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Hey, everybody. Welcome to this week's literally. I'm so happy to have my buddy, Rob Riggle. The Big Rig, as I like to call him. I mean, he's, you know, he's been in everything that you've ever loved, whether it's Step Brothers, The Hangover, 21 Jump Street, The Daily Show. You know, he played Colonel Sanders in the commercials. I mean, he's been in everything.
Who doesn't love those? And he's just a great guy. He's a Midwestern dude like me. He's a big Kansas City. There aren't many Midwesterners. Well, actually, there are a lot of Midwesterners in Hollywood, and we kind of stick together. And we kind of, we have a secret handshake. You know what I'm saying? You know, Midwesterners for life. Yo. So let's get it down. Rob Riggle.
You look like you're ready to kick some ass. It's the growth. It makes me look like a roughneck, I guess. No, no. The secret of the growth is it enhances your cheekbones. Oh, I like that. And we're all looking for that. Oh, who isn't? Yeah. And, you know, the thing is with a little bit of growth, it makes your chin – I've got a pretty substantive chin. So if I grow a beard, I look like –
I know. Do you remember the puppet Waylon Flowers and Madam? Do you remember the ventriloquist doll where the, where the chin and that chin? Yeah. That's what I look like. Google Waylon Flowers and Madam. And that's what my chin looks like. If I have a, if I have a beard, what's up brother. How's your, how's your new year going? It's going great so far. No complaints. I've had a nice week off of
Doing nothing but everything I want to do, which is so rare. Reading the books I want to read, chilling out, watching football, falling asleep on the couch with no guilt. It's been awesome. It's so good. The couch sleep. Mike Myers says one half an hour couch sleep is worth one day of bed sleep. There's something about it. Yeah, especially in a – and we mentioned this. It was a Haagen-Dazs.
stupor as well. I'm in day two of completely cutting desserts. What? Dude, why would you set yourself up for failure like that? That's dessert cutoff for a year? But here's the thing. Look, I am totally like recovering alcoholic addict. And I know when I'm
when I've bottomed out on something, the only way for me is draconian. Got it. Uh, moves, you know, like I'm not a guy who can dabble my little pinky or big toe into the pool here and there. So, um, and the other thing about sugar, as you know, is, is it's,
the gnarliest most addictive it's more addictive than heroin honestly it's so funny you're saying all this stuff because one of the things i have been really looking at and reading and all the people all these wise sages out there and motivational speakers or personal growth people that i listen to uh they've been hitting really hard on sugar sugar sugar and what and when i read about it it is unbelievable how bad it is and the quantities that i eat especially
And now I've gone, instead of just drinking straight out of the Haagen-Dazs pint, which I'm pretty good at, now I make chocolate shakes, which, you know, forget about it. It's like I've really done it to myself now. Ice cream is my downfall. And I can get to the point where I look like I'm in my second trimester with a Haagen-Dazs baby. I will...
I mean, I do a good job of hiding it, but I'll be like, the names at least need to be, make sense. I would do Dutch, Dutch or German. Yeah, and you could do, you could do, what's Swenson's was a good one. Man, you're bringing back some great references.
What's the one? Farrell. Remember Farrell? I do remember Farrell's. I remember Swenson's, though. Not many people remember Swenson's. That's a Midwest thing, maybe. Yeah, I'm going to go with Swenson Farrell, low. Whew.
Have you met my son, Swenson Farrell Lowe, Ice Cream Baby? He sounds amazing. It wouldn't last long, I'll be honest. No, it wouldn't. You'd be that big bear, Rob Riggle, just come in like a fuck, like a grizzly that I know you to be. Has anybody seen Swenson? No, Rob Aiden. Yeah, classic Riggle. I heard you were voted most humorous in high school. Is that true? It is true. Well, here's my favorite.
is the phrase most humorous. Not most hilarious. Not class clown. I wouldn't take that title. It's clear that there's a whole sector of people, I play golf with a lot of them, where they enjoy comedy as much as the next person, but to them it's the most foreign. It would be like me talking about cold fission.
They talk about it like there's this unknowable, mysterious, and the notion of most humorous. Yeah.
