Rob Lowe Can’t Wait for JB Smoove’s New Podcast!
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That's 15% off at SaatchiArt.com. S-A-A-T-C-H-I-Art.com. Ever wish your favorite TV show had twice as many episodes? Everyone knows that feeling, and so does Discover. Everyone wants more of their favorites. That's why Discover doubles another favorite thing, cash back.

That's right. Discover automatically doubles the cash back earned on your credit card at the end of your first year with Cash Back Match. Now that's a real crowd pleaser. Everyone knows how it ends. Double the cash back. See terms at discover.com slash credit card. Hello, it's me, Rob Lowe, and I could not be more excited. There is a special new podcast from Team Coco, and I'm just cutting right to it. People love

J.B. Smoove. I mean, come on. J.B. Smoove? Get out! He has the answers. And he has a new podcast. It's called May I Elaborate? Daily Wisdom from J.B. Smoove. I'm just going to say the title again because it tells you everything you need to know. And I'm already subscribing. May I Elaborate? Daily Wisdom from J.B. Smoove. Yes, please. And if you don't know Mr. Smoove, it's Ouvre.

Curb Your Enthusiasm, his amazing work on TV and film. And now this daily podcast every morning, Monday through Friday, JB will take an inspirational quote and squeeze even more meaning and motivation out of it in a way that only he can do. And each episode is only like 10 minutes long. This is the perfect way to kick off your day. If it's meditating or doing this, I'm choosing this.

I've got an episode for you to listen to right here. Okay, right now. So listen, enjoy, find some inner peace and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. New day, new you. Wake your ass up. Only. Monday through Friday. Fucking gratitude. Be mine. You're listening to May I Elaborate? Daily wisdom from me, J.B. Smoove. Ha ha. Look at you. Do you even know where you are right now?

I always say look at you because I want you to look at yourself. You know? I want you to have a place where you can be the best you. The best fucking you that you can be. They say that shit in the army too. Be all you can be. Fuck that. Be all you can be. You know what I say? I say that shit incorrect. I tell motherfuckers, be all me can be. Trying to keep your ass 100. 100. All the kids say that right now. I'm going to keep it 100 on you.

I'm going to keep it 101, 102. I might fuck around and go 120 on your ass. I don't know. Sometimes it depends how fast I'm driving. Hey, tell your ass, sometimes you're driving in the 55 mile per hour zone with your ass doing 75 in your mind. Oh, shit. Did you see what I just said to you? Some of this stuff, you should be writing down or memorizing and keeping that shit in the back of your head. Fuck around and be a term paper or some shit like that. So I'm J.B. Smoove.

I'm your guide to enlightenment. I want to introduce you guys to my co-host, Miles. Hey. Hey, Miles. Hey. People always ask where the fuck you met at. You know what I always say? I don't tell people a specific place. Right. Like one of those aisles in Target or some shit like that. Or Walmart. You know what I tell them? The universe. We met in the fucking universe. See? Well, it was New York. Yeah. It could be a little more specific. But yeah, I get what you're saying, though. Yeah. Yeah.

Hey, Miles, tell us what we're here to do. Well, every day on May I Elaborate, Daily Wisdom from J.B. Smooth, we're going to be looking at a new daily quote from a box calendar. You know, the ones that have the positive quotes on them. Between J.B. and I, we have a pretty big collection of them. So every day I'll just pick a calendar and a quote to read to J.B. and he'll elaborate on it. Tell us, J.B., what do you mean by elaborate?

means I'm going to try to dig into the quote to see if I can get all the wisdom and inspiration we can out of it. You know, it's kind of like, you know, when you get a massage and you tell the lady to lay it on me and give me that deep tissue and she puts the elbow in your tissue of your back. I'm going to be doing that to you all the time. I mean, these quotes are pretty good, but I think I can give you an even deeper insight

Tissue massage, if I may elaborate on that. Okay. Well, we'll probably have to come up with a safe word. JB, people know you as just an extremely funny comedian and a very talented actor. Why are you doing this? Why do you feel like you need to do a podcast where you give people advice? Miles, I do this shit all day. I give people advice constantly, Miles.

I have a unique delivery, unique voice. People fucking believe me when I say some shit like that. They believe I fucking lived it. You know why? Because half the time I have lived that shit, Miles. You need a motherfucker who can mirror you, who understands your fucking thoughts, but at the same time can motivate your ass to better yourself.

Not that he's figured it all out, but God damn it, someone who's on their way with you. Well, you heard it, people. JB is clearly a qualified and certified self-help guru. And by certified, I mean not at all. Today, our quote comes from the Zen Page a Day calendar from Workman Publishing. So get that elaboration brain going. Here it is.

I cried for happiness, for sadness, but most of all for emptiness. And that quote is by Dal Kim. Oh, I'm going to elaborate the shit out of that one. I feel it. I feel it. Yeah. Wait, before you elaborate, I think we should take a quick break. It sounds good. We'll be right back. Look at us. We back. And before we went to a break, I laid this on you.

I cried for happiness, for sadness, but most of all, for emptiness. That's a lot of crying. That's a lot of fucking crying. Let me lay this on you right now. If you sit there and allow your ass to cry continuously over shit like sadness, happiness, emptiness, once you start crying, your ass start crying over every fucking thing.

