Patton Oswalt: For the Love of It
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First of all, good haircut. Oh, thank you. And you have a nice little rugged post-quarantine beard. It's definitely feeling a little The Revenant or Jeremiah Johnson. Yeah, yeah, you got that going on. ♪

Hey, everybody. Welcome to Literally. Today is a treat. I love when I get to riff with funny, hilarious, smart people. And Patton Oswalt fits the bill. I'm just a fan. He's a magnificent actor. We're going to talk a little bit about my favorite performance of his. He's just one of the guys. He's on my list of favorites.

funny people. And also, by the way, somebody that I would love to be seated next to at a dinner party. That's a small list, but he would be on that. Get ready for a rambling, but very funny and interesting conversation with Patton Oswalt.

I love sometimes about doing this podcast is I have people I know and love on it, but then they give me the briefing document and I'm always like, wait a minute, I didn't know that. Yeah. And the first didn't know that is just the little factoid that you were named after General George S. Patton. General George S. Patton. My dad was a Marine, 20 year Marine, and he didn't want me to have like some

name. And I think when she and when he and my mom were going through the baby book, like

in the late 60s, he picked the one first name that wasn't in there, which was the last name, Patton. So that's the one I got. You've seen the movie, I'm sure. Well, my God, yes. I mean, it's amazing. Still amazing to this day. Psychotic and amazing. Written by Francis Ford Coppola. Oh, I am well aware. He won the Oscar for it. Yeah. A lot of people forget that Coppola, before all the godfathers, he was a writer and wrote Patton. And...

I think he wrote, I mean that, I mean that, and you know, it's really interesting. Deep dive here is he rips himself off. I don't know if you ever noticed this in apocalypse now. So yet there's that great moment where there's bombs exploding everywhere and he's surveying the carnage and he goes, God help me. I do love it. So yeah. Right. And in apocalypse now,

He has Duvall surveying the carnage and he says, someday this war is going to end. Yeah. And it's the same moment. It's exactly the same moment. You're right. And it also has that thing where when he's talking about the smell of the napalm and he's like, he does that little like head shake, like he's just sniffed a great wine. Like, it smells like victory. Like it's that same, yeah, it's that same psychosis where-

Maybe Coppola related to that of being drawn into something that you know is maybe destroying you a little bit because he let his films destroy him in a way. Oh, listen, on Outsiders, you never knew what Francis you were going to get on any given day. Really? Because there was one day where he wanted to fire Tom Cruise and me and Matt Dillon and everybody because...

In the Screen Actors Guild contract, we have to have a place to change our clothes. Right. And he didn't want to pay for the trailers anymore. And they weren't like fancy movie star trailers. They were little tiny hovels because none of us were movie stars yet.

And Francis didn't like paying for it for the budget. And he was like, fire. I'll never forget hearing him screaming and yelling and saying, fire all these fucking actors. And I'll make the movie with University of Tulsa Film School students. And I remember Cruz and I looked at each other like, that's not good. He was an interesting dude.

Okay, so you are married to one of my favorite people. Oh, yes. The lovely and amazing Meredith Salinger. I was a huge Adventures of Natty Gann guy. I'm just going to lay it out there. Yeah. I mean, that was her first movie. She was 14 years old and she...

It's suddenly riding the rails with a wolf and for real running after trains. I think there's a scene where one of the trains almost tipped over while she was riding on it and just like framed into the deep end of acting. And a Disney film that by today's standards is pretty dark and pretty rough, you know? Oh, it was like an independent film compared to what Disney would do. Yeah, that's a good way to think of it. It was all on location, all...

authentic and just kind of gritty. And yeah, you're right. It's exactly what it was. It was, yeah. She was so good in it. So great. And I, and you guys might be the cutest couple. I'm tell me about your podcast. I'm obsessed that you guys, cause I thought I was the only person that,

that texted my wife more than I talked to her. But apparently that's the sort of predicate of what you guys are doing on the pod, right? Yeah, you're not the first person that's told us that. We thought it would come off as kind of weird and then people, the feedback has been, oh my God, I'm also, you know, like 20 feet away from my wife in the house and we will

text to each other. Here's how bad it got. One night, we're in bed. It's the end of the day. We were talking to each other. Then we said, okay, good night. She rolled over the other way. She found this really comfortable position. Then I was looking at something online. I found this amazing picture I wanted to show her. I was like, sweetie, oh my God. She went, I have just found

the perfect position. I don't want to roll back over. Just text it to me. And I will, she, I texted her something. I was two inches from her, but she goes, I don't want to lose. I just found the perfect position. Just text it to me. And I wonder how many couples have done that at night when they're in bed. I was trying to think of what it is about,

versus actually talking that is so compelling sometimes. And I'm reminded of when I was young, when we were young in our age before any of this. Do you remember going to like being in seventh grade and you would like write someone a note? Yep. And it was such, it was like, like the girl that you kind of liked and you'd sit in history. Yeah. And you'd like write them a note and you'd fold it up in all these weird ways and then you'd slip them to them like it was a bindle of Coke in the hallway. And...