Tells me it was those types of people. Yeah. He's really, have you met Rob Regal? He is very humorous. He really enjoys the humor. The humorous guy with the, with the yuckety yucks and the crack. Oh, he can, he can, I'm telling you when he does, um, he's got some jokes. He's got a really funny walk. Have you seen the funny walk? Show him the funny walk, Rob. And then you, you know, I don't know what you're talking about. And then you end up trying to do a funny walk. No one thinks it's funny. And everybody chases you out of the building.
with rocks and, and bats. It's, it's actually happened. I've always thought you were super funny. I love people say that like other people don't, I don't mean it that way. Everybody thinks you're super funny, but my, my favorite thing that we've done together, it has to be when you were on my roast at comedy center. Like how. That was a special night. And I brag about you being the smartest guy in the world. Cause you, you, you put, um,
Ann Coulter on your dais. And that's just a genius all-time move. It's just so smart. It's smart for a couple reasons. One was she was such a lightning rod and such an interesting, or depending on your perspective, awful choice. And the notion that everybody was there to knock the crap out of me, but the person they really wanted to knock the crap out of was Ann Coulter. Like, I...
Make no mistake, I got hammered. People hammered me, which is what you're there for. But nothing like she got hammered. Yeah, she took the she it was a wonderful like Captain America's shield just took a lot of the sun's rays.
It took a lot of the heat. For me, yeah. Yeah, but I don't know. I mean, I think you put together a good group of people because everybody out there loved you. I mean, sincerely had a great appreciation for you. So even though they brought the heat,
It wasn't an awkward thing at all to me. I sat back. I'd never laughed so hard. That whole night, I just laughed. I couldn't get enough. I couldn't get enough. I'm telling you, it was one of my favorite nights of my career. It really was. That's so awesome. It was absolutely...
I just loved, I mean, who, so we had you, we had Peyton Manning, we had Jewel, we had, um, Pete Davidson, um, before he became the biggest star in the world. Um, you had, uh, Spade was hosting, uh,
Ralph Macchio. Yeah. Nikki Glaser. And Jimmy Carr. Oh, Jimmy Carr. He's a pistol. Dude. Jeez. Dude, Jimmy Carr. It's hard for me to figure out who was funnier. And that's saying every single person...
Yeah. Crushed it. That's what I was like. Everybody brought it. Everybody brought it. It was fantastic. It is. It remains their Comedy Central's most watched, most successful, most replayed roast. Really? Well, I can believe it. I have people come up to me all the time talking about, oh, my gosh, I love that roast. Oh, my gosh, that was so fun. So I believe it. It might be the only time that I have bigger numbers than some than than Justin Bieber.
It might be the only time I'm going to beat the Biebs. Yeah, well, I have to take it, take it and wear it with pride because that's nobody beats the Biebs. Do you think it's is it you or is it? Oh, man, my boy from Modern Family. Stone Street. Yes. Stone Street. Who who's the mayor? Who's the mayor of Kansas sports more? You or Stone Street? It's me, clearly. But it's you. But but he has the distinct advantage of living in Kansas City right now.
So I didn't realize, I didn't realize he was living. I think he is. I think he's spending most of his time back there now and, uh, doing wonderful things in the community. So he, he may be, you know, making a play for the title. I like when famous people move back to where they're from to become the Kings of the area. It's like, you know, John, John Cougar, Mellencamp, John Mellencamp. Yes. Um, you know, he's like, when you go to Bloomington, you know, he's like,
He's the king of Bloomington. Absolutely. Prince is the king of... Minneapolis. Ironically, the prince...
was actually the king. See how it works? How ironic that was? That is. That's a twist. Most people aren't paying attention. And he pulled it off. And, you know, it's like Brian Adams up in Vancouver. Yep. Rob Riggle in Kansas City, that kind of stuff. Rob Riggle in Kansas City. You know, there's a whole Robert Redford up in Sundance. You in Cincinnati, perhaps? No, that's apparently Emilio Estevez. It's Emilio Estevez of all people, apparently. What? No.
