he does. He releases something that kind of gets missed and then, you know, it gets discovered and cherished. He's such a genius. And it's not like it's not like he doesn't get the credit. He gets plenty of credit. I mean, people know Mike Judge. He's done just fine. But I don't think he gets the credit.

Well, I mean, I, I, you know what I'm saying? I mean, I think that guy is beyond. Well, and he is in so many ways people might not know about. Like when I went to Austin to do that movie, I went to his office and there was probably 35 instruments in his office. And I said, um, what do you collect instruments? And he goes, no, I like to play, you know, um, pretty much everything.

And I'm like, you can play all these instruments. And he goes, yeah, I mean, yeah. And this motherfucker sat down and played like 12 of the instruments for me. And I'm talking, he can play a harpsichord. He can blow bagpipes. You know, like he really, he's kind of a musical savant. And then you come to find out, oh, he was a physicist before he was making cartoons. I mean, he has a very scientific mind.

Yeah, he's kind of a phenom. No kidding. God. Yeah. And he's handsome as hell.

Mike Judge. What a stud. What a guy. Is he your neighbor? Oh, no, you're in Santa Barbara. I'm in Santa Barbara. And you're in Austin. Yes. Are you? Where are you? No, I wish. I'm in Los Feliz. Oh, Los Feliz, Austin. It's all the same. Well, it's funny you'd say that. But if I had to compare, if I had to say, what's the Austin of L.A.? It is the Los Feliz. No, it really is. There's a good vibe. It truly is. I saw a quote of yours the other day that made me laugh where you and

And, you know, I don't know if you're quoted properly or not, but you were like, I was always more excited about being on talk shows than actually acting. And I was like, I kind of get that. I don't know if you didn't say you should claim that you said it because it's good. It's really funny. Well, and just full disclosure, embarrassing disclosure as a kid. You know, I interviewed so many people who knew they wanted to be an actor at a very young age. And I certainly did not know that you did. Yeah. Yeah.

But I so I had no dreams of being an actor, but I regularly sat in front of the mirror while combing my hair and I answered questions from Dave Letterman. Like I just was certain somehow he would be interested enough in me to speak to me. And at that time, I don't know, because I could jump a BMX bike really far or something. I don't even know what reason I had in those moments. But yeah.

I don't think I've ever rehearsed anything more in my mind than being interviewed by David Letterman. And I almost think I just had to figure out a route to his couch. And I'll say when I finally was sitting there staring at his face, it was maybe the most surreal moment I've had professionally. I was like, by God, here we go. Let's talk about my BMX jumps.

And it's like, and I love David Letterman as much as the next guy, but not the easiest person to be interviewed by sometimes. Well, that's what's great is if you're like a real student of his, you know when he likes people. Oh, yeah. And I got to say, like, midway through, I just looked at his face and I was like, oh, my goodness. He likes me. Like, he genuinely likes me. And I just, it was very out of body experience.

To me, I was I don't think I've ever been as giddy on television as I was like once it clicked. Oh, he kind of he thinks this is funny. He thinks I'm, you know, whatever he thought, but he was kind. And then in the breaks, he spoke to me disparagingly about other guests, which I thought was the ultimate sign of like, oh, he really likes me. Yeah.

I got to tell you one really funny thing about that Letterman appearance was I, at the time, Punk'd was maybe at its pinnacle. Things were happening that already defied explanation. So I was ratcheting up my opinion of myself so quickly. Yeah.

Because the show kind of aired. And then I remember taking a bicycle ride in Santa Monica, like only three days after it aired. And like a handful of people screamed my name because I used my real name on that show. So I was like, wait a minute. This really happened like three days ago. No one knew me. And now I'm riding a bike and people know me. And then I went to New York. I was doing other press and people had kind of gathered outside of TRL because that was the demo. So yeah.

My self-assessment is very askew at this moment. So I pull up to Letterman's back entrance to enter, and I'm in a black suburban. And Rob, there are over 1,000 people. I bet you there's 1,500 to 2,000 people. There's barricades. And...

As I get out, the crowd is starting to really gain momentum and they're screaming. And I like open the door and I think, oh my God, this is happening. And then there was an immediate collective reaction.

Ah, it's not him. Ah, put your cameras away. Like people were super upset. And it's because Tom Cruise was the first guest. And so all those people were there for Tom Cruise. And then, so I was kind of greeted by 1500 people that were super disappointed. It was me that got out of the suburban. So I think I was carrying that a little bit as a chip on my shoulder. And so when I am the commercial break with Dave, I said,

You know, I got to say, I feel like you're kind of you just introduced the new Ferrari and now you've brought up the Ford Taurus. Look, it's got wipers. Like I was kind of bagging on myself compared to Tom Cruise and he goes, oh, fuck Tom Cruise. And I was like, oh, great. Great, great, great. I can see him saying I.

It's funny. I was okay on talk shows, I think. And then I got to be, I think, kind of good on them. And then ended up wanting to have my own. And here we are. But the fork in the road happened on Letterman. Tell me. And, you know, so a lot of people think that the conversations that the stars have with

Jimmy Kimmel and Fallon and Ellen are just conversations. And you know, there's this process called the pre-interview. And in the pre-interview, you talk to their producer and it goes like this. Hey,

Hey, Rob. Ellen's really excited to have you on the show. It's going to be great. This will be your 16th time on the show. So, like, what's been going on? Like, what did your family do for Christmas? Uh-huh. Yeah, we opened presents. Great, great. So, do you have any funny stories about 9-1-1 Lone Star? Like, are you guys doing some crazy, like, hijinks on that thing? You got anything you can tell me? My favorite question is pranks.

Who's the biggest prankster on set of 9-1-1 Lone Star? Yeah. It's like, like, do you ever like try to pull just like, like, like live Tyler's hair or something like that? Not really. And then it's like, okay, so we play a little game. Are you cool playing a game? So we play a little game called, uh,

And guess the geography and you're going to wear a silly hat and dance. And then you're going to like, fucking what? I just want to talk. Can I just not talk to Ellen? Yeah. Or Jimmy Kimmel. Can I just not talk to them? No, you have to do a little more than that. No, no, no, no. It's not good enough to have you on. And so there's this, and it's really elaborate. Right. And the Letterman pre-interview, and I'm not being facetious here,

I remember because I was on a cell phone and I was living in Malibu. It took from the time I drove to Malibu to LAX, then got on a flight, flew to New York, and then resumed it in New York. So I was on with this Letterman producer. Oh, my God.