And it was all very, very cloak and dagger, and you didn't know what they were going to do. It was all very exciting. I think that's kind of what it is. Yeah, and it's weird. There's these weird parallels where there were certain notes you would write where maybe you were giving up a little too much of your feelings. So there was always that, don't show this to anyone, or throw this away when you're done with it. And then it gets shown to someone. And there are certain texts that, you know, people have, friendships have ended because

Two people have been texting and then someone else is like, a little shit with this guy texting about you. And then that gets all blown up. And that's a big problem for teenagers. Their texts get sent around the school. And again, it's new technology, but the same old tensions and weirdnesses.

I feel bad for kids, though. It's like pen to paper. Yeah. I'll tell you the other thing is I think it... What is the technical term for when you're looking at a text and you see the dots pulsating? Yeah. What is that term? And that's a very real...

that's a real emotional thing that everyone remembers is, oh, I'm waiting for the response, waiting for the response. How weird is it when you see those three pulsing dots and you're still writing and then you're like, oh, they're already responding and then they never respond. So it's like, were they writing something and then did they delete it or what happened? Yes, what is that? I really do want to know. Maybe somebody out there works at a tech company

can call in on the low down line and tell me what those are. Because I have two thoughts. One is that I want to know, did they write something and then delete it? Yeah. Is it a bug in the system? And then the other thing is, why does it release endorphins? Like seeing those pulsating things, for sure it releases an endorphin in you and that's why we're so addicted to it. Yes. And also the... It's Pavlovian. It is absolutely Pavlovian. Just like...

when you send a message and that little checkmark shows up that says it's been read or it's been seen. So then even if the dots don't show up, you still have that, well, they saw it. Are they thinking about, you know, how many times have you,

What do you go with? I go with usually a question mark.

Oh, yeah. Here's what I'll do. If I'm really needy, I will go with a question mark. I'll even put a question mark on my last text. Like, huh? Like I'm emphasizing that text. Yes. Or I'll do that BS thing. I'm sure you've done this too, where you're going, hey, I'm really busy too. You text me back whenever. Like you've got to pretend like I've got to hop off this call or whatever. But you're just sitting. They know you're just sitting there. And you've got to pretend like I'm running into a meeting. So just –

I'll read your response later. Don't, don't you, you want to retain your dignity, but go, don't be, don't be offended if I don't respond to your response quickly. Oh God. I know. And some people have the, and I, and I have very poor emoji game. My emoji game is really poor. My, my, my three go-tos are the thumbs up, the heart or the laughing, really big face with the tears. Like just cause I just want to please people and go yes or

Or I love hearing that. Or, oh my God, you just cracked me up. But also, isn't it unspoken that if you send an emoji, it means the conversation's over? Like I'm emojising you and I'm about to bail out now. Like now the typing is done. Here's your thumbs up. I got to go.

Oh, well, I'll tell you the one that really makes me feel that way is when they hit you with a thumb bump, like a fist bump. Right. But it's on the actual text. It's not even a response. Oh, yes, exactly. When they just, they, it's like they footnote the response itself. That is also a very much like, we're done now. I got to go. There's no other way to look at it. It's we're done now. Yeah. I got to run.

I got to, which is more, here's when somebody says, yeah, I got to run that, that phrase. Here's, here's what I hate. I got to scoot. I got to scoot. I got to run. It just makes me feel small when people hit me with that. Well, because you are instantly put in a pecking order and you're not at the top of it. That's what happens. Or as the great comedian Fred Stoller says, when you're on the phone with someone, you converse for a while and then the other person goes, no.

Anyway, like that's your way of, okay. And now they're bailing. We're done. We're all done. They're about to leave you. Oh God. Pat, listen, I got to scoot. Um, do you have little text threads with like three or four friends that you check it? Like, it's almost like your own private Twitter where it's just you and a handful of your friends. Like I have one with my comedian friend, like five of us and we just rip us up. And it's like our own, uh,

And sometimes we'll catch something and someone will go, oh, you should tweet that. And other times we'll catch something and someone goes, do not put that out publicly. That's just for us. Oh, I have a game I play with my

Because my youngest son is a writer and is super worried that I'm going to blow myself up one day because I'm a middle-aged white guy who doesn't get it. Yeah, yeah. So he's like super, super – he feels like I walk around with the nuclear football every day of my life and that I just have no idea what it actually is. That's like who my son Jono thinks I am and maybe I am.

But so he will often, he and I have a gag of like things that you could tweet and

Like, what's the fewest amount of letters you could tweet to end your career? Yeah. It literally makes my heart pound. Oh, yeah. I did a hashtag years ago called career ending Twitter typos. And it's what is the one, you know, like if you just get the typo that then everyone screenshots it and sends it around. You're like, oh, my God. One of mine was Twitter.