Yes. Apparently Emilio, fellow Brat Packer, has packed it up and is living in the over the Rhine, as they call it, which is the kind of Silver Lake district. Well, Cincinnati. Good for him, I guess. That's a beautiful city. Yeah, it's a great city. But you yeah, you you've got the market cornered. You're kind of loving life there. What do you chiefs all the way this year? Chiefs all the way. Yeah.
I have a lot of faith, even though they have lost to the Bengals and the Bills this year. I think they got it. I think they got the magic that started to die on them. People know I love football and I take a lot of crap because I wore an NFL hat that didn't have this kind of become a thing. And I realized that was sort of a happy accident mistake that became an online sensation. But the truth of it is that actually is me because I realized that the Rams moved here and I'm like, Rams, Rams, Rams, Rams, Rams.
They went to the Super Bowl. Now they suck. And I realize I actually am a it's more about the NFL and the individual players for me because I grew up without a team. You know, I grew up in Ohio and Dayton. No one was a Bengals fan because they were so bad. The Browns were bad. Then I moved to California, had my heart broken when the Rams left and the Raiders left. So I became a fan of people in the league. And currently my man is Joe Burrow.
I don't blame you. He's hot to trot. I had him in one of my fantasy leagues this year. Do you play fantasy? I did for a while, and it got to be too much. Yeah, it can be. It can be a lot. It got to be too overwhelming. And I'll tell you, the other thing is, when the league moved away from the star running back offense to running back by committee, that's just too much for me. I can't manage three running backs on every team. Can't do it. It's a beast.
You're a Marine. I love that about you. I'm a big, big supporter of our armed forces, as you know. Yes. And there aren't that many people out. I mean, it feels like in Hollywood, there aren't all there used to be, obviously, post-World War Two, because everybody served. But there aren't a ton of guys and gals really.
coming out of the armed forces going, well, actually makes perfect sense. You're under pinned down under fire in Afghanistan. And you say, you know what? When I get out of here, I want to be an actor. I don't think that happens to most people. I think there is, you know, I do. I work with this group called the Veterans in Film and Television. And I didn't know there was such a thing. That's amazing. Yeah. We actually meet over the American Legion post 43 right there by the Hollywood Bowl.
No way. Yeah, down in that little, they have a nice bar down there. I know exactly where it is. Yeah, yeah. And they do, I'm seeing more and more people, veterans, wanting to get into show business in all kinds of ways, whether it's they want to be DPs, they want to be directors, producers, writers, actors, whatever it is, but they are starting to
show an interest and you're, and there's this, this, uh, a movement. And so this group, you know, gets together and they, you know, say, Hey, there's a project cabinet here. Hey, they're looking for, they're casting here. They're doing that. They're doing this. Um, and so you're seeing more and more of that, which is, which is really good. Um, that's great. Yeah. Yeah. Because I, I agree. It used to be, uh, you used to see it all the time. I mean, Charles Durning and Lee Marvin, Lee Marvin. Uh, and you, I mean, you go down captain kangaroo, there's a whole list of, yeah. But, um,
Yeah, you don't see it as much because a life in the arts, as you know, you know, it's a difficult life. It's not easy. And it tests your determination and are you willing to stay in and deal with it? Because it takes about, give or take, about 10 years to get a break. And that's just to get an opportunity.
And that's 10 years of grinding, 10 years of no's, 10 years of not you, 10 years of just eating it and multiple jobs. So it's interesting. It's almost like a built-in filter. Life in the arts has a way of filtering out those who aren't really invested. People say, should I be an actor? And I say, if there's any part of you that doesn't want to do it,
Don't be an actor. Like you should only be an actor if you cannot help yourself. You can't imagine doing anything else. Yeah. Cause it's, it takes that kind of, it takes that kind of a fortitude to weather the storms of all the nose and all the rejections and all the close calls and all the almosts and all those things that just get hurled at you year after year, after year, after year, after year.
you know, and it's tough too, because you watch your peers as they, they climb their corporate ladders and start their families and buy a home. And you're still, you know, they go and you see him like over the holidays or whatever. They're like, so what are you doing again? You're, you're trying to be a comedian, you know, and they, you think you're trying to be humorous. Yeah. You know, are you, are you still working on that humor thing from high school? Humorous humor. Yeah. So it's, it's, it's, it'll break you. It'll break you.