For conservatively two hours. Oh, boy. Are you starting to get like insecure? Like, oh, wow, we still can't find gold. I've told them. Oh, that I 100 percent. Like the only the only possible takeaway is I'm so boring that this guy has to grill me for 10 hours to get.

a five-minute segment of David Letterman that might be interesting. Yeah. Mr. Lowe, is there any details you haven't told us? So you saw the woman. You noticed she had a red dress. But anything that was like a cop walking you through it, surely you know more about this than you're telling me. Well, what – so they're like, so, like, have you gone on any trips maybe? I'm like, well, I actually did go –

fishing with my dad and can't tell me about that. And so I told him this, this story about like the, you know, we were, and I'm trying to make it into, I'm you're, you're racking your brains going. I need to be interesting. I need to be interesting. I need to be interesting. How can I be interesting? And I'm like, okay, we were, we were flying on a sea plane and the pilot, let me fly it for a minute. That's kind of interesting. I think that's interesting. Maybe that's good. Who gets to do that? And I tell him that and he goes, oh, okay. Keep in. So anyway, long story short, I get to,

And I'm about to go on and this same producer comes up to me right in the wings and is like, listen, Dave really loves the seaplane story. He loves it. So when he brings up, you know, travel, that's when you talk about the seaplane.

And I'm like, and he kept hammering me. I'm like, okay. And so now I'm feeling totally scripted that I can't be myself. That when Dave says that, you're going to say this. And this says that. And you say that. And I'm like, and I don't even know where the fuck I am anymore. I'm like, David Letterman. And out I go. And we do the interview and Dave's in his, um,

uh fuck tom cruise mode okay okay great not in his i love dax shepherd mode okay sure sure and really quick can i just add you must have a little bit of a of a hurdle to overcome in general just because you're very good looking and you're interacting with comedians and no one got into comedy because they thought they were gorgeous so i imagine you start in a hole on most of these shows

Well, in this one, I was I was I was definitely I was in the Grand Canyon. It was more than a hole. It was the Grand Canyon. And so I'm digging my way. I'm digging my way out. And it's it's not going great at all. And I'm starting to sweat. And and he goes, so tell me, you do any traveling?

And I'm like, here it is, here it is. And I'm now like willing to say and do anything because I'm dying. And so I tell the story. He goes, uh-huh, uh-huh. And the guy had told me on stage, he goes, really, really take your time. I mean, he loves the story. Don't rush through it. He loves it. Yeah.

And I'm like, and then we get up in a seaplane and I'm with the seaplane and I look at my dad and the pilot gives me the controls. I have the controls and I don't really know how to fly a plane, obviously, Dave. And it was really exciting. But he gave me the, I gave him, they call it the yoke, Dave. They call it the yoke. That's what the plane is called. And they gave me the yoke and I took it and I flew it. And, and my dad was scared. We both were really scared.

I am seeing crickets. He goes, he goes dead silence in the studio, dead silence from Dave. Oh, he goes, um, so listen, you seem like a really nice guy. So after the show, why don't you come up to my office and we'll work on that story? No, he said that on air. 100% true. Oh boy. Oh boy. Dave loves that story. Make sure you tell that story. So that's, that's, oh yeah.

Oh, boy. Yeah. Well, that's an absolutely true story. I can brutal. I can. All right. So I have said this before, and I think I even got to talk about it with him at one point. But prior to me getting sober, I did the pre interview, which you just explained in a full blackout. So I had gone out. I met up.

A co-ed. There was a lot of drugs involved. I get shaken awake by my publicist and hotel security, who he is convinced to let him into my room. And so I'm laying there. One of us has peed the bed. We call that good morning, Johnny Depp. Okay. Okay. Great. Okay. Great.

I'm being shaken. And my publicist is saying, you are on Conan in 40 minutes. Let's go. And I am a mess. And so we raced to Conan. I'm saying, I need some Red Bull or something. I'm guzzling Red Bulls. And it occurs to me for half a second as I'm walking out, like, oh, I should have done a pre-interview for this.

Clearly, I have done it. They wouldn't have let me on the show without doing a pre-interview. So I get out there. The first thing I do, because I'm panicked, is there had been wild animals on just prior to my appearance. So before I sat, I said, Conan, you should get a different green room for the guests and the poisonous snakes, because I got tagged right before. And as I'm saying, I got tagged by a snake. I fake pass out.

I go over, it goes way too big. I thought I was just going to kind of slump into the chair, but I went over the chair and in the process, I kick the coffee table up in the air on accident. It breaks when it lands. I'm now on the other side of the couch. He's trying to respond to this. And, you know, the audience loves it, but he doesn't, of course. And then I sit down and then he begins like, Dax, that's a weird name. And I'm thinking, hmm.

That's supposed to cue me for a story about my name, which I can't think of a single one. So then I just go, you know, well, you got a lot of nerve. Your name's Conan, Conan the Bright. Anyways, this appearance from the audience point of view is fine. But for Conan and I, we know it was a full on plane crash. It was such a mess. It was so frustrating for him.

And I was just panicked. Like, I don't know one thing I'm supposed to be saying. And not shockingly, I was banned from that show for about four years. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I had to have a friend. Once I got like two years sober, I had a friend close to him call on my behalf and say, look, he's he's turned it all around. He really loves you. He wants to be on your show again. Please let him back. And then they let me back and I've done it.

a bazillion times since. But yeah, that was my pre-interview gone bad story. Oh, I'm having, I'm having like a panic attack picturing that the look in their eye when they, when their eyes get big and live television and because it's not gone. Oh, I can only imagine from his point of view, like what am I supposed to do? This guy clearly doesn't know a single one of the stories he told the segment producer yesterday. And this is why we do podcasts. Cause we don't have to do any of that crap.

Don't have to do anything. And did you also covet? Hey, Dax, hang on, Dax. I'm going to play a little game here called Name That Tune. But the thing is, it's going to be scrambled and you're not going to know the notes because we're going to change the notes. It's really cool. Did you covet the role of the person? It was always kind of legendary that there were a handful of guests that never needed to do pre-interviews. Have you heard about this? Yes. Oh, yeah. No, no. And with all possible humility, I am for sure on that list now.