What? This again, this is career ending Twitter typo. Okay. My dong is super friendly and loves being petted by children. That was one of my career ending. Just like, oh, I hit the wrong letter. I'm done. It's just, but hang on. How old is your son?

Is he like in his 30s? This is my youngest. The youngest is 25. So would you say that he worked as a writer, but he's clearly, because he just grew up with this stuff, whereas for us it was a new thing and a novelty. He's just very, very savvy about that.

It's not like a weird... Well, not only that, they type so... I sound so old right now. This is awful. This is a horrible interview. They type so fast, these kids. I don't know what's happening in the rock and roll and the hula hoops.

I think the older generation is way more addicted to and drawn into the internet and the distraction of the internet than the younger generation because they're so much more used to it. As a writer, I bet he doesn't go down the YouTube, Wikipedia rabbit holes that I do while I'm writing.

I'll be writing something and then I'll be, oh, what was that? And then an hour's gone because I've gone and looked at videos and stuff like that. I bet he can control himself a lot better than I can. Here's the other thing. So I started on TikTok. Oh, wow. I never got on TikTok. Do you have a TikTok account? Well, here's why. So I was with a bunch of people.

wildly successful, brainy people. But they were like, they were the same. Look, TikTok in China, where it's from is a totally different experience. Everybody's on it. Everybody gets all their news from it. It's everything. And that it's algorithm for knowing you and what you like is by far the most sophisticated algorithm out there.

And it is shocking. Like you spend a week just scrolling TikTok and they will pull up stuff for you that you go, how did they know that I want to hear Walter Becker and Donald Fagan isolate tracks on Asia?

How did TikTok know that? Well, I'm sure you've experienced the... You go out shopping with your phones in your pocket and then you come home and the stores that you visited are suddenly on your Facebook feed and suddenly being suggested on your Instagram feed. We've all experienced that now. But the TikTok algorithm, that's something different going on. I don't know what that is. They're either...

tuned into, they're listening to what you're doing in your house or what, that's weird. That is very weird. That's a different step right there. Yeah, it's definitely, it's something you should, I mean, because then you can really go down some rabbit holes because it starts pulling up the stuff that even you don't know that you like. Yep.

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Qualifying plan required. Wi-Fi were available on select U.S. airlines. Deposit and Hilton Honors membership required for 15% discount terms and conditions apply. I remember, this is going to sound really strange. This is years ago. I remember seeing John Tesh on Politically Incorrupt. They were doing a panel and he was, they're talking about malls. And John Tesh said one of the most insidious things about how malls work. And this is before the internet. This is like in the mid-90s. He was

He said, here's how malls work. You're walking through a shopping mall and at a distance, you see a store that says just magnets. And you're like, all they sell is magnets? That's stupid. I've never heard. Then you get closer to it and you're like, oh, that looks like a, that one looks like a little scoop with jelly beans in it. That's kind of cool. Like the way they did that. And he goes, the

The next thing you realize is you're in line with four magnets in your hand going, what? Wait, what am I doing? And in a way, he was describing how the internet works, but just how it was. It was like that was a rough draft of how it how they pull you in. But I love it. I mean, look, you're you're you're a master of it. You're one of the first people I ever followed on on Twitter. Oh, my God.

How much time do you spend doing it? Because everything you write is so fucking funny and just well thought out. I do, and I'm trying to stop this, but when I wake up in the morning, I open Twitter. And I'll admit to that. And there's days when I haven't. There's days when I consciously go, don't wake up and immediately open Twitter. But most days I do because it's almost like when you open it up and you see what's trending, it's like you're given this weird...

abstract haiku of what's going on in the world and the news. It's that addiction like, oh, I've got to put this together like a puzzle. Why is this person trending? Why is this thing trending? What's going on? And then you reverse engineer why all these things are trending and it's like you put together the world and your mind. So it's very...

very addictive. And then I'll check it during the day, man. And so that's what I have as a comedian because you're right, it's the Pavlovian, it's the endorphin. If I think of a really funny joke, I want to tweet it and then I'll sit there and look at

look at the responses. Have you ever tweeted a joke and then put it in the act? Like tested it out that way? No, there's a way. I mean, that's, that's interesting. There's certain comedians that can actually like someone like Anthony Jeselnik, who's, who's, he,

whose jokes are so perfectly crafted and stand-alone. I think he has to actually struggle with Twitter because he's like, do I tweak this out or do I put this in my act? But my act is so much more conversational that the tweet format, those are jokes that wouldn't have worked in my act anyways. But people like Anthony Jeselnik and especially Emo Phillips, Emo Phillips is one of the funniest people

tweeters out there, but I bet there's days when he has to go, do I tweet this or do I put this in my act? Because his jokes are so right there, you know? It

It was just like, so that, yeah, that's always been strange. Yeah. There's a tweet of yours that I always quote that I was like, did he struggle with tweeting that or going, this could be a thing I could maybe write or say, you wrote this really interesting tweet. It was funny, but it was also like, oh yeah, where you said, look, I don't want to offend anyone, but I,

The song American Pie was never that much of a mystery to me. Everyone was always like, what does American Pie mean? You're like, that's Dylan, that's Janis Joplin, that's the Burt. Why is this? It's not that hard to define for the song. The song's so great, but you're like, why did it get this...