And that, in turn, will not just affect your mental, but also your fucking health. How so? You are allowing fluids from your body to exit your body, causing fucking dehydration. Let me tell you something. Your ass gonna get sick.

You're going to fuck around and be in a fucking hospital bed with the intravenous hooked up to your ass because you are low on your fucking fluids. Because you keep fucking crying over shit. I get you're saying it's a lot of tears, but tears of joy versus tears of sadness, does that matter to you at all? Fuck yeah, it matters to me. But you don't got to cry that fucking much over every goddamn thing. My mama used to call that, you know what they call that in the medical world? What?

My mama said this too, but even medical doctors say this shit. They call that a waterhead. You know what a fucking waterhead is? That's somebody's fucking head is full of fucking water. I'm not talking about just fucking tears. I'm talking about the body loses fluids in all kinds of ways. Fucking urine, sweat, crying, of course. You know, pissing. That's all fluids. That's bodily fluids in your body. You can't afford to lose all that shit over crying.

I must add another shit up. You seem to be pretty knowledgeable on bodily fluids, but I don't think you're addressing the bigger issue at hand. Okay, so what do they do instead? What's the healthy release of all of these emotions? The only one I accept is tears of joy. That means we have accomplished our goal into getting you in a place where you are fucking happy enough to accept your happiness.

So you're saying you got to choose what you're going to cry about. You got to choose, of course. It's hard to tell you don't cry over spilled milk. That's another thing. They say that shit all the fucking time. You know who cries over spilled milk? Fucking cows. Cows are the only ones I know that cry over spilled milk. You know why? Because motherfuckers is wasting that shit. If you fucking spill milk, you know who loves milk? Fucking calves. You know why? Because that's their mommy. Their mommy give them the fucking udder.

And they suck on that shit and they get nutrition. They get nutrition. That's what the fuck that milk is for. Miles, like for instance, Miles, question. Were you a formula baby or a titty baby?

That's a very personal question. Here's why I ask for that. Yeah. A formula comes from a shelf. A titty has breast milk. You know what I'm saying? That's why I'm never offended when I see a titty pop out at a party or a lady pull a titty out on the bus to feed her child. Beautiful. I like that you added to feed her child. I just wondered were people just doing that around you, just pulling them out for no reason? No. In the outside world,

A titty and feeding your child should be acceptable. I agree with you. You are nourishing a young king, a young queen coming into this world. Were you a formula baby or a titty baby? I was a titty baby. I'm a titty baby. Nothing wrong with formula. You know what I mean? Nothing wrong with formula.

Foaming still nourishes the body. Some people, depending on the consistency of said breast milk, some breast milk is thin, thinner. Some is thicker. You know what I mean? Some breast milk in the wintertime is like a milkshake because it's a little frost on that motherfucker. It becomes more of a milkshake titty. Fucking baby need a straw to drink that shit. Remember the old straws in McDonald's? Yeah. The big fat ass straw with the red stripes on them?

See, sometimes you need a big ass straw to drink that fucking titty milk. Let me ask you a question. We're talking a lot about crying. Are you a big crier? Do you cry a lot? You know what? I don't cry a lot. I'm going to be honest. But like, what about like at a Pixar movie or something like that? Like Toy Story or something? Toy Story. Now, Toy Story sure was hard. Ain't a lot. But if I do, I excuse myself. I say, excuse me one second.

You know, and I walk my ass to the fucking restroom or some shit like that, go in a little stall and release that shit. See, my shit is more combined. You know, it won't just be tears. Mine should be outrage and fucking like, ah! I give one of those. Sometimes one of those replaces my tears. If you could just wrap this up, what's the takeaway? We learned that, you know, cows...

don't like you laughing at them spilling the milk and all that stuff. Losing a lot of bodily fluids is unhealthy. But what is the takeaway for today? The takeaway today is keep your ass hydrated. Hydration is what's going to come back

You losing your fucking fluids and crying over stupid shit. Hydrate. Overhydrate yourself. Overhydrate yourself. Drink that fucking Poland Spring. You know I like that smart water. That shit hydrates your ass. And that fucking Fiji water. Oh my God. Come on, Miles. That fucking Fiji water. That shit. It's water, but the shit don't taste like water. You know what Fiji is? Fiji water really is? Water? Baby tears.

Well, that's it for today. And thanks for listening to our very first episode of May I Elaborate. It's exciting, huh, JB? Sure is. I guess we'll see people back here tomorrow and do it all over again. Yeah, we're Monday through Friday. Miles and I kick back on the weekend. So we should do the same thing. Hydrate and rest.

Yeah.

And finally, follow us on Instagram at Team Coco Podcast. Our sexy asses will be popping up there every now and then. Thank you so much for listening, and we'll see you back here tomorrow. You really think I'm sexy? You all right, man. It just went down to all right. No, it's okay. Dang.

That was May I Elaborate with J.B. Smoove. If you enjoyed it, go subscribe wherever you get your podcast. And this is me, Rob Lowe, and I will be back with another episode of Literally This Thursday.

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