Okay. Because honestly, after the Letterman fiasco, what I learned from that, and I'm not kidding, is I had to be, is like, fuck those people. It's like, I'm funny and I'm enough. And I'm going to just, I'm going to actually talk to the human being.

That is behind the desk like they're there. They're they're fulfilling their job thing and whatever. And there may be plenty of people that need it, but I'm just going to do my thing. And well, what is interesting is so the pre interview I end up there's not one question they asked me where I don't spend something semi entertaining on that phone call.

And then what happens inevitably is, unfortunately, by the time now when I go out on stage, I've already done all that. And I already was seeking approval for that story and I already got it. So like the carrot for me is a little bit a day or two ago where I was trying my hardest to make some magic out of thin air. And now I'm just kind of repeating the thing I did. Yeah. So I do see I have a desire to fly with no net for sure. Yeah.

But I, too, have had a whole evolution where it's like I don't ever think I was bad at them, but I definitely learned how to slow down out there and I learned how to relax and I learned how to let the fight come to me a little bit more and maybe be a tiny bit more of a counter puncher in those things. But it's certainly the notion that you could just drop a human being under that couch and that they would know how to be entertaining in six minutes is

is a pretty big ask. You know, it's a big ask and the people who do it, are you just like, you just love it. You just love when, you know, I don't know, James Garner would be on the tonight show. Okay. Who's your, who's your Mount Rushmore? Okay. Uh, great. I was just going to ask you the same thing. So what I find myself watching once every three weeks, uh, just to replenish my soul is Nick Cage's best Letterman appearances. Oh,

They're so incredible. There's I don't know for me, pound for pound, if there's a better guest on a talk show than than Nick Cage. He's he tells one story about he and Charlie Sheen being on a flight. And unbeknownst to him, Charlie Sheen had like a ounce of cocaine tape around his ankle. And he at one point they're they're having a good old time on this flight.

And at one point he goes up and he grabs the PA system and he goes, this is your captain speaking. I'm losing control of the aircraft.

And just the word choice, I'm losing control of the aircraft, is so open-ended and wonderful. And then they get into trouble. And, of course, when they land, there's, you know, security there. But he tells this other story about having a King Cobra, which is just only he could do this story on Letterman where he goes, you know, Dave, I come home and I have this King Cobra gale. And, you know, I feed it and I tell it, how are you? How was your day?

And, you know, Gail looks at me and Gail just kind of raises her head and says, fuck you. Fuck. And he's mimicking the snake attacking him through the glass. And like the level he can get to with the fuck you is so out of this world. I can't watch those clips enough. Have you seen him on Good Morning America recently where they asked him about acting? No. Oh.

What'd he say? And I cannot do a cage even remotely as good as yours. But he's like, well, first of all, I find it offensive because it's not acting. Acting is pretending. And that is the farthest thing from what I am doing. And it's so good. Yeah.

I would love to see that. He was my guy. He was, I think even when I interviewed you, I told you this, which is,

He was the first guy that I thought, oh, fuck, maybe there is a place for me in this business. He's not gorgeous. He's not unattractive. He's just kind of weird, and he's owning it. And by God, he's the star of Valley Girl. I found him to be incredibly encouraging as someone who wanted to get into acting but didn't think I could do the many things the other actors seemed to be doing. And I also say that one of the most...

profound things I've ever learned about this has come from him in an interview talking about doing the movie Face Off with Travolta. And he said, you know, there becomes a point in the movie where we're going to start playing each other. And I'm nervous for Travolta, how he's going to mimic me. Clearly everyone can do a Travolta and he is so specific. I know what to do, but I feel so bad for John that he has to do me.

And he said that was the first time he ever realized that he was enough, that he was a thing, that he could be mimicked, that Travolta could do him and that he is specific and he is unique. And I thought, how could it have taken Nick Cage that long to recognize he's unique and specific and enough as he is? And I found that to be.

Just a great bit of advice for anyone who does this. Like, you're enough. Be you. You don't have to do anything. Just be good at, you know, find your voice and let it out. And there's enough there. I had Matthew McConaughey. I was talking to him recently, and he was saying that Joel Schumacher, who directed

me and St. Elmo's fire and gave Matthew his big break and time to kill his first big direction was no, no, no. Stop doing that. I want, do what you do. Oh, I hired you. Oh, do, do what you do. You. Yeah. Yeah. It's kind of the, it's kind of the same thing. Really? It's, it's very, it's very counterintuitive. Like if you're listening, you're probably thinking, well, that's, that seems so silly. That would be the easiest thing to do is to be myself. But yeah,

I'd argue it's the thing that takes the most confidence because you really have to trust that however I process a girl breaking up with me in a scene is going to be the right thing. Like if I just do what I do, that that's enough. And I think that requires a lot of confidence. Yeah.

Well, listen, if people don't think it's tough, just listen to your neighbor try to make a toast. You know, the next Christmas gathering. See how riveting that is. Well, there is a really fun thing. I wonder if you've had this experience where, oh, but my brother will kill me for this. But I definitely when I was on Punk, I think and I understand I would have the same opinion. He's my older brother. He's five years older than me.

And he's watching this show and he's like, yeah, I mean, I could do that. And I'm like, yeah. I mean, I'm like, I studied improv for 10 years, but that doesn't. But I get it. He was he's like, yes, that's how we act at an amusement park. I could do that. I'm like, great. I get it. I put him in chips.

One scene, he had to scream at a big explosion. I think he had one line and the greatest moment of my life was coming over to him afterwards. And he goes, oh, my God, did I just fuck that whole thing up? Like what did I that scream sound insane, right? That's not how someone screams, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, OK, buddy, welcome to the party. This. Yeah, that's what it is.

And it just was, I could have tried to tell him that a million times, but just being able to plop them in there and experience it was so wonderful. Hold that thought. We'll be right back.

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By the way, I love chips. Did you ever get to meet... Estrada's in it, right? Yeah, he's in it at the end. I want a name. I want a name. Lowe isn't a great name. Estrada's a great name. I want a name that I can just throw out. Like, I could have... Like, I've been off the radar for 50 years, like Eric Estrada has, and just go, Estrada. And you're like, yeah. Estrada's back.

He's back. That's right. That's right. He is everything you want him to be. He's radical. Yeah, he is fucking Eric Estrada. And yeah, he was lovely. I did feel a little... How do I say this? I don't know that he knew the tone of the movie. Right. And I think...