That was such a great tweet. I remember reading that going, yes, why is it such a mystery? You know what? I may put that in my one-man show because that makes me laugh to this day. It's like, Don McLean explains American pie.

I mean, you can listen to it and do, oh, well, that's Buddy Holly. Yeah, that's the Beatles, the Sargers. I know what this is. That's Altamont. I always think about like things that make, I mean, I guess that's the difference in a professional comedian and a dilettante, me being the dilettante, is like things that make me laugh that I'm truly obsessed with. Yeah. And then putting it out there, like I'm obsessed with

restaurants that call themselves factories. Like, why would anyone want to eat in a factory? You're right. And there's a bunch that do that. Everything about it is bad. Yeah. It says we make a lot of it. None of it's special.

it's loud yeah it's like like when i go to like one of like the the ye olde spaghetti factory i'm like hey sit me next to the conveyor belt yeah exactly could i get a room away from the machine it's like why would anybody want to do that also the if the whole if you go even deeper it means it the fluid you're right it's not special it's also made joylessly by

by people that don't want to be there. And we don't, like, if someone gets injured on the pasta assembly line, we just kind of toss them immediately. Like, every factory restaurant, you go to a cheesecake factory, like, who's the shop steward here? I want to see how strong your union is. Like, just...

Yeah, listen, I'm representing OSHA today. Come in with a hard hat and a lab coat. I need to check your facility out. You're right. Factory's in a lot of restaurant things. And you're right, it's the most unappetizing word. And clearly somebody's like, I know. Cheesecake factory. Yeah.

And this would be, and they'll get the irony of this. Because obviously it's fun. It's not a factory. Even the word factory, it's an ugly word. Hard Fs, hard Cs, hard Ts. It's the whole thing. And it shows up way too much. Then add the archaic spelling of ye olde.

Spaghetti Factory. When I was a kid, my first job was working at KTLA in Sunset Boulevard. It was a series called A New Kind of Family, and we would go to lunch at the Ye Olde Cheese, Ye Olde Spaghetti Factory. Right there on Sunset. Right there on Sunset Boulevard. Yep.

What do you gain by making it an old factory? Like when you come in, there should be like pigeons nesting up in the rafters and a guy that clearly went insane years ago that lives in the ducts in the walls and just wanders around. Also, spaghetti really reached its peak during medieval times. That's the best spaghetti during the Black Plague. That was the best pasta. Ye olde. That's when people were eating it. Ye olde apes.

And the old E. Yeah, the added E at the end of the word old. I remember that place. I went to lunch there once. I was working at Sunset Dower, one of my first jobs I wrote on MADtv. And we would either go to lunch at the old Spaghetti Factory or Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles. And after a few weeks, the producers, and not in any way, they had a point. They were like, if you go to lunch, could you...

Try to avoid going to Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles because whenever you guys come back, you knock for four hours and we actually need you to. Because Roscoe's is one of those places that as you start to eat, you just... The food is so ridiculously good that you gain that momentum and then you just want to lie down for like five hours when you're done. Okay, let me ask you because I am also upset with Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles. This is why you and I are separated at birth. First of all, do...

Do you have the waffle first or the chicken first? You have the chicken first, but when they bring it out, you make sure that the, no, no, you pour the syrup on the waffle. You let it collide with the chicken and then you pick the chicken up. So you're eating that really tangy chicken, but with a little bit of the syrup. And then that is your lead into the waffle, but you don't eat the waffle first.

I agree with you not eating the waffle first, but I do not want my syrup touching the chicken. Basically, I want to have two meals. Oh, okay. Basically, what it is is I want to have lunch, and then I want to have breakfast in that order. And then I want to lie down for five hours. The table should fold out into cop at Roscoe's. You can just lie down when you're done because, my God. I've often thought about could you open a restaurant –

Like that, that serves those kind of meals where literally it's like you're in a recliner. Oh, yeah. And then you eat the food and then you hit a button and it becomes a bed.

And you just get – you know you're just going to get an hour of insane sleep in like a sensory deprivation tank type of situation? You would have to be willing to pay an extra fee for that hour because they won't be able to turn that table over. So you have to pay for the table that doesn't come in. But again, I bet there are people that are like, I'll pay for an hour of nap after I eat. I would pay for it. And then –

Particularly if they had like the kind of people who would then come and like slowly massage you to consciousness and then ply you with –

an espresso and off you go. Think about what, that would be my version of a spa. Yeah. That, that is like, that is getting into deranged Roman emperor territory there, but that's fantastic. How is that not available in Vegas? Get, get people so food drunk and happy and you massage them back and then they, I mean, you push them back out onto the gaming floor in this happy endorphin days and they, and they spend even more money because you're in such a good mood. Yeah.