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Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. My favorite phrase is, uh,
Have you been in anything that I would know? Oh, God. Well, and then you end up giving out your resume to people you don't even like or care about. And you're sitting there going. It's unbelievable. You know, they're going, have I seen that same question? Have you seen, have you done anything? And you go, well, I did a bit on Conan where I played a man in the audience. And all of a sudden you're like, why am I having to justify myself? You know, you're like. It's unbelievable. Yeah, just go to hell. How about that? The best is when you fall down that rabbit hole. And I still do it. Yeah.
You know, I'll be walking on the beach and, hey, don't I know you from somewhere? You might. Are you? I'm an actor. Whoa, really? Anything I would have known? And the next thing you know, I'm like, no. Oh, no. Didn't see Santa Claus Fire? Well, that was in the 80s. OK, so let me think about the 90s. Did you ever see? How about Austin Powers 2? No. Oh, the West Wing. Have you ever seen the one? No, never. And like I'm going on and on and on. And I'm like, what am I doing? Yeah. Why am I? Why am I? Why do I feel compelled to do this? Why do I? To justify.
I'm in the same boat. It happens all the time, but I don't know. I also think about people who I have a friend who's a veteran character actor, right? That's his, his niche, right? He's he'll, he'll have, you know, however many lines and something. And that's sort of it. And that's what he does. And it's great to be doing it forever. And I'm sure he goes through it and they say, have you ever been in anything? And he gets to say like, you ever been anything I might've heard of? And he goes, go, um, Titanic. Do you know what I mean? Like, oh,
Like, I love having like a throw down. Like, there aren't that many. Yeah. There aren't. I mean, I've been blessed to be in a lot of big stuff. But every single one of my quote unquote big stuff, it's completely conceivable nobody's ever heard of it. For sure. But like, you're like, yeah, Avatar. Yeah.
Or, right, like to have one like that would be nuts. Yeah, that's a good one to have. Just drop those and then walk away. It's like a mic drop almost in a way. Oh, it is. It is. Titanic, boom, gone. Yeah. Mic drop. I have to ask you about your, I mean, it's been a while, but your Top Gun 2 audition tape for Funny or Die. Yeah. Where you flew in the Blue Angels. Yeah. I mean, it begs the question.
Why did you not get a part in Top Gun 2? You know, it cuts like a knife. I don't know.
Well, because they wanted young and sexy. And I've only got two of those. That's right. I flew planes. I flew planes in the Marines. I had my pilot's license. But it's no, but it's even it's even more disturbing. I'm sad to talk about that. This is like the rejection of Hollywood. Here's what we're talking about, people. This is Rob Riggle we're talking to. OK, Rob Riggle, the big rig. And he goes out on his own volition.
And does Top Gun 2 audition tape for Funny or Die? Flies with the Blue Angels, passes out on it. I mean, he gives all he has to give. No G-suit. We did a 70-minute flight, did every basic air maneuver we did.
We did flight bombing simulator. We did nape of earth flying. We broke the sound barrier. I mean, I was a soup sandwich by the time we came in for a landing. He did a short field break, loaded up about seven and a half sustained Gs. And I went nighty night. I gave it, I left it all in the cockpit, man. You left it all in the cockpit. And then they do Top Gun 2 and your phone doesn't ring. And you're like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. What the hell? And then...
And the crowning insult. Just when you think, well, I can kind of understand it. Fighter pilots are not my age. They're not. They're younger. So that's why. That's why. It has nothing to do with me or my talent. They go and cast Jon Hamm. And, bro, I'm sorry, but you're just like a more rugged, taller version than the Hamm sandwich. Yeah, I love Jon. Hammer time. You could be brothers. You guys could literally play brothers. Yeah.
God bless you, Rob Lowe. God bless you. And I'm sorry. That was your part, dude. That was, that was your, that was it. That was your, your, your target right there. Just a stone cold, handsome prick. So let's find out who screwed you. Who involved, was it Tom?
Was it Cruz? No, it couldn't have been. I did meet the man once. And he was incredibly nice to me. So I don't know. He was the best. He was so nice. Yeah. And I kind of interjected myself onto him. And he still was nice. So I got nothing but kudos for that guy. I think it's somebody at the studio. Yeah, it's classic studio BS.