And rightly so. He probably had some fans that were eight when they fell in love with him kind of tweet him. Why would you be in a movie where they talk about eating ass for so long? And so long. So I just so long. Yes. The longest I've seen never, ever recorded. So, yeah, I had a little bit of more like, oh, I hope he's not bummed. He did it because we had a ton of fun the day he was there.

See, one of the things I'm, and I know you and I are the same generation and we have the same kind of totems of television. You're in movies. You're like, you're like a Reynolds guy. I know. Or like a number one. Did we deliver the single best piece of wardrobe in the history of the motion picture industry is his sleeveless wetsuit and deliverance. It's so great. The zip with the zipper, the zipper and always undone and the perfect amount of chest hair.

He looked so awesome in that role. I just, I just always like, here's how my mind works. I want to be in the meeting on like the Fox lot and the shitty trailer and it's hot and there's a rack of clothes and Bert's working his way through his wardrobe and he goes, and somebody proffers up that wetsuit top and he goes, that, that is it. That's the one. I got a great story about him and a wetsuit, which was, he was in the first movie I was ever in and,

called without a paddle and he played um uh db cooper and as you just said he's my number one another paddle movie for him he does deliverance paddles and now he's doing this i think that was intentional i think it was a little bit of a nod to deliverance right um but there was and at the time he was in his 70s already right and um god knows how many times he had broke his back and everything else and so there was a scene where he has to get shot on a uh on a porch and

And there's going to be a pretty good stunt. Someone's got to jump backwards off this porch. And naturally there's a stunt double there. And Bert says, send them home. Get me a three mil wetsuit. It's all I need. Get rid of the pads. All he want a, it was off the table that anyone was doing the stunt other than him. And then B, he just wanted a wetsuit on under his costume and he did not want anything else to break his fall. And he,

This 72-year-old man just leapt backwards and just took a huge back first land on dirt off a porch. And he was completely fine. Or at least he led us to believe he was completely fine. So I wonder...

I think that wetsuit thing is deeper than just that wardrobe. I think it's like, that's his armor is wet. Oh, that makes perfect. Wow. That makes perfect. He's like, I'm going to be in a canoe for eight weeks and banging on rocks. I need a wetsuit. That's right. He probably brought his own. Now that I think about it. And in this movie, Bert, it doesn't have to be underneath your clothes.

He also told me I was fighting pretty hard. Again, it was my first movie. I was 28 or something, and I wanted to be Burt Reynolds very bad. So there was a scene where the guys have to jump off a 100-foot waterfall, and I was making a case every single day leading up to that that I need to be jumping off that waterfall, and I have all this experience jumping off waterfalls. And the stunt coordinator is saying, well, these people are trained. And I said, how does one train to fall 100 feet into water? I don't – I'm being –

A pain in the ass is what I'm being. And finally, Bert pulls me aside and he says, you remember that bit in Deliverance where I go over the waterfall? And I'm like, yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. And he goes, you can't see me in that shot. And I broke my back. Let the guys jump off the waterfall. I was like, okay. And then it was over. I stopped being a brat about it. And I was like, okay. So God knows he may have saved my life.

How great is... I live for those moments. I'm not kidding. And this isn't a bit. I live for those moments when guys or women like that, who you've grown up admiring, loving, and they give you a nugget like that. My love affair with him on that movie, we could do six hours on. When we got home, he invited me to lunch at his house and Dom DeLuise was there and John Boyce. Wow, as he is. As you would expect. But he...

He really was. How has there not been a Ryan Murphy Netflix special about the relationship of Dom DeLuise and Burt Reynolds? Oh, that would be so great. That would be so great. Listen, I'm not kidding. I'm texting Ryan when I'm done with this interview.

I've got the next Hollywood. It's like a Hollywood franchise. I'll play Jerry Reed in it if possible. No, you should. But you'll play. No, I don't. I don't. I don't think I'm good enough to play. I don't think I'm cool enough to play. But I think I could pull off Jerry Reed, especially. I'd have to go back on pills, but whatever. We can sort it all out after we wrap. But I will say. So imagine this. If you could craft your perfect compliment to from your hero.

I wouldn't have been able to script this. So it did help that he kind of had a crush on my then girlfriend, Brie. So he left a lot of signed things in my trailer for me while we were shooting that, which I absolutely love because I had brought some stuff. I had a Gator poster I brought, you know, the whole thing. But he went out on his own and he got some stuff and he signed it for us. And two things happened. One is he gave my girlfriend...

The famous picture of him nude. Oh, right. Your skin rug. And he wrote on it. This is when I was young and cute like Dax. So that that was great. And I was like, what a move. What a great way to hit on my girlfriend because you flattered me. And now I'm over whatever jealousy I'd have.

But he wrote to me on a poster, Dax, you remind me of a younger version of myself. And I was like, well, that's that. That's the compliment I would dream to get from my hero. I remind him of himself. I was floating. Oh, as you should be. It's not gotten better since then, I don't think.

Burt Reynolds is the first person I ever knew who did a summer picture and a winter picture. And the winter picture was always a sort of an awards gambit that obviously never really happened. And the summer picture was the box office popcorn one. Uh-huh. He also has, do you remember his quote? When he did Smoking the Bandit 2, he famously got either 10 or 20 million. It was something that was so astronomical. And it was like a 3X of whatever the other record for a payday was.

And he said, I understand that people are angry and offended by me getting this amount of money, but wouldn't they be more angry and more offended if I didn't take this amount of money? I was like, whoa, you flipped the script on that. I couldn't agree more. I'd hate you for not taking... Someone offers you that amount of money, you do it. He, Smoking the Bandit, I think that was when he was...

When he was with Sally Field, like when they were boyfriend and girlfriend. So I worked with Sally on Brothers and Sisters. Yes. And I could never really get her. I tried to crack that Burt seal with her and she was not really forthcoming. And, you know, and Sally was she would she would show up really, really early and never let she never let anybody touch her. So it's like makeup and hair. No, no, no, no. Sally did it all in private.

Like it was all a big, mysterious process. And she would arrive every morning wheeling a her own little bag that we assumed had her own makeup and hair. But I always suspected it was Bert's severed head. That's what I thought. Yeah.