But the fact that no one's thought of that... Look, you can go to a mall and get an IV. Literally, a mall. A strip mall. And get an IV to put fluids in you from getting all fucked up at night. But no one's thought of this? I don't get it. Yeah. Actually, you can do that weird fluid thing to avoid...

Hangovers. Oh, yeah, that's very sketchy. An IV drip in a mall. That's where I want to go. Yeah. Could I be near a sunglass kiosk when we do this medical procedure? Is there still a Suncoast video company open that I can do my episiotomy near? So good. I know what I want to talk to you about. I want to laud you, sir.

for your performance in Young Adult. For those of you who never saw Young Adult, you were so spectacular in that movie. I love that movie so much. Did you love it? That was one of those scripts that I was sent

I actually, you know, I've become friends with Jason Reitman. We met at a dog park. We both owned French Bulldogs. So we met at a Frenchie meetup and started, you know, nerding out about films because he's a big film nerd. He's like Quentin or Edgar, all those guys. Directors that also, when they're not directing movies, they watch 19 movies a day. So he was doing a table read for this script that Diablo had written. And we did a couple. He didn't have that part cast, so I came in just to read

to fill that part at the time. And Charlize and I got along so well. And our chemistry was just great. She has a great sense of humor. And he just said, well, how about you just play this role? Obviously, I was thrilled because the script was so good, but it was very intimidating. The thing that ended up intimidating me way more was what a genuinely brilliant actor she is. And not in that method sense. She's on that higher level where she can drop into that character and

and be Mavis and be this real, I mean, just a really repellent character. And she never, you know, Shirley's loved Mavis, but never tried to win the audience over to make her cute or sweet, committed to how horrible she was. And she could be that in the scene and then pop right out of it. And,

and just be Charlize and be fun and happy and cool. And then action and then boom, drop back into it. That was, she wasn't one of those, I'm in character, don't address me as Charlize. She was on that Jedi level and that was there. So I worked for a long time with an acting coach, really got the part down. I did not want to show up not ready.

you're great in it. It's a great movie. She's great in it. Cause she's so unlike, Oh my God. I mean, never, ever gives the audience. And not only is she unlikable, the seat, someone pointed this out to me. Um,

In the nighttime scenes, when she's had a couple and she's dressed up, she's comfy and fast-witted and great. But in the daylight scenes, it's like the power's been drained out of her. And when you watch her walk, there's a scene of her walking along the road and she looks... It almost looks like it's a different actress. That is how...

Completely, she personifies how damaged this person is during the daylight hours. And it's just incredible to watch. Yeah, if you guys haven't seen Young Adult, what it came out, what, 2011? 2011, yeah, that's when that came out.

Let's talk about Mystery Science Theater 3000 for a minute. Because, perfect example, guess what TikTok brings up for me? Mystery Science Theater clips. Like how it knows that I love Mystery Science Theater, I have no idea. No idea. But it reminds me of how absolutely genius that franchise was. Did you love being a part of the new iteration?

Oh, my God. That show in the early 90s, back when it was on the Ha Ha Channel. It wasn't even Comedy Central yet. It was the Ha Ha Channel. And that was a local access show out of Minneapolis. And I'd never seen...

a show so perfectly captured what it's like to hang out with comedians and have us ripping. And also how the best comedy a lot of times comes out of, well, this is a boring situation. How do we make it fun? And that's kind of the ongoing thing about you can make... It was weird how it became very relevant during the quarantine and during the shutdown. Okay, we've got to make our own fun here because we're stuck. And then also just for a big movie buff like me to see...

where, you know, future stars or not even... In my mind, a movie is this...

big deal and it's an achievement and it comes out and well it's going to be but then you realize 90% of movies get made and then are just in they're just gone they're like who made this why was this made it's just out there in the ether and people work just as hard on that like people work just as hard on a forgotten film as they do on something like Citizen Kane or Chinatown like people still showed up and they were trying to make it good so

I have a real affection for that. Wow, they really did do this for the love of it. They really showed up and tried to make this movie. Even something like Manos, The Hands of Fate, which the Mystery Science Theater...

There shouldn't even be a version of Manos without them commenting on it, because otherwise it's unwatchable. It's like an assault on the senses. Yes. But the guy that made it made it with passion and love and wanted to try to make something beautiful. It's like, oh my God. My wife and I can't watch anything together, because I am...