Yeah. Where they, it's like, it's like, you know what it is? It's like that scene in good fellows where you think you're going to get made, you know, you're, you're Joe Pesci. They bring you into the place. You think you're going to get the part and then right back there, right in the back of the head, famous. Oh no. Yeah.
Hey, but speaking of Top Gun 2, Maverick, I believe is what they call it. Yes. Miles Teller was in that. Did a great job. Very nice man. Have you seen his show, The Offer? Yes. It's amazing. It's so flipping good. And I encourage everybody. I've been going off about it ever since I saw it, but it's just so good. It's so good.
Because that reminded me of studios. Studios screwing people over and watching all that. My Miles Teller thing is Whiplash. You guys haven't seen Whiplash. It's one of my favorite movies of all time. Of all time. One of my favorite, and he's so good in it. What else here I want to talk to you about? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got to talk to you about your golf game. We got to go team up. I'd love to team up with you, man.
I just was playing in Hawaii. I play there all the time, playing with Mike Weir, Masters champion. Oh, my gosh. The great lefty. He's been giving me tips. None of them are working. But I've gotten to that place in my game where I'm so busy at the moment that all I can do is go to the driving range. I don't have time to play because I'm not a member anywhere yet. That's not right.
It's not right. It's not right. I need to pull the trip, but I live in Santa Barbara. You know, I, I could, you know, you know, a lot of my buddies are down at Bel Air and all that and I could do it, but I'm just anyway, enough about my golf game, but I'm probably playing to a 14, 13, something like that right now. You know, I go out there and I'm in the, I'm just solidly in the eighties. If I have a great game, I might,
Like I play out of my mind, I can play in the high 70s. And if I have a terrible game I can play, I go shoot a 92. So that's sort of where I'm at. Yeah, I played at that. I'm down to probably a 10 now. But I played at 14 for a long, long, long, long, long, long time. So I know exactly what you're talking about. You actually are now the most dangerous guy on the golf course because like you said, you can go high 70s to low 90s, which means –
When you're out there playing, playing money in that 14 handicap and go a long way. It sure can. Well, you know, and I want to play in the AT&T and, but I've been invited, but it's always during television season. I can't take a week off to do that. Are you still filming? Are you doing nine one one still down in Texas? Nine, nine one one lone stars. We're in the middle of our fourth season going in. We'll be going into our fifth next year. Congratulations. That's awesome, man. That is so good.
Yeah. And then I got a new comedy on Netflix comes out March 29th with my son. Oh, that's awesome. He and I co-created it together. I think I did see that. Yes. I think I saw the ads for it or something. It's called Unstable. We've got to get you on season two. We've got to figure out, be thinking about what you want to play. Like what is, do you have, cause I'm going to all my funny friends. You have to have something in your humorous mind.
Since high school when you were the most you were so humorous. What do you what do you have in your quiver that is so out there? I got right off the top of my head. I'm thinking some sort of life coach. That's good. That's gone. That's probably not right. It's probably got some real bad advice for you. Here's the thing, though. We have I already have Fred Armisen as my psychiatrist. OK. Yeah.
But maybe you guys battle. But he's soft cells. I'm more the survivalist type life coach. Yes. We're going to take you guys up in the woods and hunt and stalk you guys until you make it back to civilization. Did you learn that from when you were on Running Wild with Bear Grylls? Yes, Bear Grylls.
He is. Grills can never pronounce his name. Yes. He's a stud. He's, he's the real deal. Holy. I like that. Where did you go? I've been blessed to know. I'm like one of two or three guys. It's done his show twice. I've done two. I know. Yeah. So the first one was in Iceland and, and we were on a glacier humping about three or four miles over a glacier.
uh sleeping on the ice it was it was an adventure we had to ate a reindeer head um yeah uh thank god hang on hang on what part of the reindeer head and there's only one thing you need in it as far as i could well three things eyeballs or brains exactly and i somehow managed to avoid the eyeball he held up two pieces he goes you want the eyeball or do you want the cheek and he gave me the choice yeah i said cheek man
So he gave me the cheek and he ate the eyeball. And then the second time we did it, we did it up in the Sierras mountains. And we ate, was it maggots? I think it was maggots. Why would anybody eat a maggot? To survive. And I said, you know what? I can go three weeks without food, according to everything I've read. So I don't need the maggot, but I did it just to be a good sport.