Well, I did broach that with him because if I had to say, you say to me, I'm going to give you a time machine and you can go attempt to date any actress that's ever lived and worked in show business. And I am taking that time machine to the set of Hooper and I'm trying to marry Sally Fields. She's my all time favorite. So I'm just head over heels in love with her. And then so as Bert and I become friends, I kind of want to know,

How he felt about her. And he loved her. I mean, he was wild about her. And I think he does. He did believe that was one of his great regrets. Yeah, I've heard that. I've heard. I've heard that, too. I. Yeah. By the way, if I'm in the time machine, I'm going to Viva Las Vegas to Ann Margaret's trailer. Oh, you are. OK. OK. I got to tell you, though, even as a straight male, I might take that time machine to the set of Legends of the Fall, too.

For Brad. Yeah. Yeah. For Pitt. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, if we're going to do that, I'm going to crank the meter in the time machine just a smidge more to the left and I'm going to Thelma and Louise. Okay. Let's talk about that. That's Apex Brad for you? No, no, no. Apex Brad for sure. Yeah.

By the way, if this is not the title of this episode, then I'm a monkey's uncle. Apex Brad. Apex Brad. There's been a few, by the way. It's kind of like trying to judge the highest mountain in the Himalayas. Yeah, it really is. That's what we love. Apex Brad for me is when Redford shot him the way Redford always insisted on being shot and close up. Do you know what the Redford close up is?

Is it that he always has his head turned? Yes. It is. Oh, good. I didn't know that. Good job. I just went, I went my mind and most of the time I can see him kind of looking back everywhere. It's, it's, it's over, it's actually, it's an over the shoulders. It's a French. It's an over the shoulder with you looking back and every single shot of him in that fishing movie. River runs through it. River runs through it. I mean, never has there been a more exciting movie about fly fishing is that

that i think that might be apex brad he's the apex predator of pretty okay so for me it's hard to top legends um for sure um and this might shock you but i think my next stop is snatch i like dirty brad yes you're like a rough trade guy that's right that's right i i want to you know a realistic threat that this guy's gonna snap something about that is thrilling

Yeah, I got to have a little androgyny going. Yeah, I can see that from River Runs and then Thelma as well. But I think we'd both agree that we're not bitching if we're stalled out in Fight Club. No, that's the eating. Listen, I admire any actor who eats nothing but lettuce and canned tuna for six months. Yeah. No, it's incredible. I can't do. I mean, listen, I'm clearly not a great actor because, A,

I'm not capable of gaining a ton of weight for any role. I'm just not doing it. And I don't know if I could if I could eat that all that time for five shirtless scenes. I don't know. It's like that great scene where who is it? Tom Tom Hardy or one of them gained all the weight for the role and lost to an Oscar to Gary Oldman who just simply wore a fat suit.

Right. That's what he did. Won the Oscar. Yeah. To me, that should end the debate. That should end the debate. This whole thing. And every year it's trotted out and I just go, oh God, really? It's like, he gained 55 pounds for this. So what? Cares. I'm with you. You have to do it. I have no position on this. This is not a hill I would die on, but I have to admit to having done it. That's a hill I'll die on. Clearly. Yeah.

But for Idiocracy, I gained 35 pounds because Mike had envisioned this guy as a rotund dude. And I thought I should do as much as I can to do that. And my fantasy of what that would be like was I thought it was going to be so awesome. I thought, oh, my God, I'm going to be eating everything I want and everything.

I got to a point where I, in the middle of the night, I had gone up, got up to go pee, came back, went back to sleep. But when I woke up,

I had an empty Twix wrapper under my body and I had an empty Reese's peanut butter cups under my body. And what I realized is like, oh, Jesus, I ate those two in my sleep while I came back from peeing. I grabbed those two candy bars and I was eating them in bed. And then there were and I just I felt terrible throughout the whole process. And there was no doctor supervision. And I remember that.

Super Size Me came out while we were shooting that movie and I went to the theater and saw it and I thought, boy, this guy's almost dying and I'm eating way worse than he is and there's no doctor involved. But, you know, I was young and I wanted to do it and it was fine. And I've also gotten really thin or in shape for two different movies, two different times. And I like it because, fuck, I'm not claiming it makes me a good or bad actor.

I love control. It's like a great excuse to exhibit way too much control over yourself for a punctuated period of time. Punctuated period. For sure. What I do want is I want to do, I don't necessarily want to do one of the movies, but I want to be in that Marvel movie.

where like the Marvel doctor knocks at your door with a suitcase full of shit that they used to pump Elvis full of, except this is to get you ripped and shredded and gigantic bodies. I want whatever they gave Kumail. Have you seen my man Kumail? I had him on to talk about his body. Oh, oh. I did a full episode about male bodies, and I brought him and Rob McElhenney on, who also got crazy ripped for his show that year.

And yeah, we just talked about how much we love men's muscles for 90 minutes. I can tell you from my own personal experience, the two times I got really in great shape for movies, I did it with the sole hope that women would stop me all over the place and tell me how great I had looked. And to date, not a single woman has told me I had a good body in Chips or when in Rome. I've had over 300 dudes say,

on the airplane stopped to fist bump me and go bro you were jacking chips boom and i realized oh the only people that are noticing our dudes it's true oh yeah it's like uh um stallone gave me a really good piece of advice about about all that stuff where he was like you know you gotta worry about is your abs and your biceps

Because that's all anybody's looking at. And he's right. Like, that's what men immediately look at other men. Do they have a gut? Do they have arms? But then I ran into Sly years later, and he'd evolved in his studies of the male anatomy. And he was like, I'm very much interested in my forearms. And he goes, because if I just roll up my shirt,

You know, how many times can you wear a T-shirt? But you can always wear a dress shirt and open it up. And so he had these massive forearms. Massive. And the vascularity is off the charts. He's got garden hoses just crisscrossing all over. It's so gorgeous. This looks like the intersection of the 405 and the 101. Oh.

It's so hard for me to hear you do it and not try to do mine. I know. Yeah. Do you have that when someone's doing a voice and you're like, I got to try mine? Yeah, you got it. I only do one line of his, which is, I heard this apocryphal story. Maybe it happened, maybe it didn't. When he worked with Rob Schneider, he wanted Rob to say a line in Judge Dredd. He wanted him to say, he wanted to set him up to say, I am the law or something. I don't know. Point is, I've heard that on the shooting day, Rob didn't want to say the line and he's like,

That's really good. That's going to be in my head now. And we'll be right back after this.