I can't help – if it's not really good, and I mean really good. If it's either – if it's not really good, I'm one of the – I'm like the robot. I'm there talking smack. And it's the most fun thing in the world.

to watch. Oh, yeah. I mean, it also shows, you know you're in a good relationship where you guys can watch something together that isn't good, that doesn't work, and you can still have fun. Like, if you watch something great, oh my God, we're both enjoying this wonderful film. You watch something horrible and you start to comment and try to make it, especially, you know, Meredith,

has done, and I have done our share of bad films and bad TV shows. And we, so we have so much when we're ribbing it, we are, we come from such a, uh, uh, uh, uh,

a place of sympathy and we're still rooting for these people in this horrible situation, you know, looking at this stuff. So there's that extra element to it. I mean, Meredith has been in a couple of movies that she thinks would be great on MST3K. I'm sure we've all made movies that you're like, the MST3K could run all over this. I would love to do my least favorite movies of my own canon.

on that. It would be... Maybe that's a new version we should pitch to Netflix. You and I do that. Or they do an episode of MST3K where the Mads have captured you and sent you up to the satellite because they're like, we want to see if we can actually break the actors themselves. It's one thing to break Jonah, but if we could actually break...

these Hollywood actors and get them to do our bidding and let's show them their worst work and people snap. But you end up having a blast making fun of it and they're like, no! I'm in. So are you on the road now with the tour? Yeah, right now I just started touring just back on the road, you know, doing theaters and for the most part everyone's following some pretty draconian

um, COVID protocols because during the shutdown, a lot of these places almost closed. And I'm sure you've experienced this too with, with, with movies and TV. I've done, I've, I've done a film. I've done a bunch of TV. They almost all shut down. So they're like, we're not playing around with people going, I don't know if I have my question. Right. Well then don't work here. Like just get the shot, show us your card, take your COVID test. So, you know, I actually feel pretty, pretty secure. Right.

So that's good. But yeah, I'm in New York right now. I'm doing this little black box theater off of Connecticut Avenue. I don't know if you've heard of it. Yeah, I'm doing the Kennedy Center. I sold out the first show, so they added a second one. Come on! Really good! Yeah. Oh, what a thrill!

Yeah, yeah. I'm very excited. I mean, I think you need to record it because, you know, live from the Kennedy Center is kind of you can't. But I mean, you can't top that, really. Well, this is my warm up tour for the Netflix special that I'll do next year. And maybe I'll film it at the Kennedy Center. That actually might be really good.

live from the Kennedy Center made to enjoy. Make sure they take you into the presidential box. It's pretty special. We were able to shoot a West Wing episode

Oh, that's right. In the box. It's pretty cool. Where Bartlett faces down with James Brolin and they have that little thing about crime. Boy, I don't know. How great is that? Boy. Oh, you just... James, I just love that he just leans into how hateful that character is but makes him so charming. Like, oh, that's why he's

almost going to be the president because he's so charming right now. Yeah, we were, I think we were the only people ever allowed to film in the presidential box. It was pretty cool. Wow. It's also the one where, it's the one where I give, I give Leo McGarry's daughter the speech about space and why we explore, why humans are engineered to explore. Oh.

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Do you have a pretentious vocal warm-up? Because if you don't, I think you need to have one. I can give you mine, but I think you really need to have one.

It's weird. I don't have a vocal warm-up, but some of my comedian friends who are older are saying, get together with a voice coach and just get a basic vocal warm-up, because as you get older, you're going to need one, and it will actually help you to sustain if you want to keep doing this. So apparently, do you have a vocal warm-up? I actually do. Really? And I've never had, knock on wood, an issue with... I did, like...

I did like 160 performances of A Few Good Men with Sorkin. He and I went to the West End in London after West Wing. Really? And I never had a vocal... And that's a... Kathy's a talking... Yeah. And I never had an issue, but I always had a vocal warm-up. Took it really seriously. It's not a big deal, but I did it every single day. Yeah, yeah. I've been told that you gotta start looking at that. Because I want to keep doing...

stand-up and the acting roles I get tend to be very, very chatty. I don't play a lot of dark, silent thugs. I play a lot of fast-talking weasels trying to not get killed. So that's kind of my...

I'm the guy in the 1940s crime movie in the steam bath going, Johnny, I didn't say nothing. You know, I never banged. Like that kind of thing. Oh, you would be so good in that. That's a good period for you. Have you ever done a period piece like that? No. And I would, I mean, I did a kind of a version of it on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. They go back in time and they meet

I play a character in Shield and they meet one of my ancestors back in the 30s, a guy running a speakeasy. And I kind of look like John Pulido. And I got this kind of a bit of an accent. I'm just like, you know, but no, I would love to do something completely set in a specific, especially the 40s, 40s or 50s and just how, you know,

you know, messed up that world was and how fascinating it is. You could use all those like handles on the dialogue that they had then that they don't anymore. Like using the word see all the time, like he's going to walk out around five o'clock, see? Or the great lead up to the, ah, that ain't it. Yeah, you mothery jelly beans. Like that kind of, there's always those weird noises they'll do before they land the line. I love it. I love that stuff. Love it.