No way. Yeah. My son and I caught a marlin this week in Hawaii. Nice. Yeah, and then we go in and sell the meat. We're using that fish. And I ate the heart. And it's a proud Hawaiian tradition. I was about to say, it's got to be a rite of passage there. But you got me beat. Was it salty? It tasted like super, super weird tasting fish.
salty and sort of iron ish and more fishy version than, um, bizarre sushi. Has your life changed since you had that? I mean, have, are you noticing things? Do you have superpowers of any kind? I'm a little more aggressive. I'm not going to lie. Did you actually punch a hole into the chest and take it? That I did not. It was, I'm not good at that kind of thing.
Tell me about your doc. Oh, man. Plastic Earth. It's a documentary about the plastics that are going on, our plastic situation here on Earth, and the effects, which are quite dramatic. I kind of stay out of a lot of things. It's not that I'm not aware or that I don't care. It's just that I generally...
do what I can, but I do it quietly. But I had some people sit down and talk to me that had really been diving into this. And the plastic situation in our oceans is pretty dramatic, and it seems to be getting worse. So when I listened to what these folks had to say, I appreciated the fact that they just weren't yelling and screaming and trying to dismantle
the entire system, but they were working on solutions and, and had bringing up creative ideas for resolving these problems. And so, you know, they were putting together a documentary and I, I said, well, that's amazing. And they were kind enough to ask me to kind of host it. And so let's, I jumped in and said, absolutely. I think what, I think what they're doing and the message they're sending out is pretty, pretty darn good, pretty important. What's the most surprising takeaway you got when you got sort of immersed in that world?
Just the amount of plastic that we have in this world and the length of time it takes to decompose. You know, you're talking anywhere from 20 to 500 years to have these plastics decomposed.
decompose and and the the tonnage the sheer tonnage uh every day that is being created and just left and it's just piling and consuming and being pushed out into our waters uh and into our environment um
It can get in so many ways, the micro, the micro plastics, uh, we, even when they're mulched up and when they're twisted around, you know, they get into the water, they get into our water supplies, they get into our food supplies and, and, you know, we're, we're all still fine. We eat our steaks and our chicken and we're, we're, we're doing okay, but it's, it's, uh, it's getting worse. It's not getting better. And, uh, it's something that we need to pay attention to. And I think that there's, there's nothing wrong, uh,
and being prudent and taking care of your home. I always think that's a good thing. All set for your flight? Yep. I've got everything I need. Eye mask, neck pillow, T-Mobile, headphones. Wait, T-Mobile? You bet. Free in-flight Wi-Fi. 15% off all Hilton brands. I never go anywhere without T-Mobile. Same goes for my water bottle, chewing gum, nail clippers. Okay, I'm going to leave you to it. Find out how you can experience travel better at T-Mobile.com slash travel.
Qualifying plan required. Wi-Fi were available on select U.S. airlines. Deposit and Hilton Honors membership required for 15% discount terms and conditions apply.
Meet the next generation of podcast stars with Sirius XM's Listen Next program, presented by State Farm. As part of their mission to help voices be heard, State Farm teamed up with Sirius XM to uplift diverse and emerging creators. Tune in to Stars and Stars with Issa as host Issa Nakazawa dives into birth charts of her celeb guests. This is just the start of a new wave of podcasting. Visit statefarm.com to find out how we can help prepare for your future.
Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. You were actually in Afghanistan for a while, right? I was. Did a couple tours. I made a movie. Actually, there's a movie called 12 Strong. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, 12 Strong. And I'm in that movie and I play Lieutenant Colonel Max Bowers, who...
in a crazy twist of fate was my actual commanding officer when I was in Afghanistan. No way. Yeah. So I'm playing, I'm playing my old boss. How does the universe make that happen? I know. Right. So where the movie ends, the movie ends when they take Masarie Sharif in Northern Afghanistan. That's where the movie is. Well, about a week after that is when I joined the unit.