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Can I ask you who your favorite actors are? If you had to, if you had to like list three, I don't ever get to talk about actual this, despite having a podcast. I never just bro out about who I like. Who are your name? Three. You're enamored. Oh, easy. That's easy. That's the first two are really, really easy. And then the third one kind of you kind of have to rotate in and out. OK, for sure. Without a doubt. Hands down. Number one, Paul Newman.

Oh, what a great pick. Number, not, not even a question. Um, introduced my kids to the sting the other day. Yeah. And it was just a perfect movie and absolutely perfect. Absolutely. Um, and then two is Redford. Wow. Two is Redford. Really classic for you. Classic traditional. Yeah. Um, Warren, Warren Beatty's in there. Um,

But then it becomes performance based. After that, it's performance based. Yeah. You kind of just told me who your favorite movie stars of all time were in a way. Yeah. What's your favorite performance you've ever seen from an actor? Oh, Al Pacino and the Godfathers. Al Pacino and the Godfathers, without a doubt, are my are. I mean, it's a clinic. It's an it's an absolute clinic of acting. It's a great pick.

Yeah, right. You know, some of this becomes telling on what kind of acting you personally want to do. So many people's is Daniel Day-Lewis, and that's certainly a great pick. Yes. Oh, dude, I have on my phone right now. On my phone, I can bring up the scene. I've abandoned my boy. Oh, I have it on my phone.

So, yes. And and and now that you bring it up, I go, shit, fuck. Oh, he should be on. But oopsie daisies, oopsie daisies. Remember, he's Bill the Butcher. He says fucking oopsie daisies. He's amazing. Yeah. So he's he's great. He's great. But I I would point to one performance for me. Well, two in my life that made me think, oh, something's happening here.

So those performances are unbelievable. They're meticulous. They're flawless. My hat is off to them. But there is a moment in The Wrestler where Mickey Rourke...

He has just trashed the inside of the store he works in. He goes into his van and he looks at himself in the mirror. And I just imagine 99.99% of actors look in that mirror and they show us they feel embarrassed or ashamed or defeated. And he starts laughing at himself.

And I went, oh, my God, that is what I do when I'm super embarrassed. And I see myself in the mirror. I just start laughing uncontrollably. And I wouldn't I wouldn't have been smart enough to remember. I do that like that to me was a moment in a movie where I went this motherfuckers on another level for this thing.

It's a great, it's a great choice. I mean, it's a great, I mean, that's a whole other conversation is like, there's the performance, the actor, and then there's like the choice in, in the scene. I was watching Charles Durning in the sting and he's plays this bad-ass cop. Who's in this scene. He's in a sort of speakeasy having a bite to eat. And these FBI guys come in and roused him and say, basically get your fat ass up and you're coming with me. And he does this thing where he,

Puts his hand in his water that he's been drinking, sticks his hand in it and wipes it and leaves. Right. And I'm like, that is the most amazing piece of human business. Oh, yeah. What's his buns? Bridges is famous for that, too. And wild at heart or lonely heart, whatever the thing was he won for.

The way he helps the window up on the suburban as someone who's super into cars and has old cars. I thought, oh, my God, he's that deep into this thing. It's really his car. He knows he should help this window up because he's replaced this motor before and he don't want to do it again. Like, it's not there's no fucking way that's in the script.

Right. And you're just like, oh, man, this guy's really embarrassing. Most of us. So I love geeking out and fanboying to great performances. The other thing, too, I think as I was starting to think of like, OK, I want to do this. I want to be an actor. And who were the greats and why were they great? So I started kind of looking at it clinically and I started pretty early. And I will say, as cliche as this is.

Seeing Brando on the waterfront was the first time I saw an actor exist in the scene in a real way. In that when he sits in a chair, the chair's not in the perfect spot. He tries to get it in the right spot and he looks down at the ground. It's on the fucking thing. And then it's just the first time that ever happened. Everyone else prior to him, when they sit in a chair, it's in the perfect position. And I thought, oh, yeah, be in the fucking place.

Yeah, it was revolutionary. On the other side of that, though, another guy who would be on my list is Cary Grant because he made it look so easy. And like you watch that doc about him. Oh, yeah. I knew him. I knew him. I did. Yeah, I knew him. Yeah.

I was friendly with his daughter, Jennifer. In fact, was trying to date her and she was not having what I was selling at all. Okay. Well, that happens occasionally. Yeah. You know, nobody bets a thousand. That documentary is so fascinating. And as we enter into a different paradigm where people in public are kind of more free to talk about the experience, um,

You see how imprisoning his was, you know, he for people don't know the Cary Grant story, right? He that's not his name. He's a poor kid in London, fucked up childhood, comes here and he decides I'm going to be this person. And makes it up and heard the famous quote is he famously said a lot of people want to be Cary Grant and I'm one of them. Mm hmm.

And what a profound. And I think a lot of us feel that way. It's like, yeah, I do want to be this person I'm portraying. I'm not or I don't feel like I am. And the notion that he was doing acid therapy like once a week is so once a week. I know I'm tripping balls. I don't know about you. There's elephants on the on the carpet moving. Yeah.

Yeah. And he got a lot out of it, apparently. Yeah. I also saw it as a cautionary tale. You know, the daughter who I guess you were trying to date was saying that they had this kind of really lovely family unit and then they moved to this enormous house and then everyone was just lonely in it. And I really let that set in. I'm like, don't ever get a place where people can be lonely.

I remember that. That's the house I went to. And my greatest memory that I thought, wow, this is what making it really is, was that he had a... Oh, fountains and shit. Yeah. He had a refrigerator, like a Teflon shiny refrigerator that had a milk spigot. Oh, my gosh. Sticking out of it like a diner. Milk on demand. Milk on demand spigot. That's worth the money. Yeah. I've never seen that before or since. Yeah. Yeah.

It's hard to imagine you striking out with a gal, but you know. I was a showbiz nerd. I was like a theater geek. Yeah, you did say, I said, because you were in a class like a row over from Downey. Yeah, and he was just a nut. Right. There's got to be some grown-up women now that were like, oh my God, I was sitting between these two. I missed the boat. There's a lot of them. Yeah.

Believe me, because I wasn't a surfer then. I wasn't a surfer. I wasn't a beach volleyball player. That was like the ultimate. I mean, gee, if you could date a beach volleyball player, man, you were made.