Okay, before we go, I got to ask because you're a huge like pop culture movie. It sounds really banal, but and I would never ask anyone other than this you because I value your opinion so much. Top three movies. Of all time or what I'm watching right now. Oh, well, first of all, first of all, I like the right now thing. I love that notion because that means it's subject to change, which I think is freeing. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, if I'm going to name my top five movies of all time based on how many times I've watched them, for me, it would be Repo Man, Murder on the Orient Express, the 1974 one. Oh, Kurosawa's Ikiru, which I know that sounds pretentious, but that's an amazing, genuinely amazing film. And then probably...

I mean, Goodfellas is just a perfect film. Okay. I have a lot of thoughts. First of all, this is the best day of Emilio Estevez's life. That you put Repo Man above Kurosawa and Goodfellas. It's so good.

It's repo man was for me. Again, you're asking about personal film that, that represents such a personal time in my life when it's the mid eighties, I'm living in the suburbs of Northern Virginia. We got, we got everything late. So punk passed us by in the seventies. I discovered punk when I saw the movie repo man, which I rented from Errol's video. It was not available in the theaters, not where I live. And, uh,

Could not believe this soundtrack. Couldn't believe that the idea, because I just started getting jobs. I just was my, the beginning of my employment and jobs to me seemed like they were so crappy. And that movie made it seem like it was fun to have a crappy job and maybe you'll encounter aliens and save the world. And the dialogue was, I'd never seen, I'd never seen a comedy where everyone in the movie is playing it.

a thousand percent deadly serious. No one's trying to be funny and get a joke. They're all like completely, no, there's nothing funny, which made it 10 times funnier. And the scenes of Emilio and, and Harry Dean Stanton driving around and just talking are some of the best and they're scripted. I don't think any of it is, um, impromptu.

but it feels improvised because Emilio's character is giving Harry nothing. I don't know. Fine. Whatever. Like, he's just this angry child. And then Harry's just yelling at him. That just so reminded me of my relationship with my parents and my teachers. And I'd never seen it nailed that way on film. The great Alex Cox directed. I remember going to visit Emilio on the set of Repo Man.

You did? Oh, yeah. Yeah, for sure. That was a very, it is a very cool underutilized movie. But I agree with you, by the way, on Goodfellas. It's my favorite movie of all time. Goodfellas is it. There's nothing close. It's it. I could watch it every single day. Every single day I could watch it. And there's something new that you see in the background, like the way he directs.

Everyone, everything is there for a reason. Even stuff that seems like it's throwaway. It's just perfect. I can't get enough of that film. Here's my nerded out deep dive thing on Goodfellas. So I have so many favorite scenes. It's hard to pick. Oh, God. But the scene where Henry drives her back to her parents' house and he gets over and violently beats the shit out of, right? You know the scene. The tree. The tree.

is in bloom. Okay? Right. And way earlier or later in the movie, I forget which one it is, they have another entrance and the same tree is in bloom and you go, oh, they shot those scenes on the exact same day. All right. And they're totally different times in the time frame because Goodfellas takes place over like 20 years or whatever it is. Wow. So yeah, check that shit out.

Oh my God. Well, you know, I, the scene that everyone quotes obviously is the, you know, why am I funny scene with, with Joe Pesci, which is a great thing. But if you watch it again, listen to all the other actors in the scene, they're all, because apparently that scene wasn't scripted. Joe Pesci told Scorsese the story about

of a guy, of a monster that did that to him. And he went, go do that to Ray Liotta in the scene. So none of the other actors know what's about to happen. And if you watch them, they're all responding. Like at one point he goes, he's a big boy, Anthony knows what he said. I mean, you can hear the guy motor like, right. Yeah, you're right. You're right. Like they're all trying to, even though they, they're not the focus of the scene, they're adding to the tension by trying to calm Tommy down. Cause that was like, that was like Scorsese's almost,

stock company, basically, of those great character actors. And they're all, they're adding, I mean, the scenes between Pesci and Leota, but all those other actors are adding all this other

other tension to the scene and it's amazing that he caught all these little these little performances I mean that's just what an amazing director he is my favorite by the way I saw a director's cut of that movie wait where what I was in Europe and I ran into Erwin Winkler in the lobby of the hotel I was staying in I knew Erwin I didn't have anything to do I said what are you doing we were in Paris we were shopping I'm going to see a rough cut of Marty's new movie you want to come

And we and I went to a little tiny screening room in Paris. I didn't know what I was seeing. Never heard of it. And I watched it was it was what it was. I think it was the final cut. It was not mixed, you know, no, no effects whatsoever.

And it blew my absolute mind. Was it in the order that it's in the film where it starts kind of in the present day and goes back? Nothing, nothing different. Nothing different. It was literally Layla was in it. All of it. It was, it was, it was good fella, but it was not time. It was clearly probably his final cut with none of the bells and whistles on it.