And so I served there for a while, came back, served at Central Command during Anaconda, and then went back to Afghanistan in the summer for another extended period of time and then came back and finished out the fall. So I did my year down at CENTCOM and deployed twice to Afghanistan. But yeah, very interesting time. Very interesting time. You do a lot of USO stuff, right? Yeah, I love it.
what's the best what's the most fulfilling fun uso is it the christmas version of it is it right i feel like that would be the one that's you're gonna do it one i i was fortunate enough to go on the the chairman of the joint chiefs always does a christmas tour and and i was fortunate enough to go on one of those and it was a really fun group we had a really a good group we had uh
Doug Pfister, who's a pitcher for the Nationals at the time. And we had Brian Urlacher, middle linebacker for the Bears. And Diane Agron, great actress, who was, I believe she was on Glee at the time. And there was this unknown actress that I think she's, I don't know what she's doing now. Megan Markle.
Oh, yeah. No way. She was not with you. She was on our tour. Yeah. Wait, wait, wait, wait. She was on Suits at the time. See, this is the thing about doing a podcast is you just keep digging. And I'm not saying we haven't had a good podcast. We've had a really good podcast. But you just keep digging and sometimes you hit the mother load. So you mean to tell me.
That you were in Afghanistan. Yeah. With Meghan Markle. Yeah. She was a joy. She was wonderful. She was so nice and everybody loved her. And she was very gracious with everybody. Yeah, no, she was great. And also Kelly Pickler. Who else was there? Kelly Pickler. Kelly Pickler. Yeah. And myself. Yeah. So that was it. Did she go to Afghanistan looking for the king of Afghanistan? Do you think that was a research tour? Shh.
I don't know if she was looking for royalty. I mean, I don't know at that time. I don't think it was on her radar. I don't know. She seemed very mission-focused. It was all about the- Listen, I love you. You know I do. I think you're one of the great guys in Hollywood, but you are so naive.
I honestly do believe I am very naive. I really do. Wait, just think back. You're on the C-147. Where the hell? You're strapped in in the shitty seats. You're all flying. You're lined up instead of in rows. You know, it's like, you got that awful orange light on inside. You got nothing but time. Yeah. Think back. Okay. Just think back to stuff that maybe you didn't really know.
pay much attention to in the moment but now with the context of time yeah you know she was asking you questions about the aristocracy yes
of afghanistan she did i now that you mentioned i do maybe she did mention you know now i can't remember though was she angling for like a layover i don't know not i will say this our tour did take us uh through afghanistan uh into spain germany turkey and england
Uh-oh. So, and I'm not saying anything. Did she have a shore leave? Our time on the ground was about 24 hours in England. So I don't, and we were, you know, we were heavily engaged that entire time. So I don't think there was any window of opportunity there. England's not that big a country. No. And he's not hard to find. No. And he's probably got like a fast pass. And, and...
He was in the military. So there's like a synergistic. He would have every reason to be on a base, wouldn't he? And every reason to want to host an American contingent of the military. Around Christmas. Yep. Around Christmas, he's doing his princely duty. Man, you're starting to make a lot of sense, man. I think we've cracked it.
Well, now you know the origin. Everybody needs an origin story on this stuff. So there it is, bro. And listen, I think this is just as believable as her version, which is I'd never heard of him. I didn't know who he was. I think ours is more believable. She should have come to us. We would have sorted it out. So easily. Never heard of Prince Harry. Did she say that? She said she'd never heard of him? I didn't know that. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's hard. I'm pretty sure she did. I'm pretty sure she did.
It's so interesting. So the Daily Show, which you are fantastic on in its best iteration, is now looking for a new host. All that. I've still the phone has a ray. So whoever's at that studio is still, you know, got me in the crosshairs from Top Gun to dial this. I mean, what's the hell?
Listen, again, this is like, listen, let's learn our lessons from the past. We are doomed to repeat ourselves as a civilization if we don't learn the lessons of the past. I agree. Studying history. I'm a history buff. You know this.