And I wasn't that I was like the nerd who was like doing Dan Aykroyd's Basso Matic sketch at the talent show. That was me. It was not. And Downey. What was Downey? He just he just he was on a in a different plane. You know what he was? He was the number one singer in Madrigals. Do you know what Madrigals are?

Nope. This is back when public education was really like they actually did cool shit. Like Madrigals was a class where you sang Latin songs in Latin. Oh, boy. So the Madrigals were a choir of Latin singers.

And it's like, that's not, that's not sound like Latin, by the way, at all. That sounded like Oktoberfest, maybe. Yeah, it was not good. But Downey, he was really, he was the star magical singer. That's what he was. He's a hell of a singer. He is. Yeah. I feel weird saying this, but we're bros. But long before I was bros with him, I owned his CD. Like I loved his, his, his. Is the Ally McBeal thing?

No, he put out a full length album. That's really, really good. It's, it's a little bit Steely Dan ask. It's, um, it's great.

And I liked it. And I thought he was, I'm like, wow, this, he's such a great singer. But the time that I was like, oh, fuck this guy. What can't he do? It was any, when he sang with sting. I don't know. Have you seen that video? Yeah. Downey is too talented. I know. Isn't it? It's disheartening. It's very frustrating. Yeah. So frustrating. Thank God he's nice. It would be an insufferable. I know. I know. I'm plagued by that with, with Bradley Cooper. We've been best buddies for about 16 years. Yeah.

And just every couple of years I go, oh, whoa, you didn't tell me you're a great singer, bro. Oh, wow. You didn't tell me you're a phenomenal director. I always say if I like if I looked up in the sky and an F-16 blew by and Bradley waved at me, I'd be like, yeah, the guy can fly an F-16, I think. Yeah, I saw him and I saw him do Elephant Man in London. Oh.

It was spectacular. Yeah, yeah. Spectacular. Yeah. Here's my Bradley story. He's convinced, and I cannot tell him otherwise. He's convinced my father taught him his backhand. I'm like, wait, what? He's like, yeah, your dad was a tennis pro, right? I'm like, yes, he was. How did you know he was a tennis pro? Because he taught me my backhand. I'm like, where? And he goes, in Puerto Rico. I'm like, what?

What? My dad was a tennis pro in Puerto Rico. Absolutely. Well, then why isn't this possible? Because the math doesn't work at all. What was he instructing? My dad was instructing in Puerto Rico in 60. Uh-oh.

It's 62-3. Okay. The math does not work. No, Cooper and I are four days apart. We were born four days apart, and both in 1975. So that's probably not going to check out. The math's way off. Maybe someone assumed your father's identity. I think there's a pro down there going, I am Rob Lowe's.

Father. Andre. He will not. But I could not convince him. Don't take that from him. Don't you dare take that from him. You know what? You're right. I never thought of it that way. You know, I got to say that about Burt. There were a few stories. He's definitely, Burt Reynolds is the best storyteller I've ever heard in my life, period. And many times I thought, you know, the physics don't make sense here in this story. Yeah.

Like, I don't think that's anatomically possible or atomically possible. And then I thought, shut the fuck up. Enjoy this story. He told me one about Hal Needham. They've both passed now, so I think I could tell this.

They were roommates forever, right? Hal Needham, for people who don't know, most legendary stuntman of all time, ended up directing Hooper and Smoking the Bandit. He's the best. I recommend reading his autobiography. It's phenomenal. Toughest guy to ever live. So he and Bert were roommates. They're living in Santa Monica, and Hal comes home from work one day, and he says, Bert, I need you to take me to the hospital. I broke my back. And Bert goes, well, there's no way you broke your back. You couldn't be walking in and out of here. And he goes, well, Bert, I broke my back. Take me to the hospital. So he takes him to the hospital.

In Santa Monica there. And apparently the nurses is pretty and and Hal is flirting with the nurse. And this is all by Bert's assessment. He's pretty sure the nurse and the doctor have something going on. So he's detecting that the doctor is getting a little annoyed by by Hal hitting on the nurse there.

Give him an x-ray. Sure enough, he has a broken back. But not only that, he has a considerable amount of fluid in his lung. And he tells Hal he's going to have to take the fluid out of his lung with a big syringe. He needs to get on the wall, brace himself, stand up. The nurse is going to hold his knees because some people faint during this. And he is in a hospital gown. And the doctor puts the needle in his back and Hal Needham shits all over the nurse.

And the whole story, I'm predicting where it's going. There's no way you're assuming that's the punchline. The story is that Hale Needham evacuated on a nurse. All the stuff about them flirting. I don't know. It was just what? I've never heard a punchline like that. He says that. And I was like, oh, my God, did I not see that coming?

And then I, you know, I started to let myself wonder, like, you know, how much of that could. And I was like, just shut up. Yeah. Great story. Let him have the story. It was phenomenal. I tell I tell my my wife and kids are always busting my balls about everything. Sure. And they never have. I said, don't ever let the facts get in the way of a good story ever. Yes, yes, yes. By the way, where's where's your wife during all this?

Is she like, oh, God, Jesus, as far away as she can get from me? She's like she has to be. From what I know of Kristen, she's like, really? Again? Again with this? Well, it's white noise. We've been together 13 and a half years. So I can't imagine she even takes in half of what I'm doing and vice versa. She'll start talking about dogs.

And yeah, about 25 minutes will go by and probably I got three or four of it. Yeah. Yeah. That's a successful marriage. You come to realize as you've been with someone a really, really long time that your grandpa was not deaf. Everyone's grandpa was deaf, but you come to realize none of them were. Yes. You come to realize that when grandpa went to get the paper and there were only so many papers they could go out to get.

Gotta go get the paper. Now you don't even have a fucking... Oh my God, I gotta tell you that. Really quick, one of the guys at the... Fuck it, he told it on this podcast, so I'm gonna repeat it. But Jay and Mark Duplass, the Duplass brothers, they're very successful. I don't know if it was their dad or their buddy's dad. Regardless, a dad had been on a bowling league for years and...

And the mom found out somehow that the bowling league had stopped a couple years ago. And she said, of course, her mind went to like, oh, my God, he must be having an affair. And she asked him, what were you doing? And he said, I just would go to the bowling alley and park my car there in case anyone saw. And I would just sit in the car for two hours.