Remember when they used to have dissolves and they would do the magic marker across the screen? Yep. Instead of having a dissolve. It had that kind of stuff on it. Oh, wow. Because that's a soundtrack for a movie.

And Repo Man 2 has a soundtrack that even if you play all those songs in order without watching the movie, the songs tell a story of traveling through time and here's the 50s and then things are getting crazy. Then the piano part of Layla, which is that world is ending. And now it's just the insane...

cocaine 80s of Jump Into the Fire and Monkey Man and everything's going well. Like, the soundtrack itself is as good as the movie. Well, listen, people listening to the pod, if you don't love movies like these two idiots talking on this podcast, don't get into show business. This is why we get... We suffer the slings and arrows and we've done just fine. I'm not saying we didn't, but this is why we do it because we love it so much. We love...

And also, we earn the right to talk crap about bad movies because we love the good ones so much. Yes. And also, and again, you know this, you watch a bad movie and you're like, I can tell where this was about to go right, but they made this wrong decision and this and this and this, and that's why it went wrong. Like, you know how movies, we know how movies can go wrong.

And you can start off with like, oh, we've got this good. And then it just goes the wrong. It happens all the time and it kills you when you see what could have been a great movie and it doesn't work. Well, someday this podcast is going to end. God help me. I love it. So, yeah. Thanks, brother. This was so fun. This was great. So good talking to you, man. Thank you. Well, if you've learned nothing else listening to this, you've learned that a factory is

is not a good place to go and have spaghetti. And I'm so happy that I found somebody that shares my hatred of factories to eat in. Factories keep the world going. Anyway, I don't know. I love having Patton on the show. He was awesome. You're awesome. I see the light is flashing on the answering machine here in the studio. That is the low down line. Hello, you've reached literally in our low down line.

where you can get the lowdown on all things about me, Rob Lowe. 323-570-4551. So have at it. Here's the beep. Beep.

Hey, Rob. My name's Wes. I'm from Hamilton, New Jersey, and I'm 23. I'm a young actor, and I just got enough hours for my SAG card, saving up money for that, and also saving up money to go out to L.A. early next year. I was just curious if you have any tips for, you know, I know you say a lot of stuff on the podcast for young actors and everything like that, but...

you know, I love doing this and going out to LA. I just wanted to see if you have any, uh, any tips or anything, uh, any guidance you can help me with. Uh, I love you. Love, love the podcast. Love your movies, your shows, everything. Um, thank you for what you do, man. I really appreciate your work. Thank you. Bye-bye. Oh, wow, man. Hey, listen, first of all, congratulations on joining the Screen Actors Guild. Welcome. Um, it's, it's, it's an honor to be

And in such a great union with such great esteemed company and the fact that you've accomplished that is no small feat. And, you know, people will tell you the odds, but you know what I say to that? Why not me? Why not you? Somebody's got to do it. So I always remember that. And.

You know, for, for me is, is you're making the right thing is like, if you want to play in the Superbowl, you have to go to the stadium. That's number one. You already figured that out. You got to come to LA. You got to come to New York. You just have to good on you for that. And then look, man, when, when, when you get out here, it's, it's, you just say yes to everything.

And you never know where it's going to lead. You truly never. I mean, I got cast opposite Maggie Smith, uh, in a national theater production of suddenly last summer based on the guy, the director seeing me in Wayne's world. So, I mean, honestly, you just don't know. And all experience is good experience and, um, read, read a ton. Life experience is better than acting experience. And, um,

You know, I think that training is great and acting teachers are great and can be great, but there are some bad ones. And a bad acting teacher can really screw you beyond all measure. So just be careful about that. Because, you know, as an actor, all you got to do is listen, be honest, don't act. Good luck to you. I hope I see you on a set one day.

Don't forget to download the whole season. We've got really great folks coming up. So get ready and I will see you next week on Literally. You have been listening to Literally with Rob Lowe, produced and engineered by me, Rob Schulte. Our coordinating producer is Lisa Berm. The podcast is executive produced by Rob Lowe for Low Profile, Jeff Ross, Adam Sachs, and Joanna Solitaroff at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson at Stitcher.

Our talent bookers are Gina Batista, Paula Davis, and Britt Kahn. And music is by Devin Tory Bryant. Make sure to leave us a rating and review, and we'll see you next week. This has been a Team Coco production in association with Stitcher.

All set for your flight? Yep. I've got everything I need. Eye mask, neck pillow, T-Mobile, headphones. Wait, T-Mobile? You bet. Free in-flight Wi-Fi. 15% off all Hilton brands. I never go anywhere without T-Mobile. Same goes for my water bottle, chewing gum, nail clippers. Okay, I'm going to leave you to it. Find out how you can experience travel better at T-Mobile.com slash travel. ♪

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