I know that about you. So let's not let the same thing that happened to you with Top Gun to happen to you at The Daily Show. How can we be and how can I help? How can we be more proactive to get Big Rig into the big chair behind the desk at The Daily Show? Well, I know and I don't know for a fact, but I have a really good feeling that you have a red phone.
that goes to almost any studio or network in Hollywood. I do have a red phone. And if you wouldn't mind, maybe just pick up the red phone. Tell me who to call. Just tell me what studio it is. It's Comedy Central, right? It's got to be. Comedy Central? Bro, I'm a made man there. I'm a made man because of my roast. What would they have to show on Labor Day every year? That's right. If they didn't reshow that roast. So use the red phone. That's the only way it's going to happen. Okay.
otherwise i think that's it i think i'm out of contention i love it and corral he's out he's he's we don't need to worry about him he could be lurking yeah no he's he's uh he's big time movies he doesn't he doesn't uh he doesn't play he's not going back to basic cable no no no no no um so no i wouldn't i wouldn't count on that um
I don't know. I mean, you know, and when I say I don't know, clearly. You know. I know. You know. I know. You don't know. You know. You don't know is why the phone hasn't rang. That's what you don't know. That's what I don't know. And I haven't changed my number in 20 years. I still have a Kansas City number. Well, I was going to say, first episode, Patrick Mahomes and me. Come on. Yeah.
I'll do it. I'm there. Okay. Then it's done. Consider that done. God bless America. This stuff writes itself. Like it's how you and I aren't producing almost 90% of the content in Hollywood beyond me. Well, and solving mysteries.
Rig, big rig. So when are we going to golf? Let's figure it out. I'm close to you. Oh, great. You're on my commute. Yeah. Drop off. We'll swing up. There's all kinds of great clubs around here, all kinds of courses. Yeah, there really are. That's a mecca, that area. You got tons of stuff. A lot of good golf out here. It's suburbs, man. Suburb living. That's where the humor is. See if you want to be humorous.
Well, thank you guys for listening. I love my big rig. He's such a good dude. So I'm off. I got a lot to do today. I have I'm going to look for another Marlon, you know, have another heart. I'd like to eat a Marlon heart again today. You know, it's we're getting close to Valentine's Day and, you know, I want to be ready. So you got questions. I got answers. Let's hit the lowdown line. Hello. You've reached literally in our lowdown line.
where you can get the lowdown on all things about me, Rob Lowe. 323-570-4551. So have at it. Here's the beep.
Hey, Rob, this is Matt from upstate New York. Love the podcast. Love, love Parks and Rec. I've watched all the seasons probably three times. My question for you is we just got through watching The Lost Boys, and Corey Haynes' character has a saucy poster of you in his bedroom. Just wondering if you knew that,
And what kind of like the legal ramifications of that is, do you get like some sort of kickback on that or or what? Just curious. Just thought it was kind of an interesting, different question. Have a good one. Thanks, brother. I sued the shit out of Mr. Haim and the Warner Brothers people.
No, I remember. By the way, how weird is that? It's super weird. Corey's by the way, I loved Corey Haim. He was such a great actor. He's like this regular kid and he opens up his closet. By the way, I think the fact that it's a closet.
And not a locker probably tells you all you need to know about the character. But they, you know, they called me. Joel Schumacher directed it, who directed St. Elmo's Fire. I always had my suspicions that for whatever reason, they either didn't want me or I was unavailable or too expensive.
But I was sort of in their minds. So that's why they made Jason Patrick look exactly like me in St. Elmo's Fire, by the way. Exactly. And then they put my poster in the movie. But they asked me, was I OK with it? And I was totally OK with it. But yes, that's that's the story about my poster on Lost Boys and Jason Patrick ripping ripping off my look. And I constantly make nothing.
Nothing from that. Thanks for the question. I'm off to find a moral heart. Anyway, I love y'all, y'all. Thanks for listening. I'll see you next week on Literally. You've been listening to Literally with Rob Lowe, produced by me, Rob Schulte, with help from associate producer Sarah Bagar. Our research is done by Alyssa Graal.
The podcast is executive produced by Rob Lowe for Low Profile, Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Joanna Solitaroff at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson at Stitcher. All of the music on this podcast was composed by Devin Bryant. Thanks for listening. We'll see you next time on Literally with Rob Lowe. This has been a Team Coco production in association with Stitcher.
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