And I thought, oh, my God, if that's not a married person with children, like, just give me fucking two and a half hours in a bowling alley parking lot. That's all I'm asking for. I don't even need a bowl. Just let me sit.

It's not a high bar. It's like, I just want some peace and quiet. Yeah. Our wives, listen, here's the thing that's good is, I don't know about you, but my wife does not care one whit about anything I do. So she's not going to listen to this. So I'm going to be okay. But can you imagine if they actually listened to what we did? Like if they cared, can you imagine?

Yeah, it's a double-edged sword. Yeah, because we wouldn't be able to tell the story. We'd be in trouble. Well, that's true. That's true. But I remember going out on Ellen to promote something. Oh, to promote chips. And I wore this police outfit. And she goes, my God, you're in great shape. Look at your arm. She was really taking it in. She was being so complimentary. And I was just eating it up. And she said, Kristen must be so excited about this. And I was like,

I know for sure Kristen has no idea whether I have gained or lost 25 pounds. I'm just an orb that comes in and out of rooms, and she has to compromise with this orb sometimes, and occasionally this orb makes her laugh. But that's the extent of it.

I'm telling you, I am your co-orb. Yeah, I'm just a presence that seems to not want to leave. And an amorphous orb. By the way, what are you, are you vaping? What do you got going on there? Oh, sadly, I am, yeah. Why does it look like it, but it's not, it doesn't look like a USB port or whatever. Oh, yeah, it does. Yeah.

Yeah, what happened was I haven't smoked in 16 years. I went to Lake Arrowhead and I was with my childhood best friend and he was still killing darts. And it's the first time in 16 years I was like, my God, I want to fucking smoke a cigarette in this beautiful Alpine landscape. And I said, I can't do that. And then there was someone else or that vape. And I thought, well, you know what I'll do is I'll vape this week to get me through the urge of that smoking. And, you know, that was four months ago, Rob.

That trip to Arrowhead is long past and I am still fucking vaping. I relate to every moment of it. This landscape is so beautiful and pristine. The air is so fresh. I need to put smoke in my lungs. That's right. That's right. And there's only certain people like us that think that way.

It's well, I think if I had to actually say exactly what it is, it's that I'm so greedy. No situation cannot be made better. Like, so we're sitting there, we're looking at the lake. It is perfect. And my brain immediately goes, how could I get even more out of this? I need more, more, more, more, more. Nothing's perfect enough. If I was receiving.

Sexual relations from Sally Field, 1977 in a Trans Am driving on the highway. I would think of something else we could do to make it better. It's just how my brain works. Boy, some spare ribs would go good with this experience. So good. I believe foot massage while this was happening. Sally be like, oh, you. That's my Sally Field impersonation.

Oh, you. Yeah. The disease of more. This is great. This is so fun, man. I agree. The problem is we could just talk for five fucking hours. That's right. We are an editor's nightmare. I know. My editor is, he's broken out in a sweat. He looks like Albert Brooks in broadcast news right now. He's just like, oh God, where will I be in? I don't get to bro out enough. I don't get to bro out as much as I like to.

I think I literally started this podcast so I could see people other than my family. Yeah. Yeah. It's nice. It's nice to go check in with some folks. It's like, I'm alive. Especially this year. I know. I know. I've seen more people this year than I've seen in any year. Unfortunately, not in the flesh. Yeah. It's enough, though. It's just exactly right. Yeah.

All right, Guy. Thank you so much. All right, brother. Give Kristen a big hug from me as well. Will do. Tell her I said hey. And if she finds any good rescue dogs, I may be in the market for one. Oh, she, believe me, she never, there's never a moment she does not have a dog she's trying to unload. So whenever you're ready. All right. I'll reach out. All right. Thanks, man. Bye. That was fun. I think we name dropped just about everybody in show business. All they did is talk about famous people.

What do you want from me? That's all I know. Come on. I'm not a human being. I'm just a star person. I love Dax. He's so... Isn't he the best? He's the best. I mean, he says Burt Reynolds is the best storyteller ever. I don't know. He's giving him a run for his money. Anyway, I had a blast. And I don't care if you had a blast. Look, I want you to have a blast. I want you to keep listening, and I love you guys. But guess what? I loved that. And that was great. Hopefully you did too. All right. It is time for the Lowdown Line. Lowdown Line.

Hello, you've reached literally in our lowdown line where you can get the lowdown on all things about me, Rob Lowe. 323-570-4551. So have at it. Here's the beep.

Hi, Rob. This is Tyler calling from North Dakota. Big fan. Love the podcast. I just got done watching all the episodes of The Low Files with you and your boys, and I got to say it was really fun and it was great to watch. I'm just curious, are there any topics or anything else that you wish you guys had covered on The Low Files with you and your boys before it went off the air? Thank you very much and keep up the good work.

Thank you. First of all, thank you for watching The Low Files. It was really a labor of love. I mean, let's face it. Any dad who has the opportunity to run around in a souped up truck with their boys solving supernatural mysteries is going to jump at the chance, as I did. Oh, yeah. There's so much more stuff that I wanted to do. We were going to go to Hawaii and do the Manahunis and the Night Marchers.

So the night marchers are spirits that march up and down the island of the big island with torches at night. And if you look at them, they kill you. And the manahoonies are little tiny like elves that run around and play tricks on you and put your shoes in the wrong room or steal things. They're sort of like mischievous little elves.

So that also, by the way, would have been a great excuse to go to Hawaii. I mean, there was the the secret space force. We did a little bit of that. I'm fascinated. I wanted to go to Mount Shasta.

To look at the the supposed giants that live inside the mountains. And apparently when certain clouds come over Mount Shasta, which only happened on Mount Shasta, apparently that's when the spaceship is there loading people in and out. Oh, yeah. You heard me.

These are the things that supposedly go on that may or may not be complete bullshit. And the low files was there to find out. Maybe I want to do more low files. Maybe one day we'll get to do it. But I love that you watched it. And those would have been the next things we would have done. All right. See you guys next week, please. You have been listening to Literally with Rob Lowe. Produced and engineered by me, Devin Tory Bryant.

Executive produced by Rob Lowe for Lowe Profile. Adam Sachs and Jeff Ross at Team Coco. And Colin Anderson and Chris Bannon at Stitcher. The supervising producer is Aaron Blairt. Talent producer, Jennifer Sampras. Please rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts. And remember to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever you get your podcasts. This has been a Team Coco production in association with Stitcher.

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